Friday, March 02, 2007

Inside Millen's brain: Get-r-done

I'm so proud today. No, it's not because of the big trade. I'm wearing lace up shoes! Goodbye, Velcro! Hee!

I will admit that I think I done gud in trading Dre' Bly for Mike Bell, the left fielder for the Cincinnati Reds, and a curvy numbered round draft pick. I sure took Shanahan and the Bronkos to the cleaners! Hee! I'm so happy, I think I'm gonna ask Mr. Ford for a contract extension thingy! One with more of those curvy numbers in it.

I can't be too happy, though. I have plenty of football stuff to do before the draft next month. i need to make a list. I don't need a to-do list, what I need is a get-r-done list. Get-r-done! I like that, cause Harry the Cable Man is sooo funny! Hee!

My get-r-done list by Matt Millen

1: Get another wide receiver... Martz wants another one. Jeez! I keep signing them, and he keeps cutting them. Isn't Roy Williams and that little Furry guy enough? Nope, Martz says that he has to have Curtis as the number 2 receiver. Number 2?! Hee! Anyway, I wanted too keep that crazy mother happy. I think he's kinda old, but I placed a call to Issac Curtis. He had some grate years with the Cincinnati Reds.

B: Sign another quarterback - No one can replace Joey in my hart, but I may have a chance to draft the next bestest thing to Joey, Brady Quinn. He's just like Joey, but better! I mean, whenever I watched Noter Dame play on NBC, they always would go on about how good Brady is, and they are never wrong about Noter Dame.

eleventy: Get more draft picks. Well, I can cross that off. I did it again! We just got another curvy numbered draft pick from the Los Angeles Rams for James Hall. I'm so crafty. S0 what if he was a starter, and I don't have a replacement, I got us another pick! The Sgt. Marinelli will be so happy to hear that, he won't make me give him 20. I hope...

XLVIII: Buy underwear and pants for Joe Cullen - I don't want to see his junk anymore!

WWF: Buy a 2nd pair of underwear for Joe Cullen. I just know he's gonna be cruising the drive thrus again.

Sev7n: Look up what "Nepotism" means = People kept saying that word after Sgt. Marinelli hired his son-in-law to run the defense. What's the big deal? Sarge said he was a reel good coach for that Chucky looking guy in Tampa. That's good enuff for me!

&: Bookmark Mel Kiper's page at Mel might have been wrong about Joey Harrington, Charles Rogers, and Mike Williams, but I think the 4rd time will be the charm. He likes Brady!

Z: Weigh Mike Williams> So what if he's the biggest wide receiver on the planet. I know Big Mike has a bit of a gut, and that gut hangs over his belt. I think it's just more of him to love. But Sgt. Marinelli wants him at his fighting weight, whatever that means. We don't box, we play football! The sarge confuses me sometimes.

69. Get another wide receiver; Just in case Issac Curtis doesn't work out. I don't need another Corey Bradford! Is that Corey guy still on the team or not? I cut and re-signed him so many times, I don't remember.

70. Kick back, and watch the wins come! Hee!


  1. The enigma that is Matt Millen -- at least he's switched to lace up shoes. At this point, the Lions have so many holes, who knows who they'll draft?

  2. I don't know whether to cry or to laugh. :/

    It would be funnier if it probably wasn't so close to the truth, dammit!