Monday, August 27, 2007

How I stay a fan of the Detroit Lions, I'll never know...

After watching the Lions get destroyed by the Colts Saturday, I'm oh so temped to call the Lions 2007 season officially over. Seriously.

We all know the drill. The 3rd exhibition game is the dress rehearsal for the NFL season. Every season the Lions say this rehearsal will show all the naysayers that things have changed. And every year they prove the naysayers correct, and get DRILLED.

If a Broadway play had a dress rehearsal comparable to the Lions' dress rehearsal, the producers would declare the play unsalvageable, and close it on the spot. The Lions don't have that option, and we fans will have to endure another embarrassment of a season.

Nothing has changed. The defense can't stop anyone at any time. Period. The defensive backfield is awful. Period. The offense can't run the ball. Period. There is no legitimate backup QB. Period. The head coach is in over his head. Period.

Sgt. Marinelli made another in a series of questionable in-game coaching moves by taking a penalty, giving the Colts another shot at a 3rd down conversion, rather than forcing a 4th down field goal attempt. Of course, Indy converted 3rd and long. Hell, the Lions haven't stopped anyone on 3rd in long since Alex Karras and Joe Schmidt were terrorizing offenses in the 60's.

The faces change, yet the results never do. The Lions are a BAD football team.

Yet why do fans think that Rod Marinelli has the Lions headed in the right direction? Because he talks a good game? Because he looks like a football coach? Because...I'm out of reasons. I wasn't sold on Marinelli a year ago, and I'm not sold on him now.

Marinelli has supposedly cleaned out the locker rook of malcontents. Unfortunately, the sucky malcontents were replaced with sucky and injury prone happy campers. Either way, we are looking at a double digit loss team.

The Lions are as far from being a playoff contender as Mike Vick is from being a dog lover.

Supposedly the Lions' chief front office baboon, TWFE's favorite whipping boy, Matt Millen, has less say in personnel matters. Instead, Marinelli and Mike Martz have a larger say as to the makeup of the roster. So who's to blame for the total cluster that has become the backup QB position?

I'm not expecting Jon Kitna's backup to be a world beater. But I do expect him to look like a NFL QB. Right now, I haven't seen one. Against the Colts 1st string, JT What's-His-Name looked exactly like what he is, a reject from NFL Europa. Dan Orlovsky is in his 3rd NFL season, and can't beat out JT What's-His-Name.

If Kitna goes down, the Lions would be best off to raise the white flag, forfeit their remaining games, and come back in 2008.

More than just the loss, but HOW the Lions lost, was what disturbed me the most. The Colts did what they wanted, how they wanted, when they wanted. Peyton Manning would throw for 100 TD's in a season if he faced the Lions defense for 16 games.

All in all, the Lions' exhibition season, even with 2 blah victories, has done little to convince me that the Lions even have a shot at a .500 season.

So what do I see from the Lions with 2 weeks till the NFL regular season?

No running game.
No legit backup QB's.
No pass rush.
No legit defensive backs.
Injuries up the wazoo.
A head coach who has done nothing but hand out platitudes like "Pound the rock."
An offensive coordinator who would like to throw the ball 99% of the time.
6 wins, 10 losses, and another top 5 draft pick.

1 comment:

  1. Hey man you hit right on the head,although it's not hard with this team the ownership makes it easy.I could go on &on but then I'd leave you with nothing to write about so I'll let it go. However I do have the solutions to our problems & it's not my fantastic spelling, Ihave a hard enough time with my HEN PECKING abilities Damm, Ishould have taken typing 101 back in 1980 H.S. like my teacher said.I said guys don't need to type how was I to know the enternet was coming Al Gore should have sent me a heads up. besides what I believe tobe the anwsers I've got a greatstory to tell about Wayne Fontes.Without sounding to arrogant or cocky the one chance I got was a home freakin' run, although most may not believe what I'm about to tell it's the TRUTH & with a little archives research could probibly be proven,remember I'm not cocky just confident in my abilities & techniques. when dealing with grown men you can rarely make they do as you say, but to trick them into coming up with the idea you have intended, with that being said I will now go off on my rant .
    I don't believe in the caoaching philosophies of today like the MAD MARTZ'S. you got tobe vesitile, flexible,a rolling ploting, thinking machine that can interchange with each week, you got to know how to get into the heads of men.I do a little coaching but not enough it's a tough click to enter into without known someone. The set in stone my or the highway 5 inches of playbook I think is in the past, besides most the players today could probibly barly carry 5 inches of books in college let a lone remember it.I've been sucsessful changing my style to fit the guys you got your not always going to have players that match up to your standards, take there strengths & build from the inside out, don't make guys do what they can't do or want to let them do what there good at thats the real reason we lost BARRY so early in his career. I take LEMONS & make KICK ASS LEMONAIDE. Now this story may sound like a dream ,but it's 100 % LE' GIT
    ( check archives )
    I'm a Califoria born life long 42yrs. LOINS FAN. We'll call it a birth defect for now, until' these a cure or a better name for it.When I was born the doctor look at my mother with a strange face she said what is it yellow jondise no he said its hanaluluitis he's gunna be a LIONS FAN. LOL.Being from Cali you know I'm Freakin' crazy. Basicly I feel I'm resposible for the game plan that gave LION fans thier greatest WIN in the superbowl ERA. Here's how during the Wayne days I use to call into Waynes office in hopes of catching the coach to offer my unsolisited advice, although I never got to speak with Wayne I did develope a relationship with his sec. she was prety football savy,over the coarse of a couple of years she would reconize my voice & if she had the time she'd give me a couple of min. I'd pass along thoughts & ideas.Then in 1991 I got a break through that most fans would give thier left nut for.It was play off time Dallas was coming to town a 14 pt. fav. & I had a 100 % gaurantee game plan & I convenced her to jot it down pass it along,even say it was her idea if she had too, I could hear the pencil on the paper & figured it was 50 50 chance she was'nt scriblin'. this was the day after our last play off win & we had all week to game plan.So I got off the phone & waited til' sunday in hopes my plan would go through I knew that if Wayne heard of this plan he'd think it was brillant.On the day of the game I even called the Detroit radio broad cast station a couple of hours before kick off & got on live I geuss the thought of a fan calling from Cali would be good for listeners I sang a song that I had wrote that week live made an outragess prediction of something like 33 to 17 you could hear the entire station laughing that I thought the LIONS could, but I was hoping for Wayne got my message. By the way the fight song I wrote is kickass & the one we have is perrtty gay, no disrespect to gays this was before gay was cool. If anyone would like to hear it just ask acebngr you can find him if anyone remembers that day & heard me sing on the radio I guess I got the last laugh that day.Back to the story, here's the game plan I gave it was quite nice basicly Wayne never ran anything but a single back system,my plan was to play the game in differant two back sets using BARRY as a decoy, put BARRY in motion & Give it to I think it was Derrick Moore I'm not sure I really only remember BARRY, right up yhe gut,WE all know were BARRY went so did 1/2 the other team then put Derrick in motion fake to BARRY & throw it,mixing it up with this stratigy giving it to BARRY every 4th or 5th play just to keep them honest. always sending BARRY away from the play leaving gapping holes for the rest. the key to this was that Dallas would make ajustments at half & think they got it figured out except in the second half we would reverce rolls,now putting Derrick in motion & give it to BARRY,put BARRY in motion,fake it to DErrick & swing out to BARRY sorry about the CAPS on BARRY but it just looks better. Well you get the idea you seen the game,you should have seen me when the game started & we got our first chance with the ball I heard the guys in the booth say what this some kinda of trick play surely Detroits not going to use a two back set Waynes been runnin' the silver streak for years now, you never seen a man jump so high or scream so loud Wayne you smart mother f@^*ker. This was the greatest showing of smoke & mirrors ever & yet such a simple plan. Unfortunatly Wayne did not listen the next week & we got clobbered, I had sent in the wish bone plan it would have work well on Wash. ground & pound. However the Dallas victory was very sweet for me one of the best days in my life,if Wayne just coulda listened the following week we woulda been in the super bowl.
    Now let's move forward 10 years later I now live in FLA. a town called Tarpon Springs. I'd only been in town a couple of weeks did't know a sole I was in a bar telling this story to aLIONS fan there are a lot of them here, snow birds they callem' the drunk guy I was telling my story to informs me that Wayne of all people lives here in Tarpon & he knows him well & thought that I was full of SHIT
    & that I was a liar & would't last long in this town & would love to see what Wayne thinks about it. I was thinking to my self maybe I could meet Wayne gently ease into my story & possibly talk him back into coaching. Well like my whole life story I talk about something & then it comes to pass well almost, Just then who do you think walks into the bar thats right Mr. Fontes himself with a BIG FAT cigar in his hand & everyone in the place giving him a presidental welcome.This old drunk that I was chatting with looks at me & says now we'll see who you are.You better start packing cause this towns not for you, I begged him not say anything about it because it could be inbarassing to Wayne after all it had been his WIN up until' then so he calls Wayne over & like he said he did know Wayne & Wayne knew him I said this a bad idea the drunk says thats because your full of SHIT,Wayne come over he says I'd like to introduce you to a new friend of mine Wayne this is Al , Al Wayne Fontes we shook hands & then he Wayne this was just telling me a story about that he has & I think you'll find it interesting. Wayne says sure what is it this drunk starts rattling off the story I had just told a lot faster than I just typed it.
    The expression on Wayne face was priceless he seemed to go from happy to mad in 3.5 sec. & in a flash Wayne says that nice & without blinking an eye or saying another word he turns & walks straight out the door. The drunk turned to me said let me buy you a beer & welcome to the neighborhood I believe your story cause Waynes never come in hear without going all the way in & having a drink or two with the owner. That over 6 years ago & I have not seen Wayne since. The owner thought I said something to piss him off & has not cared for me ever since, the old guy just said that was the coolest thing he'd ever seen & laughed,have'nt seen him since either. I wish Wayne would have stuck around it would've been nice to ease into the story I did
    t want to demean him in any way.
    Thanks for listening to the rants & raves ...... GO LIONS
    Ace Banger the GURU ..............

    NOW back to the future & how I would fix the LIONS today

    #1 I know some of you will be pissed at what I'm about to say
    but here it goes.I know it's been rough believe me, but at least your thier & you can do something about it. I know it's tough when you go down a couple of scores early, but you can,t startbooing in the 1st. qtr. I've had NFL ticket since it came out & it seems to me that the team goes as the fans go.this year lets try some reverse phyc. & the worse things get the more possitive, loud& supportive you should be over time this action will rub off on the team I promise.

    for the fans I would cut prices give out shirts, banners, fingers not the middle ones,what ever it takes to show that your needed to help this team win.

    #2 I think we should bring in my fight song it ROCKS it's fresh it's got a great beat & its tough.

    #3 I'd like to se a real uniform changeI also have a line on that.
    visualize this rather than a LION on both sides imagine one BIG LION
    starting at the top of the face mask with the head of the LION mouth wide open ,CHROME TEETH in the face of the opponent snarwling at them maybe a couple drops of blood drippin' from the mouth,the ridge of the spine & back running up to the top of the helmet,the front paws with claws of CHROME LUNDGIN' out just above the ear hole & the rest of the body coming down the back with the rear paws & claws just below the ear hole & the tail finishing the stripe down the back of the helmet. I'd keep the blue & silver some things just need to remain the same,a little black & off white , but wood make the LION in realistic colors not
    cartoon,maybe a LIONS tail like a wip running down the leg of the pant for a stripe NOW thats intemidation, it would still be the leaping roaring LION just a bit more today..........

    #4 I'd crush every team we faced with the simplest of playbooks.
    forget about Iformation 2 tight 84 xz cross power on 2 crap
    a 5 inch playbook does not make you a coach, WINNING does.
    I'd have 50 to 60 plays 1/2 run1/2 pass would'nt be cool to be in the huddle & say let's run old # 27 on first sound ready break
    it's all about timing & mis direction,keeping the opponent off balance IT'S JUST THAT EASY !!!

    P.S. last year I was back to my old tricks before the season started & Marinelli was hired, being that I live near Tampa I had no choice but to call 411 & get Mr. marinelli's hame phone # and continued my pursuit to be a part of it all & left several messages at his home then one day Mrs. marinelli called it was kinda cool almost like a pre interview over the phone did't get the call from coach or I would not be telling this story unfortunatly Ihad no college expreiance so I did not get the call that I really wanted

    Her's what LION FANS missed out on because of that. I had a master plan to set the team up for the next 10 years,it goes a little like this. My plan was all about the draft I even spoke with Mrs. Marinelli on draft day. she was shopping at all the cool spots in N.Y.C. I ask her to please call her husband I give him this message I now this could of worked
    & was possible to pull off.
    It goes like this think of the players we let go for free.I'd contact N.O. & Hou. offer them pick of the litter any 3 players not named Willaims both of them YES I like Mike, Kevin Jones or BIG BABY with that being said
    what team would't take say Joey , Pinner & Bly + our 2nd. rd. pick for the # 1 or 2 over all now think about this .........
    we take REGGIE #1 Matt Lienert #10 I knew he fall in our laps
    this would have givin' us that trio that it takes to WIN the SUPER BOWL just how do you thik we'd look with USC's trifecta that won there 1st. national title & add another Willaims to the mix OH MY GOD we'd be un stopable & Marinelli would be implanted for life insead of probibly moving back to Tampa within the next year or so...........
    shoulda coulda woulda
    Oh well you can lead a horse to water, well you know the rest of that story .......

    til' next time I'm Ace Banger ,the GURU

    For ??? or comments Acebngr can be found at