There will be no blood

If there is one thing sports talk radio can do, and do well, is beat a dead horse. Beat that horse not only into the ground, but deeper than than the hole Hilary Clinton finds herself in.

Today's dead horse? The Mike Ribeiro slash of Chris Osgood.

Ozzie's attempt to win an Oscar falls on blind referee eyes...

The slash dominated Detroit's airwaves today, to the point I had to turn off the radio. The talk had grown past redundant.

Yes, Ribeiro should have been suspended for using Osgood's chest as batting practice. Yes, Osgood instigated the whole damn thing by purposely clipping Ribeiro with the butt end of his stick. The NHL, in it's infinite lack of wisdom, fined everyone involved, and called it even. So be it, and to tell the truth, we all knew fines were going to result, and nothing more.

There were some callers and hosts who were upset the Wings didn't retaliate immediately, other than wrestling him down to the ice, after Ribeiro laid a two-hander on Osgood. Personally, I think it was smart on the Wings' part to not do something so stupid that could have ended in someone getting suspended. You don't retaliate in the playoffs, you do so in the regular season.

Think back to the Claude Lemieux hit on Kris Draper back in 1996 playoffs. (Hard to believe it was 12 years ago!) It was a much dirtier hit, severely injuring Draper. Rather than do someth8ing futile during the series, the Wings waited almost a YEAR before they finally retaliated.

We all know how well that turned out. Lemieux got beat to a pulp, and the Wings rode the emotion of that March all the way to the Stanley Cup.

As I'm writing this, the Red Wings are up 1-0 on the Stars, and Osgood has been standing on head. That's by far the best revenge.

Winning the series is much more important than the Wings getting their pound of flesh. At least till the '08-'09 regular season, when Ribeiro best have his head on swivel.

During the NHL playoffs, revenge is a dish best served...nest season.

Screw Mitch Albom. Screw him long and hard

In today's Freep, the Little Fella takes Detroit sports fans to task for not filling up the Joe last night.

Before I spend one more word on how good our hockey team played Thursday night, I have to say how bad it looked to see so many empty seats at Joe Louis Arena. Cheaper seats. Expensive seats. Empty clusters. Half-empty rows.

Uh, Mitch. During the playoffs, THERE ARE NO CHEAPER SEATS! Just less overpriced ones...

Remember the Cup? We loved that thing. We felt like we earned it -- every step. So what's the problem now? I know the economy is bad. I'm not telling people to hock the jewelry or find a job.

When you have to use the caveat "I'm not telling you," you actually are telling me...

But we're not talking 100,000 spots here, either. There are enough fans and money in our area to fill those absent clusters. Hey, if we can fill Lions seats, we can fill Red Wings seats.

My response? Fuck you, you heartless, over privileged fuck!

I know, it's not exactly Shakespeare, but "Fuck you" truly encapsulates exactly how I felt after reading Albom's self important tripe.

(By the way, when was the last time Albom was at Ford Field? Otherwise he'd know the expensive club level seating is mostly empty, and the Lions often filled their stadium only in thanks to the fans of the opposition team. You'll see just as many Bears and Packers fans at Ford Field, as fans of the Lions.)

It takes a ton of balls, or what's much more likely, being completely oblivious to the situation the middle class finds itself in here in Michigan, to call out fans for not spending money. What a clueless dumb ass. Just thinking about Albom's faux righteous indignation gets me furious.

I'm guessing Albom, when not churning out Oprah approved pap, spends his time in LA and New York rolling around in large piles of cash. Back here in rust belt reality-land, everyone I know is watching their money. Watching it closely.

I don't know a soul who could afford to drop several hundred dollars to attend a hockey game. Not one. I sure as Hell can't. Neither can anyone in my family, or my friends off or online.

I've used this analogy before, but it remains true. When given a choice between keeping a roof over your head, or buying overpriced Red Wings playoff tickets, there really isn't a choice.

Albom was once tuned into the pulse of Detroit, he knew what made the fans tick. Not anymore. He hasn't for over a decade. Not since Albom became a gasbag ESPN pundit, better known as an author, rather than a sportswriter, and spending most of his time on the left coast.

Otherwise he wouldn't have written this column, calling out hard working folk who are more worried about being foreclosed upon, paying medical bills, buying $4 a gallon gas, food prices rising, if their manufacturing job will even exist 6 months from now, than lining the pockets of a multi-billionaire, Mike Ilitch.

At this point, Albom would be better off sticking to writing saccharine novellas Oprah can turn into TV movies, than being the national voice of the Detroit sports fan. Because he has as much in common with we fans as I do with George W. Bush. That being nothing.

Mitch Albom can go to Hell. Or just stay in LA. Either is better than his remaining the "Voice of Detroit." Speak for whom you really know, the media elite. You sure as fuck don't speak for me.

Edit 4:00 PM: Albom doesn't speak for the Chief over at A2Y, either. IwoCPO went off on the Little Fella too.

Utter domination

Domination.

I could be talking about the Red Wing making the Stars look inept in game 1 of the Western conference finals, 4-1, or the Tigers losing another series, meekly going down to the Red Sox, 5-1.

Talk about polar opposite atmospheres, and teams going in opposite directions.

Over the airwaves, Comerica came off as morgue, while the Joe was electric. The Wings were living up to our expectations, while the Tigers were doing their damnedest to confirm our worst fears. The Red Wings have the look of a champion, the Tigers...I'm not sure, but if something doesn't kick in soon, we'll be calling 2008 a lost season.

The Red Wings have won 7 straight playoff games, playing their best hockey of the season, looking to all the world as the Stanley Cup favorites. I certainly wouldn't bet against them.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but the Tigers are playing in a stupor, and showing no sign of shaking out of it. The eyes don't lie. They are well on their way to becoming $138 million busts. I'm getting thisclose to pushing the TWFE panic button. Seriously, thisclose.

There's not much else to say...

Columnists say the darnedest things: Ozzie is the flavor of the day

If you read today's Detroit fish wraps, notice something eerily similar in their sports pages? The lead sports columnists for the Freep and News, Mitch Albom and Bob Wojinowski, essentially wrote the same column! Both decided to wax philosophic over the re-emergence of the Downriver puck bunnies favorite player ever, Chris Osgood.

From reading the columns over, it appears they shared notes. (and forgotten the beat writers have covered this territory quite well, especially when Osgood signed his contract extension. This is just the carpetbagging columnists jumping on the Wings bandwagon when more readers are paying attention to hockey.)

For example...

The Little Fella:

This is a guy who, during the lockout, began to reinvent himself, because he saw younger goalies with more efficient styles. So he worked and reworked and he taught his old dog new tricks, and he is arguably now at the highest level in his career.

Wojo:

No wasted energy, no wasted emotion, no wasted motion. This is the reinvented Osgood, who worked manically with a goaltender coach and refined his style during the 2005 lockout.

I'll admit, both columns are well written, but talk about different, yet the same. It's as if one cribbed from the other, just changing the words. They both diverge somewhat, (Albom, as is his wont, goes highbrow with a "Cinema Paradiso" reference, while Wojo goes more lowbrow for a "Brat Pack" call out) but both columns tread over the same, exact territory. In the end, they both wrote as sappy a column as one of Albom's diabetes causing novels.

Here's the Cliff's Notes version of both columns... (Get out your handkerchiefs!)

Even though Osgood won 2 cup rings during his first tenure, he left the Red Wings in semi-disgrace when Dominik Hasek was signed, spent 3 years in NHL exile, returned to Detroit an older and wiser goalie, then remade his game, leading up to he his having the best statistical season of his career, finally rescuing the Wings during the playoffs. The End.

I expect to see Oprah option this story for her next "uplifting" Albom TV movie.

Next time guys, check your calenders so you don't write the same damn story about the same damn subject on the same damn day.

The worst columnist in America, Rob Parker, continues to amaze with his lack of baseball knowledge. To fix something that really doesn't need fixing, Wobb advocates the Tigers signing...you know who it's gonna be...Barry Bonds.

I'm not going to bother quoting much from the column, as it's worthless. The following 2 lines sum up why Parker thinks the Tigers need to PANIC and sign the large headed one.

They desperately need a left-handed bat in their inconsistent lineup, which has been shut out five times in the first 34 games. Last season, the Tigers were blanked three times.

Over at Mack Avenue Tigers, Kurt takes down Parker in detail, so I'll just say this...

On a team which has 4 players who should play in the field as little as possible (Sheffield, Ordonez, Guillen, Thames), and are much better suited as DH’s (either now, or in the very near future), adding another DH makes zero sense. Less than zero, actually. Even if the DH is a left handed hitter named Barry Bonds.

Despite their struggles, the offense has not been the biggest problem. Not by a long shot. As I said the other day, it's the STARTING PITCHING. Unless Barry Bonds has a decent breaking ball, and can go 7 innings into games from the mound every 5th day, the Tigers don't need him.

The Tigers are quite aware of their need for a left handed bat. That's why Matt Joyce was brought up from Toledo. Sure, he's no Bonds, but the Tigers don't need Bonds. They needed a left handed bat who could also play the outfield. Bonds may be a lot of things, but an outfielder? In the national park sized outfield that's Comerica Park? I don't think so.

Then again, this is coming from Rob Parker, so making sense isn’t expected. From the nature of Parker's opinions, I doubt sense is even encouraged.

By the way, in regard to saying the same thing in different columns, Parker somehow manages to crib from himself. From the always goofy and nonsensical "Foul or Fair" bit with Tom Gage...

They are 0-17 when they've scored four runs or fewer. They've been shut out five times their first 34 games. Last year, they were shut out only three times.

Dude, we get it! No need to tell us twice...

Placido Polanco bails out the Marlboro Man

Being away from the PC all day, I didn't think I'd feel like writing tonight. But I had to say something about the Tigers beating the Red Sox 10-9 with the damnedest bottom of the 9th, 2 run rally you've ever seen...

One of the best, most dominant, closers in the game, Jonathan Papelbon is on the mound for the Sox. You'd think the game was in the bag for Boston. Then the dominoes began to fall.

Matt Joyce is fooled, yet finds himself on 1st base with a check swing infield hit. Edgar Renteria bounces a double play ball that turns into an E6, both runners safe. A Pudge Rodriguez sacrifice bunt moves the runners into scoring position. Curtis Granderson manages a run scoring ground out, leaving Renteria on 3rd with 2 out. After having ball 4 called a strike, on a 3-2 count Placido Polanco ends the game when his shattered bat dying quail falls into short left, and knocks in the winning run.

What the Hell? Did that really happen? There wasn't a hard hit ball in the inning.

If I'm Jonathan Papelbon, I'm wondering what in the HELL just happened? He didn't do a thing wrong, made several good pitches, yet still blows the save, and is saddled with the loss.

This would have been a crushing loss for the Tigers, for several reasons. Blowing a 4-0 and 8-4 leads, the "Caped Cruceta" pitching more like a cooked crustacean, the bullpen having their worst game in quite some time, and Detroit pitching overall allowing 3 BoSox home runs.

What was the most crushing of all was Jim Leyland's boneheaded/dumbass/stupid/silly/misguided/braindead/pick your insult decision to run Magglio Ordonez on a 2 strike pitch that turned into a strike 'em out-throw 'em out double play, ending an 8th inning scoring opportunity.

It's one thing to be aggressive, to try and make something happen. It's all together another to slice your own throat. Trying to force the issue with the bad kneed, lead legged Ordonez running? It's a play call reeking of desperation.

I'm not going to go as far as saying the Polanco's game winning hit saved the season, but it sure bailed out Leyland. There would have been Hell to pay Thursday if the Tigers lose, with Leyland taking the brunt of it for his 8th inning blunder. Polanco made everything moot.

This was a win the Tigers, and for that matter, the fanbase, really, really, really needed. Could tonight's victory be the one that finally gets the Tigers going in the right direction? No one can say for sure.

But it's a start.

Answering the Detroit Tigers burning questions: Sheff to left edition

If you find yourself listening to sports talk radio today, the Tigers are a hot topic. (Even hotter than the clock clusterfuck that bent over the Magic against the victorious Pistons last night) Most of the host and caller angst is currently caused by the Gary Sheffield to left field situation. In fact, there's a moron afternoon host on WXYT-FM calling for the Tigers to buy out Sheffield's contract. Right now.

Panic much, Valenti?

He's not the only one, as the Freep's Michael Rosenberg is hinting yesterday's shakeup were the moves of a desperate team.

With fans and media alike going all emo, it seemed like a good time for more burning questions. Let's light a fire under my ass, and answer some questions!

Sheffield to left field. Long or short term solution? (If it's one at all)

I can understand why Jim Leyland decided Gary Sheffield was odds on the best solution in left field. With his shoulder issues, it's a short term solution, though. I can't see it lasting more than the season. I'd be surprised if it lasts till the All-Star game. It may take only one diving catch, running into the wall, colliding with someone, to send Sheffield back to the DL. Obviously, the Marlboro Man is willing to take the risk.

As much as some people would like to close the door on the Sheffield era, it's too early to call him done. He had the same excruciatingly slow start last season, with moron hosts calling his career over. Sheffield then proceeded to carry the Tigers offense for 3 months. I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt, for at least the next several weeks.

We aren't talking about an run of the mill, at best, player like Jacque Jones. (In his case, the Tigers were correct in bailing) We're talking about a Hall of Fame level athlete with a long track record of success. In my eyes, Sheffield has proven to be a marvelous baseball player when healthy. Let's give him little more time before rushing to judgment, and calling him done.

Why all the love for Brandon Inge?

You got me. Brandon Inge is NOT the solution to what ails the Tigers, no matter how good his 3rd base glove is supposed to be. He can't HIT.

This isn't the 60's or 70's, when a team could get by with a good field-no hit infielder. This isn't the National League, where you can get by with no pop at the bottom of the lineup.You need more than a .230 hitter on the corner of your infield. Inge did get off to a good start, as his high water mark was .306 as of 4/12. Fast forward to 3 weeks later...Inge is hitting .235 and dropping, with no power.

Inge is valuable to the Tigers...when he's coming off the bench to play all over the field, and as a late inning replacement. He'll be exposed for what he is, a .235 hitter who'll K like a power hitter without any of the power, playing every day at 3rd.

Why all the hate for Miguel Cabrera?

I'm having trouble wrapping my head around all the fans questioning Miguel Cabrera. I'm already hearing voices (No, not the ones in my head!) saying the long term deal was a mistake. Come on, EVERY TEAM in baseball would have done what the Tigers did. You do whatever it takes to get a player of Cabrera talent on your team, and you then sign him for as long a term as possible.

The whole situation was exacerbated by Leyland pulling the position switch between Cabrera and Carlos Guillen. Even though Cabrera was a 1st baseman waiting to happen, much sooner than later, and Guillen has played 3rd in the past, the position shuffle made everyone look worse than they were actually playing. The switch made perfect sense, but it reeked of panic. In the end, Cabrera has looked fine at 1st. Guillen, on the other hand...Let's tjust ave it for another post.

Even if he is scuffling somewhat, Cabrera still leads the team in HR's and is 2nd in RBI. I will agree he could be playing better, but Cabrera is adjusting to a new team and league. He still doesn't look comfortable at the plate. When Cabrera does find his comfort level, and his track record says he will, he'll be a force. A HUGE force.

How would I characterize the Tigers' struggles at start of the season in one sentence?

It's the starting pitching, stupid.

The scapegoating begins: Jacque Jones DFA'ed

The first of Jim Leyland's "drastic" moves has been announced. The Tigers have essentially called their acquisition of Jacque Jones an EPIC FAIL, as Jones was designated for assignment this afternoon.

In lieu of a picture of Jones,
I thought this was more fitting...

As per Mlive's Danny Knobler, this says it all about the short lived Jacque Jones era...

Jones had just one hit in his last 29 at-bats, and he was hitting .165 with one home run and five RBIs in 24 games.

Taking Jones' spot on the roster is LH hitting outfielder Matt Joyce, who was hitting .299, with 5 HR's and 21 RBI.

So far, I'm 1 for 1 in my predictions, as the Tigers will have a new left fielder.To be honest though, I didn't think the Tigers would fully give up on Jones after only a month, just bench him.

We still don't know who's going to play left full time. Ryan Rayburn? Marcus Thames? God forbid, Gary "I'm more fragile than Peter Forsberg/Kevin Jones/Rocco Baldelli combined" Sheffield? I'm putting my money on Thames. It's just a hunch...

Edit 4:20 PM: My hunch was wrong. As per WDFN, Sheffield is the new full time left fielder (!), and has been moved down in the order to 6th, swapping spots in the batting order with Carlos Guillen. Guillen, and his troublesome glove, remains the 3rd baseman. Interesting...

Why bother to answer a question no one is asking?

Don't you just love it when someone in the MSM answers a question absolutely no one was asking? Or they make a declarative statement about something we already take for granted as true?

ESPN is obviously the biggest culprit, as screamfests like Around the Horn are nothing but talking heads spouting off their opinions over made up questions and making absolute declarations about the story of the day. Never mind the questions are those no one is asking and statements are blatantly obvious observations to even the casual observers.

Unfortunately, this style of sports coverage has crept it's way to the local level.

In Sunday's Freep, Drew Sharp concocted an entire column in this way, declaring for all to hear...

"Ozzie isn't the Wings' most valuable player through the first two rounds."

Really? Chris Osgood isn't the Red Wings' MVP?

No fucking shit, Sherlock.

Has anyone, anywhere said such a thing? From what I've read, not the Red Wings bloggers, or the beat writers. I haven't heard it spoken on sports talk radio or by the TV talking heads, either. But for the sake of filling column inches, Sharp has to set up a scenario no one believes is true to begin with.

Sharp goes on to ask, "who is the Wings' MVP the first two rounds?" His brilliant deduction?

"Johan Franzen is the runaway MVP right now."

Well I'll be damned. I'm actually gobsmacked! The Mule? What a surprise!

Why on earth would Franzen be considered the Red Wings MVP? Especially when you look at the stats, and see Franzen only leads the NHL in playoff goals, breaking every Wings' playoff scoring record in the process. He's also 2nd overall in points.

Not a bad postseason so far. Conn Smythe-like, in fact.

So Sharp says Franzen is the Red Wings MVP to this point? Again, let me say...No shit!

Actually, before even bringing up the darling of Downriver puck bunnies, you could also make the MVP case for Henrik Zetterberg and Pavel Datsyuk, who have dominated playing both ways. Zetterberg is tied for 3rd in points and leading in +/-, and Datsyuk is also tied for 3rd in points and is tied for 4th (With ANOTHER Wing, the marvelous Nick Lidstrom) in +/-. In fact, thanks to their destroying the Avalanche, winning 6 consecutive games, Wings are all over the playoff scoring leaderboard.

I'm not saying Osgood hasn't played damn well, as he has. He's undefeated and leading in goals against. But other Red Wings have played better. Noticeably better.

What we have here is a columnist writing down to their extremely knowledgeable readership. If there is a fanbase who know much more about a sport than a columnist (who rarely covers the sport) at your local fishwrap, it is your typical hockey fan.

Yet columnists of Sharp's ilk would have you believe Wings fans are too stupid or lovestruck to determine it for themselves.

Answering the Detroit Tigers burning questions: Time for drastic changes edition

With the Tiger starting their road trip off gangbusters with a sweep of the Evil Empire, and ending the trip by getting broomed in 3 games at the Homerdome, it's time for another round of burning questions.

The biggest questions revolve around Jim Leyland's announcement of "drastic changes" in the everyday lineup. He won't say what those chances are, but as a card carrying blogger, I can't help but speculate.

Let's stoke the fires of knowledge, and answer us some questions...

The Tigers were swept by the Twins this weekend, after sweeping the Yankees. Does it mean anything?

It means bad things happen to good teams in that God damn Mickey Mouse stadium the Twins call home. I ALWAYS go into any Tigers road trip to the Homer/Baggie/Heftydome expecting the worst.

I'm rarely disappointed.

Sunday's loss was the latest in the Tigers' bizarre Metrodome history, flying out the gate to a 6-0 1st inning lead, only to lose 7-6.

The Twins hit one ball hard in the 7th inning, yet scored 4 runs. (Helped by a Carlos Guillen error keeping the inning alive) Balls that are an out in any other MLB stadium become run scoring hits on that green painted concrete they call a field.

They don't play "baseball" in the Metrodome. It's a bastardized arcade version of the game where ground balls you'd expect to be gobbled up scoot their way through the infield, often all the way to the outfield wall, or a grounder that hits in front of home bounces 25 feet in the air. A game at the Homer/Baggie/Heftydome resembles baseball in the same way "NBA Jam" resembled basketball...

After Saturday's loss, Jim Leyland announced there would be "drastic changes" in the Tigers' lineup, beginning Monday. What does the Marlboro Man have up his nicotine stained sleeve?

Speculation is rampant the changes will include the shuffling of a visibly struggling Gary Sheffield down in the order, and/or a change in left field. Honestly, between Sheffield and Jacque Jones, also struggling mightily, what else could it be? Both are hitting well under the Mendoza Line, (though Sheffield still has a respectable OBP), making them the obvious targets of Leyland's "drastic" lineup change.

At The Detroit Tigers Weblog, Biller ran an a very interesting batting order idea up the flagpole, saying Sheffield should become the leadoff man, while installing the .750+ slugging Curtis Granderson in the middle of the order. In my mind, and to Biller's credit, if you aren't going to bench or DL Sheffield, this makes quite a bit of sense. Even when he's not hitting, Sheffield still gets on base (as shown by his .340 OBP), and he's a marvelous baserunner. Granderson is a 100+ RBI, 3-4-5 hole hitting stud waiting to happen.

In fact, it makes so much sense, Leyland won't do it. Remember, this is a manager who likes to bat Pudge Rodriguez, and his awful .300 OBP, leadoff.

What other lineup ideas have been bandied about?

Earlier this week, we saw Lynn Henning of the Detroit News threw his hat into the lineup ring, with a convoluted scenario. Henning would have Sheffield become the everyday left fielder, thus benching Jones, move Brandon Inge back to his preferred position, 3rd base, and installing the increasingly immobile and stone handed Carlos Guillen as the full-time DH.

There's a few problems with Henning's mostly ludicrous proposal.

Sheffield can't get healthy, and is unlikely get/remain so playing in the field every day. I can't get out of my mind the fact this whole shoulder mess started because of his playing in left field. Sheffield to left would mean the Tigers would have given up on Jacque Jones, and it being only a month into the season, I don't see it happening...Yet.

Henning's proposal would also cause another roster shuffle, as the Tigers would not want Inge to both play 3rd full time while backing up at catcher. This leaves the Tigers little choice but to call up a catcher from either Toledo or Erie to back up Pudge Rodriguez. A catcher that's probably not close to being MLB ready.

OK, mister smartypants basement dwelling blogger, what do you think Leyland will do?

After going over several scenarios, I have a feeling Leyland's "drastic" is going to be not nearly as drastic (Sheffield moving down in the order) as fans would like.

We'll see a lineup much like Sunday's, with a middle of the order of Cabrera 3rd, Magglio Ordonez 4th, Guillen 5th. Sheffield remains the DH while moving down in the order to 6th or 7th, and Jones is benched for Raburn/Thames.

Not exactly drastic in the true sense of the word, but it is a needed change. Sheffield has become as much of a rally killer as Jones, leaving men on base by the dozens. Cabrera is the perfect number 3 hitter, and Guillen, who's been the Tigers most consistent player at the plate this season, will get even more RBI opportunities in his accustomed 5 spot.

As for Jones, the only thing that has kept him in the lineup most everyday is his batting from the left side, something the Tigers have long lacked. Actually, with Jones hitting Ramon Santiago's weight,it's something they still lack. I'd be willing to cut bait on Jones, and call it a failed experiment. An expensive failed experiment.

We'll find out soon enough what the Marlboro Man is planning. I'm planning on being underwhelmed.

What have we learned? That last night was anti-climatic...

That was some kick ass Thursday night for Detroit sports fans, wouldn't you agree?

The Tigers swept the Evil Empire in New York for the first time since the highways were full of 20' long land yachts averaging 10 MPG, state of the art electronics were "portable" 13" black and white TV's that weighed 70 lbs and I was 4 years old. The Tigers are now only 1 game under .500, 1.5 back of first place in the Central, and punishing the opposition pitching. Even the Tigers' rotation has become to come around, with quality starts in 2 of the 3 wins. When Ramon Santiago is belting triples, and hitting more than Miguel Cabrera wishes he weighs, you know the season has finally turned around for the Tigers.

The Pistons planted their size 14 Nikes on the throats of the Sixers, embarrassing them in Philly (Though not near as embarrassing as Samuel Dalembert's mohawk, however) , 100-77, in a game which was even more of a blowout than the score indicates. In the process, the Pistons win their first round playoff series, 4-2. The game was never in doubt, as the Pistons jumped out to a double digit lead early in the opening quarter, and never looked back. Flip Saunders, neck deep in hot water a week ago, lives on to coach another series.

Most impressive of all were the Red Wings, looking like the Stanley Cup favorite, doing all but de-pants the Nordalanche in an 8-2 laugher. (Then again, they may have pulled the Avs pants down to their skates, as I went to bed when the lead hit 7 goals) The Mule, Johan Franzen, kicked the Avs with his second hat trick of the series, giving him an unimaginable 9 goals in 4 games. Franzen's goal scoring orgy broke Wings and NHL scoring records older than Mike Ilitch's hairpieces. The so-called Detroit-Colorado rivalry, long in it's death throes, but kept alive in the heads of our clueless media, can now be considered extinguished.

You couldn't have asked for a better night in Detroit sports.

Last night's success has me asking one thing, "What have we learned?"

Red Wings-Avalanche:

What rivalry? There is no rivalry. The Wings are an elite NHL franchise, the Avs are nowhere near the Wings' class.

Colorado has serious issues in goal, not that you needed to take journalism classes in college to figure it out. Both Jose Theodore and Peter Budaj both spent more time looking behind themselves to find the latest puck to have gone by, than actually stopping shots. After watching Budaj flail away helplessly in the final 2 periods last night, it's clear it wouldn't have made any difference if Joel Quenneville had benched Theodore after game 1.

Peter Forsberg is washed up. He still has talent, but his body is more fragile than a Fabrage egg and Dominik Hasek's groin, combined.

NHL officiating is abysmal. Both teams were jobbed blatantly, and jobbed often.

The Downriver puck bunnies are damn giddy, and will remain so, as their heartthrob, Chris Osgood, has outplayed the opposition net minders the past 2 series. I think we've seen the last of the crazy, oft gimpy, Czech in goal for the Wings.

Johan Franzen is really, really good.

Henrik Zetterberg is even better.

Pistons-Sixers:

The Pistons remain utterly confounding. They can look sooooo bad one night, then come back the next and play like the best damn team in the entire NBA. They have more mood swings than my ex-wife. It's not fun to root for teams with multiple personality disorder.

Tayshaun Prince won this series for the Pistons. In the last 3 games, all Pistons wins, Prince shot 77% (!) from the field, averaging 17 PPG, 6 RB, 3 AST. Nice...

I still believe this may be the last season for the Pistons as we know them. If we fans get pissed off over the Pistons and their short attention span, flip the switch when we want ways, how must Joe Dumars feel?

Tigers-Yankees:

The starting pitching, though still a concern, has pulled out of their death spiral, and beginning to put together quality starts. Which leaves the question (I know, I'm asking a question in my "What have we learned" bit, but hey, I'm just a basement dwelling blogger) what to do with Armando Gallarraga hanging. I still think he's going to Toledo if, and only if, Dontrelle Willis proves he can throw strikes more often than Rob Parker can write an intelligent column.

I love Cabrera's rubbing head bit with Placido Polanco. In fact, you could say Miggy was giving the Placidome good h...No, I'm not going there, as we bloggers are all too profane and vulgar, right?

Speaking of Cabrera, he's starting to look like a good investment, huh? He still appears a tad uncomfortable at the plate, but even when it looks like he's taking a bad swing, the ball travels 400 feet. Take his opposite field HR last night, for instance. In no way did it seem Cabrera hit the ball all that well, yet it still carried well into the right field seats. Same for his triple, though it was helped by Bobby Abreau playing the fly like a drunk in the middle of a bender.

Placido Polanco's stats for the New York series: 6-15, .400 AVE, 3 RBI, 5 R 2 HR, 2 2B. We don't have to worry about the Placidome, he's back.

It's not a coincidence the Tigers are 2-0 since the Jason Grilli trade. Just sayin'...

Curtis Granderson has played in 8 games since coming off of the DL. The Tigers are 6-2 in those games. That's not a coincidence either. Granderson has an insane 1.253 OPS, with 10 extra base hits, and 8 BB. You could not possibly ask for more from your leadoff man. Curtis Granderson is the straw that stirs the Tigers' offensive drink.

The Tigers are going into their house of horrors, the Baggiedome in Minnesota, this weekend. I'm always nervous when they play the Twinkies, as I've seen enough weird things happen to the Tigers in the Homer/Baggie/Heftydome to scar me for life.