Chicago Bears @ Detroit Lions - The aftermath: Fire someone, anyone!

The reviews are in. The bloggers and MSM have spoken. The verdict? Everyone is DISGUSTED by the Detroit Lions.

At Out of Bounds, my compatriot in "The Knee Jerks," Eno, when he's not worrying about my health, is trying to see the lighter side of the Lions' ineptitude.

So why is everyone screaming and carrying on and getting all mad and stuff?

The Lions are high schoolers playing in the National Football League. What do you expect?

Laugh. It's the best alternative to crying.

I may have to adopt Eno's attitude, or I may burst a few blood vessels. (Which many of you believe is going to happen sometime this season) Maybe I could start with more Rod Marinelli jokes?

A priest, a rabbi and Rod Marinelli all walk into a bar. They start pounding the rock.

Rod Marinelli walks into a bar, and sits down. The bartender asks Marinelli, "Why the long face?" Rod replies, "I'm sad because I'm not pounding the rock."

Rod Marinelli goes into a bar, orders twelve beers and starts drinking them as fast as he can. The bartender says, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?" Rod says, "I'm thirsty from pounding the rock."

It's gotten so bad at Pride of Detroit, after saying the entire coaching staff deserve to be broomed, Sean is enforcing a new set of posting rules.

I am implementing a four-touchdown rule. If the Lions fall behind by 28 or more points, I am no longer going to provide live updates. I have to set some limits as I'll either be laughing at how bad this team is or crying. I hope it's the former, but either way, I don't want to waste my time watching this garbage team if they're getting blown out again.

Sundays for Lions fans have become one long exercise in torture. I can't blame him one iota. We all have our limits, and Sean has reached his.

Fire Millen (I'm still wondering what their new name will be) agrees with me, William Clay Ford has to go to a scorched earth policy when cleaning the up the roster, coaching staff and front office.

Outside of Calvin Johnson, Ernie Sims and Drew Stanton, there isn’t one person on this team, coach or player, that shouldn’t be worried about their job.

Bring in the flamethrower…time to start the burn and rebuild the team….again.

I'd add Jason Hanson and Nick Harris to the list, but other than that, no one's job should be safe. No way, no how. Blow it up, the sooner the better, so we can all move on. Pissed off, upset and angry is no way to go through life...except on Sunday afternoons.

The local MSM sees the writing on the wall, and the calls for Marinelli's job have hit the presses. The only reason anyone can come up with for keeping his job is a poor one. There's no one of head coaching caliber on Marinelli's staff...including Marinelli himself, unfortunately.

The Killer:

The short-term problem for Ford is there isn't anybody on the coaching staff who is qualified to take over for Marinelli. That in itself should mean Marinelli will finish out the season.

Wojo:

This is beyond disgusting, beyond repair, practically beyond comprehension. It's so bad after the Lions' fourth straight blowout loss -- 34-7 to Chicago Sunday -- something more must be done.

You could fire the head coach, Rod Marinelli, who's now 10-26, except there isn't a suitable replacement on staff, or anywhere in the vicinity.

Sharp:

But firing Marinelli now accomplishes nothing.

Who from the current staff could anyone trust on an interim basis? Offensive coordinator Jim Colletto? Are you serious? The Lions still can't score a touchdown in the first quarter.

Defensive coordinator Joe Barry? You're kidding, right? The Lions still can't stop opposing teams from scoring touchdowns in the first quarter ... and the second quarter ... and the third.

Kippy Brown?

Anyone with an active pulse and a whistle?

How sad is the situation when the move that makes the most sense, Marinelli getting the ziggy, can't be made because everyone on his staff is too incompetent to take over?

It's gotten so bad, columnists are even making the same, lame, obvious, unfunny jokes...

Wojo:

It's so sickeningly repetitive, I thought the fans might get confused and start a "Hire Millen!" chant.

The Little Fella:

Hire Millen!

Aw, come on, if you don’t laugh now, you’ll cry.

Dudes, at least compare notes in the press box before...wait. Knowing Albom, he wasn't at the game. So I'm letting Wojo off the hook. And what's with everyone crying? Tears of anger, maybe. I'm too pissed to be sad...

Here's a shocker! The Worst Columnist in America agrees with me!

Rod Marinelli must be fired. Today.

I must be living in Bizarroland. I think I need to lie down.

At the 4 Letter, their NFC North blogger, Kevin Seifert, thinks the Lions may not have a choice in canning their under fire head coach. The pain may become too much for even Ford to endure.

What will the Lions do if things don't get better -- and quickly? Ford Field was half-empty before the fourth quarter began Sunday, and at least some fans aren't going to stick around for 12 more games of this. Team officials want to let coach Rod Marinelli finish out the season, but how much pain are they willing to endure?

Your guess is as good as mine. I'll admit I've reached my pain threshold. Any more pain, and I'll become menatally unstable.

WHAT?!