Matt Millen explains the 2007 draft

We at TWFE have come to possess a copy of an intra-office email sent by Matt Millen to the owner of the Lions, William Clay Ford, explaining his 2007 NFL draft picks. It definitely explains a few things...

From: Matt Millen
To: William Clay Ford
CC: William Clay Ford, Jr., Tom Lewand, Rod Marinelli, Mike Martz, Joe Barry
BCC: All position coaches
Re: Why I picked the picks that I picked

Calvin Johnson - Everyone said he was the best player in the draft. Even you guys. But when Mr. Ford ORDERED me to pick Calvin, what was I going to do? My hands were tied. So I turned down the trade that was going to net us 2 number 1's, 2 number 2's, and 2 number 3's, an ILB, and a CB, in return for Calvin's rights. I was just following orders...

Drew Stanton - I'm going to be honest. This was a mistake. A BIG mistake. I thought it was the 4th round. I really did. My bad. Can you blame me for being confused? The damn 1st round took some 14 hours! You try and pay attention for that long. It's unpossible!

Ikaika Alama-Francis - The wife called on Saturday, she wanted me to pick up some blinds. I asked if I should go to "IKEA." The guys in the war room heard me, and the next thing you know, we had drafted some dude named "Ikaika." Again, my bad. I should had sent her call to voice mail. Whoops!

Gerald Alexander - Remember when I said I thought it was the 4th round when I took Drew Stanton? I still did when we picked Alexander. Sorry.

A.J. Davis - I have absolutely no idea how we ended up drafting this guy. I zoned out for a few, next thing you know, this guy is on our board. I might have been sleep drafting.

Manuel Ramirez - I picked this guy just because I want to go through training camp saying, "It's just Manny being Manny!" If he misses a block? "It's just Manny being Manny!" He blows an assignment? "It's just Manny being Manny!" He comes to training camp late and overweight? "It's just Manny being Manny!" See, isn't it fun?

Johnny Baldwin - I thought he was one if the acting Baldwin brothers. You know, Alec, Daniel, William, Stephen, and Johnny? I really wanted to meet Alec, and ask him about the voice mail to his daughter thing. How was I to know there were only 4 brothers!

Ramzee Robinson - How could you NOT pick a guy maned "Ramzee?" It's a funny name! Funny HA HA, not funny weird. Well, maybe funny weird. I mean, come on, it was the 7th round. The last pick overall! He's not going to make the team, so you might as well get a giggle out of it. I did, hope you guys did too.

If you have any other questions regarding my draft picks, talk to Marinelli. He's the one who said he was going to "Coach 'em up."

Hugs,

M.M.

Underwhelming + Strange + Odd + Confusing - Common Sense = The Detroit Lions 2007 Draft

Matt Millen is an idiot. That's a given.

But he's also an idiot savant. He's the Rainman of the NFL. Millen is capable of doing one thing well, and one thing only. He has an innate talent for maneuvering up and and down in the draft, gathering extra picks as he goes. Somehow, someway, Millen was able to end up with 3 picks in the 2nd round, yet still keep the 2nd overall.

Unfortunately, a problem then arises with those extra picks.

The problem? He becomes an idiot again. A flaming, short bus riding, helmet wearing, mouth breathing idiot.

I have no issues with the Lions taking Calvin Johnson. Millen's normal brain fog lifted momentarily, allowing him one moment clarity over the weekend. He just as quickly lost all lucidity, reverting back into his Millen-fog, going by the results of the later rounds.

With 4 picks in the 1st and 2nd rounds, you would expect 4 starters, right? Not so fast, Lions fans. Every pick from the 2nd round on appeared, to my eyes, to be either a reach, a project, or both.

Millen parlayed those 4 picks into...

1. A starting WR, Calvin Johnson, who was a no brainer pick. Plug Johnson in the starting lineup, and pencil him in for a Herman Moore-like 100+ catches, 1200+ yards, and 10+ TD's every season. (One quick aside. For those who wonder if there will be enough balls to go around to keep Johnson, Roy Williams, and Mike Furrey happy, just look at the stats for the 1995 and 1996 Lions. If it can be done with Scott Mitchell under center, it can with Jon Kitna.)

2a. Drew Stanton, a QB that has ability, but whose coach at MSU was nearly as big a buffoon as Millen. Stanton shouldn't see the field for a good 2 years. If he even sniffs the field during the regular season, the Lions have issues. What am I saying? The Lions already have issues.

2b. Ikaika Alama- Francis, a defensive end from that defensively stalwart school...Hawaii? Francis is so raw that he makes Kalimba Edwards look polished. Look under "Project" in the Wikipedia, and you'll see the pict...Hell, you already know the joke...

2c. Gerald Alexander, a corner turned safety who is supposed to be a prototype Tampa 2 DB. A safety that is a prototype Tampa 2 player? Where have I heard that same line before? I know, I know! Last year, when Daniel Bullocks was drafted. The Lions 2nd round pick from 2006, who plays the same exact position! The Lions now have a big money free agent (Kenoy Kennedy) and 2 high draft picks at safety. That's all well and good, but who in the living Hell is going to play corner? Or linebacker, for that matter?!

This would be a great draft...If you were a playoff team that could afford to take chances, and wait on your picks to develop. A 3 win team doesn't have that luxury.

For a GM going into his 7th season, with none previous even remotely close to finishing .500, you would think that he needs to win now. But this draft leaves me with a question.

Where is the urgency?

The fanbase is out of patience. They have been for decades. So is the MSM. Yet the Lions draft as if they are getting a pass for this coming season. They might be getting a pass from the old man, William Clay Ford. In fact, I'm sure Ford is giving them a pass for this season.

From everyone else? Millen and Marinelli are on notice. Win, or else. Unfortunately, the only opinion that matters is Ford's. Which means at least 1 more season of a coach spewing platitudes about character and hard work, and weird ass drafting by an idiot savant GM.

Sgt. Marinelli claims he can "Coach up" his kind of players. Marinelli continually keeps preaching that he wants players with "Football character."

It would help those players actually had talent to go with that "Character."

If every notion you ever had turned out horribly wrong, what would you do? You'd do "The Opposite."

Today is the Detroit Lions Super Bowl, the NFL Draft. Bad things normally happen on draft day. Things like Mike Williams, Kalimba Edwards, Brian Calhoun, Joey Harrington, I need not go on.

I have just one suggestion for Matt Millen, one he should heed.

Follow the advice of a man who had the same track record as you, if not worse. Do what he did, it changed his life. It can change yours...

Just who am I talking about? I'll give you a hint...

Jerry Seinfeld once told him, "If every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right."

You'd swear Seinfeld was talking about Matt Millen, not...George Costanza.


Please, Matt, take George Costanza's advice to heart...

"Yes, I will do the opposite. I used to sit here and do nothing, and regret it for the rest of the day, so now I will do the opposite, and I will do something!"

"I'm completely ignoring every urge towards common sense and good judgment I've ever had. This is no longer just some crazy notion. Jerry, this is my religion."

It worked for Costanza, it can work for you. Matt, when you make your pick around 12:30 Saturday afternoon, I'm begging you, pay no attention to your gut feelings, ignore what your every instinct is telling you. Do "THE OPPOSITE."

Make it your religion.

Inside Millen's brain: Draft checklist

I have all my draft tools ready. I even made a checklist to make sure I'm all set.

Package of number 2 pencils. Check.

Sharpened? Check.

Extra erasers. Check.

Scantron sheets. Check.

Crib sheet with all the test answers from Coach JoePa. Check.

Envelope full of 20's and 50...Wait a sec! This is my Penn State finals checklist! How did that get stuck in my Trapper Keeper?! I need to clean this sucker out. What the Hell else is in here?

A thank you note from Matt Leinart that he sent after last year's draft. That's Matty, always thinking of others. Hey, it's Mel Kiper's autographed picture! I wondered where that went. That's going on the mantle!

There they are! Damn, I was really worried, I thought I lost them. Compromising pictures of...How on earth does Ford bend into that position? Wow that's BIG! How does it FIT!? Gotta remember to put those in the safety deposit box with the negatives! I only need to break these out a contract time, so mum's the word.

Ah, there it is. My draft do-to li...Uh, to-do list.

1. Do a mock draft.

Jeez. That's it? Should be easy enough.

Detroit Lions 2007 Mock Draft, by Me.

1rd round: They think they know that I know what they know, but I really know what they know. But I'm going to fool them all by taking Brady Quinn! I've missed having Joey around so much, I figure that Brady would be the next best thing to having Joey back. I was going to give Joey a call after the Dolphins released him, see if he wanted to come back, but Martz took away my phone! I went to Sgt. Marinelli to get it back, but he told me I need to fight my own battles.

2st round: I want my phone back, so if I pick another QB here, I think it'll make Martz happy. So I'm going to take Beek Bick Block Buck that old dude from BUY YUB UTHA UBY Brigham Young.

3nd round: Gotta get a wide receiver. I hear good things about Calvin Hobbes Johnson from Mel. I'll pick him here.

4rd round: I want to make sure we have plenty of QB's in camp. Don't need anyone throwing their arms out during the exhibition season! Drew Bledsoe Henson Barrymore Stanton from MUS SMU USM the Wolverines.

Round 5: Another wide receiver, just in case Calvin Hobbes Johnson doesn't pan out. I haven't had the best luck with recivers. I had no idea that Charles Rogers liked water pipes. Who knew Mike Williams liked to eat? And eat, and eat, and eat. So I'm penciling in Ted Beefeater Bombay Sapphire Tanqueray Ginn. I'll get my phone back for sure!

What's this? I have 3 more round 5 picks? Christ, we'll be here all damn weekend! I'll just trade them for someone's 1st round pick next year, easy enough. That way I won't have to do anymore research. Research makes my brain hurt.

6td round: Homestretch! Just to keep Sgt. Marinelli happy, I'll pick someone for the defense. He just goes on and on and on about some end. Says this end is perfect for his defense. Blah, blah, blah. He talks about him so much, my mind starts to wander. Now I don't remember his name! Damn! What is it? I like pudding. Mmmmm....Puddng.

Hold it! What's this? We don't have a 6td round pick? How? Oh yeah, we traded it. All that time spent on research for nothing. That's 5 minutes I'll never get back.

7th round: After I get pudding, I need to keep the Sarge from yelling at me. Then I need draft some more defense here. There's some other dude he tells me he needs. A linebacker, I think? In the middle? Screw it, I'll just take the best player left on the board. I've gotten lucky with injured guys in the past, so why not? I'll get Adrian Peterson here. Just like receivers, you can't have enough running backs! There, I'm done!

What? We don't have 2st pick in the 7th round, but the LAST pick in the draft instead? Damn it, Peterson will be gone! I gotta be here till the END? Jesus Christ on a stick!

What's this? The pick's already been made for us? Cool. But who's Mr. Irrelevant?

How could the NFL draft go badly for the Lions? Let's count the ways

With the NFL draft this coming weekend, there will be even more intense than normal scrutiny on Matt Millen and his drafting skills, or should I say, lack thereof. With Millen at the helm, the odds are not in the Lions favor that they will make the right pick. Let alone a series of moves trading down, leading up to their pick.

A Millen led draft leads you to think that several different 1st round scenarios may play out, and few, if any, will work in their favor.

The Lions could...

Stay at 2, and reach on Gaines Adams. You continually hear that Adams is talented, yet underachieves, has an iffy work ethic, doesn't always give his best effort, and takes plays off. Kindred spirit Shaun Rogers approves. He's also undersized, and has issues playing against the run. Kalimba Edwards commiserates. Well, we all know how Sgt. Marinelli likes to coach 'em up...

Stay at 2, and adding a 5th(!) tailback to the mix in Adrian Peterson. He would be a great pick IF the Lions hadn't already traded for Tatum Bell, signed T.J. Duckett, and had both Kevin Jones and Brian Calhoun coming back from injury. Then again, you could put them all on the field at the same time, right?

Stay at 2, and take Joey Harrington redux, Brady Quinn. Mel Kiper loves Quinn at this spot. Automatic red flag! That is reason enough to run away from Quinn.

Trade down a couple of spots, and then pick Brady Quinn. Giving the Lions 4 or so years with another underachieving golden boy. Wasn't the Joey Blue Skies era painful enough? We'd have to live through it again? Just kill me now.

Trade down several spots, then reach on Patrick Willis. If the Lions were in the middle of the 1st round, go for it. But not in the top 5, or even top 10. The Lions are desperate for impact making playmakers, and by dropping too far down in the 1st round, which I fear, you will get decent starters, but no impact players. The Lions haven't had that kind of player on offense, the sort whom the opposition had to gameplan for, since Herman Moore got old, and Barry Sanders retired. For that matter, when was the last time the Lions had a true difference maker that other teams were deathly afraid of on the defensive side of the ball? Bubba Baker? Then it's been 20-25 years.

Pull a Minnesota, and not get your pick to the NFL on time, dropping a couple of spots due to incompetence. That boner will be on Mike Tice's tombstone. "RIP Mike Tice - Husband, father, screwed up royally at the NFL draft" As if Millen hasn't been humiliated enough, God forbid something of this sort happens. It would be the apocalypse for Lions fans. Fans would then storm the Lions Allen Park facility with fire and pitchforks, nothing less than Millen's head on a pike would sate their bloodlust.

What good could happen on Saturday?

The Lions could...

Stay at 2, and pick the best available player between JaMarcus Russell, Calvin Johnson, or Joe Thomas. I wouldn't bitch if any of these players were the Lions number 2 pick. They are the top ranked overall, and any of the 3 would help at a position of need.

Trade down to the 4-5-6 range, get several extra picks, and taking the best available player. At that point, it's probably Gaines Adams.

Best possible scenario?

Millen screws the pooch so badly, it leads to his ouster at the end of the season.

We can only hope, as hope is all we Lions fans have...

Could the Lions make a bad draft day trade? With Millen in charge, it's guaranteed

After hearing all kinds of rumored trade offers the Lions have been sorting through, the latest rumored offer sounds like one Matt Millen would accept.

Why?

Because the trade makes no sense, and it's not nearly enough for the pick.

The latest rumored trade is Tampa will receive Detroit's number 2 pick, and in return, the Lions get the Buc's 1st round pick, the 4th overall, and Simeon Rice. No, nothing else. Not another draft pick, or picks, for that matter. Not another player. Just Simeon Rice.

Simeon Rice and the Detroit Lions, a match made in a Millen created Hell

If the incompetent boob didn't hang up on Tampa immediately after hearing that offer...Well, I wouldn't be surprised. The trade sounds just lousy enough that Millen would sign off on it. In fact, I'm sure the moment Sgt. Marinelli heard his former player mentioned, he'd want to jump all over that deal. He supposedly LOVES Rice.

We aren't talking about trading for a double digit sack artist and QB terror, the Simeon Rice of 5 years ago. That Rice would be worth talking about. The current Rice is 33, coming off a season with only 20 tackles, and 4 sacks, and is owed 7.25 million for 2007. Sounds more like a salary cap anchor than a quality defensive end.

How many defensive linemen do the Lions need? They gave big free agent money to former Buc's defensive end Dwayne White. They are on the hook for the franchised tagged Cory Redding. Shaun Rogers is not exactly inexpensive. Kalimba Edwards sucks, and even worse, he's making good money on a multi-year deal. To top it all off, supposedly defensive end Gaines Adams is the Lions 1st round draft target. He'd get a long ass contract as well.

Simeon Rice to the Lions has been rumored for quite some time, and it's rearing it's ugly head again. Why even talk about Simeon Rice? Unloading Rice makes sense to the Bucs, but it makes absolutely no sense to the Lions. Which is what worries me...

At least one of the beat writers in town agrees that Rice to the Lions is not a good idea. Killer Kowalski...

Let me put it another way: the Lions are expected to get at least a second-round pick out of the deal so you're basically saying the Lions would trade a second-round pick -- the 35th choice overall -- for an aging Rice who is on the last year of a very expensive contract. I don't see it happening.

I'm glad the Killer agrees. But the more we hear of Lions trade rumors, the more convinced I become that the buffoon in the front office will screw the pooch. The better the offer, the bigger the incompetent boob will fuck it up. Millen will out think himself, difficult as that may be, and believe he can get an even better offer. One that will never come.

Millen could pull the same stunt the Nationals' Jim Bowden did with Alfonso Soriano. He wanted both the moon and the stars for Soriano. Bowden ended up with neither the moon, the stars, or Soriano. Just bupkis.


I honestly expect on draft day, April 20th, we will hear that the Lions traded the 2nd overall pick for the equivalent of a bag of magic beans. Everyone and everything Millen touches turns to shit. Why think this draft will be any different?

TWFE talks draft strategy with Matt Millen

Detroit Lions NFL draft rumors are flying around the internet. We are hearing that the Lions will trade down with Atlanta, with Tampa, with Cleveland. You name a team, and the Lions are supposedly in trade talks with them.

If they stay put at 2, all the top names have been talked about in one mock draft or another. Calvin Johnson, JaMarcus Russell, Brady Quinn, Adrian Peterson, and Gaines Adams have all been mentioned as the Lions pick.

Trade down, or stay put? No one can say for sure what the Lions front office is currently thinking.

TWFE wanted to quell the draft rumors, once and for all. So in search of answers, I went right to the horse's ass mouth. I spoke with the Lions GM and President, Matt Millen.

What follows is a transcript of our "Conversation."

TWFE: I appreciate your speaking to me. Uh...You haven't read my blog, have you?

Matt Millen: What's a blog? I do have a question for you, though. I hear that you think we will take JaMarcus Russell. Is that true?

TWFE: I participated in a bloggers mock draft over the weekend. I did pick Russell, if that's what you're talking about.

MM: Who told you we would take Russell!?

TWFE: Uh, it was just a mock draft. Sure, I do think that the Lions need a QB. So I took the best available. No one has told me anything. As Sgt. Schultz used to say, I know noth-think!

MM: I loved Hogan's Heroes! That Schultz! Remember the one where Hogan pretends to be a Natz...HEY! You trying to distract me?! Cut that out! WHO TOLD YOU?! If there is a leak in my front office, I need to know!

TWFE: What are you talking about? I was going to ask you who the Lions would draft. If you think I have contacts in the NFL, you are sadly mistaken. I'm just a blogger.

MM: What the Hell is a blogger?

TWFE: Uh...I write for my own...

MM: You're a writer?! So you do have connections! Now I know you know what I know, you know? Tell me what you know! KNOW! Uh..I mean, NOW!

TWFE: Huh?

MM: Don't play dumb. Only a few people knowed we were taking JaMarcus Russell. Just my inner circle. Me, Howie Long, Mr. Ford, Ford Jr, Tom Lewand, Sgt. Marinelli, Mike Martz, Dan Miller, the naked drunk driving Wendy's eating coach, my wife, Mel Kiper, Mel's hair stylist, Joe Paterno, my bowling team, Joey Harrington, the guy who trims my 'stache, and Al Davis. I don't think Mr. Davis even remembers when he last went to the bathroom, so he'll claim otherwise, but I did tell him. Now it seems that you know too.

TWFE: I don't know jack.

MM: Jack? I'm not asking you about Jack! How did you find out?

TWFE: This is bullshit.

MM: I'm not talking about cows, either! Talk!

TWFE: About what?

MM: You tryin' to confuse me?

TWFE: Confuse you? Perish the thought.

MM: Wha...Paris? Did someone named Paris tell you?!

TWFE: Hilton?

MM: I'm not taking about hotels! Who's Paris?

TWFE: Not Paris! I said peri...Screw it. I give up. This is just getting silly. I think it's time to end this conversation. I'm getting dumber just talking to you.

MM: Was that an insult? I think was just insulted. Why I oughta...

TWFE: I gotta go. Here's a shiny penny, that should keep you occupied.

MM: OOOOOOOOOOOOOH... Hey! Where is everyon...OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH...

Quick thoughts...

Very little to no posting, as I actually have a life today...

Super quick thoughts...

Red Wings - Nice win, but I want to see them have another performance like Thursday's before truly believing. From seeing the empty seats in the stands, it appears most Wings fans agree.

Tigers: About time Inge got off the schnide, and a nice game by Maroth. Not that I would know, as the Charter cable franchise in my area doesn't have the room for Fox Sports Detroit Plus. They have enough bandwidth for 10 shopping networks, but not FSD+? Please...

2007 bloggers mock draft: Woo boy! It's not yet reached halfway through the round at this point, but I'm going to hold off on saying anything specific till Awful Announcing has the mock posted, but you could never guess how entertainingly snarky 32 bloggers can be.

The 2007 Sports Blogger NFL Mock Draft

As Ian mentioned in the comments of my last post, I was invited by Awful Announcing to participate in the "2007 Sports Blogger NFL Mock Draft." As you might have guessed, I'll be making the Detroit Lions 1st round pick.

Awful Announcing doesn't know what he's in for...

So, as any good GM should (Who the Hell knows what Matt Millen does), I'm asking what others think. Whom does the long suffering Detroit Lions fanbase think I should draft? Please feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments.

To be honest, I'm very tempted to make the sure, easy pick, in Wisconsin offensive tackle Joe Thomas. I can explore the option of trading down, but finding a willing partner, let alone the logistics of this undertaking, may may that hard. For example, Dan Shanoff, who is making the Raiders pick, is already talking of trading down to the Bucs' number 4 spot. If I try to trade down, I wouldn't want to move farther than 4 or 5. Best case scenario is swapping picks with Cleveland.

I'll be on the clock sometime later tonight, channeling my inner Mel Kiper.

Why are the Lions on the fast track to nowhere?

Because Matt Millen was busy being Matt Millen this past week.

Not to beat a dead horse, but after this past week, do you get the same feeling as me? That the Lions' season is over...before it even starts? Read the evidence that follows...

First, Millen said, if drafted, he'd play Joe Thomas at right tackle. What? Left tackle is where you put your STUD lineman, as that's your QB's blind side. The 2nd overall draft pick sure as Hell better be a STUD, so playing him on the opposite side would be a complete waste of his talent.

Considering that also means Jeff Backus, of whom you can best say doesn't get hurt, and rightly say is overpaid, and average at best, and the last thing you can call him is STUD, plays the left side.

I hope Rod Marinelli isn't on the same wavelength as Millen in regard to Thomas. Or anything else in regard to the Lions, for that matter. God forbid for all we Lion fans if so...

The only people on the same wavelength as Millen are John Kruk and Forrest Gump. That's a very scary wavelength, indeed.

Millen also said that he liked Gaines Adams. an undersized defensive end, who has trouble against the run, and would be a pass rush specialist. Millen was quoted as saying, "You can teach him the run stuff."

Can you say, "Kalimba Edwards?" We all know how productive Edwards has been, so why not put his doppelganger on the other end? It all somehow makes sense in Millen's feeble mind.

Millen is supposedly in trade talks involving 5 players. The 5 being Dre' Bly, James Hall, Marcus Bell, Ross Verba, and Marcus Pollard. Bly has some value, but has an expensive contract. Hall hasn't had a good season in 2 years, but you might get a 7th rounder for him. What could Millen get for Verba, Bell, and Pollard? Jack and squat.

I still have to ask, where is Millen going to find players to replace these guys?

There's only 7 rounds in the draft, for chrissaakes. Millen doesn't exactly have a sterling draft track record, definitely not one that would lead me to believe that a successful draft is in the cards.

As for free agency? The Lions are well under the salary cap, but so are most other teams, thanks to the cap going up. Where would you rather play? 3 win Detroit? Or anywhere else? Anywhere else wins every time.

At this rate of player attrition, I'll expect Millen to be suiting up at middle linebacker. Considering their dire straits at that position, Millen's more useful there than in the front office.

This coming season has disaster written all over it. Commence beating said dead horse, people.

Matt Millen's draft strategy is to not screw up. Here's how he most likely will...

In the weeks leading up to the 2007 NFL draft, otherwise known as the Detroit Lions' Super Bowl, rumors are running rampant. Rumors don't mean a thing to Lions fans, as we already know the incompetent boob running the Lions is going to blow another draft.

Despite knowing what the future holds, humor me. Let's talk about the 3 most often heard Lions draft strategies, and cut through all the BS.

The Lions want to trade down: Of course they want to trade down. A team with more holes than than the number of times Jon Kitna was turfed obviously needs bodies. Lots of 'em. Preferably with talent. At very least, breathing.

So who wouldn't want to trade down for a handful of extra picks? But saying you want to move, and actually doing so, are 2 wholly different things.

Haven't we heard this same draft song and dance every year of the Millen regime? And nothing ever comes of it. We fans hear the same platitudes, and know them by heart.

"We are keeping all options open." "We are talking with every team." "We'll listen to any offer."

And you know when the best offers will come in? While the Lions are on the clock, which will be either after the Raiders sign their new QB before the draft, or on draft day.

Till then, nothing is going to happen Nothing. Even then, I don't think dropping down will be an option. Read on as to why...

The Lions are open to drafting a skill position player: First off, anything the Lions say at this point is nothing more than a pre draft smokescreen. In other words, believe nothing, and if Millen's, Marinelli's, or Martz's lips are moving, they're lying. But the odds of the Lions drafting a QB, WR, or RB are longer than the list of Millen personnel miscues.

Thanks to Millen's boneheaded buffoonery in past drafts, the Lions are only going to take a offensive or defensive lineman (There will be one exception, more on that later). Millen will get pilloried for taking a skill position player, even if that player (JaMarcus Russell, Calvin Johnson, Brady Quinn) is the highest ranked left on the draft board. Considering the past track record, deservedly so.

Rod Marinelli has been saying that they need to build from the inside out. Marinelli's track record was built upon interior line play. That means going the safe route, and picking the likes of a Joe Thomas, Jamall Anderson, or Gaines Adams.

The one exception? As the Killer says in his excellent combine blogging, if Kevin Jones shows he's not going to be recovering from his foot injury as fast as currently expected, the Lions interest in RB Adrian Peterson will rise exponentially. A full season of Shawn Bryson, Brian Calhoun, and a washed up veteran free agent back to be named later as your backfield options is a legitimately scary thought. Kitna will have to throw for 5000+ yards, as there will be no running game without a healthy Jones or a drafted Peterson.

Other than that one exception, I think the entirety of the NFL, the MSM, bloggers, fans, and even our mothers, know that the Lions are taking an interior linemen.

Speaking of such, that's another reason the Lions won't be able to trade down. If you know the Lions aren't taking one of those highly ranked skill position players, NFL GM's are going to be lining up to talk with the number 3 picking Browns. That's a team who legitimately could pick a QB, RB, or WR, and not be laughed out of the league. Unlike our Lions...

As usual, the Lions past futility will come back to bite them on the ass.

The Lions need to do well on day 2 of the draft: Duh.

Here's the Lions 2nd day draft picks for this decade. If you have a weak constitution, or if there are children in the room, I'd advise you not to read the following...

2006: Rd 5 - Jonathan Scott OT, Rd 6 - Dee McCann CB, Rd 7 - Fred Matua OG and Anthony Cannon LB

2005 : Rd 5 - Dan Orlovsky QB, Rd 6 - Bill Swancutt DL and Johnathan Goddard LB

2004: Rd 5 - Alex Lewis LB, Rd 6 - Kelly Butler OT

2003: Rd 4 - Artose Pinner RB, Rd 5 - Terrence Holt S and James (Dirty) Davis LB, Rd 6 - David Kircus WR, Rd 7 - Ben Johnson OT and (You're my boy) Blue Adams CB

2002: Rd 4 - Jonathan Taylor DE, Rd 5 - John Taylor TE, Rd 6 - Chris Cash CB, Rd 7 - Luke Staley RB, Matt Murphy TE, and Victor Rogers OT

2001: Rd 5 - Scotty (Where are your testicles?) Anderson WR and Mike McMahon QB, Rd 6 - Jason Glenn LB

2000: Rd 5 - Todd Franz CB, Rd 6 - Quinton Reese DE, Rd 7 - Alfonso Boone DT

Today, it was reported that Sgt. Marinelli said the Lions need to "Hit some major league home runs" with their day 2 picks. To continue to mix metaphors, the Lions haven't even gotten more than a 2nd day bunt single in this decade. Definitely no one who could be considered a star, or even a solid starter, just a handful of barely serviceable backups, special teamers, and practice squad roster filler.

In fact, the last 2nd day "Home run" was Cory Schlesinger, who was a 6th rounder in 1995.

The odds of the Lions going yard, hitting a tater, taking it deep, or swatting a big fly on day 2 of the draft are longer than the amount of home run metaphors I can find. Truthfully, I'm expecting a day 2 Lions "Golden sombrero."

Why the mainstream media is OK: Reason 1

I know I'm one who normally bitches to high heaven about the clueless MSM, the previous post being my latest cry for help.

But I want to give credit where credit is due. Mlive's Lions beat guy, Killer Kowalski, is doing a bang up job in his Lions Weblog, with constant updates from the NFL combine.

Killer has posted about everything from Josh McCown trade rumors (He calls them total BS), to Charles Rogers running a 4.8 40 in a workout for the Chiefs (Killer believes Rogers is done with football), to a short interview with Mike Martz (Claims Martz said a ton of things off the record, criticizing several players).

I don't always agree with Kowalski, as his Lions' opinion columns sometimes spin out of control (Such as his saying a couple of seasons back that the Lions would cut Joey Harrington, which was pure speculation on his part), but I'm really enjoying his stuff from the combine.

Speaking of the combine...

The News' Mike O'Hara, not to be upstaged by the Killer, has his own combine scoop.

Joe Thomas, currently the consensus pick for the Lions in the current mock drafts, says "I'd love to play for Detroit." He also added "I think they're an organization that just needs a couple pieces, I think they're going to take off."

My thoughts?

As it's more than obvious the Raiders will take a QB with the first pick, Thomas will say and do ANYTHING to be the number 2 pick overall in the draft, even if it means coming off as delusional, if not insane.

On the other hand, Thomas may truly be certifiable, and believes everything he's saying. God help him...

William Clay Ford and Matt Millen: Draft day strategy

Matt Millen: Dammit, I should have known. He's deep into the Chivas. Here we go again.

William Clay Ford: //drool//

MM: Mr. Ford, sir? I'm here to speak to you about the upcoming NFL draft.

William Clay Ford: //whistle//

MM: Sir? SIR? MR. FORD?!

WCF: //snort//

MM: MR. FORD! THE DRAFT!! THE DRAFT!!

WCF: //wheeze// Huh? Wha?! DRAFT?! What about the God damn draft?! I have an exemption! I'm 4 fucking F, my daddy took care of it! World war my ass! I'm not going to war to support that damn socialist Roosevelt! I couldn't give a shit if some Archduke has been shot! Scotch me, Jeeves! Damn communists are ruining this country! Next thing you know, we'll be dropping the gold standard!

MM: THE NFL DRAFT, YOU DAMN DEAF ASS OLD COOT! Uh, um...That came out wrong, sir. I meant to say, I'm talking about the NFL draft, Mr. Ford.

WCF: Oh, it's you, Russ! How's things with my footballers? You still don't have that drunk alcoholic Texan playing quaterbacker, do you Russ? He's giving my Lions a bad name, with all the late night carousing and whoring! That won't do. That won't do at all. We need another QB, Russ.

MM: No, Mr. Ford, I'm not Russ Thomas, I'm Matt Mill...Whatever you say, sir. Anyway...We traded Bobby Layne in 1958, Mr. Ford. Jon Kitna is our QB now. The coaches all agree that Kitna is their man for next year.

WCF: Who? Johnny Kika? Sounds Jewish to me! You know that won't do, Russ. We need a real quaterbacker, not some jewboy. Now what about this so-called draft. Sounds like a good way to get my footballers a new quaterbacker. OK, it's settled.

MM: Settled? But...

WCF: We'll draft a quaterbacker, as long as he isn't a hippie, a jew, or a colored boy.

MM: Sir, I've talked with the coaches, and we all agree. We're quite happy with our QB situation. We want to take a lineman with our first pick.

WCF: A lineman? A LINEMAN?! //hack// //spit// Christ almighty Russ, what in the HELL are you thinking?! Are you on the drugs? Linemen don't sell tickets! I told you, we NEED a quarterbacker. You're driving me to drink, Russ. JEEVES! SCOTCH! NOW! OR I'M CALLING IMMIGRATION!

MM: But, but, but...Sir, the last time you told me to specifically take a QB, we ended up with Joey Harrington. He set back the franchise 5 years! We became a league laughingstock! We need to build from the inside out, sir. We like Joe Thomas, a offensive tackle from Wiscons...

WCF: A TACKLE!? Didn't you hear me? No one buys tickets to watch some lard ass! You are NOT drafting a..a...TACKLE LINEMAN! That settles that. Now tell me Russ, who are the best quaterbackers coming out of the university system?

MM: There's two QB's that are at the top of our draft board. A stud kid from LSU, Jamarcus Russell, and...

WCF: Jamar-who? Did I hear that right? JAMARCUS? He a colored boy?

MM: Uh...Well...

WCF: Russ, you know that's not going to work. We all know that the coloreds are lazy. It's common knowledge that quaterbacker is too difficult of a position for the coloreds. I WILL NOT have a lazy colored boy as my quarterbacker! Case closed! Now where's my scotch?

MM: I don't know where your scotch is, sir. Since we now don't like Russell, the next QB on the board is a kid from Notre Dame...

WCF: Notre Dame? Are you talking about Hourning? Paul Hourning is available?! 23 skidoo, now there's a clean cut young man! And a Heisman winning Notre Dame lad to boot. He's going to sell lots of tickets, Russ! Say what you will about those damn Catholics, but they sure can produce good footballers! That's who you're drafting, Russ. No ifs, ands, or buts. Discussion over. Now have a drink. GOD DAMMIT! JEEVES, I HAVE IMMIGRATION ON THE PHONE! SCOTCH! NOW!

MM: No sir, his name is Brady Qui...Oh Christ, I give up. Yes, sir. I can draft Paul Hourning for the Lions.

WCF: Now that's what I like in my general manager. A yes man. That's why our family business is doing so well, Russ. What we Fords say, goes. You best remember that, Russ.

MM: Yes, sir. Can I have that drink?

WCF: That's the spirit, boy! //snort// Scotch is the nectar of the Gods, you know. JEEVES!

MM: I hate myself...