Attention viewers of Cold Pizza, and 1st & 10! Rob Parker alert! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!

WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!

I'm giving advance notice to the viewers of the worldwide leader's Cold Pizza and 1st & 10. Consider yourselves at DEFCON 1!

Last night on WDIV TV's weekend wrap up show, Sports Final Edition, there was announcement that chilled viewers to the bone. The consensus worst columnist in America, Rob Parker, let it be known that he had been asked to return to Cold Pizza, and will be polluting your screens this coming Thursday and Friday.

If you missed Parker's previous week long stay on Cold Pizza, consider yourself damn lucky. If you are curious as to why the urgent warning, let me direct you to this post for the full Parker primer.

Please, for all that is good and holy, take this warning with utmost seriousness. If you value such things as common sense, lucidity, and actual sports knowledge, you'll avoid the deuce like the plague.

Remember, forewarned is forearmed...