Monday, July 17, 2006

"Delusional" defined: Wobb Parker thinks he is smarter than Jim Leyland

Wobb Parker can't seem to make up his mind, which is a problem for a so-called "Sooper Dooper Geenus" "Columnist." First off, he rags on the Cigarette Smoking Man for resting starters on Sunday.

But on Sunday, Leyland, with good intentions, simply goofed. And it not only probably cost his team a victory, but another important game in the American League Central standings.

With Pudge Rodriguez, Placido Polanco and Magglio Ordonez -- three of the Tigers' best everyday players -- on the bench being rested, the Tigers lost 9-6 to the lowly Kansas City Royals at Comerica Park.

First off, about resting players. Leyland says that Maggs and Polonco were hurting, and he rarely, if ever, plays Pudge in day games following a night tilt. You also have your biggest rival for a playoff spot coming in to play 3 of the most important baseball games this town has seen in nearly 2 decades. Following that, the first place team in the AL west is in town. Factor in as well the fact that there is a day off today, which gives players an extra day of rest. Don't forget that the weather is hotter than a naked Jessica Alba.

I'd prefer that Leyland err on the side of caution, rather than ride the veteran players like one would a naked Jessica Alba, and wait for them to go on the DL. If you are going to sit players, when in the Hell else are you going to do so, if not against the awful Royals?

So what if Parker thinks Leyland screwed up by not playing his best lineup? Because, in another article, he goes off in the polar opposite direction.

In the delusional one's weekly give and take with Tom Gage (I hope Gage gets "Combatting stupidity" pay for putting up with Parkers insanity.) Parker feels that the Tigers should bring Dmitiri Young back from rehab, and let him solve his swing woes in the big leagues.

Gage. Dmitri Young has to hit his way back onto the Tigers because manager Jim Leyland said, "This is a place for production." Do you think he will?

Parker. Yes, Dmitri has always been able to hit. I don't think you lose that. It's just a matter of whether they'll give him enough time to get his swing back.

G. How much time is enough time?

P. A couple of weeks.

G. A couple of more weeks?

P. A couple of weeks in the big leagues.

G. I thought he might even be back from his rehab assignment this week. Now I seriously doubt it.

Wait a sec. Didn't Parker just ream the Marlboro Man for NOT playing his best lineup against the Royals? Yet he thinks that the Tigers should insert Dmitri Young, a clubhouse cancer, who was last hitting .169 with no power when he went off on a bender, back in the lineup? Dmitri Young, who has shown no signs of life during his rehab stint in the minors?

Parker, lucidity long gone, thinks that it would be best to let let a .169 hitting player with no defined position, who would take playing time away from Craig Monroe, and even worse, Marcus Thames, figure out how to hit again DURING A PENNANT RACE? That's putting your best lineup the field? Come on.

That's not just stupid, it's pure unadaultered insanity. Spewing that nonsense makes Pat Caputo look like Norman Einstein, and the Little Fella appear to care about sports. It's so insane that even Matt Millen wouldn't think it's a good idea...

Parker has become, much like Millen, functionally retarded.

1 comment:

  1. My moles are telling me that Parker sucks ass.....