Wednesday, September 24, 2008

It's over. It's all over. Millen is no more.

I never thought it would happen. Never. Not in my wildest, wettest dreams.

The man I've long called a porn 'stached goon, a moron and the bane of my existence, the worst general manager in sports history, the most hated man in Detroit, Matt Millen, is no longer running the Lions.

My first thoughts? I'm not a religious man, but...

THANK YOU, LORD! THERE IS A GOD!


My second?

IF HE KNEW THIS WOULD BE THE RESULT, WHY DIDN'T BILL FORD JR DROP THE "I'D FIRE HIM" BOMB IN PUBLIC 4 YEARS AGO? WHY? WHY? WHY?

My third?

If that same God I thanked is a vengeful God, I hope Millen gets put through the same Hell he put us fans though these past 8 years. An eye for an eye, I always say.

Now that the Millen era is finally over, I have to reiterate just how disgustingly bad Millen was as a GM. I wrote the following over a year ago. I feel the need to reprint why is Millen hated with such burning, scathing, all-encompassing rage by the long suffering Detroit Lions fanbase...

Millen is historically bad. Legendarily bad. The sort of bad that will be talked about for generations. When you look up bad in the encyclopedia, you'll see Millen's picture. Millen will be the comparison used when talking about how low a GM can take a franchise. Millen is so bad, that no other GM will ever be allowed to surpass Millen's ineptness, as they would have been canned long before they could do Millen-esque damage to a franchise.

That's why Millen is the most hated man in Detroit.

As of Wednesday, September 24, 2008, Matt Millen is history...literally and figuratively.

More later...

Edit 11:30 AM: WDFN, which has been on fire this morning, is reporting there a rumors of a 12:15 PM presser at the Lions' Allen Park HQ. COO Tom Lewand and assistant GM Martin Mayhew are expected to be taking over duties from the porn 'stached goon. 

I'm not exactly thrilled by the news of Lewand having more responsibilities, as he's not a "football" guy, but a money man. He's the Lions' version of Pistons owner Bill Davidson's right hand man, Tom Wilson (We all knew how badly it went when Wilson had more say in basketball issues). But Mayhew is a wild card, though anyone even remotely associated with Millen brings all sorts of caveats. But at this point, a blind, senile, shit flinging chimp would be an improvement over the porn 'stached goon.  

By the way, for you Michigan ex-pats, I suggest you get your asses online, and listen to either The Fan (WDFN) or The Ticket (WXYT). The mood of the callers is joyous. This is one of the best days in Detroit sports history. Seriously.

I have some other committments today, as my dad and step-mom are up from Florida, so I'm going to be away from my PC all afternoon. Please feel free to comment and email away, and I'll be back later today.

9 comments:

  1. You know, I might actually start believing in now.

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  2. DETROIT LIONS - REBUILDING SINCE 1964

    this is a SMALL victory, people. we have the momentum now, KEEP BOYCOTTING UNTIL FORD SR RELINQUISHES CONTROL of the team. keep boycotting people, trust me.

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  3. Finally! I'm not sure what the future will bring, but failure is no longer the only option.

    I enjoy your sports coverage and the mocking pictures. Keep up the good work.

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  4. My Packers-fan friends are heartbroken.

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  5. HELL YEAH! HELL FUCKING YEAH!

    Yea I know they are still the Lions and Ford Sr. still owns the team. But at least we have a little bit of hope for the future now.

    Shit, nobody could be worse than Millen so it will be better no matter what.

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  6. I never thought this day would come. I've been a Lions fan forever. When Millen came in, I didnt know what to expect. Almost 8 years later.... I never thought this day would come.

    I miss the days when we were atleast semi-competitive and not just the long-laughing joke of the NFL (I'm not sure that will change until we go back to the playoffs a few times though). I can last another few years of rebuilding.... the future looks bright indeed....

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  7. PS.... love the blog. Best find on the internet....

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  8. This would be a great day to be a criminal in Detroit. Kill somebody and tell the cops "I'm celebrating Millen getting fired." They wouldn't even give you a warning.

    I went to work and told one of the Cowboy fans there "ding dong, the bitch is dead". His immediate reaction: "They fired him?"

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