Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Matt Millen explains the 2007 draft

We at TWFE have come to possess a copy of an intra-office email sent by Matt Millen to the owner of the Lions, William Clay Ford, explaining his 2007 NFL draft picks. It definitely explains a few things...

From: Matt Millen
To: William Clay Ford
CC: William Clay Ford, Jr., Tom Lewand, Rod Marinelli, Mike Martz, Joe Barry
BCC: All position coaches
Re: Why I picked the picks that I picked

Calvin Johnson - Everyone said he was the best player in the draft. Even you guys. But when Mr. Ford ORDERED me to pick Calvin, what was I going to do? My hands were tied. So I turned down the trade that was going to net us 2 number 1's, 2 number 2's, and 2 number 3's, an ILB, and a CB, in return for Calvin's rights. I was just following orders...

Drew Stanton - I'm going to be honest. This was a mistake. A BIG mistake. I thought it was the 4th round. I really did. My bad. Can you blame me for being confused? The damn 1st round took some 14 hours! You try and pay attention for that long. It's unpossible!

Ikaika Alama-Francis - The wife called on Saturday, she wanted me to pick up some blinds. I asked if I should go to "IKEA." The guys in the war room heard me, and the next thing you know, we had drafted some dude named "Ikaika." Again, my bad. I should had sent her call to voice mail. Whoops!

Gerald Alexander - Remember when I said I thought it was the 4th round when I took Drew Stanton? I still did when we picked Alexander. Sorry.

A.J. Davis - I have absolutely no idea how we ended up drafting this guy. I zoned out for a few, next thing you know, this guy is on our board. I might have been sleep drafting.

Manuel Ramirez - I picked this guy just because I want to go through training camp saying, "It's just Manny being Manny!" If he misses a block? "It's just Manny being Manny!" He blows an assignment? "It's just Manny being Manny!" He comes to training camp late and overweight? "It's just Manny being Manny!" See, isn't it fun?

Johnny Baldwin - I thought he was one if the acting Baldwin brothers. You know, Alec, Daniel, William, Stephen, and Johnny? I really wanted to meet Alec, and ask him about the voice mail to his daughter thing. How was I to know there were only 4 brothers!

Ramzee Robinson - How could you NOT pick a guy maned "Ramzee?" It's a funny name! Funny HA HA, not funny weird. Well, maybe funny weird. I mean, come on, it was the 7th round. The last pick overall! He's not going to make the team, so you might as well get a giggle out of it. I did, hope you guys did too.

If you have any other questions regarding my draft picks, talk to Marinelli. He's the one who said he was going to "Coach 'em up."



No comments:

Post a Comment