Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Why is O.J. Simpson on my TV?

Before you start, I'm issuing a rare TWFE NSFW language warning!

A few minutes ago I decided to flip by the only property of the worldwide leader worth watching on an consistent basis, ESPN News. I was thinking that I might hear some new MLB free agency news, catch a few highlights I may have missed from last night, or something more regarding the Ricky Williams reinstatement. And what do I see?

ESPN News is broadcasting LIVE coverage of the O.J. Simpson preliminary hearing over his kidnapping/memorabilia brewhaha in Vegas.

All I can say is...What. The. Fuck?

This bullshit belongs on Court TV, not anywhere on my TV.

If there is one thing on the earth I couldn't give a more of a shit about, it is O.J. Simpson. Well, there is one thing I could give less of a shit about than O.J. Simpson. Coverage of any O.J. Simpson hearing.

Just go far, far away, you money-grubbing, murdering, son of a bitch!

Save that he was once, long, long ago, an elite athlete, what does this trial/hearing/judge and prosecutor attention whoring remotely have to do with sports? Not a God damn thing. Just because Simpson won a Heisman Trophy 5 generations ago doesn't mean anything and everything involving this stone dumb asshole needs to be broadcast on the 4 letter.

Simpson hasn't had anything remotely to do with sports in a couple of decades, whenever he was last stumbling his way though the Monday Night Football booth. He hasn't been relevant since his days with the Buffalo Bills. The highlight of his sad post-football career, other than murdering 2 innocent people, was the "Naked Gun" movies.

Christ, I'd rather see the ancient Lt. Frank Drebin, Leslie Nielson, make fart jokes on ESPN News than have even another second of so-called news regarding O.J. Simpson force fed to me by a media entity that thinks a large percentage of sports fans actually care.

Memo to the 4 letter...WE DON'T CARE. We don't give a flying fuck! Simpson just needs to go. Period.

For all I care, Vegas police should just toss Simpson in jail, then throw away the key, on general principle. The world would be a much better place if we never heard anything regarding that dumb ass killer ever again. The fact that I'm even writing about this piece of shit makes me want to take a scalding hot shower, then scrub the slime and scum off of me.

Is ESPN News so ratings challenged that they have to go for the lowest common denominator types that watch celebrity trials? That's a rhetorical question, as the fact that this hearing is on a SPORTS channel that I have to pay EXTRA money for makes the answer perfectly clear.

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