College football season is here! Time to watch the Wolverines kick some Appalachian ass...What?

Oh, I can't see the Big 10 game I want to watch? You're kidding me, right? No shit? Not even on the WWLiS's Gameplan? Only on the Big 10 Network, which I'm more than willing to pay for, but I can't get? I'm stuck listening to lame ass Michigan mouthpieces Frank Beckmann and Jim Brandstatter on the radio? My only home TV option to watch Sparty on the deuce? Sparty?

Well... Fuck me...

That's how I'm feeling as we go into the first weekend of the college football season.

For the past few decades, on a normal college football Saturday, you'd find me in front of the tube at noon sharp. Beer and munchies in hand, I'd flip to one of the wolrldwide leader's channels, and tune in the Michigan Wolverines.

This season, I'm one of the of fans caught in a pissing match between mega conglomerates. The Big 10, the most pretentious and heavy handed group of schools in the nation, has drawn a line in the sand with their Big 10 Network. The cable companies, whom I despise, yet am forced to deal with as I have no other option, refuse to cross it.

Meanwhile, hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of Big 10 fans, are caught in a war of money, words, and power, unable to watch our favorite teams.


I've let Charter (My cable provider) know that I would very much like them to carry the B10N. all I've heard in return is bullshit mumbo jumbo, saying that it's being "Considered."

When it comes down to it, it's all about the money. In regard to the B10N pricing, this is what a Comcast rep had to say in today's Ann Arbor News...

"We don't feel that every customer should be burdened with a $1.10 month charge. There are a lot of customers that don't want to pay $13 a year."

Mr. Cable Mouthpiece says they have customers that don't want to pay for the B10N. That's all well and good. But guess what? I don't want to pay for 3 shopping networks, Court TV, the Hallmark Channel, Fit TV, the totally superfluous TV Guide Network, and countless other channels that I NEVER watch, and will NEVER have an interest in watching. Yet I have no choice in having to pay for those channels if I want to see networks I enjoy, like ESPN, FSN, FX, TNT, and Comedy Central.

You can't tell me that the B10N doesn't has as much, if not more, viewership potential than Fit fucking TV, or the "Why do I need a channel for TV listings when I have a built in on screen guide?" TV Guide Channel.

The cable conglomerates are totally talking out of both sides of their mouths on this argument. They claim they are doing us a favor by refusing to charge viewers extra for channels they don't watch (Like the B10N), but they have already been doing so to viewers for decades! (See any niche network you have programmed out of your favorites button, like Fit TV)

Not that I'm letting the holier-than-thou Big 10 off the hook. As much as they deny it, you know part of their not well thought out plan to gain basic cable traction in the Big 10 "Footprint" with the cable cartel was to have the Big 10 fanbase do the dirty work for them.

The bitching and moaning about our inability to watch the Wolverines/Buckeyes/Nittany Lions/Your favorite team would hopefully cause a consumer backlash, one with so much vitriol, that the cable monoliths would have no choice but to capitulate to the Big 10's wishes.

There's one small flaw in the Big 10's nefarious plan to become the biggest, baddest, most influential college conference in the land. They forgot that the cable companies have government awarded monopolies, and they couldn't honestly give 2 shits about their customers, and what their customers might like to watch.

You just need to spend 5 minutes on the phone with them to figure that out...

I'm willing to pay for it, so just give me my God damn Big 10 Network! Enough with the posturing, the press releases, the arguing back in forth in the media, as I have no sympathy for either side. Both are wrong, both are stubborn, both have more money than they know what to do with, and both are screwing over the people that give them all that money in the first place.

A pox on both their houses...

That's not the only cable incompetence I've had to deal with recently. This week, Charter threw we sports fans a bone, and added ESPNU! As Chris Farley would say, "Whoop-de-freakin'-do!"

ESPNU is just another network I'll rarely watch, though I'm paying through the nose for it. But I'll give them credit, it is a sports channel, and it has some live programming worth tuning in to see. It ain't the B10N, but it's a start.

As I investigated my new lineup, there was a surprise. Charter had bumped ESPN Classic off of basic. But where in the Hell is it? You'll never guess where I found it...

I do pay for an admittedly lame digital sports tier. You'd think that ESPN Classic, being a SPORTS NETWORK, would be moved to that sports tier. Nope, it was moved to a tier with likes of Woman's Entertainment, BET Jazz, and the Reelz Channel? What the fuck is the Reelz Channell? I'm already paying Charter WELL over a $100 a month, and they expect me to pay for that crap on top of it? Please.

Once again, the sports fans gets bent over by the cable company the Big 10 large, money grubbing, corporate asses.

Fun with the "Simpsonizer"

In an attempt to keep myself from doing anything useful tonight, I figured I'd play around with the "Simpsonizer."

My first attempt was Jim Leyland. Not bad, but he needs a Marlboro! But the only way to have him smoking was to add the pipe, so a pipe it is...

Next on the agenda was Rod Marinelli. I really like this one! No, I LOVE this one! It nailed "Mr. Pound The Rock." I barely had to do a thing...

For some reason, my attempt at "Simpsonizing" Matt Millen had him come out looking more like a demented John Waters. Being unable to add a wispy porn 'stache was my undoing...

Next was the patron saint of TWFE, Wayne Fontes. Not bad, not bad at all. Actually, to capture the true essence of the Big Buck, I need a "Fred Flintstoneizer." Seriously, the internet needs a "Flintstoneizer."

Last and definitely least, me. A "Simpsonized" Big Al has me looking like I belong on some sex offender list. "Hey baby, what's your sign?"

The 2nd annual "Rod Allen: A running diary"

Last season, with the help of a DVR and quick typing skills, I did a running diary of Detroit Tigers color man Rod Allen's wit and wisdom spewed during a game with the Chicago White Sox. (My favorite from last year? "I'm afraid of speed, don't like motorsickles.")

I really enjoyed doing that post, so I figure it's time to once again honor the man, the legend, the ass kicker of Japanese pitchers, the man that has damaged the liver of many a college student with the "Rod Allen Drinking Game," the former '84 Tiger and current FSD baseball "Expert", Roderick Bernet "Rod" Allen. Be prepared for even more...Deep thoughts! Drama! Laughs! Hyperbole! Controversy! Confusion! Clichés!

It's gametime, the Detroit Tigers facing the Kansas City Royals in KC, with straight man Mario Impemba and the impeccable Rod Allen calling the action!

1st inning

(Granderson singles) "It's gonna be a good day!"

"We may see some aggression from Jim Leyland..."

Rod announces there is "No humidity" in KC today!

(About KC's starting pitcher, Nunez) "96 with that last fastball?" (Rod sounds confused...)

"Where's he getting that 96 MPH fastball from?" (Rod sounds agitated!)

(About Sheffield's rehab) "Well, they could use him, that's for sure..." (Rod trails off the end of the sentence sounding wistful..)

(About KC journeyman Jason Smith) "He keeps finding big league jobs!" (Rod sounds incredulous!)

(Jeremy Bonderman's stats are flashed on screen) "Yes, he was 10 and 1!" (Rod's disgusted!)

(Close up of Bonderman) "He's relaxing out there. You see him take 4 or 5 deep breaths?"

(About Bonderman's 1st inning issues) "He's got that look in his eyes that Verlander had a few games ago! (Rod is enthused!)

2nd inning

(Talking about a pre-game hitting discussion with Brandon Inge) "He wants to get back to landing real softly on that front toe." (Rod is a batting coach!)

(Cameron Maybin singles!) "Speakin' of jerkin', he took whatever that was, and jerked it back into the pull field!"

(Maybin tags, goes to 3rd on a fly ball to medium left field) "Wow...Wow! That's speed!" (Rod is quite happy!)

(Shot of a kid in the stands who looks longingly a foul ball juuust out of reach) "Dad, help me!"

(Inge throws out a runner from deep 3rd) "He's got some athleticism too, throwin' flat footed!" (Rod, with his daily use of the "Inge is a good athlete cliche'.")

(Bonderman gets a K!) "I'm not sure what that was..." (Rod's confused about the pitch!)

Third inning

"The future could be bright for Mr. Nunez!" (Rod looks into the future, sees KC pitchers...)

Magglio Ordonez just misses an opposite field home run, yet Rod says nothing... Rod just sits in stunned silence.

(Mario gushes about the year former Tiger Carlos Pena is having in Tampa) "What a great year for a great GUY!"

(Ramon Santiago throws out a runner from the hole at short) "Throws a clothesline back across the field, that's arm strength!" (Rod is quite impressed!)

(Bonderman's pitch count is shown) "Jeremy is very economical with his strikes and balls..."

4th inning

(The Royals' mascot is shown manhandling a kid in the stands) "You can't spank kids now days, go to jail!" (Rod shows his concern for the safety of the kids of America from rampaging mascots!)

(On fans confusing Mike Rabelo and Ryan Raburn) "They don't look alike!"

(Inge's month by month AVE is shown) "You have to use the entire field, or you become too easy to pitch to..."

(Talking about George Brett in 1980) ".454 on base percentage? WOW!" (Rod sounds jealous...)

(After KC's Billy Butler triples) "Gettin' ready to say he don't hit many of those..."

(Talking about Tony Pena Jr's penchant for hacking) "His daddy didn't walk a whole lot either...You know what they say, the apple don't fall far from the tree!"

(Inge scoops up a ground ball for the 3td out) "Got some nice feet down at that position."

5th inning

(Nunez gets a K) That fastball had some hair on it! MAN! (Rod's quite impressed!)

(Granderson goes yard!) "Granderson absolutely clobbered it!" (Rod is joyful!)

(Just before Nunez's first pitch after the HR) "Let's see if Mr. Nunez puts a wrinkle in a couple..." (Placido Polanco immediately doubles, no wrinkles Rod!)

(In regard to Granderson's HR nearly landing in the KC fountains) "That's big boy territory..." (Rod is seriously impressed!)

(Timo Perez hits an RBI double to deep center!) "That's pretty good power by TEE-MO!"

(Maggs hits a ball high off the left field foul pole, 2 run tater!) "You see Magglio will that ball to stay fair, which it does!"

(Now 5-1 Tigers) "They may as well score as many runs as you can..." (Big Al: Huh?)

(Inge makes a very nice play on a foul pop to short left) "I think Brandon took that personally!" (Rod likes revenge!)

(Santiago bare hands a ground ball up the middle, gets the out!) "More nice footwork!" (Well, it's become obvious that Rod likes the footwork! Go figure.)

(In regard to Bonderman's recent struggles) "He just needs to somehow and someway get a win today." (The 2nd time Rod has used this line today...)

6th inning

Rod's been awful quiet in the top of the 6th. Almost too quiet. 2 outs, nothing. The half inning ends with nothing from Rod! WHERE'S ROD ALLEN!?

(Rod's back!) His (Bonderman's) pitches by inning is outstanding today!"

(Guillen and Bonderman combine on a nice play at 1st, as Bondy tumbles over the bag) "I think he was more scared than anything!" "Bonderman was surprised he didn't get stepped on!" "OH MY GOODNESS!" (Rod is scared!)

(The replay shows KC's Smith leaping over a sprawled out Bonderman) "You can clip a hurdle as long as you don't knock it down! //giggle//"

Rod goes on to say something about Guillen having "The feet" to play 1st base. Rod loves him some footwork!

(Talking about moving Guillen to 1st full time) "Santiago hasn't made an error in as 'bout as long as Polanco!" (Rod loves him some Ramon Santiago!)

7th inning

(Granderson singles) "When Curtis is rollin', the offense is much more efficient..."

Rod spends the next 5 minutes talking about pitchout strategy...

(Granderson just beats a pickoff throw) "Granderson is getting a maximum lead!" (Rod likes it!)

(Talking about the Tigers missing Sheff's presence) "Not to mention his baserunning skee-ills"

(Looks at the upcoming schedule, sees the mid September games with the Indians) "Those will be HUGE...We hope." (Rod's concerned...)

(A Magglio RBI single!) "He's a HITTING machine!"

(Nunez is out of the game for KC, and not happy about it!) "He threw his glove, then he threw is glove again, then he took it out on his hat!" (Rod is tickled!)

(Nunez is shown throwing his cap) "HMM-HUH!" (Rod does sound effects! Is there anything Rod can't do?)

(Polanco makes a nice play on a ground ball in short right field) "The infielder's been flashing some leather!" (Rod is quite happily impressed!)

(Inge with some leather, gets the out!) Brandon's got a pretty quick first step!" "If he's got to leave his feet, he doesn't get him at 1st!" (Rod is obsessing over footwork!)

(Mario is talking about the speed of KC's Gaithright from home to 1st) "That's flyin'!" "Track star, probably..." (Rod is aghast!)

Rod goes on to talk about the difference between Bonderman's 2 seam and 4 seam fastball. Rod likes the 4 seamer! "He throws it for strikes!"

8th inning

(KC's catcher stops a pitch with his neck) "Ouch." (Rod shows no sympathy for the opposition!)

Rod is claiming that it's easier for pitchers to make the jump from the low minors to the majors than position players during Maybin's at bat. Sure thing, Rod...

Rod quotes the Marlboro Man about Kenny Rogers effect on the rotation, and not just his helping the young pitchers - "He won 17 games last year...That's what we miss most!" Rod agrees...

(Bonderman is done for the day) "He had that look in his eye from the first pitch of the game." (Rod is suitably impressed!)

(Speaking about Fernando Rodney's early issues) Now he's healthy. He wasn't being truthful..." (Rod can handle the truth!)

Rod asks Mario about Bonderman's first pitch strikes, told he was 17-27. "That's good, good!"

Rod learns that Mario's fantasy football draft is after the Tigers' series in Oakland, but he's curious if college fantasy football is as big. Mario schools Rod on FF. Obviously Rod has better things to do than play fantasy sports!

9th inning

(Polanco doubles!) "Boy, does he swing a magic wand! Unbelievable!" (Rod sounds content. This game is over.)

Mario pimps the upcoming Oakland series, Rod advises the fans to, "Get a power nap during the day!" Damn straight, Rod! Sage advice...

(Zumaya in for the bottom of the 9th, Rod gets serious) "He looks like a complete pitcher now, which is the blueprint he needs to follow till his arm strength comes back." (I hope Zumaya gets the advice given from God Rod!)

(Shot of some comely female Wayne State U Tigers fans in the KC stands) "They got the faces painted an every-thang!" (Rod likes what he sees!)

Rod gets quiet again, Mario calls the final outs. Tigers win, 6-1!

Post game

(Granderson is the Tiger player of the game) "When he goes, the team goes." "Another fine performance by their very talented center fielder." (Rod has given Granderson his blessing, he should be honored!)

As always, Rod scores big with his wit and wisdom. And that's it for Rod and Mario from KC, and for yours truly from TWFE HQ... Keep up the nice footwork, folks!

After the past 2 dissappointing efforts...

...I'm seriously beginning to wonder how much the Tigers have left in the tank. Tonight's 5-0 loss to the Royals was about as lifeless as it gets. It was a boring game, with little to no energy.

Of course, being 5 runs down almost immediately after the first pitch had something to do with the blase' effort. The game felt over after the 1st inning. For a team that is steadily going backwards in the standings, I just don't feel the sense of urgency that you think would be there. I know that I didn't see a playoff team, at least tonight I didn't. Your eyes don't lie.

Andrew Miller's ugly performance, or lack thereof, was just another example of the starting pitching going right in the tank. I honestly don't trust anyone in the rotation, even Justin Verlander, to give the Tigers a quality start. It's gotten that bad.

I'm at a loss as to what's going on with this team. I know injuries have taken a toll, but to the point where the Tigers are now playing like a 2nd division team? They aren't this bad, shouldn't be this bad, but the record since the All-Star break says differently. For going on 6 weeks, save for the series against the Yankees, nothing has gone right for the Tigers. Absolutely nothing.

I don't have a clue as to what's wrong at this point, and I don't think Jim Leyland does either. Why else would he be playing Timo Perez? It's as if he's just grasping at straws, hoping for a some sort of jolt, something to snap them out of their stupor.

If the Tigers have a run left in them, now's the time. Being 4.5 games out with less than a month left in the season is not insurmountable. It's not insurmountable if the Tigers play anywhere near their supposed capabilities, that is. Thanks to injuries, slumps, mental issues, Timo Perez, and who knows what else, you have to wonder if what we are seeing from this team over the past 6 weeks is all that they are capable of doing.

I hope that's not true, but the Tigers are running out of time to prove otherwise.

Answering the Detroit Tigers' "Burning questions," volume 7

Good Lord, Lynn Henning has been one prolific SOB as of late. We had another edition of his "Burning questions" in today's Detroit News. That's his 3rd in less than a week. Hey, I'm all for it, as I'm always a whore for a blog topic, and it's better than alternative, reading about the Lions, right?

So I have no choice but to continue my schtick my continuing series of answering Henning's on fire queries. And awaaay we goooo!

Burning questions as the Tigers try to play catch-up against the Cleveland Indians in a nervous Central Division chase

Q: Why should the Tigers concede anything to Cleveland with a month to go? Hasn't the prevailing wisdom all along been that the Tigers are a better team than the Indians?

Henning: Perspective changes as a team's fortunes change. The Indians have the best double-barrel shotgun any defender of first place could ask for in their one-two starting pitching tandem of C.C. Sabathia and Fausto Carmona.

In Sabathia and Carmona, the Indians have two of the hottest pitchers in baseball, which is precisely the one-two punch any team wants to take into the final month of a pennant race.

The Tigers can get big pitching efforts from time to time, as Justin Verlander proved Monday. But minus Kenny Rogers and his consistency, the Tigers are looking at an extremely rough assignment in trying to counter the Indians and Sabathia-Carmona.

Big Al: The Tigers are better that the Indians. On paper, and when fully healthy. Give me the Tigers roster over Cleveland's next year as well. But on the field, it's a different story, as Cleveland has found their stride. They are currently the better team, while Detroit is not playing well at all.

Henning is right, the Tigers have no one in the rotation stepping up, unlike the Tribe's Sabathia and Carmona. Jeremy Bonderman is baseball's biggest enigma. Andrew Miller is a kid, and is pitching like one. Nate Robertson is a world beater in one start, then blows in the next 2. Chad Durbin is a career journeyman. Kenny Rogers and Jair Jurrjens are on the DL. Only Justin Verlander has shown anything recently, and even he's been consistent in his inconsistency.

The Tigers starting pitching, and as a whole, have been trending down for more than 5 weeks. Another week or 2 of bad baseball, and the season will be, if not over, on the brink.

Q: Weren't the Tigers able to overcome a prohibitive favorite in 1987 when they stole a playoff spot in the regular season's final week?

Henning: Sure, but a couple of factors entered into the equation. The Toronto Blue Jays absolutely came apart like a cheap suit in the regular season's waning days. Everybody pressured out. Also, Detroit had very good starting pitching down the stretch with Jack Morris, Doyle Alexander, Frank Tanana, and Dan Petry.

It's unlikely the Indians will go to pieces as Toronto did 20 years ago, although their offense has been curiously missing on too many occasions when Sabathia or Carmona, to name only two, pitched beautifully and still lost.

The Tigers need two things to happen as they try to stay within a stride or two of Cleveland: They need Rogers to return and pitch Rogers-style, even if it's only for the regular season's final two weeks. They also need Gary Sheffield back.

Minus those two, it's going to be a rough mission for the Tigers.

Big Al: The wild finish to 1987 is a big reason why I refuse to think the Tigers are out of the race till they are literally out of the race. Being too young to remember the 1967 Tigers, the last 2 weeks of the '87 season was the most exciting end to a Detroit season I've ever witnessed, by any of our teams, in any sport. It was THRILLING!

You think this this season is stressful? This is nothing compared to '87. Those of you too young to remember, or who weren't yet around, you just have no idea what a white knuckle ride that season truly was. I can only hope you have the chance to experience such a thing...

But as Henning said, there are a few significant differences between 1987 and the present. In '87, the Tigers basically played the Blue Jays in a best of 7 series over the final 2 weekends of the season. The Tigers won out, 4-3 and clinched the east on the final day of the season. They were also helped along by the Jays going 1-6 over the final week.

The 1987 Blue Jays choked, big time. The Tigers took advantage. Lightening like that doesn't often strike twice, so I wouldn't count on the Indians folding like a cheap ass card table.

These Tigers aren't so lucky in havinvg their own destiny in their hands, as they are done playing Cleveland by mid September. They are going to need help to catch them, let alone play damn well themselves.

As Henning also mentioned, the Tigers had an excellent veteran rotation that was hitting on all cylinders down the stretch in '87. The current Tigers rotation are struggling with both their youth and injuries. That thought is driven home as I watch Andrew Miller have an awful 1st inning in KC, leaving the game with 2 out in the 1st inning, and down 5-0. Ugh, I need a beer.

God damn, the Tigers miss having Kenny Rogers right now. Same goes for Gary Sheffield. The 1987 Tigers were relatively healthy, the 2007 Tigers are far from it.

Cleveland is far from being a juggernaut. But they are playing better than the Tigers, and are much healthier. Detroit isn't out of time, but they need time to heal, and time to catch the Tribe. But time stops for no one, especially in a pennant race.

Without question, the Tigers have their work cut out for them.

Q: Did the Tigers get rid of Craig Monroe too early? Did they make a blunder in calling up Cameron Maybin prematurely?

Henning: On the issue of Monroe, the feeling here is the same as it was the day the move was made. Monroe had shown for too many weeks that he was no longer a run-producer. That simple. You can't retain in your batting order an outfielder who has gone months without hitting.

As for Maybin, the Tigers probably got carried away with his talent at a point they were in need of a jolt. But I had no problem with the decision because of Maybin's exceptional talent and speed, no matter how rough he has looked in the early going, which has been rough, indeed.

Another dividend is that Maybin knows what it takes to play in the big leagues. That will mean everything when he returns to the minors next spring, which he almost certainly will for a final dress rehearsal ahead of rejoining the Tigers for good.

Big Al: No. Monroe was toast. In fact, the Tigers let Monroe dig himself into a hole a few weeks too long, hoping against hope he would find his swing. C-Mo never did, and the Tigers had no other option than to cut their losses.

As much as we liked Craig "His Clutchiness" Monroe here at TWFE, we knew that he was nothing more than a place holder in left, not the long term solution. The Tigers decided to let him walk a couple of months early, as he wasn't coming back in 2008 anyway. There was no way the Tigers were going to offer him arbitration, and it was obvious he was no longer useful as a Tiger.

Unfortunately, Monroe had turned left field into a offensive black hole, and combined with the injury to Gary Sheffield, it left the Tigers no choice than to give Maybin a shot. He's shown flashes of his immense talent, but for the most part, has looked the part of any other 20 year old rookie who's first cup of MLB coffee has shown that he needs a little more seasoning.

I agree that Maybin will start 2008 in the minors. But he will be up for good, sooner than later. Let's say, off the top of my head, by mid 2008.

As for who should be Monroe's replacement? Why either Ryan Raburn or Marcus Thames aren't in left field full time is an absolute mystery to me. I'd be fine with either player, or a combination of the 2, patrolling left. Yet for some reason that I, nor anyone else, can fathom, Timo Perez was called up this week, and is playing full time. What. The. Fuck?!

All Rayburn has done since coming up from Toledo is hit, hit, hit and hit. Then he hits some more. Yet Timo Perez was in left last night.

Then there's Marcus Thames, who has the most power on the team, and was playing the best ball of his career before he went on the DL. Yet Leyland has not seen fit to insert Thames back in the lineup on a daily basis. But once again, Timo Perez is in the lineup tonight.

Perez should be pinch running, a late inning defensive replacement, and an occasional pinch hitter. Nothing more, especially in the middle of a pennant race! Leyland's Timo Perez fetish is baffling to me, just plain baffling. I get pissed just thinking about it.

Q: Was there anything to Tigers manager Jim Leyland moving Maybin to center field for the final innings of Monday night's game?

Henning: It made sense. Give the kid a chance to return to his natural position for a couple of innings, just to see how he fares. Maybin's adjustment to left field -- rather, his inability to adjust to left field -- caught the Tigers by surprise.

They failed to appreciate that a kid two years out of high school who has played center field exclusively in his brief minor league career was going to have a tough transition to a position that is much different in the big leagues, mostly because of lights, expanse, and slight differences in momentum and footwork. It has kept fans from seeing Maybin's otherwise powerful throwing arm.

Big Al: There was nothing to it, no mind games being played by Leyland, other than building up Maybin's confidence. In my mind, Curtis Granderson is the center fielder of the present, and the future. Considering the gold glove caliber defense played byGranderson over the past 2 seasons, it would be silly, stupid, asinine, and just plain dumb to move the proven Granderson to left for the talented, but unproven, Maybin.

Watching Maybin stumble around left field has me wondering why he wasn't playing more in left while in Lakeland or Erie. Sure, Maybin is an uber-prospect, but the Tigers have one of the best center fielders in all of baseball in Granderson.

All the variables mentioned by Henning had Maybin looking more like a Has-bin in left field. We all know that he has the capabilities and work ethic to learn the position, this is just one step in the learning process. Maybin has entire off season to work on his outfield routes, starting with the Arizona Fall League. (That's if, God forbid, the Tigers don't make the post season.)

Q: If Maybin seems destined for more seasoning in the minors in 2008, don't the Tigers need a left fielder heading into next season?

Henning: That would be a correct deduction. Anyone who thinks this offseason is going to be quiet in Comerica Park's executive offices better buckle their seat belts. A whole lot of shaking's going on, even as this season plays out.

Big Al: Will the Tigers look for a left fielder in this offseason? The short answer is, "Duh." The long answer? "Are you stupid crazy? Of course the Tigers will be on the prowl for a left hand hitting left fielder! Duh!"

As Maybin doesn't appear ready for prime time, a left fielder, preferably one who swings left handed, will one of the offseason's main priorities. I'd love to see someone who could platoon with Thames. A Frank Catalanotto / David Dellucci type would be a nice fit. They would have been a nice fit this season as well, but the Tigers ended up doing nothing in shoring up their left hand hitting issues. That can't happen in this coming off season.

Expect the decade long search for a 1st baseman with more than 3 home run a season power, or moving Carlos Guillen to 1st and acquiring a slick fielding shortstop to be the Tigers other off season priority.

Personally, I don't like the idea of Guillen becoming a full time 1st sacker. But that's another post for another set of "Burning questions!"

Timo Perez is NOT a number 3 hitter

Jim Leyland is a great manager, no question about it. I love the fact that he smokes like a chimney, and is totally unashamed about it. He has a sense of humor, and doesn't take himself overly seriously, unlike some other managers. cough//LaRussa//cough

I give the Marlboro Man well deserved kudos on a regular basis, and he gets the benefit of the doubt from me 99.9% of the time. What follows is the .1%...

Why on earth is Timo Perez, and his .143 hitting 4A player ass, batting 3rd for the Tigers tonight!? There is no legitimate reason for Perez to be hitting so high in the order. None whatsoever.

To be honest, I wondered why Perez was brought up to begin with, as he did not do a damn thing in his first go around with the big club. Whatever, he's the 25th man. Thing is, THE 25TH MAN ON THE ROSTER SHOULD NOT BE HITTING IN THE 3 SLOT! NEVER! NO WAY, NO HOW!

I can only think of a couple of reasons as to why the Cigarette Smoking Man would do such a bizarre thing. It's thanks to either his odd obsession with refusing to move players around in the batting order, or he's smoking blunts.

My money is on the blunts. It makes more sense than his batting order fetish.

Answering the Detroit Tigers' "Burning questions," volume 6

Well, Detroit News columnist, and supposed Detroit Tigers expert," Lynn Henning surprised us with a special Monday edition of his "Burning questions" column.

Since my beer drinking got in the way of answering last Thursday's questions, I felt compelled to answer the latest odd, strange, and semi-interesting set of questions burning a hole in Henning's skull. At least he's moved on from kvetching about the bullpen, so we finally go in a new direction in our dissection.

On with the flaming answers...

Q : Are the Tigers looking at long-term pitching issues with Jeremy Bonderman's troubles continuing and Justin Verlander going into a late-summer slump?

Henning: It's easy to forget that baseball is the least tolerable of all professional sports when it comes to rewarding young players. This is true for hitters and for pitchers, but anymore it is clear that starting pitchers require extra time, and generally a lot of it, before they truly pitch more than they throw.

Bonderman is 24 years old. He has thrown rather than pitched for much of his five seasons in a Tigers uniform. He has gotten by for most of the time with a sharp-moving fastball and deadly slider. He has never had a third pitch that caused hitters any deep concern.

It's late in the summer, and the fastball isn't moving the way it must move on the outside of the plate (against right-handers) to set up his slider. Without a legitimate change-up, the stresses placed on his two pet pitches are immense. It's no wonder he got hit hard Saturday night and never struck out a single batter.

Big Al: When fans bring up the long-term issues argument, I have to ask, "Jump to conclusions much?" Long-term issues? Jesus Christ, the Tigers have the youngest starting rotation this side of Williamsport! Good Lord, most of the starting rotation still gets carded in bars!

To expect excellence every time out from such a young staff is unreasonable. It's frustrating, to be sure, but I agree with Henning that they require time to grow, and that's hard to find in the middle of a pennant race.

To write off the rotation in the long-term is silly and short sighted. Will they become the dominant rotation of the decade? Too soon to say, but I like the odds.

The learning by doing, and considering the potential of the starting staff (Picture a rotation of Verlander, Bonderman, Miller, Porcello), I think the Tigers will be in the thick of things most every season. That's not to say they will make the playoffs every year, but they will be a threat to make them for the foreseeable future. After 2 decades of, to put it bluntly, shit baseball, I'd be fine with that happening.

I'm willing to live with the mistakes, losses, bad mechanics, and painful lessons learned, if it pays off with a great rotation 4 years from now. As I said, I like the odds.

Q: What can a pitcher five seasons into his big league career change?

Henning: The Tigers vowed at the end of last season, as they have pretty much vowed each and every year, that Bonderman would not leave spring training until he had mastered a serviceable change-up. He worked on it throughout March, but a pitcher in a regular season game is going to throw the pitch he trusts. And Bonderman is nowhere near throwing a proper change-up, much less trusting it.

It seems reasonable to assume he and the Tigers will consider a different pitch. A split-finger fastball makes sense. But you don't begin twirling split-fingers overnight, either.

Big Al: If Bonderman hasn't been able to come up with an effective change up by this time of his career, he never will. So be it a split finger, knuckler, eephus, LaLob, Folly Floater, spitter, knuckle curve, slurve, screwball, gyro-ball, or Bugs Bunny's powerful, paralyzing, perfect, pachydermous percussion pitch, Bonderman has to develop a relatively consistent 3rd pitch in this coming off-season, or we're having this same discussion in August 2008, 2009, 2010, and so on.

Personally, my money's on the powerful, paralyzing, perfect, pachydermous percussion pitch... Unless you have a giant redwood for a bat, it's unhittable.

Q: Then Bonderman is essentially destined for annual trouble because he leans on two bread-and-butter pitches?

Henning: Youth will give way to maturity. Bonderman will get so fed up he will develop an off-speed pitch. Necessity will be the mother of invention. He has the skill to come up with a third option.

Big Al: Hopefully experience will win out, and Bonderman works through his odd issues. But will he ever figure it out? Hell if I know. Jeremy Bonderman is an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, shrouded in mystery.

Q: What about Verlander? His velocity was down significantly his last start.

Henning: He had arm fatigue at this time a year ago and appears to be enduring a milder version now. Again, remember that a 24-year-old pitcher has a lot to learn about pitching, pacing, conditioning, etc. Fans don't enjoy cutting talented young guys slack when they've been around for a few seasons, but people are going to have to deal with the fact the Tigers are relying on kid pitchers.

It doesn't matter if it is Bonderman, Verlander or Andrew Miller. They won't become pitchers, per se, until they get more deeply into their 20s.

Big Al: Since Henning asked these questions before last night's dominant performance, Verlander's contention that he had discovered a mechanical flaw looks to have proved correct. For that matter, who's to say that the flu virus that struck him hadn't sapped Verlander of quite a bit of strength for a couple of weeks.

In beating the Yankees, with all cylinders firing, we saw Verlander's best performance since the June no-hitter. It was a sight for sore eyes.

Obviously, 1 start is just 1 start, and it won't mean a hill of beans if he gets shelled in his next appearance. I'll need to see Verlander put together a nice string of games to prove that he's broken through the proverbial "Wall." But it was damned encouraging, all the same.

I agree with Henning in that the young pitchers are still, at times, throwing, and will become much more skilled pitchers as they gain experience. You don't become a "Crafty" pitcher, like Kenny Rogers, overnight.

Q . When youth is taking its toll throughout the rotation, why should anyone think Kenny Rogers would offset any problems when he can only pitch every five games, even if he were healthy?

Henning: Rogers gave everyone a breather. The kids in the rotation could relax. The bullpen could count on Rogers getting into the seventh inning or so, which allowed everyone a chance to catch their breath. With Rogers gone, the kids press, the bullpen gets overworked, and just about everything relating to Detroit's pitching staff weakens.

Big Al: What Henning said. The Gambler going down was a huge reason for the Tigers' pitching "Troubles." His injury began a domino effect on the Tigers' staff, causing both the rotation and bullpen to work harder, and become more stressed, than anyone would have been anticipated.

The Gambler gave the Tigers a chance to win most every start, and was guaranteed to go deep into the game. It cannot be said enough, Rogers has been missed. SORELY missed.

Q: Will Rogers make it back in September?

Henning: At best, he might feel good enough to put together a quick rehab and make a couple of starts during the regular season's final two weeks. But that seems optimistic.

Big Al: Please God, for all that is holy, I hope so. //crosses fingers, knocks on wood, rubs rabbit's foot, shakes fist at the baseball injury Gods//

Q: Will the Tigers re-sign him for 2008?

Henning: The bet here is yes. It will be a one-year contract, contingent on him getting completely healthy. If he feels good and can throw with his usual zest, the Tigers will certainly want him back in 2008. Their rotation will need a veteran arm, and a healthy Rogers makes as much sense now as he did when they signed him two years ago.

Big Al: If Rogers proves healthy in this coming off season, it would be asinine not to sign him. The Gambler has stated unequivocally that he likes it in Detroit, wants to stay in Detroit, and end his career in Detroit. That's fine by me.

Considering the dearth of quality starting pitching available via trade or free agency, to have an established ace want to stay on, even if he may be close to collecting Social Security, and coming off an injury filled season (The blood clot in the shoulder was a fluke, it remains to be seen about the elbow issues), you give Rogers the benefit of the doubt, and re-up with him. You don't go whole hog on a multi-year deal, but a fair 1 year contract would work for both sides.

Screw the Kenny Rogers haters, and I know that there are plenty out there in internet-land. Rogers has been a model citizen, and is a huge asset to the Tigers. In my mind, The Gambler is welcome to stay in Detroit as long as he wants.

About damn time...

...The Tigers won a series. Kicking the Yankees around to win 3 of 4, and to end the series with a 16-0 flourish was something the team, and the fans, needed badly.

But I'm not going to say the worst is over, as we've thought that several times over since mid July. At least the Tigers finished their August gauntlet of a schedule only 2.5 back of the Tribe. They are by no means out of the playoff hunt. I do need to see more from them to convince me that they are totally back on track.

Justin Verlander had his best start of the 2nd half tonight, and that is cause for encouragement, but the starting pitching, as a whole, is still somewhat off in the weeds. There's still plenty of injuries to play through (Rogers, Jurrjens, Sheffield) as well.

Let's just say that we may be seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, as the Tigers have won 3 of 4 to finally take a series. Let's see if they can make it 5 of 6, 8 of 10, 12 of 15, and win a few series in a row.

The Tigers are due. Overdue, actually...

How I stay a fan of the Detroit Lions, I'll never know...

After watching the Lions get destroyed by the Colts Saturday, I'm oh so temped to call the Lions 2007 season officially over. Seriously.

We all know the drill. The 3rd exhibition game is the dress rehearsal for the NFL season. Every season the Lions say this rehearsal will show all the naysayers that things have changed. And every year they prove the naysayers correct, and get DRILLED.

If a Broadway play had a dress rehearsal comparable to the Lions' dress rehearsal, the producers would declare the play unsalvageable, and close it on the spot. The Lions don't have that option, and we fans will have to endure another embarrassment of a season.


Nothing has changed. The defense can't stop anyone at any time. Period. The defensive backfield is awful. Period. The offense can't run the ball. Period. There is no legitimate backup QB. Period. The head coach is in over his head. Period.

Sgt. Marinelli made another in a series of questionable in-game coaching moves by taking a penalty, giving the Colts another shot at a 3rd down conversion, rather than forcing a 4th down field goal attempt. Of course, Indy converted 3rd and long. Hell, the Lions haven't stopped anyone on 3rd in long since Alex Karras and Joe Schmidt were terrorizing offenses in the 60's.

The faces change, yet the results never do. The Lions are a BAD football team.

Yet why do fans think that Rod Marinelli has the Lions headed in the right direction? Because he talks a good game? Because he looks like a football coach? Because...I'm out of reasons. I wasn't sold on Marinelli a year ago, and I'm not sold on him now.

Marinelli has supposedly cleaned out the locker rook of malcontents. Unfortunately, the sucky malcontents were replaced with sucky and injury prone happy campers. Either way, we are looking at a double digit loss team.

The Lions are as far from being a playoff contender as Mike Vick is from being a dog lover.

Supposedly the Lions' chief front office baboon, TWFE's favorite whipping boy, Matt Millen, has less say in personnel matters. Instead, Marinelli and Mike Martz have a larger say as to the makeup of the roster. So who's to blame for the total cluster that has become the backup QB position?

I'm not expecting Jon Kitna's backup to be a world beater. But I do expect him to look like a NFL QB. Right now, I haven't seen one. Against the Colts 1st string, JT What's-His-Name looked exactly like what he is, a reject from NFL Europa. Dan Orlovsky is in his 3rd NFL season, and can't beat out JT What's-His-Name.

If Kitna goes down, the Lions would be best off to raise the white flag, forfeit their remaining games, and come back in 2008.

More than just the loss, but HOW the Lions lost, was what disturbed me the most. The Colts did what they wanted, how they wanted, when they wanted. Peyton Manning would throw for 100 TD's in a season if he faced the Lions defense for 16 games.

All in all, the Lions' exhibition season, even with 2 blah victories, has done little to convince me that the Lions even have a shot at a .500 season.

So what do I see from the Lions with 2 weeks till the NFL regular season?

No running game.
No legit backup QB's.
No pass rush.
No legit defensive backs.
Injuries up the wazoo.
A head coach who has done nothing but hand out platitudes like "Pound the rock."
An offensive coordinator who would like to throw the ball 99% of the time.
6 wins, 10 losses, and another top 5 draft pick.

There's more to being sincere than just saying so

When it comes to Mike Vick's apology, I find it as sincere as when I say that I care who wins the WNBA title. In other words, not very sincere at all.

Vick is just taking the first baby steps in trying to get back into the NFL's good graces. That's all, nothing more. Honestly, I find it hard to believe anything that comes out of that loser's mouth. The apology is damage control, an attempt to spin the story even a little in his favor.

Vick lied to the Falcons, he lied to the NFL commissioner, he lied to the media, and he's lying now when he says he's "Sorry." If he had added, "Because I got caught," then I might have believed him.

Vick is degenerate gambler who showed no remorse in executing dogs, and associating with a criminal element. But it's all good, because he says he has changed for the better, thanks to finding Jesus? Give me a damn break. People who are truly good at heart don't get involved in the training, torturing and killing of fighting dogs, then bet on the results of dogfights.

Sociopaths, on the other hand...

Vick pulled out all the stops. He brought up forgiveness, kids, Jeebus, maturity, all the bullet points I'm sure his lawyers made sure he hit upon during the so-called "Apology." Saying you are sincerely sorry really doesn't mean a thing at this point, other than making for a nice Sportscenter sound bite.

You know when I might believe Vick is sincerely remorseful? In 10-15 years down the line. His post prison actions will tell us volumes more than the current cover your ass speechifying currently taking place.

Till that time, when we see actions to back up the words, it's nothing more than pure bullshit.

I apologize for the short leave of absence

I was going to post last Friday, but beer got in the way. My best friend called on his way home from work, and informed me that he was coming over to TWFE HQ, and we were going to go have a few, as Mickey Redmond likes to say, "Pops," at the local dive bar.

I did get home in time for the Tigers' game rain delay, and ended up watching the ENTIRE game. The damn night was so long, I was totally sober by the time Carlos Guillen went yard.

What was going be 1 day away from the blog, turned into 3. As for the weekend, I just wasn't feeling it. By not feeling it, I mean that I had a combination of writer's block, fantasy football prep, a headache, Lions disgust, Tigers confusion, and laziness.

I did take part in my 1st fantasy football draft of the season Sunday afternoon, a 14 team bloggers invitational league set up by "The Ghosts of Wayne Fontes." I have another tonight, The Sports Frog "Premiership," an extremely competitive relegation league. I managed to keep from being relegated last season in the last week of play, one of my prouder fantasy sports moments. Sad, I know.

Anyway, if anyone cares, I am alive, and will have thoughts on the weekend events later today.

The last thing I expected was a pitcher's duel...

...considering the mound matchup. But that's what we got today from Nate Robertson and Jake Westbrook. Damn shame the Tigers wasted Robertson's best pitched game of the season in a 3-1 loss to the Indians. Robertson was on fire. Unfortunately, so was Westbrook.

An extra innings loss is tough to take, as the Tribe is now up 2.5 games for the Central. This loss goes on the shoulders of the offense, as they wasted several chances to break the game open in regulation. Gary Sheffield was sorely missed. Too bad the Tigers waited till there was 2 out in the bottom of the 10th before they decided to put on their hitting shoes. To use an overused cliche', too little, too late.

I wasn't all that confident when I saw Pudge Rodriguez stroll to the plate as the winning run. He is struggling so badly at the plate, it's painful to watch. It does make you wonder if Jim Leyland outsmarted himself when he inserted Pudge as a pinch runner for Mike Rabelo in the bottom of the 9th. With Pudge in an ugly slump at the plate, Rabelo has looked much better with the bat in recent days.

But Pudge is a veteran, who has come through in the clutch in the past. You live and die with your veterans, and today, they died.

Joel Zumaya made a couple of mistakes, but I'm not going to blame him for giving up the game winning run on a bleeder that barely made it through the infield. He got the ground ball he needed, but with the Tigers recent (All bad) luck, the damn ball had eyes. But giving up a 2 run single to the next batter hurt badly, considering the Tigers mounted a comeback in the bottom of the inning.

Thing is, the game shouldn't have even gotten to that point. The Tigers would have won the game a couple of times over if they had gotten a Casey fly ball here, or a 2 out Inge or Granderson hit there. They couldn't do a thing with Westbrook, or the Tribe relievers, and let them wriggle out of trouble.

God damn, it would have been nice to see Detroit win a series, if only to give the fans a "Pick me up."

So now what? They aren't out of the race, by any means. The Tigers aren't in must win territory yet, but it this slide continues...Well, let's just hope the team wide slump ends, and ends soon.

About all I can say at this point is, "Bah!" I used up all of my profanity last night...

HELP! Fantasy teams needed, stat!

One of the first regular readers, and friend of TWFE, Detroit ex-pat Kevin Antcliff of Mile High Sports magazine, started a Yahoo fantasy football league, "The Millen School of GMing". Along with Kevin and myself, Ian of Bless You Boys is participating. Unfortunately, we are short of players, and Kevin has issued an impassioned plea for more teams.

If you are interested in taking part, and kicking some blogger ass, here's the pertinent info...

League ID#: 18031
Password: stuff2007

Draft is live, and this coming weekend. See you there...

EVERYBODY PANIC!!! - Fans are blithering idiots edition

After Tuesday's loss to the Tribe, if you checked out the Detroit Tigers message boards, or tuned into local sports talk radio, you'd read/hear the following...

Gary Sheffield's shoulder may need surgery. His career is over!

Did you see that last at bat?! The Tigers need to cut ties with Pudge Rodriguez, IMMEDIATELY!

Justin Verlander is overrated, he should be pitching lights out!

Jeremy Bonderman and Justin Verlander aren't themselves, they need to be sat down, and skipped a start. In fact, while they are at it, let's clean out the bullpen, and cut of all the deadwood!

Another loss? The Tigers season is over, no way they make the playoffs!

In other words, it's Chicken Little time in Tiger Town.

Pardon my French, but this needs to be said...

What the fuck is the matter with you people? Think before you fucking post or talk! Let your emotions boil back down to a simmer before pulling such off the wall, knee jerk, reactionary opinions out of your no-nothing ass! The Tigers slump has you fans losing your fucking minds! I've never seen such a God damn bipolar fanbase. 1 win doesn't make a season, 1 loss doesn't end it! Take your fucking meds before the damn game! Get yourself together, and act like you've lived through a pennant race before!

OK, now that is out of my system, let's try to look at these issues somewhat rationally...

Sheffield's shoulder: According to media reports. straight from Sheffield's quotable mouth, his shoulder is a painful mess. As someone who lives with chronic shoulder pain, I can sympathize with Sheff. It can make you absolutely miserable. Honestly, I would not be surprised if he misses more than just the home stand, and it ends his season. But that might be for the best. In the long run, anyway.

If surgery cleans up his shoulder, combined with an off season to rehab it, there is no reason to expect Sheffield couldn't come back 100% in 2008. Considering he has 2 years at $13 million per season left on his contract, he has 13 million reasons to come back, with his bat speed hopefully intact.

The Sheffield situation bears watching closely. It's a big blow to the Tigers chances if he's out for more than a few games. But it's still much too early to call Sheff's season, and career for that matter, done.

Pudge: He ended tonight's game with an awful at bat, swinging at what was probably ball 4 on strikes 2 and 3. Pudge's OBP is dropping dangerously close to Craig Monroe territory. His defense looks to have fallen off as well. He obviously in decline, as any catcher in his mid 30's would be. The catching "Situation" is definitely something the Tigers will address, in some way, this coming off season.

But let's say the Tigers do cut ties with Rodriguez going into 2008. Who do you have replace him that's already on the roster? Mike Rabelo? Get serious. Vance Wilson? He may not be healthy by the start of next season,after missing 2007 in it's entirety.

There's no catching in the farm system. You don't find any catchers on the waiver wire. They are next to impossible to come by in free agency. It's going to take a big time prospect, or a front line player, to get a good major league catcher in a trade.

It's either that, or keep Pudge for one more season, and pick up his expensive contract option. It's a qunadry, to be sure. But either way, you don't cut ties with Pudge unless you have exhausted each and every option in finding a young, big league ready, catcher. Good luck in doing so, as you are going to need it.

I doubt Pudge is going anywhere, because there is no other option. Period. Get used to it. No walks, bad OPB, declining defense and all that comes with him...

Verlander: For the 2nd season in a row, he may have run out of gas. Verlander is definitely struggling, without question. His velocity isn't always there, and his command, to put it bluntly, has gone to shit. Verlander may have hit the proverbial wall.

But to call him overrated? Say he needs to do more? Please, get a God damn grip. Verlander may be the best young starting pitcher in baseball. He has the chance to be great. It's a bit much to expect greatness in the kid's 2nd major league season, at the ripe old age of 24.

Verlander has pitched more innings in the last 2 seasons than he has probably pitched in the 5 years previous, combined. And many of those innings have been of the high pressure sort, in the middle of a pennant race.

Despite what some fans think, Verlander shouldn't have to be, or expected to be, the Tigers ace. Not in his 2nd season.

Fans are expecting too much from Verlander. He's going to make mistakes. He's going to have bad nights. He sometimes throws, rather than pitches. But remember this. He's only in his 2nd fucking big league season!

Skip starts, and/or make sweeping changes in the pen: OK, say you skip Bonderman or Verlander a start or 2. Which leads to one question. Replace them with who?

Jair Jurrjens? He's already in the rotation in place of Kenny Rogers. Admittedly, he was great against the Indians, but it was only his 2nd big league start. He could be pitching over his head, and the league may soon figure him out. It's too soon to tell.

Chad Durbin? He was no great shakes in his recent spot starts. For that matter, who takes Durbin's place in the pen? I thought you wanted that to be wiped clean of the likes of Zach Miner and Jason Grilli?

Zach Miner? See what I said about Durbin.

Virgil Vasquez or Jordan Tata? You want to thrust them into the middle of a pennant race? Please. The Tigers are already gambling with Jurrjens. You can't seriously expect them to continue to catch pitching lightening in a bottle. It's too much to ask.

If Verlander or Bonderman were skipped a start or 2 at this point, if they aren't legitimately injured, the Tigers brain trust would be considered criminally insane. Why? Because they don't have any one else!

If you were going to skip their turn, you would have done so by now. It's too late in the season, and the games are too important, to start resting pitchers who are currently your number 1 and 2 in the rotation! It's too damn late. You might as well hand the division to the Indians on a platter if you do.

Same goes for the bullpen, it's too late to clear the bench. I want Grilli gone just as much as the next guy. But who do the Tigers have to replace him, or anyone else, in the pen? Rodney and Zumaya are already back, and pitching well. What of McBride, Capellan, Bazardo, Lopez, De La Cruz? If they were considered good enough, they would have stayed in Detroit, and not looking for an apartment in Toledo.

The Tigers have what they have in the rotation, and in the bullpen. You don't make make sweeping changes when... 1 - It's late August! And.. 2 - You are only 1.5 games out of 1st place! You just don't...

The Tigers season is over: Again, it needs to be repeated. It has to be repeated, over and over. The Tigers are only 1.5 games out of 1st place! That's one and one half games, with more than a month left in the season. No way is the season close to being over.

Cleveland hasn't been any better than the Tigers over this past month. The Tribe are just as flawed a team as the Tigers. It's not as if the Tigers have to pass a juggernaut to win the central.

Yes, they are struggling. The Tigers have stumbled badly. But they are totally capable of ripping off a 7 or 8 game winning streak. Admittedly, they are just as capable of losing 7 or 8 straight games, but that is besides the point. The point is that the season isn't over!

It's a 162 game season. Have they played all 162? Last time I checked, they haven't.

Want an example that the season isn't, as they say, over till it's over? Just go back to 1987.

The Tigers lost 3 straight to the 1st place Blue Jays with little more than a week left in the season. Talk about a season being on the brink, but it wasn't yet over.

Detroit won the last game of the 4 game series, much in thanks to Kirk Gibson hitting a monstrous home run at Exhibition Stadium to tie the game 1-1 in the top of the 9th. The Tigers went on to win the game in 13 innings.

The Tigers then finished the season on a 6-1 tear. The Jays went into a death spiral, finishing 0-7. Tigers won the division, even though 1 week earlier, it looked as if, (Say it with me...) "The season is over!"

So to go and say, "OH MY GAWD! Teh Tigers is teh suck! Indians pwned them! Teh season is over!" when the Tigers are still in both the divisional and wild card races is ludicrous. Sure, if, and that's "IF," they continue to stumble around like a bunch of drunken Seattle Pilots circa 1969, of course the season will end sooner, than later. But to say it's a done deal? Come on...

Today's another day, and another opportunity to make up a game against the Tribe. Win or lose, at the very least, save the Chicken Little shit for September, OK? Till then, I don't want to fucking hear it...

Breaking down the Detroit Lions thru fantasy football eyes

Quarterback: Jon Kitna took every snap in 2006, so it's Kitna or bust. No one else is worth considering. The backups are JT What's-His-Name, a NFL Eurpoa reject who has 1 game in 2004 with the Packers on his NFL resume, and Dan Orlovsky, a 5th round pick who's only experience under center is 2 garbage time appearances in his 2005 rookie season. Let's just say a QB was drafted in the 2nd round for a reason. Why the now out for the season Drew Stanton was that pick is fodder for another post...

Jon Kitna: He claimed before camp started that he was going to throw for 50 TD's in 2007. Confidence is one thing, hubris and delusion are another thing altogether.

But in regard to his fantasy prospects, it depends one stat. Turnovers. Keep this in mind. If your league deducts points for turnovers, and in 2006, Kitna was a turnover machine, it can turn a nice point production day from your QB into a lousy one.

Kitna will throw for over 4000 yards and 20+ TD's. In a Mike Martz run offense, that production is pretty much guaranteed. You'd think, with the over emphasis of the passing game in Martz's offense, Kitna would toss 35+ TD's. Unfortunately, he will find some way to kill a drive.

Expect Kitna to be amongst the league leaders in sacks and turnovers. He'll be sacked 50-60 times, have 10 fumbles, and throw, at the very least, 20 picks. You can book it, guaranteed.

You also have to take into the fact that the Lions have had red zone issues for YEARS. The Lions struggle mightily to get the ball across the goal line, via pass or run. This preseason exhibition season, up to this point, has proven no different.

In a moment of weakness, I was able to pick up Kitna off the fantasy waiver wire early in the 2006 season. I didn't have to play him much, as I had Drew Brees, but when I did, turnovers killed his point production.

So when it comes to Kitna, it's "Caveat emptor." He'll put up some gaudy ass yardage stats, but it will be the emptiest stats in the NFL. At best, he's a fantasy backup QB. when you do have to start him, hope that it'll be one of those few games where he keeps the turnovers to a minimum. Start Kitna regularly at risk to both your sanity, and team's point production.

Running back: Pick ANY Detroit Lions running back at your own risk. My adivce? Just don't do it. Trust me, scratch any Lions RB off your fantasy cheat sheet. You'll thank me later.

Kevin Jones: I've been sucked into the Jones hype since his dominant 8 game stretch in 2004. I drafted Jones as a #2 back the past 2 seasons, and was burned by his below average production the past 2 seasons. I've overrated him for the last time.

Jones is a powerful back with good speed and hands. But his inconsistent production, combined with Martz's typically bizarre red zone play calling, and his slow recovery from a severe lisfranc injury, makes Kevin Jones my fantasy kryptonite.

No one knows if he'll ever be the same back after such a severe foot injury. For example, Lions linebacker Teddy Lehman hasn't been the same player since his lisfranc injury, and his injury happened 2+ seasons ago. Even if Jones is healthy enough to start the season on the 53 man roster, which is highly in doubt, Tatum Bell will be the Lions number 1 back.

Odds are Jones misses the first 6 weeks of the season while on the PUP. When he does come back, he won't be close to full strength, and will have more rust on him than a '81 Chevette after a Michigan winter. If he can ever make it back to his '04 form, it won't be till the 2008 season.

Tatum Bell: The Lions clear number 1 running back. That's all well and good, but that's comparable to being a first place winner in the Special Olympics. There really isn't much competition.

Still, I think Bell is just a backup, at best, on any fantasy team. Why? Let's count the reasons.

The Lions o-line has been awful for a decade. The Lions suck in the red zone. Mike Martz will throw the ball 70% of the time. TJ Duckett was signed as a short yardage back, and will poach TD's in goal line situations. Considering that I, an arthritic 40-something, could run for 1000 yards in Denver's offensive scheme, we don't really know how good Bell will be when left to his own devices to find running room. Orlandis Gary sure worked out well for the Lions, right?

Just like Jones, Bell is fantasy kryptonite to me.

TJ Duckett: He claims that he's not a short yardage back. Yet that's how Duckett was used by Atlanta, and will be by the Lions. And in his first crack at poaching a TD in the preseason exhibition season, he fumbled the ball away. Duckett fits right in with the Lions...

Duckett will see short yardage and red zone duty. He may even score a few TD's. But pick him at your own risk, because barring injury, he's behind Bell, and a healthy Jones, on the depth chart.

Brian Calhoun: Yeah, right. If he's on your radar, you're either waaaay too into fantasy football, and have a monstrously deep RB chart with every NFL back listed, or you're fucking loony. Calhoun's nothing more than a 3rd round, Matt Millen drafted, bust.

Receivers: We've been told for years that the Lions' receiving corps were top notch. Before last season, the Lions' receiving corps blew chunks. Last season, the receivers were pretty damn good. The top 2 WR's, Roy Williams and Mike Furrey combined for 180 catches and nearly 2400 yards, but only 13 TD's.

Williams should of had that many on his own, but we are talking the Lions. The lack of receiving TD's from such a prolific passing offense is just another way the Lions' red zone ineffectiveness bites fantasy owners on the ass.

Roy Williams: Had a breakout season in 2006. Expect more of the same in 2007. Several highlight reel catches, a fair share of dropped passes, a ton of yards (1300+), and a TD number that won't match his overall production as a number 1 receiver (Under 10).

There's several reasons why. The presence of Calvin Johnson and Mike Furry, Mike Martz's odd play calling, Williams' penchant for dropping passes, Jon Kitna's scatter arm. Williams is a number 2 fantasy WR till he proves otherwise.

Mike Furrey: No no one saw his great 2006 season coming. It was an amazing season for a converted safety. But 98 catches, 6 TD's, nearly 1100 yards? If you say you saw that sort of production, you're an outright liar, or The Amazing Kreskin.

Despite the numbers he put up in '06, Furrey is now the number 3 option, thanks to his being demoted to the slot position with the drafting of Calvin Johnson. But in a Mike Martz offense, the slot sees plenty of action. He runs 3 wides the vast majority of the time. I expect Furrey will run wild catching underneath passes with Williams and Johnson stretching defenses deep.

So he'll still be quite productive. Just don't expect many touchdowns. The few the Lions do manage to get will go to the aforementioned Williams and Johndson.

Calvin Johnson: Much is expected from the number 2 overall pick. But how often does a rookie wide receiver have a breakout season? For every Randy Moss or Anquan Boldin, there are 15 Herman Moore's. Not to dis number 84, as he was a great receiver, but if you remember, Moore was a huge bust as a rookie. He dropped so many passes, there was talk he needed to have his eyes examined.

I doubt Johnson will be that disappointing in his rookie year. But I don't expect fireworks, either. As good as he may be, for this season, CJ is the number 2 guy. Williams is a proven quanity, and Kitna will look his way (Before he gets sacked, or throws a pick) first.

One thing to keep in mind is that Johnson is so big, and so physical, much like Moore, he could be unstoppable on end zone fade routes. In the mid 90's, Scott Mitchell thrived by throwing fade patterns to Moore. Mitchell would throw the ball up for grabs in the corner of the end zone, and 99% of the time, Moore would bring it down.

You'd think the current Lion brain trust would do the same with Johnson. He would be a TD machine, if they could take advantage of CJ's freakish physical attributes. We haven't seen it yet, let's hope Martz is keeping the fade in his hip pocket till the regular season.

Johnson is worth drafting, but not till the later rounds. But you know someone will take Johnson too high in your fantasy drafts. Don't be that guy.

Tight end: Tight ends (And fullbacks, for that matter) are useless in a Martz run offense. What "Tight ends" the Lions do have are actually H-backs, a hybrid fullback/tight end, who don't much of anything other than block. Dan Campbell led the Lions with 21 catches and 4 TD's. He's a desperation option late in a fantasy draft.

Lions defense: Only take the Lions D if you get points for most time spent on the field, or most 3rd down conversions given up. The Lions D doesn't manufacture turnovers, or sack QB's. Not exactly a recipe for fantasy success....

Arthritis sucks, in case you didn't know...

I apologize for the dearth of posts today. The monsoon like weather here in SE Michigan is wreaking havoc on my arthritic joints. As you might guess, I haven't felt much like writing. So my thoughts will be short and sweet tonight.

Big win for the Tigers tonight. Huge win. But to win with with Jair Jurrjens throwing a 1 hitter? Then a 7 consecutive out bullpen performance, straight out of 2006, from Zumaya, Rodney, and Jones? I did not see any of that coming...

It's the sort of victory a team can build on. Then again, I've thought the same thing after a few other victories over the past month. It remains to be seen if the Tigers can parlay a nice win into a much needed winning streak.

Let's hope the Tigers can follow up by actually winning a series. And let's hope I'm feeling a little more like my old self tomorrow...

The Detroit Tigers pitching staff as seen thru the music of...Huey Lewis & The News

Sad to say, my comparing the Tigers' pitching problems to iconic rock bands has become a recurring feature on TWFE. With another ugly weekend is in the books, and the Tigers getting their asses handed to them in losing 3 out of 4 to the Yankees, I felt it was time to add another chapter.

The bullpen is still a large thorn in the Tigers' side. Unfortunately, the starting rotation is now competing with the bullpen in the race to see who can give away a game first. So in this edition, the starters have been added to set list.

Considering the Tiger pitching came out of nowhere last season to dominate the AL, and just as quickly, only 1 season later, has come crashing back to earth, I wanted to find a comparable band. Riffing through my large collection of MP3's, one came quickly to mind.

Everyone owned the album, "Sports." Even your grandmother.

Think of a seminal 80's band, a band that was much like that decade, not very deep and quite disposable. A band that was monstrously and immensely popular, if only for a couple of years. Think of a band called, "Huey Lewis & The News."

They were a band, for a short time in the mid 80's, that was literally everywhere you turned. HL&TN were in constant rotation on MTV. Remember "I Want a New Drug" and Huey Lewis running around San Francisco in his bright red suit? How could you not!? I swear that video was played by MTV every hour, on the hour, for 6 months straight.

Turn on the radio, and you'd almost immediately hear one of HL&TN's damn catchy hits. Their music turned up in damn near every movie soundtrack in 84-85, "Back to the Future" being the most prominent example.

Huey Lewis & The News were ubiquitous in American culture.

Then almost as quickly, they were gone. Their albums were relegated to the cut out bin at your local record store. HL&TN joined the likes of Styx, Journey, REO Speedwagon and Eddie Money, all who had their moment in the limelight, and now only come to mind when they pop up at your local open air amphitheater to play a summer concert of their hits, and nothing but the hits.

The once solid Tigers pitching staff is now giving up hits to the opposition in much the same way Huey Lewis & The News used to produce hits. Quickly, and in bunches...

Nate Robertson - "Bad Is Bad" - And since May, Robertson has been BAAAAD. Really bad. Shockingly bad. Damn bad. Not good, but BAD.

Jason Grilli - "100 Years from Now" - Grilli sucked last season, he sucks now, he'll suck next season, he'll suck the rest of his life, and he'll suck from the grave. Grilli's immense suckitude will be talked about by Tigers fans today, tomorrow, next week, next year, even 100 years from now...

Zach Miner - "I Want a New Drug" - Because the drugs I currently take to numb the pain caused by Miner's inconsistent pitching are no longer strong enough...

Jeremy Bonderman - "Walking on a Thin Line" - Bonderman walks a thin line between being outright dominant, and being utterly awful. The problem is the line was once walked from game to game. Then inning to inning. Then batter to batter. At this point of the season though, Bonderman's walking on a thin line from pitch to pitch.

Tim Byrdak - "I Never Walk Alone" - No, you walk batters till the bases are full. No one's ever alone on the basepaths. Actually, the same can be said about the entire Tigers bullpen...

Todd Jones - "Stuck with You" - We fans would rather have Joel Zumaya as the closer. Unfortunately, we're suck with you, The Rollercoaster, Mr. Pitch To Contact, the smoke and mirrors closer known as Todd Jones.

Fernando Rodney - "Couple Days Off" - Fans hoped against hope that just a little bit of rest would cure Rodney's season long struggles. As we found out, he need much more that just a couple of days off, but several weeks on the DL.

Jair Jurrjens - "Now Here's You" - Thanks to injuries and general ineffectiveness, we've seen Yorman Bazardo, José Capellán, Wilfredo Ledezma, Mike Maroth, Macay McBride, Eulogio De La Cruz, Jordan Tata, Virgil Vásquez, and Joe Table, all come, and then go, from the Tigers' pitching staff. Now here's you, up from Double A. I sure hope you're better than the rest of that motley crew.

Chad Durbin - "Workin' for a Livin'" - Durbin should be workin' for a livin' like the rest of the world, as he sure as Hell isn't a major league pitcher.

Bobby Seay - "I Know What I Like" - And I don't like you on the Tigers roster! How many LOOGY's does a team need?

Andrew Miller - "Heart and Soul" - If I honestly looked deep down in my heart and soul, I'd have realized that the Tigers quickly promoting Miller from double A, and directly into the Tigers starting rotation, was the first sign of desperation from the Tigers' brain trust.

Kenny Rogers - "Some of My Lies are True" - You said it was just dirt on your hand in the World Series. Now he's lying to himself when The Gambler says he's coming back in September from his painful elbow issues, even though every report in the media says he's not even healthy enough to throw off a mound. Keep on lying Kenny, and some may come true.

Justin Verlander - "Give Me the Keys" - Is what you'd like to hear Verlander say about taking over from Kenny Rogers as the ace of the Tigers pitching staff. But as good as Verlander has been, is he capable of doing so at 24 years of age? I doubt it.

Joel Zumaya - "Perfect World" - In a perfect world, Zumaya would have been healthy all season, made Todd Jones irrelevant, have kept the bullpen from it's season long, never ending, self inflicted implosion, and be the most dominant relief pitcher in all of baseball. Sad to say, it's not a perfect world...

Jim Leyland - "Back in Time" - When it comes to the pitching staff, the Marlboro Man wishes he could go back in time. and bring back the 2006 pitching staff. Scratch that...Actually, Leyland would go back to a time when you didn't have to hide your nicotine habit from the prying eyes of MLB, and puff happily away upon pack after pack of unfiltered Marlboro reds from the dugout steps.

Big Al - "Do You Believe In Love" - Now that I'm older, and have gone through my share of heartache caused by both the female persuasion and the Tigers, I'm not sure I want to believe in love anymore. It can be a mirage. Much like I'm afraid that the Tigers just might just have been a mirage. I so WANT to believe, but I've been burned too many times in the past to get my hopes up that they can pull out of their tailspin.

But I'm going to try and believe. Try hard...

Answering the Detroit Tigers' "Burning questions," volume 6

I'm a day late, but it's finally time to answer Detroit News columnist Lynn Henning's Burning questions about the Detroit Tigers. This week, Lynn gives his thoughts about the Tigers signing Rick Porcello to a big money deal. Let's see what he has to say...

Burning questions as the Tigers head for Yankee Stadium and another gulp of industrial-strength, playoff-stretch pressure:

Q: Was there ever a doubt the Tigers would sign their celebrated first-round pick Rick Porcello?

Henning: Early, it was viewed by most outside observers as a 50-50 shot on Porcello. I suspect the Tigers -- and the Porcello family -- were more confident it would happen. But such confidence could only have stemmed from each party's belief the Tigers would spend an unprecedented $7.285 million to sign a high school right-hander, topping the figure Josh Beckett signed for in 1999.

Clearly, Porcello wanted to sign. Clearly, his parents were going to bite if the financial security was there. And clearly, the Tigers intended to do whatever it took -- even if it was $7 million-plus -- to make him their latest Mr. Universe pitching prospect.

Big Al: The Tigers knew going in that to get Porcello to sign on the line that is dotted, it was going to cost them serious coin. They've also hammered out several deals with Porcello's //Cough// "Advisor" //Cough//, Scott Boras. You don't have Boras on your side if you aren't committed to going pro. So I agree that the parties involved were much more confident going into negotiations than the so-called "Outsiders" Henning mentions.

The Tigers drafted Porcello with every intention to do whatever it took to get him in the fold. Obviously, a $7+ million contract shows just how serious the Tigers were in making sure they got their man.

Q: Were there doubts they would sign hotshot prospects Casey Crosby and Cale Iorg?

Henning: The Tigers knew exactly what it would take to sign Crosby and Iorg: $750,000 for Crosby and $1.5 million for Iorg.

The Tigers got two blue-ribbon prospects for a combined price of less than one year of Neifi Perez's salary. And make no mistake: The upside on Crosby, and the skills and genetics possessed by Iorg, could make these contracts two of the best investments they have made in any draft in any year.

Iorg could be playing shortstop in Detroit in two seasons. Crosby is three years younger and has a longer developmental path, but fans should have fun watching him climb.

Big Al: Again, the Tigers don't draft Iorg and Crosby if they didn't have every intention of signing them, and had a good idea that they could. Considering the relatively small amount of money ($8 million and change will buy you 1 average big leaguer) it took to sign the 3 premium prospects, if only 1 of of them becomes an impact ballplayer for the Tigers, then it was money well spent.

I totally agree with Henning, in that who would you rather pay? A bottom rung player with big league experience and no upside, or a young talented ballplayer who may not pan out, but if he does, you could have a bona fide star on your hands.

It's a no-brainer. When given the choice between an average to below average big leaguer, who's low risk with a very low reward (Think TBHoS), or a prospect who carries a higher risk but comes with the good possibility of a high reward (Crosby and Iorg), give me the prospects, 10 times out of 10.

Q: Is Porcello worth it? Aren't there serious gambles in signing a high school pitcher?

Henning: Sure, just as there were gambles in signing Kenny Baugh and Kyle Sleeth, two college first-rounders selected by the Tigers this decade who likely have been set back permanently by arm problems. There was a huge gamble by Florida eight years ago in signing Beckett.

Scouts will tell you Porcello is right there with Beckett when it comes to extraordinary, 18-year-old pitching talent.

Big Al: Wow, Henning is actually making sense this week. Who knew such a thing was possible?

There's risk involved with every prospect. You're rolling the dice with Porcello. You may crap out, but the odds are goods that you'll roll a 7. Just think of what the rotation will look like 3 or 4 seasons from now. Bonderman, Verlander, Miller, and Porcello could become the dominant rotation of their era, much like the Orioles of the 70's or the Braves of the 90's. Gets me all warm and fuzzy feeling just thinking about it...

Dave Dombrowski just has to trust his scouts that Porcello is a justifiable risk. From all accounts, he's worth taking that leap of faith.

Q: How did owner Mike Ilitch become inclined to spend big money, and irritate Major League Baseball, in going past the hallowed slotting?

A . Ilitch backs his executives when he believes in them, and he believes in Dave Dombrowski and his staff, just as he implicitly trusts Jimmy Devellano and Ken Holland of the Red Wings.

That means Ilitch will write big checks when warranted.

He understands signing thoroughbred amateur talent is the way you compete when you're not the Red Sox or Yankees and can't carry payrolls in the $200 million range.

Big Al: When you have absolute trust in the people running your franchise, you aren't afraid to open the checkbook. As Henning mentions, Ilitch has complete confidence in the Red Wings front office, and is more than willing to pony up the cash when needed. He now has the same attitude when it comes to Dave Dombrowski and the Tigers.

Trust means everything. It's obvious that Dombrowski has earned Ilitch's. If Dombrowski says that a huge contract for Rick Porcello will be money well spent, considering his excellent track record in identifying young arms, Ilitch would be silly to believe otherwise.

Q: So why does Major League Baseball and plenty of rival teams act as if the Tigers are heretics who should be burned at a Bud Selig-erected stake?

Henning: Because the Tigers sometimes identify high-caliber talent that is more expensive than Selig's slotting system allows.

Give Ilitch credit. It isn't easy to buck the commissioner's office, and it isn't easy to be the target of the cold war MLB and some of its more obedient members are waging against Detroit.

But Ilitch has prudently decided the Tigers can be competitive at a far saner price by investing in amateur talent than by spending $103 million for Daisuke Matsuzaka or $126 million for Barry Zito.

Big Al: Because many owners, specifically the small market ones, are cheap ass bastards, who would rather have have a few million dollars extra on their bottom line, than have a competitive team. The Tigers have proven that it makes infinitely more sense to spend heavily on excellent prospects, than totally mortgaging the future on a free agent or three.

Think the Giants wouldn't want to take a mulligan in regard to the Barry Zito contract? It was a stupid deal when they signed Zito, who had shown warning signs of no longer being dominant, it's still a stupid deal now, with Zito on the DL, and it'll remain a stupid deal as Zito's skills decline, but will continue to be paid like one of the best pitchers in baseball. The Giants hamstrung themselves with just 1 contract, a contract they are going to regret for years to come.

The Tigers have figured out that it's better to develop pitching from within, than buy free agents, or trade for help using pitching prospects who have been developed in-house, to fill holes in the everyday lineup. It's a philosophy that's worked very well to this point.

Q: What kind of pressure can MLB exert on the Tigers?

Henning: Specific details are rarely divulged. But think of it this way: If you have a tense relationship with a business client, or with an overseeing body, you know how many days can be made miserable by the sheer stress and acrimony produced by an entity that doesn't much like you.

The Tigers have been good citizens in all aspects save for the occasional, and rare, decision to pay good prospects more than Selig's arbitrary slot-ceiling.

That's a gutsy move on their part. But it pays off for the club and the fans.

Selig's office should also acknowledge that it makes financial sense for the investing clubs when paying over slot is done rarely and judiciously. And that's what the Tigers have done all along.

Big Al: As I'm not an "Insider" like Henning, I can only guess what the grand poobah's of MLB will do. But I can imagine...

Bud-lite - Ooooo, I'm sooooo angry with youse guys! I'm really hearing it from from the Twins, the Royals, and the Reds about the Porcello contract! They are sooooo mad! I even made a salary slotting chart, and you ignored it!

Mike Ilitch: Sorry to hear that, Bud. But I did what I thought was best for my team, and the fans. Don't forget, we didn't break any rules.

Bud-lite: But..But...But...Didn't you get the memo? There was a gentleman's agreement!

Mike Ilitch: Wouldn't that be collusion? That's against the law, Bud.

Bud-lite: Ooooo, now I'm really mad! I'm...I'm...I'm going...

Mike Ilitch: Going to do what, Bud?

Bud-lite: I'm going to send you a sternly worded e-mail, and I'm going to CC it to EVERY owner in baseball! I'll forward it to the media too! That'll show youse guys who's boss!

Mike Ilitch: Is that all?

Bud-lite: Is that all?! Just for that, I'm going make you wait in line for the all you can eat buffet at the winter meetings! So there!

Mike Ilitch: Well, if you say so, Bud. We'll just have to abide by your ruling.

Bud-lite: Damn straight, you'll abide by my ruling! The commissioner says so! I'm glad we had this talk. Don't let it happen again.

Mike Ilitch: Uh... sure thing Bud.

Bud-lite - Off the phone: I sure showed them!

Mike Ilitch - Off the phone: Just wait till he hears about the Iorg and Crosby contracts...