2007 will be rung in away from home. I'm leaving for TWFE west side auxiliary HQ shortly, and will be hanging out there till after the new year. So posting may be on the light side till the 2nd or 3rd, when life returns to normal.
I'm hoping to get 1 more post up before the 31st, but in case I don't...
I'd like to wish you and yours one damn happy new year!
Thanks for reading!
Big Al
My bet is on retirement, temporarily. TV cred in '07 and a big raise with another team in '08 is his future.
If Cowher steps down, he could not coach elsewhere in 2007 unless the Steelers granted permission, which is unlikely. He would be free to coach elsewhere in 2008.
I watched the Detroit Lions - Chicago Bears game on Christmas Eve, for several reasons. I was curious to see how successful the fan walkout would be, and if the NFL's mouthpiece, FOX, would mention anything about the fan backlash here in Detroit. The GF was preparing for later in the day, when we would be heading to her parents for dinner, and I needed to stay out of her way. I had a third place game in the blogger league against Twins15, the man in charge of "Thank You Brian Sabean," and "Complete Sports," and I had both Roy Williams and Mike Furrey in my starting lineup.
But what was the main reason for me to watch a meaningless game? Despite the Lions current state of suckitude, I'm still a fan. Through very little thick and way too much thin, I'm a fan of the worst run franchise in sports.
That's the great thing about fandom of any kind, that there isn't much logic to it. The Lions have, for lack of a better term, shit all over us for decades. For most of my life, the Lions have done nothing but heap disappointment upon disappointment. Yet I remain a fan of the Honolulu blue and silver. I'm not going to be "Lions free," as some sports rant radio hosts encourage.
That doesn't mean that I'm happy with how the Lions have been, and currently are being, run. In fact, like most of you, I'm furious! I'm vocal in my frustrations. That's why Terry Foster's Detroit News blog post after Sunday's game made me absolutely incensed.
Foster says that the Lions current state of awfulness is the fault of the Lions fanbase. He claims that we, the fans, won't make the sacrifices needed that would encourage William Clay Ford to make a change.
The sad thing is more bad days are coming and you will be partly to blame because you are not willing to sacrifice. Fans won't give up their season tickets. They won't give up a Sunday afternoon and they won't even leave a meaningless game early to send a message to the Lions and Ford family.
The fans anger hit a boil when rumors began to circulate that the Lions plan on bringing Millen back.
You are all talk and no action. So you get what you deserve. When the Lions are struggling through more 5 and six-win seasons you are partly to blame. You keep waiting for the Calvary to come in and save the day. Folks I got news for you. They ain't coming. You will have a losing season next year too. The Lions are going to break this thing up again before they become a playoff contender.
I would like to wish a Merry Christmas to you and yours. I also want to extend my sincere thanks to all of you who read "The Wanye Fontes Experience" on a regular basis.
So in the spirit of the holiday, here's a greased up David Hasselhoff wishing you all a Xmas to remember.
I'll be back tomorrow with my thoughts on another Lions loss, the walkout, Terry Foster's asinine blog post about the Lions fanbase, and other general foolishness.
Have a wonderful holiday!
I've seen the Detroit Red Wings numerous times over the years, more than I'd care to count. My Red Wings fandom goes far back, before all the Hockeytown hype, before Joe Louis Arena, before Ted Lindsay and his "Aggressive hockey's back in town" mantra, which was sadly misleading.
My fandom goes all the way back to the very late 60's and the old barn on Grand River, The Olympia. My dad would take me 4-5 games a season, and I have vauge memories of watching Alex Delvecchio, Nick Libett, Roger Crozier, Garry Unger, and of course, Gordie Howe. But I wouldn't call them players of my era, so to speak. That would be the next generation of Red Wings.
Unfortunately, I have much clearer memories of that generation of Red Wings players, which we all know, not so fondly, as the "Darkness with Harkness" and "Dead Things" years.
The Wings that I grew up watching, the teams of the mid to late 70's, were horrid beyond belief. My best memory, and pretty much the only pleasant one, being Bill Lochead's one moment in the spotlight, his highlight reel goal that beat the Atlanta Flames in the first round of the 77-78 playoffs. For a fan who knew nothing more than Detroit sports despair, that was a glorious goal. To the Red Wings fans that grew up in the 70's, that was, sad to say, in our young minds, the greatest moment in Red Wings history.
Obviously, the Wings gradually got better, as do my memories. The 2nd date with my now ex-wife was Red Wings opening night in 1984. I was actually able to buy tickets to the game that same day, and only be halfway up the lower bowl. Things sure have changed...
I would occasionally get SRO tix, and bond with drunk Canucks. I had SRO tix the night me and ny 2 best buds saw Lee Norwood tangle with Tiger Williams. Norwood won the fight with a memorable, and bloody as Hell, head butt. (Amazingly enough, a quick Google search led me to dropyourgloves.com, which confirmed that Norwood took on Williams on 3/25/87. Obsessive hockey fight fans are a wonderful bunch.)
One of my best memories was of being in a suite the night Bob Probert took on Troy Crowder in 1991. Earlier that season, Crowder had beat Probie, and this was one of the most hyped rematches ever. The local papers even ran a "Tale of the Tape," and it was a given that they were going to go a couple of times. Dropyourgloves.com confirms what I remember, as my friends and I had their 2 brawls scored a draw. Probie winning the first fight, and Crowder taking the second. The Wings lost big to the Devils that night, and to be honest, no one cared. It was all about Probert vs. Crowder. And Don Cherry making an appearance. Lord, I miss hockey fights...
I guess the previous paragraphs are my drawn out way of saying that I'm a long time Red Wings fan who's let himself fall out of the hockey loop over the past few years.
As I told you on Thursday, I was going to be attending Friday's Red Wings - Minnesota Wild game. Last night was the first Red Wings game I've seen in person since before the lockout. So we are talking at least 3 years since I'd last been to Joe Louis.
I'm used to sitting in the top couple of rows of the upper bowl, with the hard core hockey riff-raff. Last night though, we had great seats, mid ice, top row of the lower bowl. It's been quite a while since I've had the opportunity to sit relatively close to the action, with Detroit's hoi polloi.
Without question, the night confirmed one thing for me. I'd forgotten just how wonderful hockey is to watch live. God damn, it's a great game in person!
I took some lame photos and video, and I doubt you want to see them. But as it's my blog, I can post whatever the Hell I want. So you get to see the results of my lack of any photography skill.
This is the GF and I during the game. She pulled up her hoodie in hopes of keeping her identity secret. Sorry, Kiddo.
This is an incredibly lame picture taken with my Sprint bribe phone's camera. If you squint your eyes, you can see that it was very early in the first period whem I took this pic.
I'm doing my Popeye imitiation while drinking my Festivus gift, an $8.50 Miller Genuine Draft. Festivus for the rest of us! I'm quite obviously ready to pin the head of the household at this point of the night.
And here is TWFE first official You Tube video. Grainy, no discernable action, and me talking incoherently. I'm so proud...
What I'm trying to say with this post is just one thing. Despite what many outside of the Original 6 cities might think, hockey still matters. This blogger just needed to be reminded of it.
Just a quick note to let you all know that I won't be taking the next week off from TWFE, but you can expect my posting to be somewhat sporadic over the holidays.
I'll be away from the PC for the next couple of days. Hopefully I'll have some awful pictures and entertaining anecdotes from Friday night's Red Wings game to post on Saturday. Yes, I'll be in the lower bowl at the Joe on Friday night, with the GF and her parents. Even riff-raff as myself sometimes score, and get to sit with Detroit's hoi polloi. I'll be easy to find, too. I'll be the guy in the away Brendan Shanahan jersey, or more correctly, sweater, to be all hockey specific...
Since I'll be with the GF's parents, I promise that I'll be on my best behavior, and limit my beer consumption to 1 large Canadian beer per period.
Those of you read from the job, please feel free to stop by over the holidays. If you can't, have a great Christmas, and an even better New Years. We'll see you in 2007. For the rest of you layabouts, I'll see you all in the next couple of days.
Thanks for reading, and "Fire Millen!"
Big Al
From: The Throne of William Clay Ford
To: The Lions ticket holding communist rabble
Re: A word of warning
Let's get one thing perfectly clear. I could care less about you, and you despise me. But I'm richer than God, so what you think, to be blunt, means dick. But that's neither here nor there.
I'm hearing from my moles that some of you lower class, blue collar, union sympathizing socialists are planning an attempt to embarrass me and my football team with a so-called "Protest." I'm told some sort of walkout is scheduled for this Sunday, in hopes of sullying my good name.
You aren't the first to take on we Fords, you know. We had plenty of experience handling walkouts by the likes of you back in those glorious union busting 1930's. Have a look, and take heed, you socialist heathens...
To be honest, I wish my footballers hit as hard as Ford's union busting goon squads. But never you mind. Just remember, when you dare to take a stand against a Ford, or my Detroit Lions, you are asking for trouble. I can dish it out, believe you me.
Plan on displaying a "Fire Millen" sign? Wearing a bag over your head? Leading anti-Lions chants? Organizing the crowd in protest? All in a stadium with MY NAME above the entrance?
Not on my watch!
I'm not some doddering, clueless, alcoholic, senile old fool, as some dumb ass blogger might have you believe. You do not want to piss me off. If you do, expect to be greeted as warmly as those unamerican, communist UAW organizers were in those wonderful pictures above.
You know, we don't have to be enemies. Please, quietly enjoy your time at Sunday's game. Root for the Lions, buy lots of trinkets, drink plenty of beer. That makes me happy. But don't you poor son of a bitches dare take me on with a walkout. You'll live to regret it...
Buy American! Go Lions!
William Clay Ford
PS: You want me to fire Matt Millen? Over my DEAD BODY! Now go die in a fire.
Jeremy Bonderman signed a 4 year, $38 million dollar extension yesterday. This news is the best Christmas gift the Tigers could give their fans. The Dave Dombrowski and the Tigers again show that they are one smart organization, one to be reckoned with for the rest of this decade, at the very least.
If there is such a thing as a fair contract for both sides, this is it. The Tigers buy off 2 arbitration and 2 free agent years. Bonderman gets security and fair market value. Especially with the contract being back loaded at 12.5 million, which is currently the going rate for good starters, in '09 and '10.
In a world where the utterly average Gil Meche is worth $55 million, where bad contracts have become the norm, this is a win/win deal for both sides. If you think that Bonderman is selling himself short, think again. With his being only 27 at the end of this deal, he's still going to get his crazy money contract the next time around. If he continues at his current rate of improvement, getting better every year, Bonderman will get a long term, 9 figure contract after the 2010 season.
Until that time, Bonderman is secure in the fact that, even if he's (God forbid) injured, he has set up his family for life. On the other hand, the Tigers have locked up an elite arm for the rest of the decade. Let alone there is the fact that if the Tigers ever do decide to trade Bonderman, he'll have a contract that wouldn't hold up a deal.
Is there any way Matt Millen could work as an intern with the Tigers? The incompetent boob could learn how a true professional franchise is run.
The annual fan protest against Matt Millen and the Detroit Lions will be this coming Sunday, on Christmas Eve. A fan walkout is scheduled at the 8 minute mark of the 2nd quarter. Head over to Detroit Sports Snobs and Fire Millen for the details.
More power to them, as I've been quite vocal in my disgust with Millen as well. (Just look at my sidebar) Unfortunately, the walkout is nothing more than an exercise in futility, ultimately destined to fail, probably miserably.
Using a walkout as the method of protest leaves me wondering, as the Lions still get your money. It's not hitting William Clay Ford in the pocketbook, which would be the only thing he would notice. If the game is close, which is a distinct possibility considering the protest is to happen so early in the game, and the Bears have absolutely nothing to play for, I doubt many fans are going to just up and leave Ford Field.
If they do leave en mass, that's great. I just don't see people pissing away their hard earned money by walking out of a game that is a little more than a quarter over. To be brutally honest, I know I wouldn't.
Another factor working against this year's protest is that I don't see the same righteous outrage this season. The emotions that boiled over in the last few games of the 2005 season just isn't there anymore. Lions fans have been so furious, for so long, that they have nothing left.
Last year was the flash point. We had the rallying cry of the original "Fire Millen" protester being chased throughout Ford Field, then tackled by security, during the Vikings game last December. The iconic images were broadcast worldwide, "Fire Millen" became an national phenomenon, and lit a fire locally that finally cumulated with the "Millen Man March" and the "Orange out" during the last home game of '05.
But when all was said and done, what did the "Millen Man March" actually accomplish? Not much of anything, as the Fords did nothing, the Lions are even worse off, and the incompetent boob is still in charge. If anything, the fan revolt caused the Fords to dig in their heels, and become more resolute in their unwavering support of Matt Millen.
So this year, I get a totally different vibe from the Lions' fanbase. Not one of acceptance, or even indignation, but of inevitability. There a sense of hopelessness surrounding the Lions, that nothing we fans do will make a lick of difference to the blue blood that is William Clay Ford. He's a modern day Marie Antoinette. Ford will tell the Lions' blue collar fans to eat their proverbial cake, and like it.
Many of us, myself included, have moved on from being angry, and are now apathetic. The last few games have shown us as much. The crowds at Ford Field are beginning to thin, there is no energy or life in the building at all. Even the players have noticed. You can't even get a hearty "Fire Millen" chant going anymore. And that may be what finally brings down the Millen regime. Not protests, or walkouts, but fan apathy.
Apathetic fans don't spend money, and they don't show up for games. It's happened here before. For those too young to remember, the Lions of the mid-late 80's, the Darryl Rogers era Lions, were almost as bad as the Millen led Lions. It was one of the lower ebbs in Lions history. What finally caused Ford to change directions wasn't the constant losing, but an empty Silverdome. There were games towards the end of the Rogers debacle when the Silverdome was less than half full. 35,000 attendance in an 80,000 seat stadium got the attention of WCF damn quick. It ushered in the Wayne Fontes era, but that's another post...
That's why I don't see another protest accomplishing much of anything. A walkout of a few hundred on Sunday won't cause Ford to even blink. I honestly believe that he couldn't even pretend to give a shit about the fans, even if his life depended upon it. As for the incompetent boob, Millen wouldn't resign when the fans were in open revolt last season, so I seriously doubt another protest will make him change his mind.
Like the protesters, I hope to God that Millen gets the ziggy at the end of the season. If he does, it won't be thanks to fan protests. It'll be due to the fact that Ford will finally get it through his thick upper crust skull that Millen is a moron when it comes to running a football team. Or if Ford Jr. stages a coup d'état. I doubt either happens after this season.
To those that plan to protest though, I do wish you good luck. Keep tilting at those windmills. As Robert Browning wrote, "Ah, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp, or what's a heaven for?”
What can you say about yesterday's Lions' loss that hasn't already been said before? Not just this season, or the Millen era, but for decades upon decades. For that matter, we've seen this same type of loss over and over and over, a Lions fan version of Groundhog Day.
From the awful clock management, strange play calling, bad penalties, refusal to even consider a QB change, to the lack of any sign of improvement, can it be any more obvious that Sgt. Marinelli is in over his head? If anything, the Lions have regressed over the last several games.
At least the Sarge has given us a new quote to hang our hats on.
Just as Bobby Ross spewed "I don't coach that stuff," signifying the beginning of his breakdown, and Marty Mornhinweg could never live down his moronic "The bar is high," the Sarge came up with his own platitude in today's presser that just may come back to haunt him.
Unfortunately, the Lions are normally on the wrong end of those stories.
For example...
Jeff Garcia, when he QB'ed the Lions last season, looked old and broken down. He was washed up. Stick a fork in him, he's done. This season, after stepping in for an injured Donovan McNabb, Garcia has led the once stumbling Eagles on a 3 game winning streak. They are now on the verge of a wild card playoff berth. Garcia just may have saved the Eagles' season.
Dick Jauron, the Lions interim head coach after Steve Mariucci got canned, was run out of town on a rail. He was never considered for the Lions gig. This season, Jauron had led the Bills out of the AFC East cellar, has them at 7-7 in the tough as nails AFC, has turned around the career of JP Losman, and is 5-2 in their last 7 games.
Joey Harrington...Well I don't need to describe his travails as a Lion. This season, after replacing the injured Dante' Culepepper in Miami, Harrington is 5-5 as the Fish's starter, and spanked Detroit hard on Thanksgiving.
The Lions needed a QB after it was decided that Harrington was never going to make it in Detroit. Drew Brees was available, but never seriously considered. The Lions went in another direction, signing both Jon Kitna and Josh McCown, and between the two, felt they felt they had stabilized the QB position. On the other hand, the lowly Saints broke the bank for Brees with even blinking. This season, Brees leads the NFL in passing yards, having thrown for over 4200, and has led the Saints to that promised land called the playoffs. Brees is also one of the top candidates for league MVP, deservedly so. Kitna leads the league in turnovers, and excuses. McCown has played, but only as an emergency receiver.
Notice how the Lions are never on the other end of these kind of stories? When the Lions sign players, rather than step up their game, they rest on their laurels and collect very large paychecks. Shaun Rogers, Damien Woody, Rick DeMulling, Fernando Bryant, and Kalimba Edwards come to mind, to name a few that are still on the Lions roster.
I think we can describe the Lions thusly...
The Detroit Lions, driving their fans crazy, yet making the rest of the league feel good, for over 50 years.
Is there such a thing as the dog days of blogging? If so, these just may be them...
How many ways can you say the Lions suck, blow, and are lower than pond scum? Because I'm running out of 'em. Every week you think the Lions have reached rock bottom. The very next week they somehow reach down deep, and fall even farther into a black hole of suckage. Writing about the Matt Millen's Honolulu blue, silver, and a touch of black is comparable to shooting fish in a barrel. Save that the fish are smarter and have a plan.
The Tigers made their big moves close to a month ago, before the MLB owners took loss of their senses. There has been nothing all that exciting since, unless you are a fan of Brandon Inge, Guitar Hero, Rule 5 pickups, or trade rumors. In their case, no news is good news.
No insane contracts being thrown like so much confetti in the wind is even better news. Then again, if the Tigers are talking extensions (as rumored) with Jeremy Bonderman and Carlos Guillen, we may be stunned by the amount of money they will be demanding. If the likes of Gil Meche is worth $55 million, then Bonderman is going to be pulling in close to 9 figures.
As for the Red Wings and Pistons, there really isn't much going on with them either. They both have winning records, have been frustratingly streaky, and they aren't involved in any trade rumors. In the big scheme of things, both franchises are biding time till the playoffs.
Even talking about the Pistons getting involved in the Allen Iverson sweepstakes is wasting bandwith. Never going to happen. For that matter, the Pistons only seem to play hard when interested by an opponent, then coast the other 2/3 of the time. Why should we be interested, when the Pistons themselves seem bored?
It was interesting when the Wings got to play the Maple Leafs last weekend, for the first time in what seems like decades. Unfortunately, the Wings then went back to playing Nashville and Columbus (seemingly) 30 times a year. In other words, YAWN. The NHL has huge issues, and their strange schedule, trying to create rivalries where none exist, is problem number one. It could be easily fixed, but the NHL continues to ignore what their longtime hardcore fanbase really wants.
When it comes to the Wolverines, I'm suffering from BCS fatigue. I think most of us are at this point. Everyone within shouting distance of a microphone is yammering on about whom they think is more worthy of facing the bucknuts, and to be honest, I'm tired of the din. Enough already, and give the masses a playoff. Yeah, right. Pipe down, and don't bug me till late December, as there won't be any interesting bowl match ups till then.
I'm finding it hard to get fired up about college hoop. Sparty and the Wolverines haven't played anyone of consequence, save for the Worldwide Leader's meaningless time filler known as the "ACC-Big 10 Challenge." At least MSU has played a few tough games, but I find myself pining for the days when Tom Izzo had a gauntlet of an early schedule. Even if they lost their share, it made for some great match ups.
Michigan's out of conference games have been, to put it mildly, severely lacking. Come on, Wofford? U of M's schedule of creampuffs, cupcakes, and directional schools would be shameful for a high school team. No, let me take that back. It would be shameful for a junior high team. All I can say is that Tommy Amaker best be looking for new employment if the Wolverines can't make the NCAA's with their basically being spotted 12 games. The new year, and the Big 10 regular season, cannot get here soon enough.
Here's hoping things pickup on the Detroit sports landscape. Soon!
We have not heard from either William Clay Ford or Matt Millen in months. Is Millen on thin ice? Will WCF make a change? No one seems to have an answer.
Something is finally happening, though. Word is leaking out, via the NFL Network's Adam Schefter, that there have been "High level evaluation meetings" between the two, in regard to the future of both Millen and the Detroit Lions.
TWFE just happens to have a transcript of one such meeting...
William Clay Ford: //zzzzZZZZzzzz//
Matt Millen: Sir? Mr. Ford? Sir?
WCF: //WHEEZE//
MM: Uh, Mr. Ford? You awake?
WCF: //drool//
MM: Jesus H Christ, he's been into the Chivas again. I didn't want to have to do this...
WCF: //HACK//
MM: I just gave Marinelli and Martz 5 year extensions.
WCF: //WHISTLE//
MM: Guaranteed.
WCF: WHAT THE BLAZES?! JEEVES! Where in the GOD DAMN HELL is my scotch?! Now what's this about extensions?! To a communist?!
MM: That's Martz, not Marx, sir. Ahh, you're awake now sir. I need to talk to you.
WCF: Is that you Russ? Now what? Is that ass Karras giving you a hard time? Is he wrestling again? Or is he in deep with the bookies? How much is it going to cost me to bail his Greek ass out of trouble this time? Get Rozelle on the horn!
MM: Rozelle? But..
WCF: Ever since "Paper Lion," Karras has been an arrogant asshole, gone all Hollywood. Letting that socialist pinko Plimpton into training camp was the dumbest thing I ever did. Well, save for the Edsel. Why did I think that strange ass looking car would sell? Hank the Deuce, that fucking prick, has been rubbing my face in it ever since. Did I, or did I not, ask FOR MY SCOTCH?! Fucking help isn't worth a damn anymore, Russ.
MM: Yes, the help sucks, sir. But..It's me sir. Not Russ Thomas, may he rest in peace. It's Matty Millen. You know, the guy with square head and the 'stache? The GM of your Lions?
WCF: Didn't I have this discussion with some small time bogger already? I had him shot, you know. And no one manages my loins!
MM: LIONS! DETROIT LIONS!
WCF: Well why didn't you say so, Russ? Damn, I need a drink. Fuck, I'm out of Chivas. JEEEVES!
MM: Um...Yeah. Anyway sir, I wanted to talk to you about your football team. It's been a rough season, and I wanted to explain why we lost to the Vikings on Sunday, and why the Lions are 2-11.
WCF: My footballers lost to the Vikings again? What's the big deal, we've never been able to beat them damn Nordic sumbitches. I think that damn Bud Grant feeds them Lutefisk, Russ. Nasty stuff. Screw the Vikings. I thought you had something important to talk about. I'm not worried, though.
MM: Not worried?
WCF: Not at all, Russ. I have good feelings about our hiring Joe Schmidt as the head coach of my footballers. He says to expect big things from some kid named Landry, that's he's the next coming of that drunk hick, Bobby Layne. And he likes that darkie, the running back who always bugging me about a car dealership, what's his name? Barr? Farr? Carr? I gave him a dealership franchise just to shut his ass up. Wait till he finds out its on the bad side of 8 Mile! HAR!
MM: Sure, Mr. Ford. Anyway, we've had a ton of injuries. The head coach, Marinelli, has been making some rookie mistakes. We've had some bad breaks. From the outside, things look bleak. But coach Marinelli says we're "THIS CLOSE" to turning the ship around, and winning some games, sir.
WCF: Close to Marinelli? Close to a wop?! So Karras has mob ties, eh? Roselle is going to be PISSED! HAR!
MM: MARINELLI! MARINELLI!
WCF: Stop yelling Russ! I'm not deaf, you know. Don't worry, I'll order you some marinara sauce with lunch. JEEVES! If that damn scotch isn't here soon, I'm going to call J. Edgar! He owes me a favor, Russ. He likes the fellas, you know. Damn fairy. HAR!
MM: Uh, right. Anyway, the media is asking for you to make a decision as to my future with the Lions. They want you to hold me accountable for my 23-70 record.
WCF: The media wants me to talk? Balderdash! Fuck them media liberals! I can have Cronkite taken out with one phone call, Russ. One. Nobody tells a Ford what to do! NOBODY! Especially Liberals! JFK tried, look what happened to him. Get it, Russ? HAR!
MM: Got it, sir. So my job is safe? You aren't going to ask for my resignation?
WCF: You'll have a job as long as I'm around, Russ. And I don't plan on going anywhere other than to the bank. And the whorehouse! HAR! So don't worry about anything Russ, you have a job for life. Just let the footballers take care of themselves, the Lions are a license to print money. And don't ever shave the 'stache.
MM: Never, sir.
WCF: JEEVES! Scotch me, post haste! Russ, my bunions are acting up. I need a foot massage. No one gave them as well as the Fred Flintstone looking character that used to hang around here. Fontez, or some such. You'll have to do.
MM: Yes sir. I love my job, I love my job.
WCF: Not bad, Russ, not bad. Jeeves! Scot...//ZZZZ//SNORT//
Technorati Tags: Detroit Detroit+Lions Matt+Millen Ford NFL football
For those of you who thought that Rod Marinelli deserves another year to prove himself, due to his having an anchor named Matt Millen around his neck, what do you say after yesterday's debacle?
Sunday's game was exhibit A, proving that Marinelli is in over his head.
When the Sarge passed up a sure field goal late in the game, when you were going to need one to tie the game anyway, is now being called, rightfully so, his "Marty moment."
It's a no-brainer. You kick, because if you don't get the TD on 4th down, the game is, for all intents and purposes, over. Come on, it's "Football 101." You need 10 points to tie. It's 4th and goal, and you have a gimme FG. Common sense, let alone conventional football strategy, says that you kick the FG. You take the 3 points, and let me do the math....Well what do you know? You are only down 1 score!
The way that Minny's offense was sitting on their lead, and factoring in that the Lions D was playing fairly well at that point, Detroit was going to get the ball back with plenty of time to drive for the tying TD.
As it turned out, the Lions last possession started with 1:50 left in the game. That's more than enough time, even if you are out of time outs, to get yourself a tying TD. It's not much time when you still need 2 scores, thanks to very questionable play calling.
Not kicking the FG was as dumb as Mornhinweg taking the wind to start OT, and Ross going for 2 when down 4. OK, maybe not as dumb as taking the wind...
It was just another bad decision by an inexperienced head coach. A head coach, we should remember, who has not even been a coordinator. At any level. And it shows.
He's a head coach that probably isn't worth saving, no matter what happens to Millen. But to keep Millen, if only to give an obviously struggling Marinelli another year? That would be a dumber decision than any Mornhinweg ever made.
Marinelli continues to confound everyone. For example, he has been preaching accountability all season. So why do we see none in the case of Jon Kitna? He has become a turnover machine, with 4 more yesterday, yet the Sarge steadfastly stands by Kitna. His reasoning being that it's not all Kitna's fault. From what I can see, a 34 year old journeyman who has thrown picks in 11 consecutive games is far from being fault free.
Marinelli also continues to preach that we don't see how close the Lions are to winning. That they are "THIS" close. The only thing the Lions are close to winning is the number 1 overall draft pick. This a team in a death spiral, with a roster counting the days till they can empty their lockers and get the Hell out of the D.
For all of Marinelli's bluster over teaching and coaching, from going by his 2-11 record, he has been about as effective a teacher as a student teacher would be on the last day of school. In other words, not effective at all. Despite all the supposed teaching and coaching, we still see bad penalties, blown assignments, clock mismanagement, the all around bad football that our Lions have become known for over the decades.
Marinelli now has the same look that everyone of his predecessors had. It's the look that we Lions fans have had for decades. Just what look is that?
The look of hopelessness.
Technorati Tags: Detroit Detroit+Lions Rod+Marinelli Matt+Millen NFL football
Mike Martz has a reputation of bing a slightly crazy, hard to work with offensive genius. Today we found out that Martz is not slightly crazy. Tuns out he's in fact batshit loony. Martz is certifiably insane.
Why would I say that ? Look at the following quotes in today's Free Press.
In regard to the rash of turnovers committed by the QB, how much is the fault of Jon Kitna?
Martz: "About 95% of it isn't Jon."
How good is Kitna when compared to his 2 star pupils, Kurt Warner and Marc Bulger?
Martz: "I think Jon's on par with any quarterback that I've ever coached. He's as good as anybody I've ever been around at that position. He really, truly is. I believe in him. He's a great player."
Huh? Kitna is comparable to a Super Bowl winning, 2 time NFL MVP? Kitna is not to blame for the vast majority of game changing turnovers? Is Martz just seeing what he wants to see? Am I not watching the same games as crazy ass Martz?
I read the praise as just hyperbole, and pure hubris, from Martz, who thinks his system can turn any old stiff off the street into a pro bowler. Sure, Martz's offense has been putting up great passing stats, 6th overall in the NFL. But when it comes to the stat that counts, points on the scoreboard? The Lions are only 21st.
For that matter, Kitna has some of the most empty stats in football. 3rd overall in passing yards is wonderful. But..Kitna is also 18th in QB rating, 17th in TD's, and 4th in interceptions. Then there's the fact that the Lions are 31st in rushing offense. It shows that the Lions offense is horribly skewed in one direction, to the team's detriment. The Lions aren't accomplishing much of anything, other than getting their share of yards between the 20's, when they throw the ball.
For Martz to praise Kitna to high heaven is disconcerting at best, and unhinged at worst. Then again, what else would we expect Martz to say? This is a man who told us that Kevin Kaspar/DeVale Ellis/Az Akim/This weeks waiver wire pickup was the solution to the 3rd wide receiver problem.
I'm not saying that Kitna is the whole problem, just one of many. The O-line is in shambles, causing Kitna to run for his life when he drops back. The running game is a non entity. There are only 2 dependable receivers, Roy Williams and Mike Furrey. There has been so much turnover amongst the rest of the receiving corps, that it's no wonder that the receivers are often, as Martz contends, in the wrong spots.
I was in favor of the Lions giving Martz the reigns to the offense. Unfortunately, so far it looks as if Sgt. Marinelli can't control Martz's pass happy, roster churning, turnover risking, urges. Actually, the Sarge is just encouraging his nutso offensive coordinator all the more when he tells the press that Kitna is the unquestioned starter for this, and next season.
Kitna is an average, at best, QB, but Martz is asking him to play like a star. This season has shown that Kitna hasn't mastered Martz's complicated schemes. I'm not sure he ever will.
Despite what Martz's bluster might lead us to think, you need talented players to successfully run his complex offense. He had them in St. Louis. Martz doesn't in Detroit. And we all know who's to blame for that...
Technorati Tags: Detroit Detroit+Lions Mike+Martz NFL Football
The Tigers and Dave Dombrowski continue to impress with their smart spending. I have absolutely no problem with the Tigers extending Brandon Inge with a 4 year/24 million dollar contract. In fact, it looks like a bargain after seeing what average players are getting on the free agent market. Come on, the Royals, of all teams, paying 55 MILLION for the utterly average Gil Meche? That's an insane amount of money. That contract alone is proof positive that MLB owners are making stupid amounts of money.
I know they all play different positions, and are joining different teams with differing needs, but we've seen ludicrous contract signings this off season. When you see the deals Meche, Julio Lugo, Gary Matthews Jr, Jamie Walker and Juan Pierre were lavished with, to name just a few, then 6 million a year for an athletic 3rd baseman with 25 HR power and great range is a relative steal. Especially for a player that should be in his prime for the majority of his contract.
It's also nice to see a player who has spent his entire career with the Tigers get rewarded. Considering his humble (To but it nicely) beginnings, it's hard to believe that Inge is the senior man on Tigers in terms of service time. Inge's growth from a light hitting catcher to a power hitting 3rd baseman was something that none of us could have foreseen. You can put me in the corner of those who thought Inge would never amount to much of anything, other than being a career backup catcher who would have trouble maintaining his BA above the Mendoza Line. I had him pegged as a lighter hitting Brad Ausmus, which shows what I know...
Now if the Tigers could get to work on extending Carlos Guillen and Jeremy Bonderman, and start working Marcus Thames at 1st base, all of which have been rumored in the papers over the last couple of days, I'll be a happy Tigers fan.
Technorati Tags: Detroit Detroit+Tigers MLB baseball Brandon+Inge
If you can figure out the Pistons, and their chances for this season, you'll get my kudos, because I sure as Hell can't.
The Pistons are still undeniably a talented team, and in the watered down Eastern Conference, a threat to reach the NBA finals. They are also a highly flawed group, a team that may have seen their championship window close.
From what we've seen so far from the Pistons, despite their recent 9 game winning streak, is a team that has raised more questions than give us answers.
They still have little depth, despite their attempts to shore up the bench. Jason Maxiel was in the rotation, now he's out, and only plays in garbage time. Carlos Delfino was in the rotation, then out, now he's back in. For how long is anyone's guess. Flip Murray has been Flip Murray, in other words, "Meh." Antonio McDyess has been solid, as always, but his scoring is down. Lindsey Hunter is constantly nursing injuries (Currently his achilles), and considering he's about 95 years old in basketball years, it was to be expected.
With that lack of depth, be it due to Flip Saunders not developing the bench, or their not being as talented as we were lead to believe, he is still playing the the big 4 starters extended minutes. Sheed, Hamilton, Billups, and Prince are all averaging over 35 minutes a game, just like last season. We all saw how gassed the Pistons looked in the playoffs. Didn't Flip learn from history? If he didn't, he's due to repeat it.
'Sheed is still 'Sheed, dominating at times, disappearing at others, always frustrating, thanks to not always using his awesome skills, and still their best low post presence. He's much like the Tigers' Curtis Granderson, in that he's their catalyst. When 'Sheed plays well, the Pistons win. When he's in one of his funks, the Pistons struggle. It's as simple as that.
Nazr Mohahmmed, given a big 5 year contract, has been disappointing. 30 million for 20 minutes, 6 points and 5 rebounds per game is not exactly free agent money well spent. I'm guessing the Spurs knew something after all, considering you don't normally let talented big men walk.
Chauncey Billups has played well, but not quite as well as last season. He's still one of the top 5 point guards in the league. With all that in mind, is Billups really worth a max contract? Personally, I'm torn. I don't think he is, mostly due to his age. Despite that, if I was in Joe Dumars' shoes, I think would give him the money. You can't let Billups pull a Ben Wallace, and take a Brink's truck worth of cash from another team. And you know some GM out there will give Billups that max contract.
Joe Dumars has a tough decision, one that I wouldn't want to make. If you sign Billups to a MONSTER contract, you are now pinning all of your title hopes on an aging point guard. You keep him, and then pray that he staves off declining, a la Steve Nash. On the other hand, does Dumars trade Billups, if he knows he won't be offering him a max deal? If he's not going to be able to keep Billups, you might as well blow things up, and start building for the future.
Dumats could do nothing more than cross his fingers, and hope that Billups gives the Pistons a home team discount. Any way it all plays out, it's a scary scenario. The Pistons could very easily lose 2 all-star caliber starters in consecutive off seasons, and get absolutely nothing in return. That would kill the franchise.
Supposedly the upcoming draft is loaded. Unfortunately, the pick that the Pistons got in return for Darko is looking more and more like it will not be very high at all. Orlando has the best record in the east. The Darko pick is going to haunt this franchise for a decade. when it is all said and done, the Pistons will have parlayed the 2nd overall pick in the draft into nothing more than a late first round pick. Ouch. The Darko pick will haunt the Pistons for a very long time.
I was optimistic about the Pistons chances before the season started. I'm not quite so optimistic now. I still think they will win 50 games, if only due to the fact that majority of the teams in the East outright suck. I was hoping that the Pistons would be more than that, instead of being just a team that might be the best of a bad bunch.
The Pistons may be more than that, and the big 4 starters could carry them quite far. But just like 'Sheed, the Pistons are consistent in their inconsistency. And that is what continually tempers my optimism.
Technorati Tags: Detroit Detroit+Pistons NBA basketball
What's in my inbox today? I hope it's not another "Win or else" memo from Junior. I just delete those without even reading them. Come on, what's the point? Let's see... Ooooo, what's this? A questionnaire? I LOVE questionnaires! Let's get started...
1. FIRST NAME? Fire
2. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW? A documentary about people who sell paper products, "The Office." I try to base my management style on what I've learned from watching Michael Scott. He's BRILLIANT!
3. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? When I said goodbye to my pal Joey. He was like a stepson to me.
4. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? I like my chicken scratch. It's taken years to perfect a style of signing X's.
5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Anything with "Loaf" in it. Meat Loaf, Olive Loaf, Loaf Loaf.
6. KIDS? I don't own any billy goats.
7. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? I'm my own best friend, and I have an extra special relationship with my right hand...
8. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? No, I don't subscribe to the Wall Street Journal. There's not enough pictures, and no comics! But I do read those things called bloggers. A dirty shameful habit, I know.
9. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Sarcasm? Is that an ointment? If so, I use it in my jock quite a bit, stops the itching.
10. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS: All 3 of them.
11. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? No, but I'll jump to conclusions. Why else would I have signed Bill Schroeder?
12. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? I love Tony the Tiger, so I'll say Fruit Loops.
13. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? I never learned how. It's my cross to bear. Velcro is my best friend.
14. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? Strong smelling, maybe.
15. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? Brown. But sometimes I like pink and white with it. It's called "Napoleon."
16. SHOE SIZE? That's kind of personal, don't you think?!
17. RED OR PINK? Pink's a pretty good singer, but isn't she really a blonde? I don't understand. Anyway, I never liked Simply Red. But Red Ryder was pretty good. Country singer Red Sovine was sappy, though. I mean, "Teddy Bear?" Sappy. OK, Pink.
18. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? My wide receiver fetish. I need a 12 step program.
19. WHAT IS THE MOST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? There's much too many to say accurately, but I'll say my modesty.
20. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? I was soooo sad to hear that Joe Paterno passed away on the night before the Michigan-tOSU game. I flew into Happy Valley for the memorial, and there was no one there, though. Go figure.
21. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? Only if they send money with it. In unmarked bills. Serial numbers must be non-sequential. 10's and 20's only. Leave it behind the dumpster at the Allen Park facility. Please label it "BIG BAG FULL OF MONEY!" so I'll know which one it is.
22. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? I can't find my pants. Shoes? I'm wearing Charles Rogers' cleats, as they were never used. They're all white, but there's a whole bunch of black on them, so I can only see small white stripes.
23. LAST THING YOU ATE? An entire box of Crayolas. Thought it was candy. My bad.
24. IF YOU WERE A CAR, WHAT KIND WOULD YOU BE? Well, since I work for the Fords, I'd have to say a I'd be a Fiso. You know what I'm talking about, those trucks with "F150" on the fender? that's spells "Fiso," right?
25. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? My next head coach, John L. Smith. That's just between you and me, got it?
26. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO? If they are wearing pants. John L's were quite nice.
27. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO U? I thought this was from that nice Nigerian dude who said was going to make me rich. Damn. $100K of William Clay's cash down the drain. But I think I can get the money back without him finding out, as someone just sent me an email saying I won the UK National Lottery! I really am lucky!
28. FAVORITE DRINK? I love "The Pina Colada Song!" Remember it? "I like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain, I'm not much into health food, but I'm into champagne." So I'd have to say my favorite drink is Margaritas.
29. FAVORITE SPORT? Prank calling Mooch.
30. EYE COLOR? Twinklely.
31. FAVORITE FRUIT? Johnny Morton.
32. FAVORITE FOOD? Olive loaf.
33. SCARY MOVIE OR HAPPY ENDING MOVIE? Happy ending! Whee! Wait, we are talking about massages, right?
34. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED AT THE MOVIE THEATER? A documentary about a prison football team, "The Longest Yard." It was really good. You have the phone number for the Mean Machine QB? He showed he was pretty damn talented in that documentary, and between you and me, the Lions need a little help.
35. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? I can't find my shirt. I think they are with my pants. Where are my pants?!
36. SUMMER OR WINTER? Both are lousy names for a chick. I like Beulah.
37. HUGS OR KISSES? JoePa kissed me once. ONCE.
38. FAVORITE DESSERT? The Sahara.
39. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? My buddy Marty Morhinwheg. He's funny. I gave him his start, you know...
40. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? I think Junior bugged my phone, and has people observing me from black stealth Fiso's. But I'm wearing my tin foil hat, so they may not be able to read my mind. So I'll say Steve Mariucci.
41. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING? Do coloring books count? They do! Then, a coloring book with some connect the dots thrown in. It's so hard to stay between the lines, and the dots do confuse me...But I do my best. I really like to make clouds.
42. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? My mouse. Duh.
43. WHAT DID YOU WATCH LAST NIGHT ON TV? That's a stupid question. I sat on the couch, not on the TV!
44. FAVORITE SOUNDS? "With the first overall pick of the NFL Draft, the Detroit Lions take..." I've been longing to hear that for 6 years! I think I'm going to actually be able to hear it in 2007!
45. THE FURTHEST YOU'VE BEEN FROM HOME? Happy Valley. It's a scary and strange place.
46. WHAT'S YOUR SPECIAL TALENT? Evaluating the talent of football players. I can find the worst ones better than anybody in the NFL!
I just don't get the Sarge. Either he's clueless, stubborn, hard-headed, insane, loyal to a fault, or a combination thererof. There's is no other explanation for his blind devotion to Jon Kitna as the Lions' starting QB. Such loyalty would normally be commendable, if it wasn't so self-destructive to the Lions chances.
Doesn't he see the interceptions? The fumbles? The bad reads? THE 10 LOSSES?
I'm not going to say that Kitna is the sole reason for the 10 losses. In fact, Kitna has played well, quite well, at times. Those times being in the 1st thru 3rd quarters. But in too many games he has become a 4th quarter turnover machine, Sunday's Patriots loss being the latest example.
Kitna would be a nice QB on a team that can surround him with good talent. On the free of talent Lions though, Kitna is rapidly becoming a liability. At least 2 losses can be directly attributed to his poor late game play. Kitna, and his 4 th quarter collapses in Minnesota and New England, was the main culprit in both those losses.
In 8 of the Lions' 10 games, Kitna has had 2 or more turnovers. In 7 games, Kitna has more turnovers than TD passes.
That's not a recipe for winning football. But it is Lions football as we've come to know and despise.
The Sarge has put all his eggs in Kitna's basket. When your 2nd string QB is getting on the field only as the number 3 receiver, which is laughable in itself, it's blatantly obvious that Marinelli wants Kitna under center, come Hell, high water, blitzing linebackers, or pissed off Millen haters.
It's that kind of strange decision making that makes me wonder if the Sarge is the Lions long term coaching solution.
The Lions have been mathematically eliminated from the playoffs after Sunday's loss. We all know that the season was over long before then. So why not see what you have in Josh McCown or Dan Orlovsky? They couldn't be any worse than Kitna, right? I'm sorry, I lost my head for a sec. We are talking the Lions, they could definitely be worse.
Even if he benches Kitna, and either Orlovsky or McCown play badly, it's not as if Marinelli's job is in jeopardy. If Millen is retained as GM, God forbid, it's a foregone conclusion that the Sarge will be back in 2007. If Millen gets the ziggy, then it doesn't make much difference what happens on the field, as Millen's replacement (Please God, let it happen) will want his own man on the sidelines.
Despite that, the Sarge has dug in his heels, and will go down with the Kitna led ship.
The beat writers say that the players like Kitna because of his toughness, that's he's a "Gamer," the antithesis of Joey Blue Skies. You'd think they'd rather have a QB that didn't fold like a cheap card table late in games.
As the losses continue to add up, it seems like the Lions have become good at least one thing. Taking blame for defeats.
Marinelli continually says that he's to blame, that it's all on him. Kitna said that Sunday's loss was all his fault. That's all well and good, but it doesn't change the fact that the Lions are sinking fast, and are on the fast track to the NFL's number 1 overall draft pick.
Upon which the Lions will draft Brady Quinn, and then convert him to WR. Because Jon Kitna, is entrenched as the starter.
As an unabashed fan of the Michigan Wolverines, for reasons we are all aware of, "cough BCS cough," I'm not happy today. I will say that I'm not upset with the Florida Gators, or their fans, as I'm sure they would have the same exact feelings as Wolverine fans do today. The BCS was going to ream somebody, it was the Wolverines' turn this season. Michigan joins USC, Auburn, and Oregon, as schools that were left standing at the championship game altar by the BCS.
But there are others that truly deserve our scorn.
Gary Danielson: When did he become a paid shill for Florida and the SEC? His performance during the SEC Championship made the best carnival sideshow barker jealous with his Gator hyperbole. He came off more slanted and biased than Beano Cook was when talking about Ron Powlus' 3 Heisman trophies or the greatness of JoePa. On Saturday night, the SEC had, for all intents and purposes, a paid advertisement on CBS for 3 + hours, with Danielson channeling Ron Popiel...
"It slices, it dices, it wins fluky games! Order now, and we'll throw in a BCS Championship game at no extra cost! Your ballots are standing by, VOTE NOW!"
Danielson did his damnedest to pimp the Gators to the BCS voters. As it turned out, it was one HELL of a sales job. I'm sure he'll get a nice bonus from the SEC.
Urban Meyer: The Gators' coach is damn near as slick as Cheatypants McSweaterVest. As good as a football coach Meyer might be, he makes an even better lobbyist. The running of his mouth continiously for the last 2 weeks, saying that a Michigan - tOSU rematch would be a farce, and that his team was more deserving, paid off in spades. I think Florida was made # 2 by the voters just to shut his whiny ass up. Otherwise, he wouldn't have let up with the"Woe is us" attitude till next September.
The Big Ten: If there ever was an event that should drive the staid Big 10 into making significant scheduling changes, and possibly changing it's makeup, the shuffling of Michigan out of the BCS #2 spot could be the straw that breaks the camels back. Florida had 3 extra weeks to impress the voters, let alone being able to play in a title game. Move the schedule to where U of M meets tOSU after Thanksgiving. Play the extra out of conference game after the tOSU game. Add a 12th team, go to a 2 division setup, and have a championship game. Anything to keep Big 10 teams in the eye of the pollsters. One thing is certain, Michigan not playing, while USC and Florida had the national stage unopposed, gives much credence to Kirk Herbstreit endorsed "Out of sight, out of mind" theory. It's time the Big Tenleven to enter the 21st century.
Harris poll voters: A motley crew of loons, used-to-bes, never-weres, and no-nothings with an agenda, pure and simple. Their vote for Florida was more of a vote against a UM - tOSU rematch, than a vote for the Gators. I thought the BCS was supposed to allow the #1 and #2 teams to meet, not what teams the voters think is "More deserving." If you'd watched either team at all, you'd see that Michigan has played better, more consistent, higher quality ball than Florida. Unfortunately, the moldy Harris voters have been watching "Matlock" reruns instead.
Division 1 college presidents: D1 football is the only college sport without a playoff. The schools are sitting on such a HUGE cash cow. A D1 football playoff would make the NCAA basketball tournament look like the NIT. The networks would back up to NCAA HQ with Brinks trucks full of cash. But no, the school presidents would rather stay with a convoluted, arcane, outmoded, and outright silly way of selecting the top 2 teams in the country. You'd think the heads of these schools of supposed higher learning would know better. Goes to prove that being book smart doesn't make you street smart.
FOX: Their BCS selection show was just plain awful, with a decided slant against the Rose Bowl. As soon as I saw that they had cameras in Gainesville, I knew that Michigan would be left out in the cold. And what's with those poor, clueless souls in Boise? Fill an arena to hear that BSU would play the Sooners? Must have been a damn slow night in Idaho. FOX may not be quite so happy to have the BCS rights when they saw the matchups. The most entertaining game will be the Michigan-USC Runner-up Bowl, which will be televised by ABC, thank God. Never thought I'd say that about the Rose Bowl, but that's what FOX's money has brought upon us.
One thing to keep in mind. Next season, it may be the team that you root for that gets shafted by the BCS. What it all comes down to is that a D1 football playoff makes too much sense for it to ever happen.
You Tube is a wonderful place. Just search any combination of Scrubs + Turk + Poison for an example of its greatness. But...You Tube can also be a very scary and dark place. The following video is an example of such.
TWFE presnts a You Tube find, produced by what has to be the biggest Detroit Lions fan on the planet, a character named Kitna2Furrey. The name alone scares me. What's even scarier is his prediction for this weekends Lions - Pats game. Mr. Kitna2Furrey predicts a shutout. Not for the Patriots, but the for the Lions?
You have been warned, watch at you own risk...
First, before you press play, I have to give one disclaimer. THIS IS NOT ME!
As we all know, William Clay Ford has been silent all season in regard to Matt Millen and his handling of Ford's Detroit Lions. With the season spinning out of control, controversy swirling around Millen's status, and in need of damage control, the Lions front office contacted TWFE. They asked if I'd like to speak to the man, Ford Sr himself, in person.
What follows is our in-depth conversation...
TWFE: I want to thank you for taking the time to talk to TWFE.
WCF: //ZZZZZ//
TWFE: Mr. Ford? Mr. Ford?
WCF: //ZZZZZ...snort...ZZZZZ//
TWFE: Hello?
WCF: //drool//
TWFE: Are you OK? Mr. Ford?
WCF: //wheeze//
TWFE: HEY!!
WCF: //hack...ZZZZZ//
TWFE: William Clay Ford, Jr has just declared Ford Motor bankrupt, your stock is now worthless.
WCF: WHAT! God damn Junior! Call Hoover! I need to talk to the League of Nations! God Damn LIBERALS! Roosevelt is going to ruin this country! Going to Hell in a handbasket. I'm going to have to get with the Skull and Bones Society, have that DAMN Communist taken out with a Gatling gun! Good thing I invested in those bumblebee nickels, I used to say "Give me 5 bees for a quarter!" Those were the days. Now where's the onion for my belt?! Damn LIBERALS! I need a scotch! JEEVES! Scotch, pronto!
TWFE: Sir! Calm down! FoMoCo is still in business. I apologize, Mr. Ford. I just needed to wake you.
WCF: Who the HELL are you!? My new gardener? Here to change my bedpan? Did I ask for a new limo driver? Speak up, boy!
TWFE: Mr. Ford, I'm a blogger from Detroit, a life long Lions fan. I wanted to talk to you abut your Lions.
WCF: What in the HELL is a "Bogger?" You from Louisiana, boy? LOINS? What about my loins? Are you some sort of pervert, boy?
TWFE: THE LIONS, THE LIONS!
WCF: I'm not deaf, boy. Now what about my loins? Did I catch something from that Jew flapper I met during the war? Daddy warned me about...
TWFE: Sir! Not loins! Lions! The NFL team that you own, remember?
WCF: Don't pander to me, boy! What about my footballers? You here to ask why I fired Monte Clark? Go talk to Russ Thomas, boy!
TWFE: Uh, Mr. Ford, Russ Thomas died some 15 years ago. Matt Millen runs your team now.
WCF: Who?
TWFE: Matt Millen, he's president and general manager of your Lions.
WCF: No one manages my loins! Just give me a shot of that new fangled miracle drug, penicillin, and I promise to stay away from those Jew flappers. Now what about my footballers?
TWFE: They are 2-9 right now, and have a good chance of going 2-14.
WCF: 16 games? When did they add 4 games? Damn LIBERALS! Let me ask you a question, boy. Are my footballers making money?
TWFE: Well, I'm told that the TV contract gives each NFL team $100 million a year. Your stadium is sold out for the season. According to Forbes, your team is worth $839 million.
WCF: Goodness, I didn't know that the Dumont Network could afford that kind of money. Those Communists in the AFL trying to horn in on our monopoly must have been good for footballing business. So my footballers are doing well. Good, good, Russ is doing a GREAT job.
TWFE: Financially, yes. On the field though, they are God awful. Matt Millen has taken what was a near playoff team, and run them into the ground. Don't you want to win a title?
WCF: What about Y.A. Tittle? Mara and the Giants would never trade him. I could tell you stories about ol' Wellington Mara! HA! What? Oh yeah, quarterbacks. Russ tells me that Milt Plum is a fine T-formation quarterback. He's clean cut, a right hander, and white. Sounds like a very good QB to me, boy! I'm hearing good things about Bill Munson though, so Milt best look out! I'm glad we didn't draft that Namath character. Russ said he's a damn long haired hippie. JEEVES! Where's my scotch!?
TWFE: Uh...OK... Let's move on. What do you have to say about the "Fire Millen" phenomena? Detroit Lion fans despise Millen. There are websites, protest marches, signs everywhere, the fanbase is revolting, the media wants him gone, everyone is asking you to "Fire Millen."
WCF: Revolting? I agree! They're bastards too! Bunch of blue collar union joining Socialists. No one tells a Ford what to do, boy! No one! If I thought this "Millen" character, as you call him, could do the job managing my team of footballers, then I'm going to let him do so. I'm staying out of it. I'm perfectly happy when I'm down in Florida, drinking scotch by the gallon, counting my bumblebee nickels, and banging flappers. It's good to be a Ford!
TWFE: I'm sure it is, sir.
WCF: Hell yes it is! Those Communist Kennedy's have nothing on the Fords! I need to go drain the snake, where's my pissboy?! PISSBOY!
TWFE: Sir, a couple of more questions, if I could. Are you ever going to fire Matt Millen?
WCF: Who? Are you talking about the square headed goof with the funny mustache? He makes me laugh. I'll keep him around for shits and giggles, and if doing so pisses off the revolting Socialists, then that's all the better. WHERE'S MY SCOTCH DAMMIT!?
TWFE: Last question. Why did you keep Wayne Fontes around so long? He was a clown masquerading as a football coach.
WCF: Clown? Fontes? Who? Oh, you mean Freddy! I called that funny looking guy Fred Flintstone! He gave great foot massages. Told a good joke too. Did he have something to do with my footballers?
TWFE: Thanks for your time, Mr. Ford.
WCF: Who are you? Jeeves, have this man shot immediately.
...in inking Ramon Santiago to a 1 year 500K contract.
Why on earth do I think so?
As it most likely insures that we've seen the last of the Black Hole of Suck, Neifi Perez, as a Tiger. It better insure that, as the Santiago contract would make little sense otherwise. Do the Tigers really need TWO no-hit, good-field utility infielders?
The only other reason for this signing, that I can think of, is that the Tigers won't resign Omar Infante. That would, in my mind, make even less sense as he was one of the few bench players who isn't totally lost at the plate.
The Tigers seem to have a logjam of utility infielders. I'd prefer a logjam of power hitting left handed bats, but you can't have everything...
The Detroit Independent Baseball Scribes, better known as DIBS, named their various Tiger players of the year today.
The winners for 2006:
Player of the Year - Carlos Guillen
Pitcher of the Year - Kenny Rogers
Breakout Player of the Year - Justin Verlander
Postseason Performer - Kenny Rogers
Head over to Tigers Central for the voting breakdown and full DIBS press release.
I read Ian's reasoning for the picks on his DIBS ballot. As I'm in favor of full disclosure, I'll show you how I voted.
Player of the year:
1. Carlos Guillen
2. Kenny Rogers
3. Justin Verlander
MVP awards, fr the most part, go to position players, and Guillen was the Tigers best everyday player. You could easily make a case for Kenny Rogers, and if he had won, I would have had no problem with it. Not that Guillen doesn't deserve the Player of the Year honor. Save for his occasional fielding miscues, Guillen did everything well. It's a shame that Guillen doesn't get the national acclaim he richly deserves. Guillen is just as much the player, if not better than, the media darling that is Derek Jeter. Hopefully the Tigers long playoff run will help to correct that slight, and Guillen will get credit as one of the elite shortstops in MLB.
Pitcher of the year:
1. Kenny Rogers
2. Justin Verlander
3. Todd Jones
As good as Verlander was in his rookie season, and he was good to great for 2/3 of the season, The Gambler was the Tigers best, and most consistent, pitcher overall. He became the stopper that they've lacked since Jack Morris fled to Minnesota. It was a year of redemption for Rogers, he deserved to win this award, in my mind, going away. As much as I ripped on Todd Jones during the regular season, I had to give Todd Jones credit for his 37 saves, despite his knack for causing Tiger fans' hair to gray prematurely.
Breakout player of the year:
1. Justin Verlander
2. Curtis Granderson
3. Joel Zumaya
Verlander won AL Rookie of the Year, was the best pitcher in baseball for a long stretch, and exceeded everyone's already high expectations. When Granderson played well, the Tigers won. When he didn't, neither did the Tigers. In his first full season, Granderson showed that he'll be one of the Tigers' core players for a very long time. Zumaya was unhittable at times, and exciting all the time. But as a middle relief guy, important as his contributions were, I just couldn't bring myself to put him higher on my ballot.
Postseason performer:
1. Kenny Rogers
2. Sean Casey
3. Placido Polanco
To me, this was the no-brainer of the lot. Pine tar or not, Rogers was the star of the postseason. He had a playoff for the ages. Whenever I think of The Gambler's dominating performance against the Yankees in the ALDS, I still smile. The Mayor was the only position player to show up in the World Series, despite being injured. A .529 batting average is definitely considered "Showing up." I wasn't going to hold Polanco's unfortunate World Series performance against him, as he was a constant on-base presence in the first 2 playoff rounds, winning the ALCS MVP in the process. So I couldn't leave him off my ballot, but I had to drop him to 3rd. Plus the GF wouldn't be happy if I had not given Polonco his props, as her "Polly" is by far her favorite ballplayer...
Being away from TWFE for 10 days, I haven't had a chance to comment on the fiscal insanity that has overtaken MLB over the past 2 weeks. After seeing the money owners have been throwing around in a weak free agent market, don't the deals the Tigers cut with Sean Casey and Gary Sheffield look that much better in hindsight?
You have to give Dave Dombrowski credit. He must have seen this craziness coming, moved swiftly, and acted accordingly. Why else would he have not given a second thought to the contract he gave Sheffield? As many were wondering what in the Hell Dombrowski was smoking, the market quickly changed. Sheffield's contract began to look like a bargain, with a sensible length.
As you know, I continually pimped on TWFE for the Tigers to acquire Alfonso Soriano, right up to the trade deadline. But if I had known it was going to take an absolutely crazy type of deal, similar to the contract Juan Gone turned down oh so many years ago, to keep him in the Old English D? To be honest, I might not have been quite so enthusiastic. I can live with Craig Monroe in left field and The Mayor at first for another season. The Cubs will be paying for Soriano's career year for a long, LONG time.
I was on the road with the GF Up North, reading the latest news on my Sprint Fusic, when I first heard about the Astros signing Carlos Lee. After I read the details, the first words out of my mouth were, "Oh my God, what where the Astros thinking?" Obviously, any team that plays the punchless Brad Ausmus full time needs hitting...Desperately.
But come on! We can all agree that Carlos Lee is a very good hitter. I think we can also agree that he's not 6 years at 100 million dollars worth of very good, though. That contract is going to be an albatross on the Astros 3-4 years down the line, especially in the National League, as Lee will be DH material sooner than later. Much sooner. Giving Sheffield, who is a better bat than Lee, those extra 2 years at 13 million per suddenly seems more than reasonable.
I wasn't at all happy to see Jamie Walker leave the Tigers. He has been a solid situational reliever for several years. But you don't give LOOGY's multi-year, 12 million dollar contracts, let alone to one that is 36 years old. I'm happy for Walker in that he got his one big payday, but I'm even happier that it won't be the Tigers paying him. It won't be that hard for the Tigers to find a replacement.
Those are just 3 examples of baseball's out of control spending. And there is no sign that it's going to stop. When JD Drew finally signs, and from all accounts, it's going to be a massive contract, I'm positive that will just leave us shaking our heads, wondering how much money the owners must be making to allow them to make such silly, shortsighted deals.
So I'm not upset that the Tigers have been sitting out the insanity. You might say that it's not my money, so what's the big deal in spending it? You don't go crazy in an already crazy market when you have core players due for BIG raises in the next couple of seasons. Jeremy Bonderman, Carlos Guillen, Brandon Inge, and Craig Monroe, to name just a few, are due for big money, multi-year deals. I don't want to see the Tigers hamstrung by a series of questionable contracts, either in dollar amount, length, or both, as they were after Dean Palmer, Damion Easley and Bobby Higginson were signed. Talk about dead money...
There's nothing wrong with the Tigers current method of operation. It's not as if the Tigers are being cheap, as their payroll is going to be in the 90 million range, and going higher by the season. And as shown by the signings of Pudge, Ordonez, and Sheffield, the Tigers have shown that they aren't afraid to give out above market deals. They are playing their dollar cards close to the vest, strategically targeting players they think will help, without strangling their future flexibility.
It just goes to show that the Tigers own Nostradamus, Dave Dombrowski, is smarter than the average bear, or should I say, Cub.
I think there are bush-league things that happen in this league, and then there's what happened at Ford Field on Thanksgiving with former Lions quarterback Joey Harrington. The Miami defense was introduced before the game to the tune of "Piano Man,'' a snide reminder of Harrington's skill at playing the piano. Then, after the final Miami defender got introduced, the PA man introduced Harrington -- to tremendous boos. You either introduce the defense or the offense, and not both, and when Harrington was introduced, the PA guy was introducing a guy who wasn't there to be introduced. Obviously it was done to whip the home crowd into a frenzy against a guy who tried as hard as he could in his four Detroit years and just failed miserably. What a bullying, crass and bush-league stunt. Stupid, classless, and very, very small.
