Housekeeping: I'm still kicking

A little bit of housekeeping before things go back to normal at TWFE.

I had the talk with my doctor Monday, and he's found out...well, not much.

It's confirmed that I'm bleeding internally, but they still don't yet know why, where, or how. I'm anemic, as the blood loss is causing a big time iron deficiency. I'm also feeling quite run down (thanks to the iron deficiency) and I'm losing weight, about 15 pounds in the last 4+ months, which is also somewhat concerning my docs. I'm kind of happy about that, (I'm thisclose to the weight I played high school football! w00t! I'm at my fighting trim! If I was fighting, that is...) of course the caveat being as long it's in thanks to me watching what I eat (which I try to do, but not to any extremes), and not a symptom of something else. Just add it to the list of things I need to monitor.

At least I have a good idea as to why I get so God damn exhausted sometimes, and don't even feel like writing, let alone doing anything else. Now we just need to figure out the actual reasons behind it all. Should be fun.

So the next step in figuring out the internal bleeding is seeing a Gastroenterologist next week, where we'll discuss my having an (ugh) colonoscopy. At least we're now taking baby steps towards a solution.

But the fun doesn't end there. The next week, I'm headed to Ann Arbor to meet with an orthopedic surgeon at U of M. We'll see if I'm a candidate for having my spine surgically straightened with an osteotomy. I was able to find the following about the "procedure" in attempting to do my due diligence better than Matt Millen ever did...

While rare, a procedure such as an osteotomy may be an option. This involves cutting through the spinal column so that it can be realigned to a more vertical position in order to significantly improve the posture of a patient. After the bone is realigned in a more vertical position it will be allowed to heal in that new position. Typically, spinal instrumentation (such as pedicle screws) and a spinal fusion are combined with an osteotomy to stabilize the spine during healing and foster growth of new bone to fuse the spine in the new position.

The area of the spine that is operated on will vary depending on the type of deformity and symptoms, and for some patients several sections of the spine may need to be surgically corrected. For example, for severe chin-on-chest deformity, surgical correction in the area where the neck meets the upper spine is typically done.

Boy, that sounds fucking pleasant. Carving up my spinal column, straightening my back, then wearing a halo and/or dealing with a hardware store in my back, for who know how long while the bone fuses together. Jesus...

But it's nowhere near being a done deal. I'll know much more about the surgery, and if this is something I may go through with, in a couple of weeks.

Anyway, my personal melodrama should be quieting down, with things returning to its normal, boring routine at Casa De Big Al . In other words, my father has left SE MI. With it confirmed that I'm doing OK for the time being, my dad and step-mom took off for Florida this morning, hoping they'll be able to find gas once he drives past the Mason-Dixon line. He wants to make Atlanta tonight, where my step-sister lives. She let him know the gas tanks in Hotlanta are as dry and barren as the Arizona desert...on a good day. My fingers are crossed they have an uneventful trip.

So that's the latest. I'll be back to writing about life's toy store, sports, shortly. One of my first priorities will be The Knee Jerks, as Eno and myself are hoping to get our little weekly chat up and running soon. As for TWFE's move to MVN, the latest from the MVN Grand Poohbah's is they are shooting for mid October. They are having issues with their new platform, delaying our plans. But it will happen.

By the way, I want to thank everyone who touched base, and were thinking good thoughts during all my medical bullshit.

Thanks for reading, and allowing me to vent a tad. We now return to your regularly scheduled programming. How about those Lions and Tigers, huh?

Chuck Hernandez is now a true Michigander. He can file for unemployment...

If you had bet on Tigers' pitching coach Chuck Hernandez to be the first casualty in response to what's been a God awful 2008 season, you can now collect.

 The unemployment office is that way?

The Tigers have decided to fire pitching coach Chuck Hernandez, the Free Press has learned.

Detroit manager Jim Leyland said prior to this afternoon’s game that the team was not ready to make any announcement related to its coaching staff, but club officials have indicated for several days that general changes were imminent. The dismissal of Hernandez appears to be the first of them.

I'm sure there will be more scapegoats to come. This is only the first move of many, as I'd expect the Tigers to react to the most disappointing season in Detroit sports history very swiftly and with extreme malice. Heads will continue to roll. Hernandez was just first in line.

I'm still around...

I apologize for the lack of content recently. Between having family in town, and a medical issue cropping up, sports have taken a back seat at Casa Del Big Al for the last few days.

Today was typical. I was pondering what I might write about today, and there's a knock at the door. I happily surprised to see it was my dad, wanting to hang out, then get some lunch. He, being a typical parent, is worried about me. Why?

Let's go back a few weeks... I see my rheumatogist at U of M every 4-6 months, depending on how I'm feeling. Part of the 3-4 times a year drill is to have blood tests, to make sure the numerous meds I take for arthritis and pain aren't doing more damage to me than the disease itself. During my last visit a couple of weeks ago, my rheumatologist told me my blood counts are down, amongst other things, and believes I may be bleeding internally...or something. He's not sure, and tells me to see my GP soon, and have him delve further into what's going on inside me.

So I went to my GP, who looked over the info sent down from A2, and he immediately scheduled me for more tests. I had blood drawn, and several tests performed, this past Tuesday afternoon. I was supposed to call a couple of days after the tests, and then see the doc over the next couple of weeks. But my doctor's office called me first thing Wednesday morning to schedule an appointment to talk about the results. It caught me totally off guard, as it deviated from the original plan. So it seems they may have found something. What that something may be, I don't know yet. I'll find out Monday afternoon.

I'm just trying not to worry about it, as this may be something minor. But as you also might guess, my parents are alarmed. Instead of heading back to Florida Sunday, my dad even decided to stay in town an extra day or 2 till we know more.

So that's what's up. I'll get something posted on TWFE over the weekend, and I'll go from there...

As always, thanks for reading, and FIRE MILLEN! Wait...

WTF? That's the name...

I'd like to make an announcement. No, it not about the move to MVN. (That will be happening in October!) It's in regard to to new feature at TWFE.

A pair of Detroit sports blogging titans (too much?) are undertaking a new venture. I've joined forces with Greg Eno of Out of Bounds. The result?

The Knee Jerks: WTF? With Eno and Al.

The Knee Jerks, (or as I like to call it, TKJWTFWEAA) will be a weekly chat, the two to us talking all things sports, both Detroit and national. Eno brings to the discussion his decades of experience as a legitimate journalist and his ability as a wordsmith. Me? I"m just a smart ass fan who's not afraid to drop the occasional F-bomb. I'd compare our meeting of the minds to the likes Frank Deford talking with the sports obsessed dude at the corner bar. (I'd be Frank Deford, by the way)

It'll be like this, but with WORDS!

TKJWTFWEAAwill hit the tubes of the internet every Thursday, both at TWFE and OoB. I hope you'll enjoy reading the chats as much as we'll have doing them!

Millen made how much?

I'm back from a day spent with the folks and away from the PC. I'm catching up on the latest...

The numbers involved in paying off the porn 'stached goon are absolutely flabbergasting...

Insanity, thy name is William Clay Ford.

Millen, who was 31-84 in his seven-plus years in Detroit, could walk away with as much as $50 million.

Millen has already made more than $38 million in the first seven-plus years of his contract. Millen originally was given a five-year contract at $5 million per season, but he was granted an extension in 2005 for another five years (ending after the 2010 season) at the same salary. Millen's record was 16-48 when he was given the extension.

Uh...WHAT. THE. FUCK?!

The bane of my existence is going to end up walking away from the franchise he completely destroyed with $50 million? That's just plain wrong.on all sorts of levels.

It's not only the fact that the porn 'stached goon is going to stroll back to Pennsylvania with "fuck you" money, it's the fact that his wide swath of destruction included taking the Ford family fortune down a few pegs. The Lions would be valued at far more than the $800+ million Forbes currently estimates the franchise is worth if Millen hadn't spent the last 8 years systematically destroying the team from the inside out.

Anyone else who threw such an insane amount of cash at a dumbass so fucking clueless, any moron plucked off the street could have done a better job for a fraction of the money, would be involuntarily committed for psychiatric observation. No wonder Bill Jr. dropped a dime on Millen, as his incompetent father was pissing away his inheritance.

Ford's only defense can be "not guilty by reason of insanity." Unfortunately, that's not good enough when the same man is going to have final say in hiring Millen's replacement.

The Who's great song, "Won't Get Fooled Again," has lyrics amazingly appropriate to the Lions' situation.

"Meet the new boss, same as the old boss."

If William Clay Ford has too much say in the next hire, those lyrics will be all too fitting. He will get fooled by the new boss...again.

It's over. It's all over. Millen is no more.

I never thought it would happen. Never. Not in my wildest, wettest dreams.

The man I've long called a porn 'stached goon, a moron and the bane of my existence, the worst general manager in sports history, the most hated man in Detroit, Matt Millen, is no longer running the Lions.

My first thoughts? I'm not a religious man, but...

THANK YOU, LORD! THERE IS A GOD!

My second?

IF HE KNEW THIS WOULD BE THE RESULT, WHY DIDN'T BILL FORD JR DROP THE "I'D FIRE HIM" BOMB IN PUBLIC 4 YEARS AGO? WHY? WHY? WHY?

My third?

If that same God I thanked is a vengeful God, I hope Millen gets put through the same Hell he put us fans though these past 8 years. An eye for an eye, I always say.

Now that the Millen era is finally over, I have to reiterate just how disgustingly bad Millen was as a GM. I wrote the following over a year ago. I feel the need to reprint why is Millen hated with such burning, scathing, all-encompassing rage by the long suffering Detroit Lions fanbase...

Millen is historically bad. Legendarily bad. The sort of bad that will be talked about for generations. When you look up bad in the encyclopedia, you'll see Millen's picture. Millen will be the comparison used when talking about how low a GM can take a franchise. Millen is so bad, that no other GM will ever be allowed to surpass Millen's ineptness, as they would have been canned long before they could do Millen-esque damage to a franchise.

That's why Millen is the most hated man in Detroit.

As of Wednesday, September 24, 2008, Matt Millen is history...literally and figuratively.

More later...

Edit 11:30 AM: WDFN, which has been on fire this morning, is reporting there a rumors of a 12:15 PM presser at the Lions' Allen Park HQ. COO Tom Lewand and assistant GM Martin Mayhew are expected to be taking over duties from the porn 'stached goon. 

I'm not exactly thrilled by the news of Lewand having more responsibilities, as he's not a "football" guy, but a money man. He's the Lions' version of Pistons owner Bill Davidson's right hand man, Tom Wilson (We all knew how badly it went when Wilson had more say in basketball issues). But Mayhew is a wild card, though anyone even remotely associated with Millen brings all sorts of caveats. But at this point, a blind, senile, shit flinging chimp would be an improvement over the porn 'stached goon.  

By the way, for you Michigan ex-pats, I suggest you get your asses online, and listen to either The Fan (WDFN) or The Ticket (WXYT). The mood of the callers is joyous. This is one of the best days in Detroit sports history. Seriously.

I have some other committments today, as my dad and step-mom are up from Florida, so I'm going to be away from my PC all afternoon. Please feel free to comment and email away, and I'll be back later today.

Now what?

I'm sure that's the question everyone is asking after Bill Ford Jr, dropped the "I would have fired the general manager” bomb yesterday. Fans and local media jumped on Junior's statement with the same glee and vigor Madonna humps 25 year old studs.

24+ hours later though, is anything different? Which is why I can tell you exactly what's going to happen with the Lions.

So I'll repeat the question...

Now what?

Nothing.

That's what.

Why? Because that's William Clay Ford's M.O. Always has been, always will be.

Ford is either... 1) so afraid to make the wrong move, he'd rather make no move at all, 2) a chickenshit who refuses to do what needs to be done because he's afraid to piss off someone he likes, or 3) he's so rich and above it all, he just doesn't give a flying fuck.

No matter what the reason may be, any or all of the above, none of them are good enough to have let the situation linger for years. Ford's inaction has allowed a moron named Matt Millen to literally DESTROY a franchise by alienating what had been a beyond loyal fanbase to the point where they feel open revolt is the only way for their voices to be heard. All because Ford "likes" the God damn SOB in the GM's chair.

There's a reason William Clay Ford was never given any real power in the family business. You only need to see how he's run the Lions since 1964 to know what the Ford family knew from the outset. The youngest of Henry Ford's grandsons is an incompetent buffoon.

You can see the evil in a young William Clay Ford's eyes

as he plots against one of the best coaches in Lions' history, Joe Schmidt.

If William Clay Ford had taken helm of Ford Motor, we'd have been talking about a Big 2 for the last 25 years. There would be no Big 3, as FoMoCo would have never made it through the "Malaise era."

William Clay Ford couldn't be trusted run...run...Hell, anything, let alone a Fortune 500 corporation. Thus, to the keep the neer-do-well, none-to-bright Ford baby brother (When compared to older, smarter brothers Hank the Deuce and Benson) from meddling in the day to day operations of FoMoCo, he was given his own little toy to play pretend boss with, the Detroit Lions.

The rest is history.

Considering the consequences of WCF ruining one of the nation's biggest and influential corporations, allowing little Willie Ford to run the Lions into the ground was necessary collateral damage. Better Ford's "brilliance" causing the Lions to piss us off decade after decade, than allowing millions to lose their way of life. It's the price we have to pay.

I know what you're going to say. "Big Al, you can't believe the bullshit about William Clay Ford you're spreading, do you? Ford can't be running the Lions like a rudderless ship for the greater good?"

I say, "Whatever gets you through the night, it's alright, alright."

So that's where it stands. The prodigal son, Bill Jr., wants a scorched earth policy when it comes to the Lions' front office, while his dumbass dad would rather stay the course, common sense be damned. Typical, as William Clay Ford's franchise is the NFL's version of the Titanic. The Lions have hit their iceberg, and it's name is Matt Millen.

In other words, same shit, different day, same old Lions.

Christ, I can't believe this fucking team...

Worse, I can't believe I'm a FAN of this fucking team...

Detroit Lions @ San Francisco 49ers : The aftermath - We must destroy this team in order to save it

The Lions blogosphere has spoken, and they are PISSED.

The Detroit Lions Weblog is totally without hope...

I have never been more dispirited as a fan of this team. Everything you see and hear from the organization rings of total bullshit. At a time when I can barely afford to buy groceries, I am expected to pay even MORE than I did last season to support a team who is clearly worse. Forget it, I will still watch at home, with my mouth agape, rather than attending any more games at Ford Field, and I won’t be afraid to switch channels, either.

I once thought empty seats at Ford Field would be the one way to get through to William Clay Ford. But he's so dense, so clueless, so enraptured with Matt Millen, I honestly doubt even the end of the sellout streak, and the declining attendance that goes along with it, will be enough to get Millen fired.

Millen is so entrenched in the Lions' front office, an atomic bomb couldn't unseat him. When you think about it, you could call Bill Ford Jr calling for Millen's head today an atomic bomb of sorts. Junior wants him gone, and didn't mince words in saying so. That's definitely dropping a bombshell...and it won't accomplish a God damn thing.

As always, Eno has a well thought out post as to what he'd do if he was in Ford's shoes at Out of Bounds.

There's more time than you think, because the Lions are on a bye this Sunday. So there's 13 days until the next game, when the Bears visit for what should be another slaughter at Ford Field.

In those thirteen days, the Lions should:

1. Fire Rod Marinelli
2. Fire Matt Millen
3. Fire the scouting department
4. Fire the pro personnel people
5. Fire them all, really, except for the nice ladies in the front office, like the receptionists, secretaries, and the like. No sense punishing

Believe you me, there's much more here than just "fire everyone." The best suggestion in the "Eno Plan" is going to the league office for some much needed help and guidance, then treating this team as you would an expansion franchise. You have to tear it down, before you build it back up.

Greg, do us ALL a favor, and please send WCF your resume, OK?

The nuclear option is the only thing that could save

the Detroit Lions from themselves...

At Fire Millen, they, like us all, just want to blow the whole thing up.

This is a critical point for the future of the Lions. It is obvious that Marinelli is not the answer. The team needs to be blown up and start over. I know this is painful for the fan because it takes time to do that, but it is easier in the NFL than any other sport. And it is not like we are close to success right now. We have not even won a game - me might as well be working to the future while losing instead of playing a tired old quarterback and drafting wide receivers every other round.

I realize blowing up the franchise would be painful. There needs to be some sort of plan, like the "Eno Plan," in place when the destruction happens. Painful though it may be, it's also for the best. If enduring a few years of pain leads to this team no longer being an NFL laughingstock, I only have one thing to say. "Where's the pain pills?"

Gorilla Crouch is also in the "you must destroy it in order to save it" camp.

The Vietnam-era phrase about burning the village to save it is apropos for a franchise that has been one of the most inept franchises in professional sports for as far back as that war. Matt Millen’s leadership of the Detroit Lions has been a complete failure and the sooner the Ford family realizes that and removes him from his position the sooner the team can move in another direction to try and alter the storyline of this pathetic franchise.

Any blogger who can use "apropos" in a post is A-OK in my book. But I digress...

Dave, we now know there's one member of the Ford family who realizes what has to be done, namely shitcan Millen. Too bad it's the wrong one.

In the Freep, Drew Sharp is surprisingly lucid, though what he says is obvious to even the most casual of Lions fans, this season is over. He does note there is one possible scapegoat left. The God Warrior, Jon Pickna Shitna Kitna.

Millen and Marinelli are out of scapegoats.

Can’t blame Mike Martz anymore.

He proved Sunday that he’s perfectly willing to run a more balanced offense when he has an excellent running back, such as Frank Gore, capable of establishing that equilibrium.

Don’t be surprised if Kitna becomes the next one scheduled for a horns’ fitting.

Benching your QB in order to buy more time from ownership? That's an old school move right out of the playbook of the patron saint of this blog, the Big Buck, Wayne Fontes.

When you find yourself fondly looking back at the Wayne Fontes era,

you know it's hit rock bottom

Actually, the Killer says the same thing at Mlive...

These desperate times call for desperate measures. The man Marinelli must emulate is ... Wayne Fontes.

Damn straight. Fontes could have Death himself knocking at the door, and within an hour he'd have a long-term deal cut with Death, and they'd be the best of friends.

Killer continues, saying Marinelli's channeling of Cocaine Wayne will have him playing his proverbial ace in the hole...Drew Stanton.

Marinelli has to go with second-year player Drew Stanton. The former Michigan State quarterback might not be good to start with, but he's going to be exciting. Marinelli has to quickly shift his focus to the future and let the fans and media chew on "what might be'' because if they concentrate on "what is,'' Marinelli's in big trouble.

If Marinelli were on the ball, he'd be on the phone with Fontes right this minute, and taking notes on crisis management and deflection techniques. I can just imagine what advice the Big Buck would impart...

"Rod! Did ya fire the defensive coordinator? Ya did?! Good, good, good! Did ya fire your offensive coordinator yet? After last season? Damn! Too soon, son. Too soon. Ya shoulda waited till da middle of da season, totally deflectin' da blame, then ya coulda easily bought a coupla more years from da old man. Did ya change QB's yet? NO! Well Hell son, you're set! Ya have yer Teflon! And yer on yer bye week? PERFECT TIMIN'!

Hey Rod, while I gots ya on da horn, ya needs a assistant? I has da time, ya know..."

Wayne Fontes, the Teflon Don of the NFL coaching ranks. We could all learn life lessons from the Big Buck. All the wrong lessons, to be sure, but life lessons all the same...

Detroit Lions @ San Francisco 49ers : Final thoughts - A debacle by any other name...

We're 3 games into the 2008 NFL season, and the Detroit Lions are offically out of contention. They have been dominated by a good team (The Packers), and much more tellingly, by 2 bad teams (The Falcons and 49ers).

Let's sift through the rubble of another Lions' debacle, and see what's left...

1. Late last night, my knee jerk reaction to the latest Lions loss turned fiasco was for William Clay Ford to go to the nuclear option. He has no choice but to blow the entire God damn mess up, nuke this NFL franchise (in name only) from orbit.

Ford needs to fire everyone even remotely linked to the team, from Matt Millen and Tom Lewand at the top, all the way down to the Allen Park HQ janitorial staff, and everyone in between. You all had your chance, and failed miserably. The time for new blood has arrived.

After sleeping on it, I still feel the same way. If you read the comments from my last few posts, check out the message boards, listen to sports talk radio, read the fishwraps, EVERYONE in Detroit feels as I do...save for the only person whose opinion counts, that of William Clay Ford.

It's sad to think that even the senile Al Davis, who is thisclose to firing Raiders head coach Lane Kiffin, has a better mental grasp on the dire straits of his team than Ford. At least the baby food eating and Depends wearing Davis is on the verge of taking some sort of action in regard to the Raiders' struggles, while Ford gives his defacto approval of the performances of Millen, Lewand, Rod Marinelli and the roster they've assembled, by not asking for any sort of accountability.

As it's apparent Ford isn't going to the nuclear option right away, we have no choice but to hope the Lions fully implode, if they haven't already, and finish the season 2-14, 3-13, Hell, even 0-16. They must finish the season with a record so bad, so disappointing, so embarrassing, Ford has absolutely no choice but to put front office and coaching heads on the chopping block.

It's our only chance for much needed change.

2. There is no defending Rod Marinelli at this point. If his butchering of clock at the end of the 1st half yesterday isn't conformation enough that he is a position coach masquerading as a head coach, you'll never be convinced.

Marinelli's decision making is becoming more bizarre by the week. The man claims he's "building a foundation." How can you "build" anything when you continue to play 30-something veterans on defense? Why were all 4 rookie defensive players, all of whom were deemed good enough to make the roster, inactive for the game? "Building a foundation" my ass...

Why was Kevin Smith, who is the future at running back, benched in favor of (the admittedly semi-effective) Rudi Johnson? We all know Johnson, a once great back who is on the decline, is as good as gone after this season. Smith needs to get the majority of touches, or he'll just go down as another wasted draft choice.

Why is the only draft pick getting significant playing time Gosder Cherilus? It took George Foster stinking out the joint in the first half of game 2 before the Lions' coaches decided to play him.The '08 draft picks, chosen to fill very specific needs, once looked promising. Not anymore.

How can Marinelli be 35 games into his head coaching career, yet he still can't master the use of time outs and replay challenges? His complete inability to grasp the simple basics of time clock management says plenty, and it's all bad.

I'm not even going to go into the son-in-law's Joe Barry's NFL worst defense, Jim Colletto's unimaginative offense, the complete refusal to change up anything in the schemes of the Tampa Too defense, the slow starts that have games essentially being over before halftime, the inexplicable loyalty to a QB who looks to be losing both his (average to begin with) skills and mind or the discipline Marinelli claims to demand not showing up on game days.

Instead of pounding the rock, it's time for Rod Marinelli to go pound sand.

3. Jon Kitna has spent the last 2+ seasons getting the snot beat out of him, turning the ball over, putting up big, but empty, numbers and leading the Lions into the abyss. Yards, leadership and intangibles mean jack shit when you don't win games.

The Lions have to finally break down, and see what they actually have in their young QB's. It's amazing to me that this franchise, after 3+ seasons of Dan Orlovsky being on the roster, and Drew Stanton now into his 2nd season, still don't have a clue if either of their young QB's are legitimate NFL talents. It's roster mismanagement at its most egregious.

Play Stanton, Orlovsky, even Drew Henson. At least they might, just might, bring a spark to a misfiring offense. I can live with turnovers and mistakes being made by a young QB learning the ropes, getting used to the speed of the NFL game.They are going to learn from those mistakes.

But I can't tolerate those same mistakes being made by an experienced 36 year old QB, in his 12th NFL season, who is likely to blame those mistakes on "God's will."

The time to bench Kitna is nigh.

4. It seems Bill Ford, Jr., as have we all, has seen enough. When asked by the media to comment on daddy's team, he went public with his displeasure over the direction of the Lions while at the Detroit Economic Club.

"It was an embarrassment, the fans deserve better, and if I had the authority, I would have fired the general manager,” Matt Millen, Ford said.

When asked again a few minutes later if he would fire Millen, he said, “Yes, but I don’t have that authority."

"I don't have the authority." Well...shit. So much for Junior saving the day...

Edit 5PM: The always on the ball "The World of Issac" has Junior's "FIRE MILLEN" up for all posterity on You Tube:



I've been a fan of the Detroit Lions since the 70's. I've hung with the team through very little thick and mostly thin. I'd never think of changing my fan alliances. I'm as loyal to the Lions as ever. But I'm not sure I've ever felt this damn hopeless about the situation they now find themselves.

No, I am sure.

I've NEVER been so without hope. It's fucking beyond hopeless.

Memo to William Clay Ford: Blow it the F*CK up

I don't give a shit about the future, as there is none. Just blow the whole God damn thing up. This season is over.

Is "epicer" a word? If not, it should be...

Time of death: 7:15 PM Sunday night, September 21, 2008.

Detroit Lions @ San Francisco 49ers: 2nd quarter - Bringing the pain!

Edit 10:15 PM: I'm home! I had a nice time with the family, but I'm still bummed I couldn't finish the live blog. Unfortunately, I couldn't even finish the 2nd quarter due to circumstances out of my control.

My cable went out at approximately 5:20, with a good 5 minutes or so left in the half. (4:20 would have been more fitting, but hey...) Thanks so God damn much, Charter! I pay you literally an arm and a leg for the shittiest service this side Comcast. But it's not like I have a choice in providers for high speed internet. But I digress...

I had to leave at halftime anyway, heard the rest of the game on the radio. It's fair to say if I had live blogged the 3rd and 4th quarters, it just would have been more of the same. I'm sure I'd have lost my shit, so to speak.

I'll touch more on loss number 3 Monday. I'm tired, I've had a few beers, and there really isn't much more to say about the 31st worst team in the NFL. (We can all agree the Chiefs are the worst in the league, right?)

I'll do a post mortem on this game, and the Lions season, because this season is OVER, tomorrow.

After a false start, it's 1st and 15 from the 28. TE screen! He's all the way down to the Lions11! Jesus, the Lions are, are...well, suck ass.

It's Gore up the gut..down at the 5. Niners on the doorstep. It's Gore again, this time it's stuffed. Baldy is going on how the Lions miss Martz. Actually, they MISS HAVING TALENT. Screw Martz, he was part of the problem.

It's a pitch to Gore...Big hole in the middle, scores untouched. Jesus fucking Christ, the Lions are AWFUL. Just fucking AWFUL. FIRE FUCKING EVERYONE! Seriously, let's blow it the fuck up, and start over. Couldn't be any worse than this bullshit.

For the 3rd game in a row, the Lions are down early, and down big. So much for pounding the motherfucking rock.

YES! WHAT A RETURN! Middleton to the 30. Hey, I'll take what I can get.

A short pas and run by Rudi leave 3rd and short at the 39. We've seen very little of Smith since early in the 1st. Boy, the draft is looking better and better. Rudi gets the 1st, at least.

Kitna is back...HUGE pressure, as Backus looks damn silly diving at the rush...Kitna throws...Incomplete pass on a dropped ball by the TE.

Fake reverse, handoff Rudi...There's a hole, it's a 1st down and more, goes for 16 yards, and into Niners territory.

Kitna looks for Williams on 1st down, an out pattern hits his hands, falls incomplete. It would have been a tough catch, but he still should have come down with the ball. You want to get paid, you need to make plays. Period.

Rudi is looking good, as he gets 10 on a sweep. Ball at the Niners 30. Harris and Rudi have been the best Lions by far.

Khalil is hoping in the comments...

Lions gonna make marts look good just like they make any team they play look good........but I still Got Hope.....Please lions please just dont go down 21-0 again!!!

We shall see, the Lions are driving, but have a 3rd and 10. Kitna's back, but checks down to Furrey on a cross, gets 4. Joey Harrington would be proud.

Jason Hanson is on for the 44 yard attempt...DRILLS IT! Thank God for Hanson.

14-3, Niners still lead. I'd imagine Martz is on the sidelines, shaking his fist at Marinelli, saying "DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU TO HELL!" OR something like that...

Hey Khalil, you got your wish!

Niners will start at their 27. Hey, we see Brian Billick for the first time!

JT is back to pass...The TE is open deep! SHIT! But it's underthrown, the DB is able to break it up. A good pass goes for a TD. But there is a flag, holding the fucking Lions. Figures. Make a good play, but it's nullified.

JT is back to pass again...LOTS OF TIME....Johnson is open in Lions territory, 1st down at the 44.

JT again looking to throw...it's caught at the 24, 1st down.

JT back to pass...TD. 24 yard pass to Walker. Piece of cake for the Niners. Piece of fucking cake for Martz.

21-3 Niners.

Jesus, what in the fuck is wrong with the Lions? Oh yeah, they have moron running the team, a position coach pretending to be a head coach, and absolutely no talent.

Detroit Lions @ San Francisco 49ers: 1st quarter - Martz's revenge

We join Dick Stockton and Brian Baldinger from the City by the bay, where people leave their hearts. As usual, I'm live from my living room...for the 1st half, anyway.

From the Killer...


All four of the Detroit Lions defensive rookies are inactive for today's game. That includes linebacker Jordon Dizon (neck) and linemen Cliff Avril, Andre Fluellen and Landon Cohen.

On the flip side, not only are all three offensive rookies active for the game, but they're starting. They include right tackle Gosder Cherilus and running backs Kevin Smith and Jerome Felton.

 FOX  is busy pumping the "Martz wants REVENGE" plotline before the kickoff.

Some things never change...such as the Lions' special teams. Middleton takes the kickoff to the 16. PLEASE! FIRE! STAN! KWAN! NOW! TODAY! ASAP!

 Kitna scrambles for 6, and then we have our first flag. Cherilus false start. Christ, even the rookies are catching whatever George Foster has! Quarantine him, stat!

Wonderful, the Stick is having clock issues. The stoppages in play seem to help the Lions, as Kitna finds Roy Williams for 9 and a 1st down at the 30. At least they keep possession. Baby steps, people. Baby steps.

Kevin Smith, quoted in the fishwraps he was disappointed in his production, gets 4 yards on 2 carries. So much for that...

A 3rd down pass falls incomplete, as Baldy tells us Kitan had happy feet. Lions will punt.

A nice return for the Niners has them at their 37. Time for Martz TO GO FOR THE JUGULAR!

It's Lions' reject JT O'Sullivan under center, with Frank Gore behind him. I think it'll be JT for the blog, O'Sullivan is a PITA to type.

Martz is being sneaky, calling 2 rushes to start. Leaves them a 3rd and 6. That's 2 runs, his quota for a quarter with the Lions.

JT is back to pass, and the middle is wide open! He takes off, stumbles along, gets the 1st down, and is into Lions' territory.

Ooooo, JT misses a wide open receiver deep down the middle on 1st down. Martz is going to remember that for later in the game, ya think?

Well, what do you know! The Lions front 4 gets penetration on 3rd and short, stuffing Gore and forcing a punt. Wonders never cease.

But the Niners win the battle of field position, as Furrey fair catches the punt at the 10. So far, pertty quiet 1st quarter between a pair of teams realistically not going anywhere but down.

And we have ANOTHER false start, on Gaines, the TE. 2 drives, 2 flags. I guess that's the consistency Marinelli keeps talking about.

A Smith run sets up a 3rd and 8 at the 12. I'm almost missing Martz's offense. At least it wasn't boring.

KKitna is back to throw...SACK! BALL! Lions dodge a bullet, as the Lions recover at the 2. Kitna is still playing as if he's in quicksand. Heeeeee'ssss ssssllllooooowwww ttttoooo rrreeeaaaaccccttttt. Up to this point, the Lions offense is a no-show...

A nice Harris punt give the Niners the ball at the 50. They are winning the field position battle, let's see if the batshit insane Martz and his offense can take advantage.

Lions offsides on 1st down. So much for Marinelli's vaunted discipline. 3 flags so far.

Paris Lenon stops Gore on 1st down. That's likely the only time we'll hear Lenon's name today. Did I mention Dizon is inactive? Cause he is...Some draft, huh?

It's a 1st pown at the Lions 39...Gore has a hole on the left...HE"S OFF TO THE RACES! He's dragged down at the Lions 6. The Detroit defense has been a no-show aqs well. Shit.

A short run and incomplete pass leaves the Niners 3rd and goal at the 6. Need a stop, DAMMIT!

JT rolls right....Isaac Bruce is open in the corner of the end zone..Touchdown Niners! Fucking Lions.

I have a couple of questions. Isaac Bruce is still playing? And how does a 50 year old receiver get so open? 7-0 bad guys, and Mike Martz giggles maniacally.

The Lions return team barely gets the kickoff to the 15. It's comforting to know there's consistency in this world. FIRE KWAN!

Rudi Johnson is the backfield, and IS HIT AS SOON AS HE TOUCHES THE BALL! To rub salt in the wound, the Lions are called for an illegal formation. Rudi has to be wondering why on earth he signed a contract with the Lions. Hell, I'm wondering myself. He loses his luggage, and now any respect as a running back he may have had left.

Kitna rolls right on 3rd and long...Looks deep down the sidelines for Johnson...broken up. Lions will punt, again.

Niners take over at their 47, Stockon calls Nick Harris, the punter, the Lions most effective player. Quoted for truth. Word to your mother.

Niners with the...double reverse? It fools the Lions, as Battle takes the ball to the Lions 33! The Lions blow on both sides of the fucking ball.

It's JT to a long-haired hippy fullback, gets 12 and the 1st.

That's the 1st quarter, folks. The Lions must be jet lagged, as they are a step slow compared to the Niners. Or they could just blow goats.

7-0 Niners after 1 quarter. Bring the pain!

Detroit Lions @ San Francisco 49ers : Pregame thoughts and linkage

Game information:

Motown @ The City By the Bay.

Kickoff: 4:05 p.m. EDT

Stadium: Candlestick Park

Television: WJBK-TV FOX Ch.2

Play-By-Play: Dick Stockton

Color: Brian Baldinger

Sideline: Brian Billick & Laura Omkin

Lions Radio Network Flagship: 97.1 FM The Ticket (WXYT-FM)

Play-By-Play: Dan Miller

Color: Jim Brandstatter

Sidelines: Tony Ortiz

2008 Records: Lions, 0-2; 49ers, 1-1

We all know the plot line being pushed for this game, Mike Martz vs. anyone wearing Honolulu blue and silver. But there's more than just Martz vs. the world to talk about.

At FoxSports.com, John Czarnecki is straight and to the point about what's at stake.

Whoever loses this game, Rod Marinelli or Mike Nolan, immediately goes on the hot seat.

Actually, Marinelli is already on the proverbial hot seat with the fans and media. Going 1-9 in your last 10 games tends to do that to a coach's standing. Unfortunately, the 2 opinions that actually count, the porn 'stached goon's and the old man's, apparently don't feel the same way.

This morning on FOX 2's pregame, Killer Kowalski said as much, claiming he didn't see any sort of change in status regarding Millen and Marinelli on the horizon, no matter what the record ends up in '09. Way to be a buzzkill, Killer.

At the News, the semi-retired Mike O'Hara gives us his pick to win...the Lions. Why?

More than anything, it's time for the Lions to step up and play a good game. That's my logic.

Faulty logic.

Sure, the Lions may win, but "just because" isn't exactly a compelling argument. Saying the Lions are going to win because they are, well, due, is the equivalent of saying Millen will have a great draft next year because he blew the previous 7. The Lions tend to break the law of averages.

This isn't exactly a football story, but as it takes a look at the (declining) Ford fortune, and doesn't like what it sees, it's worth reading.

The Truth About Cars thinks Bill Jr, the likely owner of the Lions once his father passes, is having "liquidity problems."

While the Ford family isn’t down to its last $100m, the automaker’s plummeting fortunes must be more than slightly worrying. The last time Fortune checked-in with family’s finances– April ‘07– they’d lost a cool (if paper) $581m.

They continue...

Billy may have something of a liquidity problem. Reuters reports that he’s unloaded one million shares of Ford common stock [not class B] to pay down debt that he took on to exercise options and acquire stock in the automaker in 2004 and 2005.

As the auto industry continues to tank, and the Lions' fortunes being tied inexorably to the FoMoCo fortune, this bears watching. Obviously, the Ford family is far from broke, and won't be anytime soon. But the worse the economy gets, the worse off the Fords, and thus the Detroit Lions, will be.

Enough economic gloom and doom...

The 5 thing's I'm watching, Dammit!

(Why 5? I don't need to give you a reason, just like William Clay Ford doesn't give you one for keeping Millen and Marinelli!)

Will Jon Pickna Shitna Kitna throw another hissy fit?

In week one, Kitna did his damnedest to embarrass Detroit's coaches with his histrionics on the sidelines over personnel issues. Week two, after his last pick, Kitna walked off the field while the play was still live. The Killer even wrote an entire article about Kitna's attitude during the Packers loss, claiming he may still be "seething" over the Lions' change in offensive philosophy.

No matter what's eating at Kitna, for the Lions to have ANY chance of turning the season around, the God Warrior has to play much better. Better than he may be capable, at least over the long haul, to be honest.

Will Mike Martz pour salt into the the gaping wound that is the Lions' defense?

We all know Martz is batshit crazy insane, but he's a savant when it comes to running an NFL offense. You have to think he has something up his sleeve for today, as nothing would make the mad scientist happier than punishing the Lions.

Hell, Martz may even turn the tables, and just run Frank Gore, by far the running back Detroit has faced so far, down their throats. If the Lions' front 7 couldn't stop Michael Turner (who's having a monster game today against the Chiefs, one of of the Lions' main competitors for the title of "NFL's worst team"), do they have any real shot at shutting down Gore

Will the elevation of Gosder Cherilus to the first team help an offensive line that's been offensive to the senses?

Anyone who could help what's been a fairly anemic running game, and protect the bible thumper, has to help the Lions. Which leads us to one this season's biggest mysteries. Why it took 6 quarters into the regular season for the Lions' coaches to determine Cherilus was their BEST OFFENSIVE TACKLE?! At least, better than George Foster, who has yet to see a yellow flag he didn't like?

Marinelli's treatment of Cherilus and Jordon Dizon has been frustrating as all Hell. His handling of the young players is inconsistent at best, and outright fireable at worst. Marinelli claims he's trying to build a "foundation." Yet he totally contradicts himself by continuing to play older players of questionable talent who won't even be Lions in a season or two. Typical doubletalk from a position coach who's so far in over his head, he's looking up at the Mariana Trench.

Will the emergence of Calvin Johnson as this era's Barry Sanders continue?

I don't see why not, as Megatron has become Kitna's 1st, 2nd and 3rd option in the passing game. Considering Johnson causes a huge mismatch with every corner in football, even if it pisses off Roy Williams, not giving him double digit touches is complete and utter stupidity.

What happens if the Lions lose?

If the Lions go into the bye week 0-3 while playing like the worst team in football, the shit is going to hit the fan. The the next 2 weeks will be a living Hell for Marinelli, Millen and the rest of the Lions franchise. The fanbase will be in a full on revolt (again) and the media will be in full attack mode (again). At least it would make Monday's press confrence an entertaining listen!

Just a reminder: I'll only be able to live blog the 1st half, as I have to blow this pop stand for a family committment at 6 PM. The DVR (those things are the BEST invention ever) will recording the game, and I'll do my best to get my thoughts up about the events of the 2nd half before the end of the night.

And thanks for everyone's kind words letting me know how much you enjoy the live blogs. It makes my Sunday meltdowns worthwhile!

See you in the live blog!

10 things you know I know I know, you know?

I'm thinking this "10 things" bit may become an every Friday thing. We shall see...

10. I found it funny, and pretty damn telling, when Deadspin touched on Matt Millen's clueless vote of confidence of the current coaching regime in today's Blogdome, they linked to another "national" site (AOL's Fanhouse) rather than get the local view from the numerous Detroit blogs who also commented upon the ongoing lunacy in Allen Park.

It's just another reason why I find myself reading Deadspin less and less as of late. It's not because Will Leitch left, as my issues with Gawker's site go back for quite some time. I rarely visit the Deadspin proper anymore, preferring to check out posts in my RSS reader of choice. The site design leaves something to be desired. Don't even get me going on their commenters. For every smart, witty and funny comment, there's a dozen more that aren't worth the time it took to type them out. If I want forced, badly done, pop culture referenced humor, I'll read the Sports Guy instead. (Speaking of which, what has happened ESPN.com's Page 2? It used to be a daily must read. Now? I can't remember the last time I went there to read anything. What a damn shame.)

In fact, what I just said about sports blogging's 800 pound gorilla, also goes for the Fanhouse, With Leather, Sports by Brooks, The Sporting Blog, The Big Lead, the usual suspects. (Though I find TBL the best read of the bunch) The problem with these blogs is that they all write about the same damn thing. If I've seen a specific story on one of of the big sites, you'll see it, much sooner than later, on ALL the big sites, with pretty much the same (snarky) opinion.

If one of them finds a "wacky" You Tube video (Often after a smaller site had dredged it up), you know the other big sites will soon post it as well. Whatever the sports blog meme of the day happens to be, all the "big" blogs write about it...endlessly. It's gotten beyond tiresome.

The big sites are much more alike than they'd ever care to admit. Which is why I find myself drawn to more sport specific blogs (Like those at Yahoo), along with city and team centric blogs. They don't feel as rote and by-the-numbers as the Deadspins of the world have become.

9. My thoughts on the Ryder Cup?  

USA! USA! USA! Beat the Euros! 

That's all I really have, as I know so little about most of the Americans playing. I mean, Boo Weekely? Boo? I'd like to make a "To Kill a Mockingbird" reference here, but it's already been done...

8. If there is a man who showed all the signs of being on the edge of batshit insane, it's Jim Leyland. He was all but mentally off the hook when dealing with the umpires in Texas. If Leyland had been given the opportunity, and gotten to within arm's length, I swear he would have cold cocked a couple of men in blue. His actions were enough to result in his getting suspended for the Cleveland series, starting tonight.

But come on, can you really blame the Marlboro Man? If you were stuck using gas cans like Kyle Farnsworth as your set up man, and Fernando Rodney as your closer, you'd be ready for a few days of forced rest too.

If anything, Leyland going postal might have been for the best. From all appearances, he was close to burning out. A 65 year old man losing his shit isn't a pretty thing...Much like this entire Tigers season.

7. Joe Dumars said he tried to make a deal this summer, but didn't get an offer he thought would make the team better. I can understand why he didn't make a deal. The Pistons, as currently constructed, are a playoff team. Blowing up the Pistons for the sake of just blowing them up might have felt good, but accomplished little. So I don't blame Joe D for standing pat. Unfortunately, naming Michael Curry head coach and adding Kwame Brown to the front line aren't moves that have me believing this coming season will be any different than last.

I do like the idea being floated by Curry of moving Antonio McDyess back to 6th man status, where he's more comfortable and won't be the 5th offensive option, thus opening up competition between Jason Maxiell, Amir Johnson, and Brown for the vacated starting spot. This might light a bit of a spark with both units, which has been long needed.

But is shuffling the depth chart enough to get the Pistons over the Eastern Conference hump? No. I can't see this team, good as they are, going any further than the conference finals again.

6. Michigan State is going to KILL Notre Dame. Sparty will spank the gimpy kneed Charlie Weis silly. If I'm Mark Dantonio, I give Javon Ringer the ball 35 times, essentially telling ND "You and I both know you can't stop him." If Sam McGuffie can rip through ND for 170+ total yards, Ringer is going to run...well, rings, around the overrated Domers.

5. The man who tried his damnedest to kill my love for Red Wings hockey in the 70's, Ned Harkness, passed away earlier today. I'm sure Harkness was a nice man, and loved the game of hockey. But he never should have been let anywhere near an NHL franchise, God forbid run one. The "Darkness with Harkness" era scarred my young and developing hockey psyche almost irreparably.

May you rest in peace, Ned. But God dammit, did you have to completely fuck over the Red Wings for my 11 year old self?! I mean, really. You took what was a decent team, and screwed it over so badly in 3 years, the rest of the decade, and much of the following, was ruined. Your destruction of the Red Wings was Millen-esque.

But hey, I'll let bygones be bygones.

4. I like love the fact there is a football game almost every night of the week on ESPN. (Even if it does seem like it's always Louisville or Colorado State playing...) But please keep it exclusively college football, OK? There's something about the 4 Letter broadcasting a regular season high school football game nationwide that I find extremely disturbing. It just feels wrong to me.

ESPN getting their sticky, grubby fingers into the high school pie can only lead to bad things. High school football belongs on Friday nights, being covered by local media. Period. Exclamation point!

3. Think West Virginia is happy with Bill Stewart now? What in the HELL was he thinking last night? Stewart is so far in over his head as a coach, he makes Marty Moronwhig look capable.

All that kept running through my mind as I watched Stewart and WVU totally butcher the final seconds of a game they ended up losing was, "It couldn't happen to a more deserving fanbase bunch of lunatics." RichRod had to have a little extra skip in his step this morning.

2. I know it's been only one start, and it may be the giddiness of watching a Tiger pitcher who could do the unthinkable...throw strikes...talking. But you think Freddy Garcia would look good in the Detroit rotation in 2009? So do I. Make it happen, Double D.

1. A quick announcement. I plan on live blogging the Detroit Lions, as usual, this Sunday. But I'll probably only be able to do the 1st half, as I have an early evening family commitment. It figures the Lions would happen to be on the west coast the one and only Sunday night I have something going on.

It's killing me, as my Sunday afternoon meltdowns are getting more and more traffic by the week. People really seem to enjoy them. Not the Lions, mind you, but the live blogs.

Anyway, I'll live blog as long as possible on Sunday, and have the DVR record the 2nd half. I'll do my best to not hear the score while I'm out, and then do my blogging thing a little later in the evening. Or something like that...

FYI: TV alert!

No, not me. But someone you likely read on a daily basis is scheduled to be in a few hours.

Kurt, of Mack Avenue Tigers fame, and a member of the 4th Estate who actually gets "it," may be on the Fox Sports Network tonight at halftime of the Northern Michigan - Michigan Tech game. CBS College sports is originating it, FSN is picking up the feed for the first D2 football game they have ever televised.

As per Kurt...

Northern Michigan and Michigan Tech will be on at 8 p.m. Thursday, if you want to check that out. It should be a pretty high scoring, exciting game with a decent crowd, at the big wooden dome down the block from me. I'll be there as a writer -- I think they should interview the local columnist, personally. But it could be interesting, for a few minutes anyway.

The local columnist being our man at Mack Avenue Tigers. I'm looking forward to reading his take on what should be a big night for the Yoopers.

I'll be watching, and so should you. We support our own...

Matt Millen speaks to the media, still delusional as ever

Matt Millen crawled out from underneath the rock he's been hinding since training camp started, and broke his season long silence by speaking to the media suring today's practice.

After reading what the dumb ass had to say, I wish Millen never would have spoken...

Mlive has transcribed much of what the bane of my existence said to the Lions beat guys. My thoughts follow...

On the state of the team:

Millen: "I believe in the guy I hired (head coach Rod Marinelli) and I believe in the staff we put together and I believe in the players we have on the field. If you want to point a finger at anybody for that stuff, it's on me. I'm fine with that because I believe in what's out there."

Big Al: Millen also believes in the stability of the US financial markets, underpants gnomes, "The Office" is a "for reals" documentary, Britney Spears is talented, the New Kids on the Block reunion was a good idea, Rod Marinelli knows what he's doing, Cedric Benson was worth working out and is totally confused by the fact Goofy walks upright and can speak proper English, while Pluto, apparently of the same species, acts like a "for reals" dog.

So given those examples, of course Millen still believes in Marinelli's staff and the roster they've put together. Morons have beliefs too.

By the way, I'll give you one guess at to just what finger I'm using to point at Millen...

BANGBANGBANG

In retrospect, did you have too much confidence in the ability of the defensive players:

Millen: "Do what you're coached to do and play to your capability and we'll be fine. I still believe that and that's not going to change."

Big Al: They'll be fine?! FINE?! Millen and his oh so crazy beliefs!

If you go by the overall record since Marinelli became head coach, then you have to think Millen is beyond clueless. I believe the coaching must be awful, and no one is playing to their capabilities. Why? The Lions are 0-2 this season, and 12-24 overall, since Marinelli took over. Nothing has, or is going to, change.

BANGBANGBANG

About irate fans after the team's 0-2 start:

"I guess I wouldn't be surprised, I really haven't thought about it. I'm more concerned with this (pointing to the workout) than any other part.

"That's why I wasn't going to say anything in the preseason - come out and look for yourself. You'll like what you see because what you're seeing is the foundation that you have to have in any successful program. It's the way things are being done, the practice habits, all of that stuff. That hasn't left."

Big Al: If Millen EVER thought about the fans, had our best interests at heart, he would have resigned 4 years ago. In his case, ignorance is bliss.

To be honest, instead of pointing to the workout, I'm surprised Millen didn't point to his wallet. Why else would the square headed, porn 'stached moronic goon continue to shrug off the heaping amounts of abuse he takes from the fans and media? No one in their right mind would stay for so long, in a job they are so inept at, unless the massive piles of money made it worth the grief. Millen has to be laughing all the way to the bank.

What fucking foundation? The foundation is made of SAND! The team Millen and Marinelli have put together is one of the least talented, and even worse, one of the OLDEST, in the NFL!

If Millen considers the current Lions' clusterfuck a successful program, I'm scared to death to find out what he would consider an unsuccessful program. He's the type who would say an 0-16 season is only a speed bump on the way to respectability.

BANGBANGBANG

Has it taken too long to build that foundation?

"Since I've been here, sure. Obviously. Like I said earlier, I'm the one who hired the guy and I believe in him 100 percent, I believe in him now more than I ever have. That guy is exactly what you need.''

Big Al: I'm...I'm...Uh...WHAT? Holy Mother of God, Millen can't believe the bullshit he's spewing here...Can he?

How can anyone with even a few firing synapses left in their pea brains believe in Marinelli more than EVER? Does Millen even watch the fucking games?! Has he ever looked at the record? How about the scoreboard?

What a condescending asshole.

BANGBANGBANG

Why?

"Because he's consistent. You see that and it's not changing. He's a straight line. He'll do what he believes is the right thing to do and what he's doing is the right way. The players we picked we did for a reason, the same reasons still exist. The staff is in place for the same exact reason.

"That's why I'm fine with it. What we're doing is the right thing to do.''

Big Al: I actually agree with the porn 'stached goon. Really! Consistent and not changing? Damn straight. Consistently losing, and I don't see it ever changing.

As for the reasons Marinelli picked his players? I have a pretty good idea what they were...

• They played for Tampa Bay.
• They were drafted by Tampa Bay.
• They once worked out for Tampa Bay.
• They happened to travel through Tampa Bay.
• They have flown over Tampa Bay.
• They can point out Tampa Bay on a map.

BANGBANGBANG

Have you talked to owner William Clay Ford:

"Yeah, sure, all the time. You'd have to talk to him, but here's my take - he has high expectations. When you have high expectations, you also get frustrated, too, and there are answers you want, too."

I'm sure Millen talks to Ford often, and tells him exactly what he wants to hear.

• Sure thing, Mr. Ford. The team is making money.
• God's honest truth! We're winning, and winning big.
• No Mr. Ford, you can't watch. I'm telling you all you need to know, anyway.
• Would I lie?
• Did you hear the one about the Pope, the President and Bin Laden? They all walk into a whorehouse...

BANGBANGBANG

Is he getting the same answers as the media, that the foundation is there?

Millen: "There's a little more detail. He asks all the right questions."

Big Al: I happen to have a list of the detailed questions the octogenarian Ford has asked Millen recently:

• Who are you?
• Do I know you?
• Who am I?
• Where am I?
• Huh?
• I really own a football team?
• What's football?
• Who are you again?
• What?
• Can you change my diaper?
• Could you empty my drool cup too?
• You want me to sign you to ANOTHER contract?
• What's a contract?
• Can I go back to sleep now?

Hey, senility is the only reason which would explain why Millen is still employed...

BANGBANGBANG

By the way, the banging noise you've heard is me beating my head against my desktop in frustration. It also helps me to forget why I remain a fan of the Detroit Lions.

BANGBANGBANG

My conclusion? We're doomed.

BANGBANGBANG

Put away the pitchforks and torches, people. Cedric Benson is NOT a Lion

Calm down everyone. The Lions are NOT signing a running back. I repeat, the Lions are NOT signing a running back...Not yet, anyway. I'm sure you've heard by now, and lowered your own defenses, but here's what the Freep had to say...

Benson visited the Lions on Tuesday along with former NFL most valuable player Shaun Alexander and Vernand Morency. But the Lions were just looking at running backs in case they need one in the future.

The Lions often do their homework on free agents on Tuesday, the players' off day.

Between you and me, when reports claiming the Detroit Lions were on the verge of signing a running back were running rampant, specifically the bust known as Cedric Benson, I was ready to raise the Lions Alert Level.

I know what your next question is going to be? Not "There's a Lions Alert Level?"  I'm sure you were going to ask, "Raise it to what, dumbass?"

Pray the Lions Alert Level NEVER reaches Rush's "Moving Pictures."

As someone who believes deeply in the Phil Ken Sebben alert system, I was on the verge of raising the Lions Alert Level from "Blackwatch Plaid" to the cover of Rush's seminal album "Moving Pictures." But as it turned out, there's no need. So we're back to "Blackwatch Plaid." (Hey, the Lions are 0-2, and sinking. I have to keep the alert level heightened!)

If you see this, it means the Lions didn't screw the pooch...

There you have it. They were window shopping, doing their due diligence. No running backs will be joining the Lions' roster today.

Phil Ken Sebben would be relieved. I know I am.

Ha HA! Loins...I mean, Lions!

The Detroit Lions look to make personnel moves...that make no sense whatsoever!

The Lions continue to stumble along like a drunk on a weekend bender. The latest news to come out of Allen Park is a total head scratcher...

Former Pro Bowler Shaun Alexander was one of several running backs to meet with the Lions on Tuesday. Alexander, a former Seattle Seahawks star, worked out for the coaching staff at the team's practice facility.

Former Chicago Bears runner Cedric Benson, a first-round draft pick in 2005, and free-agent Vernand Morency, who previously played for the Packers, were also in town to meet with coaches and front office personnel.

I have a one word question: WHY?

The interest in signing a running back makes absolutely NO SENSE. None whatsoever. Even so, odd as this may be, let's look at the candidates:

Benson: Almost as big a 1st round draft bust as Mike Williams. Chicago couldn't unload him fast enough. Benson's out of football for a reason...He SUCKS! (Listen! Do you hear that? It's the sound of laughter coming out of Chi-town)

Alexander: Rudi Johnson redux. Like Rudi, Alexander is a once great back who is just as washed up. Overuse and injury left has the former Seahawk a shadow of the All-Pro he once was. Alexander's out of football for a reason...He's old and busted!

Morency: Who the fuck is this? Honestly, I have no idea. After looking Morency up, his stats SCREAM "journeyman!" If the Lions need a career backup so badly, then why not bring back Artose Pinner? At least he's a journeyman who already knows the offense. Morency is out of football for a reason...His type of player is dime a dozen.

Even stranger, the article states there's word out of Texas the Lions are on the verge of signing one of those backs. Which one?

According to Austin, Texas, city council member Mike Martinez, Benson is about to sign with the Lions.

Another one word question: WHY?

Out of the 3 backs brought in, why on earth would the Lions want, of all people, BENSON? In Chicago, "BENSON" is considered a 4 letter word. Signing a running back would be bad enough. But signing Cedric Benson? That's one of the seven signs of the fast oncoming apocalypse, Detroit Lions style.

Rather than sign another skill position player, I have a couple suggestions for the Lions.

First off, cut a few of the 35 defensive linemen you kept on the roster, to give you a little more roster flexibility. Then look for help at more than one position, not just running back...which isn't in all that bad of shape! Why not look at offensive linemen? Maybe at a run stopping linebacker? How about a proven QB, say Daunte Culpepper? All of these are positions of much greater need.

But the Lions are instead working out running backs, despite drafting Kevin Smith in the 3rd round, who's shown a fair amount of potential. What does this say to him? It says the Lions think they can do better, and wasted a 3rd round pick, while Smith must be thinking he did something wrong. (Actually, the kid did do something wrong. Terribly wrong. He agreed to a contract with the Lions)

Here's the Lions' thinking in a nutshell: "We have some gaping roster holes, we could really use a linebacker and an offensive lineman. I know, let's sign another running back! That will fix EVERYTHING!"

This is Lions' logic at it's most clueless and frustrating. I gave up trying to figure out the Lions' thought processes a long time ago, as it's impossible to figure out a front office that should be considered clinically insane.

Why Detroit sports talk radio blows: Reason #399

I'm going to paraphrase a pair of ridiculous statements I heard Pat Caputo spout within a few minutes of each other on WXYT tonight.

Caputo on the Detroit Lions: You can't fire Rod Marinelli yet, as the Lions would have to rebuild again from scratch.

Caputo on the Michigan Wolverines: If Rich Rodriguez only wins 5 games, he should be fired!

One word came to mind: WHAT?!

The conundrum of a supposedly knowledgeable sports talk radio host so brazenly speaking out of both sides of his mouth caused my head to explode. Seriously, brain matter shot out my ears...

This picture could not reflect my feelings any more succinctly:

I only ask of one thing from sports talk hosts. Think before you speak. That's all. I don't believe that's too much to ask. I suggest Caputo and his ilk listen to the advice of a very wise man...Biff Tannen.

Think, McFly! Think!

Truer words have never been spoken. The world, and especially sports talk radio, would be a much better place if we would only listen to Biff.

Stephen A. Smith thinks Millen is clueless. In other news, the sun rises in the east...

The local media is making a huge fuss over Screamin' Stephen A. Smith's verbal takedown of the bane of my existence, Matt Millen, on Cold Pizza ESPN's Morning Afterthought First Take. Detroit sports talk radio, always desperate for any sort of remotely controversial Lions fodder, led their shows off talking about Smith's commentary. The Freep, hopping on a bandwagon so full and overflowing, an anorexic model wouldn't fit, even has a transcript...

"I like what I'm seeing from Aaron Rodgers. Right now he's playing just as good as any quarterback in the NFL.

The key thing for me is, remember he was playing against the Lions.

This team is just atrocious and Matt Millen is a walking football atrocity. He is the worst executive, in my opinion, in the history of team sports.

He is flat-out garbage. The fact that he is allowed to have a job, the fact that he is allowed to walk though the streets of Detroit to enter Ford Field is an abomination in and of itself.

There should be barricades keeping this man out of the city limits. He should not be allowed to be employed by the Detroit Lions. He is a disgrace of the highest order.

And that's why you can't take anything Aaron Rodgers did yesterday seriously, because we are talking about the Detroit Lions, who are absolute garbage...

(Millen) is clueless, he doesn't know what he's doing. Until they get rid of him, we're going to be saying that a whole bunch of people look good when they play the Detroit Lions."

Well...Whoop-de-fucking-doo! Screamin' A. thinks Millen's a maroon who shouldn't be employed as a washroom attendant, let alone as an NFL GM. Who has the brains of a baboon and all the common sense of a...well, baboon. Thanks for stating the unbelievably obvious, Steve. Tell us something we don't know, railed against and lived through.

Screamin' A: "MILLEN IS AN ATROCITY!"

Detroit fans: "No shit."

We all know Millen is a moron. We all know Millen has not a clue as to running an NFL franchise...if you can even call the Detroit Lions one. We all know Millen needs to be shitcanned. We all know the Millen era has been one, long, unfunny, pain filled, joke. We know, we know, we know, we know!

We all know one other incontrovertible truth.

We all know William Clay Ford won't do a God damn thing.

The sudden burst of MSM interest in Matt Millen's status because an overrated and annoying member of the 4 Letter's "The louder I yell, the more important my point" crew is hilarious. The blogosphere has been screamin' for Millen's head on a pike/pole/platter for YEARS. Hell, the local MSM has as well. This is nothing more than the same shit, different day. Period.

This is no big deal, despite local sports talk radio and fishwraps portraying it as such. Millen getting roasted on ESPN? Big whoop. Next.

Millen getting the ziggy? Now THAT would get my attention...and give me hope the Lions might...just might...win sometime in my lifetime.

Till that happens, the 4 Letter's morons spewing meaningless ultimatums is nothing more than hot, useless, regurgitated, air. Something Smith and his ilk specialize in. Think the Goodyear blimp is full of Helium? Not true. It's actually full of Screamin' A's sound bites.

"Powered by Screamin' A."

TWFE talks to William Clay Ford: 3 yards and a cloud of PFFFT!

It's been quite some time since TWFE last interviewed the owner of the Detroit Lions, William Clay Ford. With the Lions in the news for all the wrong reasons, I had the rare opportunity to chat with Mr. Ford recently. What follows is the transcript of our discussion.

The Wayne Fontes Experience: Hello? Mr. Ford? HELLO?!

William Clay Ford: HACK...ZZZZZZZZZ...Must bust the union...ZZZZZZZ.

TWFE: Uh, Mr. Ford? You awake?

WCF: SNORT...ZZZZZZZ...Archduke Ferdinand must die...ZZZZZZZZ.

TWFE: Mr. Ford? Hello? You alive?

WCF: DROOL...ZZZZZZZ...The Kennedy's are socialist bastards....ZZZZZZZZZ.

TWFE: Mr. Ford, the Dow dropped 504 points today!

WCF: ZZZZZZZZZZZ...THE WHAT? THE WHO? The Dow? The HELL you say? Jeeves, crank up the Flivver! Bring me my blunderbuss! We need to kill my stockbroker, pronto!

TWFE: Uh, the stock exchange has been closed for a few hours, sir. I'm sure he's left for the day. I'd like to ask you a few questions, can you kill him tomorrow?

WCF: Closed? But I'm a FORD, GODDAMMIT! I'm part owner of one of the most powerful companies in the world!

TWFE: Sir, Ford Motor is losing cash and market share hand over fist, and might have to go to the U.S. government for a bailout.

WCF: Bullshit! We Fords would NEVER go begging to those Communists in Washington! That town's been going downhill since Roosevelt was in office!

TWFE: FDR?

WCF: Who? Of the "bend me over and call me Nancy" New Deal? Of course not, boy! That other Socialist Roosevelt, Teddy! I'll show him some rough riders...Anyway, we'll just ramp up the building of trucks and those suvvies! Stick 300 horses under the hood, and they'll FLY out of showrooms, believe you me! Who in their right mind would buy a tinker toy Jap or Kraut car? What the fuck is a Datsun? A piss ant roller skate, that's what! Who buys cars with funny ass names? I know the auto marketplace, just like I know football! I own a team, you know. JEEVES! Where's my blunderbuss?!

TWFE: Suvvies? They're called SU...Uh, sure. Whatever you say, Mr. Ford. Actually, I wanted to talk to you about your football team.  There's some problems back in Detroit.

WCF: God damn straight there's some problems in Detroit! It's full of darkies and socialists! My what?

TWFE: Your football team, the Detroit Lions. I wanted to ask you about them.

WCF: Well, why didn't you say so, boy! How's my boy Russ Thomas? Russ is so damn cheap, he could squeeze blood from a bumblebee nickel. He's my kind of GM! He isn't signing any of those commies or Yippies or Black Panthers, is he? HACK.

TWFE: No, sir. Matt Millen...Uh, I mean Russ...hasn't signed any White or Black Panthers to my knowledge.

WCF: JEEVES! SCOTCH ME! He better not have, or there's Hell to pay! I'd have to talk to Rozelle, you know, set things right. How is Pete, boy?

TWFE: Dead.

WCF: Good! Never liked Rozelle's commie ideas, anyway! Revenue sharing this, and parity that! Merge with the AFL he says! It's the future, he says! Bullshit! I don't want anything to do with those pass happy sons a bitches! HORK. I tried to buy NBC, just so I could yank those football anarchists off the air! Fucking GE got 30 Rock instead. The forward pass...PFFFT! Football is meant to be played 3 yards at a time, boy. A cloud of dust, and all. Who said that?

TWFE: Woody Hayes?

WCF: You know your football almost as well as I do, boy! Ol' Woodrow's a great American, yes sir! Took no shit from nobody, especially that Bo Shemmybencher character at that Communist enclave in Ann Arbor. How is Woody?

TWFE: Dead.

WCF: What about Shemmybencher?

TWFE: Dead.

WCF: Boy, you depress me. What the Hell did you want, anyway?

TWFE: To ask you about the Lions. You know, the Detroit Lions?

WCF: What about the Lions? I own them, you know. Make me a shit ton of cash, boy. A shit ton. JEEVES! My blunderbuss and my scotch! Chop, chop! And bring me a CUBAN! SNORT.

TWFE: Cigar?

WCF: Did I SAY cigar? Damn, can't find good help these days, boy. That's why I'm glad I have my boy Russ back in Detroit! He writes the best contracts. Did I tell you to get free agency, Ron Jessie had to give me his first born, his right nut and a blow job, just because Russ put that in his contract? Brilliant!

TWFE: But what about the team today? They are 0-2, and are the worst team in the NFL.

WCF: And? Is Tiger Stadium filled up every Sunday? JEEVES! Make it a NICARAGUAN instead!

TWFE: Cigar...Nevermind. They play at Ford Fiel...Um, the last 7 years have been sellouts, Mr. Ford.

WCF: You know how much my football team is worth?

TWFE: Forbes says it's north of $800 million.

WCF: You know how much I paid for the Lions? HUUUUR.

TWFE? $4 million?

WCF: HACK! I paid that much? What was I thinking? Must have been the cheap scotch. Who knew? Anyway, that's an ROI of...of..Hell, that's a shit ton of cash, boy! JEEVES! I'm tired of talking! Get this...this..who the Hell are you, anyway?

TWFE: I'm a Detroit blogger, Mr. Ford.

WCF: A bogger? What the fuck is that?

TWFE: I write for the internet.

WCF: The inter-what? You're making this shit up! JEEVES! Get me my blunderbuss so I can get Mr.Bogger of the inter-what out of my house! HUUURK. Scotch, dammit! And a JAMAICAN!

TWFE: I'll see myself out, sir. No need to get up...or use your gun.

WCF: JEEVES! I need my...my...my...ZZZZZZ...Daddy said Hitler was right...ZZZZZ...DROOL.

Green Bay Packers at Detroit Lions: The aftermath

Sorry for the delay in wrapping up the debacle of the week, as I had a few personal things to tend to today. But I digress...

Let's, as Rod Marinelli is overly fond of saying, look at the (figurative) tape.

Both WDFN and WXYT were overwhelmed with a firestorm of calls from pissed off fans wanting someone's head to roll. Be it Shitna Pickna Kitna, Millen and especially Rod Marinelli, the rumbles to offer a sacrifice to the NFL Gods are quickly growing louder. The natives are restless. 51 years of suck tends to do that to a fanbase...

At 0-2, and his team playing like they've fully earned the "worst team in the NFL"  tag, Rod Marinelli is in a pressure cooker...mostly of his own making.

Jamie Samuelson takes Marinelli to task for his press conference mantra of "it's on me."

I hear time and time again that a lot of people think that Marinelli is a good coach. And he might be. But when he was first hired here in Detroit, he made it clear that he believed in video tape. What someone says was irrelevant, said Rod, what matter is what shows up on the tape. So by using his very own standard, I have seen nothing to indicate to me that Marinelli is a good coach.

I have to say, I totally agree. Marinelli's record speaks for itself. So do the failed personnel moves, the stubborn refusal to consider another QB and the scapegoating of coordinators/players/anyone but himself.

Fans quickly bought into Marinelli's tough guy shtick when he was hired, despite the fact he had never been a coordinator or head coach at any level. After the total confusion of Marty Moronwhig, and the oily slickness of Steve Mariucci, his straightforward "I'm a football coach" demeanor was exactly what the fanbase wanted to hear. Not many of those converts are left. They've been "watching the tape" too.

The Detroit Lions Weblog thinks Marinelli is living on borrowed time, much in thanks to his clinging to what got him the Lions' job in the first place, the Tampa Too defense.

The most damning critique of this coaching staff, and it’s choice of defensive scheme, is that the Lions clear personnel strength is on offense. They spent the whole off-season hoping to bolster it with a better rushing attack.The performance of the defense has severely damaged the Lions offense for two season’s now. The Lions have had to become one-dimensional on offense, as a result. The refusal to adjust and adapt, will surely mark Rod Marinelli’s failed tenure, and eventual termination, as Lions head coach.

I see no way in Hell Marinelli abandons the Tampa Too. He has an unshakable, and possibly misguided, faith in that scheme. It's what Marinelli knows best, it's what his coaching staff knows best, it's supposedly the defense his personnel is best suited for, so he's going to either go down in flames or...well, there is no other result at this point. Marinelli is going down in flames.

Eno, always the most level headed blogger around, doesn't think Marinelli is on the hot seat...yet. Why?

But what's unacceptable to the rest of the NFL isn't necessarily what's unacceptable in Detroit -- clearly.

Bingo! As long as Matt Millen remains in the Fords' good graces, and Marinelli remains in Millen's, why expect anything more than the status quo? If ownership is fine with the situation, and we've heard nothing to the contrary, why expect anything to change? That's how William Clay Ford runs his team. Totally hands off, and without much of a clue.

The God Warrior, Jon Shitna Pickna Kitna, isn't getting the love, either. If there is a change to be made, it's going to be at QB, according to the semi-retired Mike O'Hara.

Marinelli has been wedded to Kitna as his quarterback. Kitna has responded as a Marinelli loyalist and team leader. Those are good traits, but the season is slipping away.

If Marinelli makes a change, it will be either to Dan Orlovsky, seldom used as a backup in four seasons with the Lions, or Drew Stanton, the second-round draft pick from Michigan State who showed promise in the exhibition season.

Does Marinelli make a change? And if so, when?

Changing quarterbacks isn't necessarily panicking, any more than changing cornerbacks is panicking. It's part of coaching.

Panicking? No. Realizing what the inevitable result will be if something doesn't change soon, and the easiest thing to change is the quarterback? Yes.

The logical jumping off point for a new Lions QB, as O'Hara mentions, is after the Niners game, as Detroit has a bye week once Mike Martz takes revenge on his former team. Be it Dan Orlovsky or Drew Stanton, I'm not going to venture a guess (But if I HAD to guess? Orlovsky). Both have more cons than pros at this point of their careers, but their biggest pro is an overwhelming one. They aren't Jon Shitna Pickna Kitna.

Bob Wojnowski thinks there won't be a change under center because of the backup situation. The Lions honestly don't know what they have behind Shitna Pickna Kitna.

Kitna is the quarterback by default now. That's sad to say, but it's the truth. Because Matt Millen has butchered the roster so badly, Rod Marinelli has no suitable option in unproven backups Dan Orlovsky and Drew Stanton.

At the end of this one, Kitna was the problem. He isn't the whole problem -- did you see that defense get shredded again? -- but he's the most visible, directing an offense that's erratic, at best. The Lions don't have many good players and Kitna simply isn't good enough to compensate.

Marinelli would disagree about his hand picked QB not being good enough. He said as much during today's presser, when pressured on making a change.

In his 12-year career, Kitna has now thrown 153 touchdown passes and 150 interceptions. Marinelli was asked if Kitna's penchant for turnovers could be corrected.

"It's got to be correctable. It's about concentration and it's not just one guy,'' Marinelli said.

Sure it can be corrected. There's also a Santa Claus, NFL wide receivers aren't divas, "Hole in the Wall" is Emmy worthy TV, "Brownie" really did do a heck of a job during Hurricane Katrina and I'm going to win a Pulitzer Prize.

A Tiger can't change his stripes and this particular 36 year old Lion QB cannot stop treating the ball like it's radioactive hot potato, to be disposed of in any way possible. If Shitna Pickna Kitna's propensity to cough the ball up could have been corrected, he'd still be QB of the Bengals or Seahawks, both of whom thought they could find better, and did.

Loyalty is one thing. Loyalty to the point of being unable to see the blatantly obvious is another. Marinelli has crossed the line, from being loyal, to utterly fucking clueless. His misguided faith in Shitna Pickna Kitna may ultimately be his undoing.

Long-time commenter and longer-time Lions fan BrianDTW sums up the whole damn mess in the comments with one line.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me 51 times...

...makes you a Detroit Lions fan. May God have mercy on your soul.