Stephen A. Smith thinks Millen is clueless. In other news, the sun rises in the east...

The local media is making a huge fuss over Screamin' Stephen A. Smith's verbal takedown of the bane of my existence, Matt Millen, on Cold Pizza ESPN's Morning Afterthought First Take. Detroit sports talk radio, always desperate for any sort of remotely controversial Lions fodder, led their shows off talking about Smith's commentary. The Freep, hopping on a bandwagon so full and overflowing, an anorexic model wouldn't fit, even has a transcript...

"I like what I'm seeing from Aaron Rodgers. Right now he's playing just as good as any quarterback in the NFL.

The key thing for me is, remember he was playing against the Lions.

This team is just atrocious and Matt Millen is a walking football atrocity. He is the worst executive, in my opinion, in the history of team sports.

He is flat-out garbage. The fact that he is allowed to have a job, the fact that he is allowed to walk though the streets of Detroit to enter Ford Field is an abomination in and of itself.

There should be barricades keeping this man out of the city limits. He should not be allowed to be employed by the Detroit Lions. He is a disgrace of the highest order.

And that's why you can't take anything Aaron Rodgers did yesterday seriously, because we are talking about the Detroit Lions, who are absolute garbage...

(Millen) is clueless, he doesn't know what he's doing. Until they get rid of him, we're going to be saying that a whole bunch of people look good when they play the Detroit Lions."

Well...Whoop-de-fucking-doo! Screamin' A. thinks Millen's a maroon who shouldn't be employed as a washroom attendant, let alone as an NFL GM. Who has the brains of a baboon and all the common sense of a...well, baboon. Thanks for stating the unbelievably obvious, Steve. Tell us something we don't know, railed against and lived through.

Screamin' A: "MILLEN IS AN ATROCITY!"

Detroit fans: "No shit."

We all know Millen is a moron. We all know Millen has not a clue as to running an NFL franchise...if you can even call the Detroit Lions one. We all know Millen needs to be shitcanned. We all know the Millen era has been one, long, unfunny, pain filled, joke. We know, we know, we know, we know!

We all know one other incontrovertible truth.

We all know William Clay Ford won't do a God damn thing.

The sudden burst of MSM interest in Matt Millen's status because an overrated and annoying member of the 4 Letter's "The louder I yell, the more important my point" crew is hilarious. The blogosphere has been screamin' for Millen's head on a pike/pole/platter for YEARS. Hell, the local MSM has as well. This is nothing more than the same shit, different day. Period.

This is no big deal, despite local sports talk radio and fishwraps portraying it as such. Millen getting roasted on ESPN? Big whoop. Next.

Millen getting the ziggy? Now THAT would get my attention...and give me hope the Lions might...just might...win sometime in my lifetime.

Till that happens, the 4 Letter's morons spewing meaningless ultimatums is nothing more than hot, useless, regurgitated, air. Something Smith and his ilk specialize in. Think the Goodyear blimp is full of Helium? Not true. It's actually full of Screamin' A's sound bites.

"Powered by Screamin' A."

Quick thoughts on...

The home run derby:

If you've ever seen the movie Clerks (and if you haven't, you should), you'll fondly remember the line from Randal that struck close to home for anyone who's ever worked a customer service gig.  

"This would be a great place to work if it wasn't for the fucking customers."

I was reminded of that quote while watching pulling my hair out during last night's home run derby. I couldn't help but say...

"This would be a fun event to watch if it wasn't for ESPN's fucking announcers."

Is there a more useless, annoying, moronic, cliche spewing pairing than Chris Berman and Joe Morgan? They make my ears bleed, which turned out to be a blessing. Having blood filled ears means you can't hear the braying Berman and the clueless Morgan.

If I hear "Back, back, back..." one more God damn time I'm...I'm...I'm going...Well, at the very least I'll write a snarky blog post.

Billy Packer getting the ziggy:

Billy Packer is no longer employed as a college basketball analyst. It should have happened 15 years ago, as Packer was long past his experation date, but beter late than never. To be honest, I thought CBS would keep his intolerable ass on the air till indefinitely. But why CBS decided upon the bland Clark Kellogg than the awesome Bill Raftery as Packer's replacement is beyond me. Considering CBS kept Packer gainfully enmployed for decades, I shouldn't be surprised they screwed up in replacing him as well.

There was once a time when Packer was tolerable. It was back in the days before cable TV was everywhere, when you were lucky to see 1 or 2 college hoop games a week. From the mid 70'd thru the early 80's, there was NBC's 3 headed monster of a hoops broadcast team, Dick Enberg, Al McGuire, and Packer. McGuire took the sharp edges off of Packer's normally bitter sounding self, and it made for a highly entertaining call. (McGuire may have been the best color guy ever, a cross between clownish Dick Vitale and and the knowledgeable yet dour Packer, getting the best of both without the schtick of neither)

Once Packer went off on his own, with no one to counter his extremely narrow view of college hoop (ACC rules, everyone else drools...especially mid-majors), he beacme the cranky, bitter, sour curmeugeon we all came to know and loathe.

Goodbye and good riddance to Billy Packer, and don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out. You will not be missed.

Why Joe Dumars hasn't made any big changes on the Pistons:

Joe D is truly stuck between a rock and a rock. He wants to make a rock the foundation style move, obtaining another team's numero uno player, preferrably via trading part of the Pistons' core. But the players he is willing to deal  (Seemingly any and everyone but Rodney Stuckey) have more value to the Pistons themselves than they do to other teams. Take them out of the Detroit system, and I'm not sure how good Billups, Rip, Prince, et all would be.

The rest of the NBA seems to believe the sum of the Pistons is greater than the actual parts. And those parts aren't worth trading a superstar for, even in a 2 for 1 blockbuster. It's sort of a Catch 22. Thanks to the philosophy of building a contending team without a true superstar, the Pistons now find themselves unable to trade for said superstar when one is now needed to win big in today's NBA.


It apears the only BIG change we'll see is the one that already happened, Michael Curry being named head coach.  It might give the Pistons a must needed jolt of attitude, but is it enough to get them over the conference finals hump? I doubt it.

Sharp as a whistle! Jesus!

I'm not one to normally pass along You Tube video mashups. But this mashup of Chris Berman exploding in pretentious anger, and Emmitt Smith's malaprops, is hysterical. When you factor in my utter disdain for all things ESPN, this clip makes me a happy man.



The reason the web exists is so brilliance like this gets mass exposure. The internet is a wonderful thing...

Can we put the Big 10 - ACC "Challenge" out to pasture?

When the Big 10-ACC Challenge rolls around every fall, the following film comes to mind.



In case you need a frame of reference...

Godzilla = ACC
Bambi = Big 10

I'm as big of a Big 10 apologist as anyone, you all know I'm an unabashed Big 10 fan. But even I can see that the ACC outclasses, out plays, out talents, out coaches, and is just outright better than the Big 10 during the "Challenge." That's going to be true 9 years out of 10, probably 10 out of 10. The Big 10 will always have a few teams that would compete, and win, in the ACC, but the Big 10 bottom feeders are guaranteed to get their asses kicked during what has turned into an annual nationally televised ass kicking fest.

Wikipedia has the ugly overall breakdown of the Big10-ACC Challenge, season by season, team by team, and it isn't pretty. The ACC is 8-0, and is well on it's way to making it 9-0, after going 5-1 so far in 2007. With 5 games left tonight, the Big 10 will be lucky to win 2 of the games.

Some seasons the Big 10 has done better than others, but the closest they've come to an overall victory is losing 5-4 in 3 of the first 4 challenges, and losing 6-5 in 2005. Actually, the Big 10 has gotten progressively worse over the years, getting blown out in 3 of the last 4 challenges, with '07 looking to be just as non-competitive.

In fact, the only Big 10 team with a winning record in the "Challenge," Michigan State, could fall to .500 in the made for the 4 letter tourney with a loss. The fact that Tom Izzo is the only Big 10 coach that has more than competed on even footing with the ACC is just pitiful. (Credit goes to the Indiana Hoosiers for raising their overall challenge record to .500 with their win last night)

Sure, you'll get a couple of marquee matchups out of this challenge every season. But we don't need to see conference dregs like Penn St. and Northwestern embarrass themselves and the Big 10, to allow for the occasional prime time game.

The only reason the so-called challenge exists in the first place is to give the worldwide leader in sports another platform to pimp whatever corporate overlord Disney sees fit. That is reason enough to get rid of the God awful "Challenge"

There's already too much Dick Vitale in the lives of sports fans, we don't need another made for TV, pre-conference regular season, college hoop non-event shoehorning Dickie V even further into our already bent over asses.

I'll be rooting for Sparty and the Wolverines tonight. As for the rest of the games, I couldn't care less. Which, to be honest, is how I feel about the Big 10-ACC Challenge as well.

Why is O.J. Simpson on my TV?

Before you start, I'm issuing a rare TWFE NSFW language warning!

A few minutes ago I decided to flip by the only property of the worldwide leader worth watching on an consistent basis, ESPN News. I was thinking that I might hear some new MLB free agency news, catch a few highlights I may have missed from last night, or something more regarding the Ricky Williams reinstatement. And what do I see?

ESPN News is broadcasting LIVE coverage of the O.J. Simpson preliminary hearing over his kidnapping/memorabilia brewhaha in Vegas.

All I can say is...What. The. Fuck?

This bullshit belongs on Court TV, not anywhere on my TV.

If there is one thing on the earth I couldn't give a more of a shit about, it is O.J. Simpson. Well, there is one thing I could give less of a shit about than O.J. Simpson. Coverage of any O.J. Simpson hearing.

Just go far, far away, you money-grubbing, murdering, son of a bitch!

Save that he was once, long, long ago, an elite athlete, what does this trial/hearing/judge and prosecutor attention whoring remotely have to do with sports? Not a God damn thing. Just because Simpson won a Heisman Trophy 5 generations ago doesn't mean anything and everything involving this stone dumb asshole needs to be broadcast on the 4 letter.

Simpson hasn't had anything remotely to do with sports in a couple of decades, whenever he was last stumbling his way though the Monday Night Football booth. He hasn't been relevant since his days with the Buffalo Bills. The highlight of his sad post-football career, other than murdering 2 innocent people, was the "Naked Gun" movies.

Christ, I'd rather see the ancient Lt. Frank Drebin, Leslie Nielson, make fart jokes on ESPN News than have even another second of so-called news regarding O.J. Simpson force fed to me by a media entity that thinks a large percentage of sports fans actually care.

Memo to the 4 letter...WE DON'T CARE. We don't give a flying fuck! Simpson just needs to go. Period.

For all I care, Vegas police should just toss Simpson in jail, then throw away the key, on general principle. The world would be a much better place if we never heard anything regarding that dumb ass killer ever again. The fact that I'm even writing about this piece of shit makes me want to take a scalding hot shower, then scrub the slime and scum off of me.

Is ESPN News so ratings challenged that they have to go for the lowest common denominator types that watch celebrity trials? That's a rhetorical question, as the fact that this hearing is on a SPORTS channel that I have to pay EXTRA money for makes the answer perfectly clear.

According to ESPN, Favre >>> Any deity

After watching the 4 letter literally get down on their knees, and suck off Brett Favre for the entirety of the MNF pregame, I hope to God that Favre and Green Bay get their asses kicked from Denver, all the way to fucking Kiln, Mississippi, and back to Cheesehead Land.

Please, enough of making an over the hill, turnover prone QB out to a deity. You wouldn't have even known that the Broncos were even playing, it's been nothing but "Farve! FAVRE! FAVRE!"

It's been so over the top, even the ESPN suits have to be saying, "Jesus Christ, what were we thinking?!"

Want proof that the media has an east coast bias? Exhibit A: The Joe Torre coverage

Call me an old curmudgeon, but I find the furor over Joe Torre's firing/resignation/rejection/whatever, absolutely over the top ridiculous. It's the media's 24/7 news cycle at it's worst.

20 years ago, this would not have been the lead story in any sort of media. 10 years ago, ditto. It would have been a few paragraph long wire story on page 2 of the sports section. But In 2007? The Joe Torre presser is being broadcast coast-to-coast. It's become a national nightmare! What will happen to poor Joe?

Yet the MSM wonders why there is such a backlash in the "Flyover states" about an east coast bias?

Any other big league manager is fired/resigns/whatever, it's a 30 spot on Sportscenter. Well, if it's KC or Pittsburgh, it's probably 15 seconds...

If anyone at the worldwide leader is reading, the rest of the nation (Save for possibly Boston, as they have that symbiotic love/hate relationship with NYC), doesn't care that the Yankees gave Joe Torre the bum's rush out the door. Seriously, we don't! Not one whit.

In fact, I can tell you right now what will happen to Joe Torre, without having to watch all the manufactured drama on the 4 letter network.

Torre will chill all winter, spending some of the millions upon millions he made as Steinbrenner's punching bag. He'll get a few exploratory calls from teams looking for a manger, and will announce that he's taking at least a year off.

In the spring, he'll take a TV gig as an analyst at one of the networks, probably at the 4 letter. He'll do better than Dusty Baker, which isn't saying much, as a anyone with a pulse, and a few synapses firing, could make more sense than Dusty. (By the way, the nation owes the Cincinnati Reds a big thank you for hiring Baker, so we won't have to listen to him babble on about walks clogging the base paths on Baseball Tonight) Torre will get good reviews for his TV work, as his years of dealing with the pack of howler monkeys that is the NYC media will have him well prepared.

A losing team desperate for a name manager will come calling for Torre midway through the 2008 season. He will turn them down, waiting to hear from a team ready to win immediately. He will get that call a year from now, and accept the job, getting a big money, 5 year contract.

He will have a disappointing 2009 season, as he will no longer have a roster with a $250 million dollar payroll. Torre's team might make the playoffs once or twice, but never winning big. He'll ed up getting canned during year 5.

Joe Torre's firing will then merit a 30 second long spot on Sportscenter...

Michigan fans with cable just can't win for losing

Being hostage to one of the cable companies (In my case, Charter, who's ineptitude I've railed about in the past) that refuse to carry the Big 10 Network, I've seen very little of the Michigan Wolverines this fall.

Now that we're deep into the Big 10 football season, I was anticipating being able to see the Wolverines on a regular basis. This coming Saturday night, for example, the maize and blue are part of the ESPN on ABC / ESPN2 prime time clusterfuck on ABC.

Whatever, at least I'll be able to watch the important Michigan - Illinois game. All is finally as it should be, with the Wolverines not being televised on the Mickey Mouse Big 10 Network.

Then I see the following blurb about the scheduling of 10/27 Michigan - Minnesota game.

The Big Ten office announced the time and television for the Oct. 27 Minnesota-Michigan matchup on Monday, and the Wolverines will be playing another late-afternoon game at Michigan Stadium.

The game will start at 3:30 p.m., the fourth such start in seven home games this season for Michigan. It will be telecast on ESPN Classic.

The bold is my emphasis. Why? Because I don't get ESPN Classic, that's God damn why!

I can't believe this, now the worldwide leader is shuffling Michigan off on to their channel of last resort? Fuck me.

I've bitched about this before, but let me refresh your memories. When Charter juggled the channel lineup to add ESPNU, showing their infinite lack of wisdom, they moved ESPN Classic off basic cable, and on to a digital tier. But not to the sports tier, which would have been logical and made total sense, and is a tier that I pay for.

No, Charter had to move ESPN Classic to another bullshit digital tier that has such highly watched networks like MTV3, the History Channel - International, the Reelz Channel, and VH1 Soul.

Jesus fucking Christ, I just want to watch the God damn Michigan game, is that too much to ask? I'd like to watch Big 10 football without having to pay for another cable TV tier I don't need, switch to a dish, go out to the bar and spend money I don't have, and not have to jump through numerous hoops to watch a fucking football game!

How much money is enough for the Big 10, the cable cartel, the NCAA, ESPN, ABC, and anyone else who has their God damn sticky fingers deep into my wallet, trying to pull as much cash out as possible, only to allow me to WATCH LESS FOOTBALL.

Screw every single last one of you SOB conglomerates.

I know I'm not alone in my feelings. Ian, of "Bless You Boys" blogging fame, posted a thoughtful comment about this situation in my Saturday post about the lousy quality of Michigan football's radio play-by-play. I want to post his comment on the front page, as Ian nails how I'm feeling about the Big 10, their television package, the cable companies, and the rest of big media.

Amen, Father Big Al. My sentiments exactly. I can't recall being less interested in Michigan football in a given season. And I feel like I have no choice in the matter. I can't believe how badly the Big Ten has stuck it to their fans.

Yes, I could sit and listen to the radio as you did. But virtually all I can think about is that I SHOULD BE ABLE TO WATCH THIS. So once it was apparent that Purdue wasn't going to put up a fight, I went to the movies. And when I came home, I watched SEC football - as I have virtually every Saturday this season - because that conference seems to care more about letting fans watching its signature games rather than try to hoard them onto its own cable network for a blatant money grab.

I know there are plenty of other Michigan fans who just find a sports bar that shows Big Ten Network and watch their team no matter what. I totally resent being put into such a position, and might hold onto this grudge for a long time.

Fuckin' A, Ian.

I find it hard to believe, despite the silly amount of money I pay my cable company, that I can't watch Michigan football.

When it comes to the team I want to see play every Saturday, it may just as well be 1975. I was only able to see Michigan a few times a season back in the 70's. In consolation, at least I got to hear the play-by-play of Bob Ufer, the best homer announcer ever, on the radio.

Back in the prehistoric days before cable, considering we all of 3 networks to choose from, and only 1 carried college football regularly, I could accept the Big 10's TV situation.

But in the 21st century? It's far from acceptable, it's just asinine.

Barry Sanders was overrated?

The 4 letter network, in a desperate cry to attract attention to Sal Paolantonio's silly book, ran an excerpt from said book claiming that Barry Sanders was, get this, overrated? The argument he uses is that Sanders didn't put up numbers in the post season, and never won a title.

If you go by Paolantonio's argument, Timmy Smith must be a better back than Barry, as he had one of the best post season performances ever by a back in Super Bowl XXII, while Sanders' playoff numbers were pedestrian, at best.

You could say that the same goes for the great Walter Payton, as his playoff numbers aren't anything to brag about either. In the 1985 Super Bowl, William "The Refrigerator" Perry had a bigger impact on the result than Payton. So Payton must be overrated too, correct?

I'm aware that I'm stretching things a bit, and being facetious. But it shows how you can twist the truth in order to make your reasoning look credible, doing what I like to call "Rob Parkering" your argument.

Paolantonio uses the small sample size of 6 playoff games played between 1991-1997 to determine that Barry Sanders is overrated. That's right out of the Rob Parker stylebook.

My rebuttal to Paolantonio, other than saying to just look at the eye-popping numbers, is this...

Any argument about Barry Sanders' lack of playoff success, and thus being overrated, has to heavily weighed by the fact that he played for the worst run franchise in sports, the Detroit Lions, and that the coach Sanders played for during his vast majority of his career will never be mentioned in any discussion remotely regarding "Greatness." Or even "Competency."

The Lions head coach the vast majority of Sanders career was the patron saint of this blog, Wayne Fontes. Under Fontes, the Lions offensive schemes changed from season to season, thanks to his chucking offensive coordinators under the bus, saving his job in the process. That reason alone is enough to see that Sanders was an elite talent, as he got his rushing yards in several different offenses.

The Big Buck went through coordinators and quarterbacks the same way Jim Leyland goes through a pack of smokes, fast and furious. Fontes' main claim to fame as a coach was not for his football acumen, but in that he gave a good quote, and ran the Lions like a members only country club, ensuring his players would love him.

In all actuality, Fontes wasted the best years of Sanders career. Sanders never had a great O-line to run behind or a great QB to take the pressure off him, much in thanks to Fontes' ADD style in attempting to build a team around an all-world running back.

Palantonio claims that the fact that Herman Moore had some great seasons, and the Lions had a "Middle of the pack" defense during the middle of Sanders career blows away "The theory that Sanders was the only thing the Lions had going for them during The Barry Sanders Era." That's just a stupid thing to say. I thought that Palantonio was using Sanders playoff difficulties in calling him out as overrated, but then he breaks out with the regular season stats of Moore and the Lions defense?

Wow, the Lions during Sanders' era had a great wide receiver, and an average defense? But what about the below average O-line, the clown of a head coach, and most importantly of all, the clumsy oaf that was handing Sanders the ball?

You want to talk about playoff failure, and why Sanders didn't have the post season numbers, you can look in one direction, at the Lions QB. Under center during several of those years was the easily rattled Scott Mitchell, whose inconsistency put even more pressure on Sanders. Look at Mitchell's awful playoff stats, and then you can see a huge reason why Sanders was ineffective. It's easy to key on stopping Sanders, when your QB has a terminal case of happy feet, and is unable to complete a pass.

To pile on at the end of this tripe, Palantonio goes on about how Sanders retired, calling it an "Ugly scar." I totally agree that Sanders blundered his retirement announcement, and that it was a bad way to end a wondrous career. But what does that have to do with calling Sanders overrated as a running back?

Sanders' retirement is black mark, to be sure, but it had absolutely nothing to do with his performance on the field, which was exemplary.

I saw damn near every game of Barry Sanders' pro career. My eyes told me that I was watching the best God damn running back EVER. To call Sanders overrated is a clueless insult, and nothing more than a hook for Palantonio to sell his book to more than just his immediate family.

Any book rating players using a purely arbitrary and biased system based upon small sample sizes is a waste of time, and Palantonio is wasting mine.

The ESPN ombudsman is nothing more than window dressing

I was out all day, so I'm just now catching up with my RSS feeds. I'm seeing that one of the big stories in the blogosphere today is the latest article by the worldwide leader in sports' ombudsman, Le Anne Schreiber. She, as always, lowers the hammer upon the 4 letter network, calling them out on several issues. But one thing bothers me. Do the suits at the worldwide leader actually give two shits about her critiques?

My guess is no.

The ombudsman is nothing more than window dressing, something the 4 letter can point to, and say to the bloggers, media, and sports fans, "Hey, we hear your complkaints. See, we even have an ombudsman to help us self-police the network."

Self-police? More like the fox watching the hen house.

Every month, I see the sports blogosphere go ga-ga over the latest ombudsman column, and every month I continue to see the WWLiS act like the corporate monolith that it is, doing whatever the Hell they want, while the viewer's needs and complaints are ignored.

Why do I get the feeling that Schreiber's diatribes are brushed off by the ESPN execs as the rants of a cranky old ink-stained wretch who doesn't fit in their style over substance world?

Nothing ever really changes at ESPN. Sportscenter is still an unwatchable train wreck. They still pimp the sports (NASCAR) that they own the broadcast rights to, at the expense of those (The NHL) they don't. Clowns like Stuart Scott, Sean Salisbury and Chris Berman are still employed. They have play by play guys more concerned with the welfare of Britney Spears than what's happening on the field of play. They still claim to have "Exclusive" breaking news, though that news was actually broken first by other media entities. In the rush to get stories on the air, accuracy is often an afterthought.

I could go on, but as sports fans who have to go to the WWLiS to watch the games, you get my drift. You see the same never changing bullshit, day in, day out, that I do.

So I take everything the "ESPN ombudsman" says with a grain of salt. She'll continue to rightfully, and righteously, call out ESPN, and the suits will say, "That's nice, and we'll keep your column in mind, but first we have to do our latest bit of corporate synergy, and add The Rock to all of our programming for a day to promote his Disney flick. The sports fans will LOVE it! They love EVERYTHING we do! The ratings say so!"

It comes down to this...If ESPN believes that something will get ratings, help with corporate synergy, and make money, they will do it.

The ombudsman be damned.

I've finally been convinced. The All-Star Game is an anachronism

As my formative years were in the 70's, I was lucky to see 1 televised ballgame a week, between NBC's Saturday "Game of the Week," or the occasional Tigers broadcast. So the All-Star Game was a big damn deal to me, as I rarely got to see the Tigers, let alone mysterious National Leaguers like Aaron, Bench, and Seaver.

I'm old enough to have watched live one of the more prominent examples of the ASG's importance, Pete Rose essentially ending Ray Fosse's career as an effective player by running him over to win the 1970 game. The ASG actually meant something then, but didn't determine anything more than bragging rights. It was truly the "Midseason Classic."

Once upon a time, you'd run over your mother, let alone a catcher, to win the All-Star Game

That's no longer the case. To see the ASG in a long, slow downward spiral is a shame.

There is no good reason for the winner to get home field in the World Series. No matter how important the ASG is, in the end, it's only an exhibition, nothing more. Using the ASG is just as stupid as MLB's previous way of dealing with home field, by alternating leagues. Just give it to the team with the best overall record, how hard is that to figure out?

Obviously, it's too difficult for Bud-lite.

Then there is the issue of the players themselves. Some play as though they couldn't give a shit. Witness David Ortiz's leisurely stroll down the 1st base line on a ground ball to 2nd in the 1st inning. Or Alex Rodriguez daintily rounding 3rd on a Pudge Rodriguez single, and being thrown out by 10 feet. A-Rod ran the bases as if he was didn't want to dirty his flashy white shoes.

A-Rod has experience in running the bases daintily in big games

There is also the roster issue. I don't need to see representatives from every team. It's only for appearances sake. Your team doesn't have a player good enough to be a true All-Star? Tough shit. You don't get to send a warm body.

Any realistic fan would tell you that the Tigers didn't have a deserving player in the vast majority of seasons between 1993 and 2005, or going back further, during those ugly seasons in the mid 70's. As a Tigers fan, I'm much more embarrassed that stiffs the like of Robert Fick and Dmitri Young represented the Tigers as "All-Stars" (Term used very loosely), than I ever would have been if there wasn't a representative from Detroit at all.

The fact that Fick's Baseball Reference page will say "All-Star" forever, is felonious

We all know the fan vote isn't worth arguing about, so I'm not going to. I'll just say that in an era where you can see every team play on any given night, you'd think the fans would make more educated choices. But we're all biased homers at heart, so the fan vote will always be exactly what it is, a popularity contest.

There's also the fear factor. The fear that someone is going to get hurt, the aforementioned Ray Fosse being one of the more prominent examples. No one wants to see a team's season ruined in an exhibition game. Don't tell me you weren't concerned by Placido Polanco playing through his back injury. Or Justin Verlander nearly taking a Ryan Howard liner in the face during the home run derby.

Fosse was never the same player after being leveled by a running like he was being chased by a bookie's kneebreaker Charlie Hustle.

Speaking of such, TV is a huge culprit in ruining the ASG. For a game that's supposed to be for the fans, and many of those fans are kids, why in Hell start the game at 9pm? Much as it does in the post season, the ASG didn't end till close to midnight eastern time. Most working adults won't stay up that late to watch an exhibition, let alone kids.

The once entertaining home run derby has become nothing more than a showcase for Chris Berman spewing his annoying "Back, back, back," and Joe Morgan being unable to spew anything relevant. After 3 long hours of that insanity, fans should be rewarded for their misery.

Instead, we get punished by being subjected to FOX's Jeannie Zelaskow during the overlong and overwrought ASG pregame. Her braying is enough to make the most diehard baseball fan turn the channel, if not plunge icepicks in your ears. What FOX sees in her is way beyond me...

The thought that both the worldwide leader and FOX believed that it was necessary to put Kenny Mayne and Eric Byrnes, respectively, in kayaks out in McCovey Cove goes to show how creatively bankrupt the networks have become. (Then again, the WWLiS thinks the ESPY's are a good idea, 'nuff said)

In fact, the only smart thing I saw over the past couple of days on the networks was Byrnes' bulldog trying to make a break for it, and swim towards parts west. That fiasco almost caused FOX to miss the most exciting action of the game, Ichiro's inside the park home run. Let's watch a poor dog swim to freedom instead...

If you had to look at that hair every day, you'd have made a break for it too

The All-Star game, at least in it's current form, could go away, and not be missed. It's an anachronism from another time, and it's time has now passed.

It's become nothing more than an excuse for MLB to pimp itself to the networks and advertisers, for the players to earn contract bonuses while going through the motions, and to bleed fan wallets dry.

The 2nd half of the regular season can't start soon enough...

As a sports fan, I can only go so far...

I tried to watch game 4 of the NBA Finals last night. Really, I did. I'm a sports fan, I should be able to watch a championship clinching game, right? Wrong.

The game was unbearable to watch. Entertaining moments were few and far between. It was boring beyond belief. I couldn't watch any more of something that was fait accompli. I gave up, but it also got me thinking.

If I couldn't being myself to sit through the drudgery that was the NBA Finals, what else can't I being myself to do?

1. Sit calmly though a Todd Jones save - It's impossible to not have your blood pressure rise during a Jones save. As soon as you see Jones on the mound, your gut begins to churn. The vein in your forehead begins to pulsate. You break out in a cold sweat, and become short of breath. The last thing you are when Todd Jones is on the mound is calm. Even though Jones somehow converts the vast majority of the time, a save is never easy for him to accomplish, or us to watch.

2. Bet on the Detroit Lions - Period. Not to cover the spread. Not to win outright. Not as part of a parlay. Not if they're favored. Not if they're the underdog. Even in the seasons where they were decent, the Lions would lose to teams that never should have been on the same field with them, and on the flip side, beat elite teams that should have run Detroit off the field. (That was the Barry Sanders era in a nutshell) We've all been burned too many times by the Lions, emotionally and financially. The Lions are a sucker bet. Always have been, always will be.

3. Bet on Michigan Wolverines football - Much of what I said for the Lions applies to the Wolverines. Unlike the Lions, they do win a lot, but never by a lot. They rarely blow anyone out. Too often the Wolverines play to the level of the competition. Unlike most big time schools, Michigan doesn't have a massive home field advantage that almost guarantees a win, thanks to the quietest 110,000 fans you'll ever not hear. It's not worth the emotional anguish, or the punishment to your wallet, to bet on the Wolverines.

4. Not get frustrated with the Detroit Pistons - I've said it several times, and I'll say it again. The Detroit Pistons are the most infuriating team to root for in all of sports. They seem to think that they can turn on and off their effort at will, and still win. The Pistons have the NBA market on hubris cornered. The thought that some teams aren't intimidated by the "PISTONS" across their chest never occurs to them. Their attitude in believing that they are never out of a series, no matter how far down, or not worried by an inferior opponent keeping a series close, drives fans to utter distraction. I love the Pistons, yet they piss me off to no end.

5. Stay awake for a full NASCAR race - I've admitted in the past that I'm a fan of stock car racing. But I can also admit that many of the longer races, especially the 400-500 mile races run on cookie cutter 1.5 and 2 mile tracks, can be quite uneventful. To put it bluntly, they can be boring snoozefests. This weekend's 400 miler at Michigan International Speedway is one of them. MIS is a fast, wide track, with plenty of room for passing. All of which makes for loooong stretches of green flag racing, with the only thing breaking up the monotony are pit stops. But a long race that is won thanks fast pit stops and good fuel mileage isn't what I call compelling racing. You can't help but doze off around mile 150, then snooze for 150 plus miles. Normally, all you have missed is a few pit stops. Cut these sort of races to 300 miles, and they become much more interesting. Since NASCAR couldn't sell as much advertising time, it'll never happen.

6. Keep myself from watching any NFL game - Since we haven't had a legit NFL franchise in Detroit for several years, how else do you expect me to get my NFL fix? The fact that I watched the worldwide leader's version of Sunday Night Football, despite the brain cell killing duo of Theisman and McGuire, speaks volumes.

7. Watch Sportscenter - I just can't subject myself to the abject torture that is Sportscenter anymore. At one time, Sportscenter was a joy. Every night, I'd eat dinner with Charley Steiner and the 6pm Sportscenter. The Big Show was a nightly ritual. Sportscenter was one of the smartest and hippest shows on TV. But now? It's nothing but anchors and reporters yelling at me, former players whom are now unintelligible analysts arguing nonsensical talking points, what few highlights that are shown are dumbed down by the constant spewing of lame catch phrases, and a constant barrage of worldwide leader branding. If they don't have the rights to a league (NHL), it gets the short shrift. But if they do happen to acquire rights (Arena football), it gets an inordinate amount of undeserved attention. It's criminal what the powers that be at the worldwide leader have done to their flagship broadcast. They have managed to make something that was once great, unwatchable.

We know Colin Cowherd has a new nickname. Have we learned anything else?

4 days have passed since the Colin "Schrutebag" Cowherd blew up The Big Lead's servers. The blogosphere is slowly moving on, much as The Big Lead has already. After the war of words finally subsided, what have we learned from the brouhaha?

1. It became quickly obvious from the uproar that ensued that The Big Lead has made a ton of friends, with both big time and small time blogs. People know a good blog when they read it, and The Big Lead is a damn good blog. Cowherd sure as Hell picked the wrong blog to bully. It was quite the sight to see bloggers circle the wagons. We can be quite a force when there is a common cause.

2. We aren't sure who on earth actually listens to Colin Cowherd, as it seemed that not many, if any, bloggers actually listens to the self-important blowhard. I don't. I know that the local bloggers here in the D don't. From what I've read over the past 4 days, no one will actually admit to listening to Cowherd. Someone must, as the clown still has a show, and his sheep did in a blog. I just haven't figured out who...

3. It's never been more clear that ESPN is the devil incarnate to the blogosphere. The MSM, as a whole, isn't far behind. The feeling appears to be mutual, from the lack of mainstream coverage of the Cowherd incident, and the worldwide leader's lack of a sincere apology. Screw 'em, as bloggers, and their readers, will be just fine, acceptance from the MSM or not. All I can say is that the MSM as we know it today will be vastly different 10 years from now, and they will still look at the blogosphere with the same utter disdain.

4. In some ways, the blogosphere is closer to the mainstream than we care to think. For the most part, there are few rules in writing for a web only audience. It's a cornucopia of misspelling, bad grammar, saying whatever the Hell you want, and not giving a shit what anyone else thinks. It's currently the wild, wild west of the sports world. I'll admit that I've written some borderline libelous stuff myself. But I don't claim to be anything more than a fan with an opinion. I'm NOT a journalist, and I wouldn't care to be. I don't want to become beholden to anyone, even if a paycheck would be nice.

But the lines are blurring between the blogs and the MSM. Just look at the online weblogs newspapers are asking their writers to maintain. Some blow, some aren't maintained, and a few are actually quite good. Sounds just like the current state of the blogosphere, doesn't it? Things are changing in the other direction as well, with bloggers gaining press box access, get interviews with athletes, and gradually reaching a greater mainstream audience. I'm not sure when you cross the line from being underground to mainstream, but some blogs are coming damn close to doing so. The rules they follow will have to change as well. I think it's already happened to Deadspin. Leitch has toned things down a notch since they used names in association with the steroid rumors that ran rampant last year.

5. Cowherd is a dick.

Welcome to a brave new blogging world, it's going to be one Hell of an interesting ride.

Tom Mees is spinning in his grave

It's been over 24 hours since The Big Lead was maliciously taken off the web by Colin Cowherd. (Who's now being called "Schrutebag" by the Deadspin universe) The more I think about what's happened over the past 24 hours, the more outraged I become.

I'm outraged over Cowherd's vindictive actions, and for that matter, over what has become of ESPN over the years.

When I first discovered the Entertainment and Sports Programming Network, it was the early 80's. It was manna from heaven for sports fans. I could not even fathom to attempt to try and figure out how much time I spent watching the worldwide leader over the years. Especially the golden years before the Disney overlords and their suit wearing minions took control of Bristol.

Sportscenter was the centerpiece, and I rarely missed it. We all know SC reached it's creative peak in the mid 90's, during "The Big Show" years. There were few, if any. weak spots in the on-air personnel back then. Tom Mees was still alive, Charlie Steiner was the man on the 6 pm SC, Chris Berman had not yet dissolved into a chubby, balding, leather wearing pile of shtick, Keith Olbermann hadn't yet gotten swallowed up in the debacle that was the debut of ESPN2, and his monstrous ego was still in check, Dan Patrick had a rapier wit, and was the perfect foil for Olbermann's snark, and...Well, I don't need to go on...

We all remember the good old days. There was talent everywhere on air. The worldwide leader was not spread nearly so thin.

ESPN had reached their cultural zenith. They had nowhere to go but down. The acquisition by Disney just accelerated the trip into Hell. The skids were greased by the decision to milk the ESPN cow for all that it was worth.

Miking that cash cow lead to...

5 other ESPN channels: News, Deportes, 2, U, Classic. ESPN News is the only one that still has a shred of dignity. What "Dodgeball" parodied may end up being close to reality.

ESPN Entertainment: Producing low budget fare, such as movies, reality shows and scripted dramas, shows that were trying to create...The Hell if I know what they were trying to accomplish. All I know is that the majority of it was hilarious. Unintentionally hilarious.

The radio network: 24/7 of broadcast Hell, giving us the bland Mike Greenberg and Mike Golic, the awful shock jock wannabe Cowherd, a bored out of his mind Patrick, and numerous other voices not deemed TV worthy. There's already too much Mel Kiper in my life, I don't need him on my radio.

The magazine: A bi-weekly, which means it's instantly out of date when it hits the stands. It has a literally unreadable, migraine inducing layout. The web, especially blogs, is quickly making sports magazines irrelevant.

ESPN mobile: Their ill-fated cell phone venture, a branding attempt that showed the utter hubris of the ESPN suits. Lasted maybe 6 months, but continues to be joke fodder to this very day.

The dot com: In it's early days, much like the mothership, it was a prime time destination. Now stripped of it's best content, content that is hidden behind a pay wall. I love reading Buster Olney and Peter Gammons, but for $4.95 a month? You have to be kidding.

The dot com's Page 2: Once a must read, and now a shadow of it's formerly great self. Much like the dot com and TV motherships. Sense a trend? Say what you will about their opinions, but it was a great stable of writers. The late Ralph Wiley and Hunter S. Thompson, Bill Simmons before he was neutered, Jason Whitlock before he pissed off the worldwide leader's suits, much in thanks to an interview with...The Big Lead! Page 2 showed how good web only content could truly be, and was quite influential in the blog movement. I think we've come full circle...

But there is something even worse than what I've already listed that the worldwide leader can claim as their most evil creation.

SCREAMING EX-ATHLETES AND COLUMNISTS!!!!

What hath the success of PTI wrought? Tom Mees must be spinning in his grave seeing the assclowns now on the network he helped make a household name.

From Screamin' A. Smith to Michael Irvin. John Kruk to Rush Limbaugh. Jay Marriotti to Woody Paige. Mike Lupica to The Little Fella. Sean Salisbury to Chris Berman. It never, ever ends. One voice moves on, only to be replaced by a louder one. Rather than have a lucid opinion, they would rather just overwhelm you with decibels.

At this point, the worldwide leader in sports is nothing more than a total clusterfuck.

What Colin Cowherd did to the Big Lead was despicable. He deserves every bit of the bile being spewed his way by the blogosphere.

But the likes of Cowherd, and his sheep-like "Herd," are a symptom of a greater ill, not the cause. His ilk are the result of the ESPN corporate culture that only cares about their shareholders and the bottom line, ignoring journalistic integrity, and any dissenting opinions.

ESPN is now a giant monolith of a media conglomerate, gobbling up what it likes, and destroying what it doesn't. The folks at The Big Lead were sucked up in it's wake.

Despite the actions of the MSM in general, and especially ESPN, the bloggers will continue to rage at those media windmills. Why? Because someone has to...

Colin Cowherd: Proof positive that the worldwide leader is the root of all evil

The Big Lead is a great blog. It's a blog that quickly became a daily must read, and has broken stories that the complacent MSM were too clueless to move on. They've been kind enough to link to TWFE a few times, and they also share a distaste for all things Rob Parker, so you know they are kindred spirits.

Today, the MSM struck back at blogs, and with extreme malice. The Big Lead was taken off line in a DDoS attack today, which was orchestrated by a talentless hack, the worldwide leader radio's Colin Cowherd.

Cowherd asked all his listeners, mostly small town sheep, as Cowherd's show isn't carried in most major markets, to all visit The Big Lead, and crash their servers. As of 8 pm est, the site is still down.

Cowherd using 2 hands to count his big market listeners, or is he calculating his IQ?

To the credit of Detroit radio, this hack is not carried in this market. The only way he can be heard is if you live on the far west side, and can tune in the the asthmatic hamster powered signal of Wolverines media mouthpiece, WTKA in Ann Arbor. Which thankfully means the majority of Detroit doesn't even know this clown exists. All the better for us.

EDSBS, Deadspin, The Fanhouse, to name just a few of the blogging big boys, are understandably furious over Cowherd's malicious douchebaggery. In fact, this is becoming a rallying point with the entire blogosphere.

This isn't the first time Cowherd has locked horns with sports blogs. Last year, he blatantly stole material from Michigan's own M Zone. The web erupted, and swamped the worldwide leader with e-mail. After first denying everything, the worldwide leader forced him into giving a half assed apology. Seems this asswipe hasn't learned a thing.

One of the reasons I started TWFE was that the MSM had become lazy, boring, and outright incompetent. The MSM long ago had stopped giving the kind of analysis sports fans like myself were clamoring for on a daily basis. Unfortunately, the Peter Gammons of the MSM world are becoming harder and harder to find. They are an endangered species, as that world is being taken over by thieving hacks the like of Colin Cowherd.

The blogosphere has been fighting back against an increasingly hostile MSM. Blogs like Fire Joe Morgan and Awful Announcing has taken it to the next level, exposing MSM stupidity at every opportunity. They have not been lacking for material. Anyone that reads TWFE even just occasionally has seen the war I've declared on Detroit's own functionally retarded hack, Rob Parker. Today, the whip smart MGoBlog escalated their own ongoing MSM hostilities, with a scathing post dropping the hammer on consistently wrong rumor monger Terry Foster.

You know where I go first for my sports fix anymore? Just look at my sidebar. There's more smart, entertaining and informative writing there than the MSM could even dream of giving the educated sports fan.

Cowherd's actions today shows the complete lack of respect most of the MSM has for blogs. It's also a sign of fear. Other than being a malicious prick, why does someone working for one of the most powerful media conglomerates in the world feel the need to use his bully pulpit to take down a blog? The Big Lead, to be honest, though influential, has a fraction of Cowherd's audience. Was he insecure? Afraid? Just a dick? Probably all of the above.

I often kid to the GF that listening to sports talk radio is slowly lowering my IQ. With asinine stunts like Cowherd's, it's obvious that I'm not the one with intelligence issues.

Attention "Cold Pizza" & "1st and Ten" veiwers, the Rob Parker info you seek is here at TWFE

Detroit's own Rob Parker is appearing on the Worldwide Leader's "Cold Pizza" (In its final death throes, according to The Big Lead) and "1st and Ten" this week, which we Detroiters think is one of the upcoming signs of the apocalypse.

As a result of Parker's polluting of our TV's, TWFE is getting plenty of hits from whom I'm guessing are ESPN/ESPN2 viewers, searching for Rob Parker, Rob Parker Detroit, Parker Detroit columnist, and so on...

As a public service to all those poor souls who are having Parker unwittingly inflicted upon them by the WWLiS for the fist time, this post can serve as a one stop shop to all things Rob Parker, or as we like to call him, Wobb Parker, Sooper Geenus.


Want to learn more about the worst columnist in Detroit? Read on. We'll start with this illuminating post...

Who are the biggest hacks in the Detroit media?

"Rob Parker: Long considered Joe Dumars lap dog, as in his mind Joe D can do no wrong. On the flip side, thinks Dave Dombrowski can do no right, despite massive evidence to the contrary. Fond of twisting the facts to suit his needs. Stats or factual events won't back up his POV? Then either ignore them, or use small sample sizes, problem solved. His columns do nothing more than point out the painfully obvious, or are just plain painful. Parker's "Clubhouse Confidential" is often nothing more than a pure slanderous rumor mongering exercise of misstating facts, most pointedly in his mistaken claim that Tom Izzo was keeping Detroit Mercy's Brandon Cotton from getting another year of NCAA eligibility. How this hack has infiltrated TV, radio, and print so ubiquitously is hard to fathom, as I don't know of anyone who takes his opinions seriously."

That's Parker in a nutshell, folks. This is the "Expert" that the Worldwide Leader thinks the 12 of you who watch "Cold Pizza" want to see hanging out with überhack Skip Bayless on a daily basis.

What follows are just a few of the multitude of posts that will explain to the uninitiated what Detroiters think of the utter drivel that Rob Parker spews in print, radio, and TV. You have been warned...

Rob Parker, Pistons apologist

Want to lose IQ points? Listen to Detroit sports talk radio

"Delusional" defined: Wobb Parker thinks he is smarter than Jim Leyland

Wobb Parker, sooper dooper geenus!

Columnists say the darnedest things

Wobb Paker, sooper geenus...;

Reading between the lines

It's almost enough to make you pine for Woody Paige. Almost...