The Little Fella deigns to become the Wolverines' moral compass, still thinks it's 1978

In today's Freep, Mitch Albom takes a break from working on his latest diabetes inducing best-seller for the Oprah crowd, to weigh in on the Michigan/WVU/Rich Rodriguez soap opera.

(For what it's worth, the latest shot in the war of words between RichRod and WVU was fired by his assistant head coach, Calvin Magee, who accused his former employer of overt racism in their hiring process.)

The Little Fella, full of righteous indignation, asks a rhetorical question about coaching buyouts.

What bugs me is that Michigan never used to be involved in stuff like this. Since when did it start buying out coaches? First John Beilein with the basketball team. Now Rodriguez. To me, this is a form of legalized extortion. Some other school wants to hire your employee, you demand a payoff. It's ugly and has no place in a college environment. I wish Bill Martin, U-M's athletic director, had the nerve to say that.

You know, the Little Fella might be correct in saying it "Doesn't belong in a college environment," but that IS today's environment. There's no putting that cat back into the bag. But buyout = extortion? A tad little over the top, methinks.

It's just a fact of today's multi-million dollar coaching contracts. Schools would like to build in a little protection on their huge investment. It's not as if a coach has to agree, as I'm sure Rodriguez wasn't forced to to sign on the dotted line.

To be honest, the only reason Michigan had not become embroiled in the buying out coaches from other schools in the past is that they were damn lucky. The Pollyannaish Albom writes as if he still believes it's 1978, and coaches were making 100K, if they were lucky. This isn't your father's college football, it's big business.

40 years of Bo Schembechler and his lineage led to Michigan football to great heights. But in the process, it also became the most sheltered program in the country. When Lloyd Carr stepped down, U of M football was no longer the best of the best, but an blinders wearing inbred anachronism that had been flailing about in a new era, and was in desperate need of new blood.

The Little Fella thinks different...

But Michigan football used to be more special. It was never sullied with departure lies or shredding, because it promoted from within. It didn't deal with buyouts for the same reason.

Special? Why do fans and alumni of other schools despise the Wolverines? Because of that high level of inflated self-importance. That's "Michigan Man" arrogance at it's most grating.

How would the Little Fella have gone about replacing Carr? Oh yeah, hire an unqualified, unsuccessful, or inexperienced coach that was already on staff. You don't think Michigan would have hired from within again if they had someone who was qualified to run the program?

The Little Fella should realize the Bo tree ended with Lloyd Carr, for good reason. None of Carr's assistants have proven worthy as a head coach. Doesn't he remember Mike Debord's disastrous tenure at CMU? Brady Hoke has been nothing more than mediocre at Ball St. Then there's Cam Cameron, who's been shown the door at 2 head jobs, running both Indiana (18-37) and the Miami Dolphins (1-15) down to new depths.

Ron English and Scott Loeffler may break the trend down the line, but as of right now, they aren't ready. Especially for a job as prestigious as Michigan. So what was the university to do? What any other program would have done. Hire away a proven, successful coach from another school.

Then the Little Fella chimes in on recruiting...

And since when did Michigan football start hinging on high school recruits? I have heard more lately about Terrelle Pryor, the Pennsylvania prep quarterback, than I ever can recall hearing about a kid who doesn't yet have a high school diploma. Is this how we are going to judge Rodriguez? By who he reels in?

You know of any other way to judge Rodriguez right now, Mitch? Rodriguez needs to hit a home run with his first recruiting class, thanks to the radical changes to come in the Michigan offense. This ain't Dropback QB U anymore.

But to answer your first question, why Michigan football "hinges" upon a single recruit? Look in the mirror, Mitch. Your own paper says as much! What's the above the fold lede on the Freeps' Sunday sports page?

THE CHASE FOR THE NATION'S TOP HIGH SCHOOL RECRUIT

TERRELLE PRYOR VISITS U-M: Fans serenade him; Rich Rodriguez hands-on; 'It's cool,' QB says

If it's in print, it must be true, right? I'm sure your paper will be more than happy to pile on Rodriguez if he doesn't land Pryor.

The Little Fella then gives his haughty, holier than thou opinion on the BCS...

If so, Michigan has jumped in the same mucky waters as many other win-crazed schools, who are only concerned with BCS, not the BS it requires. Some feel that's what sports should be. They are entitled to their views.

Get off your fucking high horse! This isn't the Ivy League. This isn't college football circa 1950. It's MICHIGAN you're talking about.

I'm not denying the fact money has changed college football, in many ways for the worse. The Little Fella also forgets that for many years, when Don Canham was athletic director, Michigan led the way in monetizing and marketing a football program. They were praised to high heave for being such a forward thinking athletic department. They became THE model of a modern football factory.

Michigan has just as much to do with creating this monster called college football, and treating it as a big time, for profit, always in the black business, as the most win-crazed SEC school. Schools the Big 10, and Albom, tend to self-righteously look down on.

The Little Fella conveniently forgets the massive amounts of cash the football program brings into Michigan's coffers foots the bill for the sports that more closely fit his view of what college athletics should be. They are called non-revenue sports for a reason.

I think it's pretty safe to say that Michigan has always been a win-crazed school when it comes to football. You know that song, "The Victors," with lyrics like "The leaders and the best" and "Champions of the west?" It was written in 1898. After the Wolverines won a football game. The school's self worth, for better or worse, has always been defined by football. That will never, ever change at Michigan.

The Little Fells finishes by rehashing what he's already written in the previous paragraphs...

But Michigan football used to be more special. It was never sullied with departure lies or shredding, because it promoted from within. It didn't deal with buyouts for the same reason.

I guess if he says it twice, he believes we'll be more likely to agree. That, or he needed to fill column inches.

Yet in Rodriguez's new Michigan contract, just revealed, there is -- guess what? -- a $4-million buyout clause. And if U-M ever finds itself on the opposite side of that one, we quickly will see how folks around here behave eerily similar to the angry fans in West Virginia.

As for Michigan inserting a buyout clause? Well, duh... It's SOP for any coaching contract. Michigan would be negligent if they didn't add such a clause. I'll need to be convinced that it's going to be an issue anyway. Michigan has been considered a terminal job, a final destination position, for...Well, forever.

If Rodriguez is successful, the only step up would be to the NFL. The only reason the NFL would come calling is if Rodriguez is winning a TON of games. I think most Michigan fans can live with taking that chance.

I find Albom's railing on and on about the lack of integrity in college athletics farcical. It's coming the same person who's been busted for what would normally be a fireable offense for any other columnist, fabricating stories. Other than a columnist who's a best selling author, and a TV/radio celebrity. That columnist just has to write an apology.

The Little Fella criticizing anyone, or any institution, for a lack of integrity? Please. Pot, I'd like you to meet kettle...

The Little Fella uses Ben Wallace to lecture us all on the topic of loyalty. The newspaper union says, "Huh?"

Mitch Albom, seems to think of himself as the (self appointed) conscience of Detroit sports, even though he rarely deigns to cover them. His latest misguided diatribe is pointed directly at Ben Wallace.

Brian, of The Sports Frog, a kindred spirit in his feelings about the so-called columnists in Detroit, chided the Little Fella, telling TWFE, "Apparently, the Little Guy is now jaded for life." Hammer, meet nail...

I had also read the latest Little Fella missive yesterday, and wanted to comment on it, but it's taken me a good 24 hours to digst the tripe he spewed. And mavelous tripe it is...

But I don't have to listen. And I won't. In fact, I probably won't listen to any athlete the same way again.

Oh, sure, after all these years in the business, I should be steeled against players who sing the team fight song right up to their free agency -- then suddenly start singing, "Money, Honey." But I really thought Wallace was different. I really thought, given the kind of player he is, when he spoke about this city, how it shaped him, celebrated him, that he meant what he said.

Less than two months ago, I asked Ben point-blank if he wanted to sign back with Detroit.

"Of course, of course," he told me.

But last week, he told ESPN, "Sometimes you just need to make a change, and I felt it was time."

There's words. And there's actions.

Oh good Lord. Can he become anymore self-rightous? The Little Fella thought Wallace was different? Saying "Of course" isn't exactly the ringing endorsement Albom makes it out to be.

It's not as if the Little Fella fell off the turnip truck yesterday. He's been a columninst for longer than most of us care to remember. What in the Hell did he expect Wallace to say? If the pious Little Fella spent more time with the athletes he supposedly covers, rather than writing sickly sweet novellas for the more sensitive amongst us, he might have realized that Wallace had been talking out of both sides of his mouth for some time. As soon as Big Ben hired Arn Tellem as his agent, it was appearent that Wallace was chasing the Brinks truck, and that truck might not stop in Detroit.

Mitch, as you say, there's words, and then there's actions. That would apply in a newspaper strike too, you think?

Then the Little Fella plays the loyalty card... HA!

And in so doing, he is no different than most pro athletes. It's just that we thought he was. Ben Wallace made himself a player. But Detroit made him a star. The Pistons took him from a no-name Orlando Magic castoff and turned him into an icon, a hard hat hero. The Pistons celebrated his muscle, his hair, they put him on billboards and sold him as their "Goin' to Work" centerpiece.

In the end, it wasn't about going to work. It was about getting paid. And again, the only thing bothersome is that Wallace gave signals that it wasn't. He told me that being the highest-paid guy wasn't the only thing that mattered. Yet when the Pistons offered him around $12 million a year for four years -- the fattest salary ever offered a Detroit basketball player -- he asked for more. WAY more.

According to a person in the negotiations, Wallace sought $20 million a season. If so, Ben was right when he said he didn't have to be the highest-paid Piston. He wanted to lead the league!

I think he forgets a few things. First, let me fix that first line for you Mitch.

"And in so doing, he is no different than most pro athletes any of us."

Of course it's about getting paid. Wallace just set up his grandkids for life. As for "Signals?" Was there a bigger one than the hiring of a big time agent?

The Pistons made him a star? I think Wallace himself had a little to do with that. Sure, the Pistons helped to make him a star, and I'm sure Wallace was grateful for the opportunity he was given, but to bring up loyalty? Loyalty is a 2 way street, and that street is nonexistent in pro sports.

The Pistons are a business, first and foremost. Just ask Bill Davidson about paying a luxury tax, if you don't believe it. You think the Pistons would have dropped Wallace like a hot potato if he hadn't performed or had gotten hurt? Just ask our favorite whipping boy, Darko. It was a business partnership that worked out on both sides for 6 years. Even though we fans weren't happy about how it ended and what the Pistons now look like, it looks to me that both sides thought that that partnership had run it's course. It took the Pistons less than 24 hours to replace Ben Wallace.

As for the pie in the sky number used to start negotiations? That's why it's called "Negotiations." The Little Fella can't be serious. No team in their right mind was going to give Wallace 20 million. But it doesn't stop you from asking for the moon at the beginning. It did net Wallace 15 million a year, so they did sometihng right.

I'm sorry, but I'm not leaving 12 million dollars on the table out of a misguided sense of loyalty to what is basically a business entity. Trust me, if the Pistons had gotten the right offer, anyone, including Wallace, would have been traded in a heartbeat. So don't give me the loyalty arguement. At that level, it's all bullshit.

I think the last person to be lecturing another on loyalty is someone who crossed his own union's picket line. You know, pot, kettle, that sort of thing...

The pot contines to talk about the kettle...

Instead, he jumps to a team that hasn't won a playoff series in eight years. Yes, $60 million for four years is a lot of money. So is $48 million. You don't starve either way.

But you do give up something by choosing the former. You give up the right to be believed when you talk about team, city or fans. You should only talk about money.

Yeah, and "The 5 People You Meet in Heaven at the Bank," and the blatant fiction that was "Fab Five" weren't about the money, either.

So Wallace talks today, and he'll promise his devotion and work ethic to the Bulls and Chicago. Just words. All words. In the end, I shouldn't be disappointed that Ben went for the green. I should be disappointed that I ever thought he wouldn't.

No, you should be disappointed in yourself for jumping to conclusions. For not looking deeper into the situation. Deeper than you dug into the Michigan basketball program, anyway. We're talking about pro sports, where you can never take anything at face value. That's something you'd think a former "Sportswriter of the Year" would have realized from the start.

You want to know TRUE disappointment? Reading the Little Fella's columns...

A look back in Lions history with the Little Fella

For some odd reason, the Freep is running old columns by the Little Fella of their website. I saw the following in my RSS reader...

EDITOR'S NOTE: On Aug. 4, 1985, Mitch Albom made his debut in the pages of the Detroit Free Press. Since then, of course, he has gone onto nationwide fame as a sports columnist and worldwide fame as an author. This is an Albom column that was originally published on Nov. 15, 1988. This is the first in a series of columns written by Albom that we will run on freep.com.

Uh...OK. But why? Am I missing something here? Is there an anniversary of some sort? Is the Freep trying to embarrass the Little Fella, by reminding everyone what a marvelous sports writer he was, once upon a time, long, long ago, in a Detroit that's far, far away?

I became even more conflicted when I read the column. It was actually good!

The Freep saw fit to reprint Albom's take on Wayne Fontes being named interim head coach of the Lions after Darryl "What does a guy have to do to get fired around here" Rogers was given the ziggy by a still somewhat lucid William Clay Ford.

The Big Buck, circa 1988:
Where have you gone Wayne Fontes, our fanbase turns their lonely eyes to you...

Ah, the winningest coach in Lions history, Wayne Fontes, and the good old days of finishing 9-7 every other season! I'm getting all warm and fuzzy thinking about it. Wait..that might be my pain pills kicking in...

Mitch takes us back to those wild and crazy days of 1988, when some of you reading TWFE were still wearing diapers. Well, for all I know, some of you may still be wearing diapers. Don't be offended, I'm headed in the opposite direction, with Depends being in my future. But I digress. Back to the Little Fella...

The team was tied for the worst record in the NFL, and Rogers had so thoroughly lost any influence over his men that you could picture him blowing a whistle, turning blue, while the Lions carried on their conversations, carefree and oblivious.

So Ford made the change. He fired Rogers on Sunday night and moved up Fontes, a popular guy with a gritty style. Rogers still had another year and five games left on his contract. The Lions will be paying him through 1989.

They just won't have to listen to him anymore.

Boy, the more things change...New century, same old shit. Just change the names and the dates, and you'd be describing the Lions of the Millen era. Want more proof?

This is the picture the Lions painted of their departed coach: a strangely mild man who showed little emotion, had minimal offensive strategy, and distanced himself from any outside effort to influence the team -- even when it was clearly positive.

Mitch could have been writing about Steve Mariucci, rather than Darryl Rogers. I read on, as it all sounded so eerily familiar.

Then they barked. The offense was a joke, they said. And privately, they all knew what was coming.

"Is the firing a good move?" someone asked quarterback Eric Hipple, who, even injured, has always had the pulse of this team.

"Yeah," he said, "it is. The only surprise is that it happened at this point in the season, instead of waiting until the end."

The team bitching about a lame offense? It's not 1988, it's 2005! For that matter, it could have been 1962, Again, the more things change...

My God, Eric Hipple! Back in 1981 he had the most impressive debut of any QB in NFL history, doing so on Monday night Football to boot. Hipple was a one man wrecking crew against the Bears, accounting for 6 TD's (4 passing, 2 running), and 300+ yards passing. (The Roar Report has a nice article about the legendary game) Unfortunately, Hipple was never that good again. Hell, no Lions QB has ever been that good, period. But once again, I digress...

Mitch continues, and talks to the patron saint of TWFE, the Big Buck, who says words that came to define the Lions franchise in the 90's...

But the future of Wayne Fontes, head coach with thick neck, does.

A chance to prove himself "I know this team better than anyone," said Fontes, in the banquet room of the Silverdome, wriggling in the unfamiliar grip of a suit and tie. "I know it better than Chuck Knox or Jerry Glanville or other coaches people may be talking about. And I'm here to prove it.

"I realize the arrangement right now is as an interim coach for the next five games only. . . . But I'm going to make it very hard for them to fire me."

"But I'm going to make it very hard for them to fire me." Oh. My. God.

A haunting use of words by the players coach with the "thick neck," Wayne-O. Good Lord, if we had only known how true those words would be...

Mitch continues, showing a very witty turn of phrase, and comparing Wayne to a certain cartoon character. Good fucking Lord, the memories are flooding back...

And whether he'll be here five weeks or five years, the first difference you notice between The New Guy and the old guy is that when Fontes says something, you believe him. Rogers always had a little problem with the truth. He tended to ignore it.

Not Fontes. The son of a Portuguese steel mill worker who laughs like a foreman, looks a bit like Fred Flintstone and says things like "my way or the highway," he seems almost too down- to-earth for his new role. Far from being "presidential," Fontes actually began to choke up during his press conference Monday, moisture filling his eyes when he talked about this new opportunity.

Damn, Albom used to be good. What the Hell happened? Oh yeah, he started selling mediocre, sap filled, movie ready books to sensitive types by the truck load...

You have admit it the Little Fella nailed Fontes from the start. He was a blue collar coach for a blue collar town, who was more bluster than bite, more entertaining than effective. Who would never, ever leave.

And we'll see what happens. It may well be that the Lions should pursue a more experienced coach in the off-season. Revamp the whole program. Pay big money for big expertise.

"Revamp the whole program?" Jesus, are we sure this column isn't from 2001? It just goes to show this generation of Lions fans that we've been living in a continuous loop of suck regarding our favorite NFL team. We fans have been calling for the blowing of the Lions up for decades. The media has been writing the same things about the Lions for decades. Worst of all, the Lions have been The Lions for decades.

I hope you enjoyed our look back at the Lions, and the Little Fella, of yore. As for yours truly? After reading this column, I'm suddenly feeling quite old. I'm going shopping for some Depends.

Mitch Albom's rewriting history again

Today, Mitch Albom wrote of his "Questioning" of Chris Webber during the Pistons press conference. Not surprisingly, Mitch gives himself too much credit, while dissing the rest of the media in attendance. Here's the Little Fella's version...

"at a news conference Tuesday where, for the first 10 minutes, the questions were basically light, bright and easy, I asked what I felt, as a journalist, needed to be asked.

I asked about Michigan. And booster Ed Martin. And money."

From reading that, the Little Fella would have you believe while the other members of the media were tossing softball after softball, he went after Webber with his 6-guns blazing, taking no prisoners. Much in the same way the late Joe Falls ambushed Mike Ilitch and Phil Garner with pointed questions about the direction of the Tigers franchise during their introduction of Garner as the new manager.

First off, as Ian mentioned in the comments to yesterday's "Ironic" post, WXYT's Dennis Fithian first broached the subject with Webber, if in a round about way. But as for Albom, here's the actual question Mitch asked, taken directly from the transcript of the presser posted on the Detroit Pistons website.

Chris, welcome back. Do you want to take this opportunity to talk about the Michigan situation? The Ed Martin and everything that happened. Talk about, “when it’s all said and done, well I will tell everything what really went on.” You have a great forum here and a chance to address that. What do you want to say about that and to the people of Michigan?

Mitch proudly claimed he asked about Michigan, Ed Martin, and the money. If fact, if that was true, the question would have come off a little more pointed and confrontational, wouldn't you think?

Perhaps something like...

"Are you ever going to apologize to the university and its fans for your part part in having the Michigan basketball program put on probation, thanks to your taking money from Ed Martin?"

To be honest, I'd bet that is damn close to what Drew Sharp would have asked. He's known for that kind of grandstanding. That sure wasn't what Mitch asked. The Little Fella gave Webber an easy out in the way he worded his "Tough" question.

I think was really gets me about the column is this little nugget.

"as someone who spent the better part of two years all but living around Webber and the Fab Five, I really hope it works out."

As I said yesterday, no other writer had that kind of behind the scenes access during those wild Michigan years. Which begs the question, how does a player take $280K, and a JOURNALIST not notice?

Something else bothers me about the whole Webber/Albom situation. Was the middle of a press conference the right time and place to ask Webber for his mea culpa in regard to the Martin scandal? In my mind, not even close. Webber is a smart guy. If he had been dumb enough to answer the "Question" Mitch asked, a media feeding frenzy would have ensued. It'd have been open season on Webber, and all questioning about his role on the Pistons would have gone out the front entrance of the Palace. NO WAY was Webber going to say anything, and the Little Fella knew it. It was a pure showboat, look-at-me move by a so-called "Media star."

Mitch also whines that Webber has said for years that "It's not the right time." Thing is, Webber has every right to decide when is "The right time." The cynic in me guesses that the "Right time" will be after Webber retires, and follows the path taken by other controversial athletes (Pete Rose and Jose Conseco come to mind), and has a book/website/TV show/product to pimp.

As a Michigan fan, I'm over the whole damn thing. It's water long under the bridge. And it's not as if Webber is the only one to blame. In the column, Mitch allows Steve Fisher to come off as an innocent in the whole affair, saying that, "He (Fisher) believed Chris." Personally, I find it hard to fathom that the head coach of a major conference team had no knowledge of the shady goings on that hovered around HIS program.

But that's another post for another day.

What it comes down to is this... The only people who haven't moved on from the Ed Martin scandal are newspaper columnists trying to sell papers, sports talk radio hosts trying to grab ratings, and a small handful of Michigan basketball fans who still hold a grudge.

I'm not saying that the vast majority of basketball fans willing to forgive and forget, to live and let live, are right or wrong. It just is what it is...

Personally, I just want to see the Pistons right their ship, rather than continue to talk about a long dead numbers runner and the grief that he caused.

The Little Fella is everywhere, even your local cineplex

I ran across this bit of horrifying "Entertainment" news...

Bestselling author Mitch Albom has sold his very first script to Columbia Pictures and Happy Madison Productions. According to Variety, the untitled film is being set up as a starring project for Adam Sandler.

Braindead meets pompous. Lowest common denominator humor meets lowest common denominator sap. Consider yourselves warned.

This couldn't be any worse than the abomination that was Sandler's "The Longest Yard," could it? Sandler took one of the top 5 sports movies of all time, and...I don't want to think about it.

Not that all Sandler flicks are bad. "Happy Gilmore" was an entertaining movie. But when he gets all sentimental, you end up with sappy crap like "Mr. Deeds," "Little Nicky" and "Big Daddy." Now imagine those films with the heavy-handed sentimentality of the Little Fella. Lord help us all.

Unfortunately, the Sandler/Little Fella combination will probably gross 150 million dollars, which will mean ever more Little Fella scribed feature films.

Just kill me now.

Isn't it ironic?

No, this isn't a post about Alanis Morissette singing about what a jerkass Dave Coulier was to her. Hold it, I'm off on my 90's pop culture, that was "You Oughta Know." Nor is it about her incorrect use of irony. ("A black fly in your Chardonnay" and "A traffic jam when you're already late" aren't ironic, just bad luck...)


What this post is about was the questioning that took place during Chris Webber press conference this afternoon. It's more about who asked a certain question, the one we knew was going to be asked. And why it was dripping with irony.

For the most part, we got the usual "Who/what/where/why/how" sort of softball questioning, and the pat answers you'd expect.

Then the Little Fella, believing himself to be the "Journalist" that he thinks he is, cinched his belt, gritted his teeth, gathered up all his gumption, and asked Webber of he had anything to say about the University of Michigan "Situation," or as he called it, "The elephant in the room."

As expected, Webber danced around the question, as he has for years. He said he was there to talk about the Pistons.

What's funny, or should I say, "Ironic," is that there was no writer who had more unfettered access to the Michigan basketball program, Webber, and the rest of the Fab 5, than Mitch Albom.

During the Ed Martin years, the supposed best sportswriter in the U.S. observed everything that was going down in Ann Arbor, witness to a basketball program careening towards renegade status. The Little Fella then somehow wrote that wonderful piece of fiction, a big sloppy French kiss to the baggy shorts and black socks era, a book called "Fab Five."

Unfortunately, the fiction that was "Fab Five" gave the Little Fella his start as one of the most popular writers of simple, short, syrupy sap in the world, with titles like "The 5 People Morrie Met in Heaven for One More Tuesday."

But the Little Fella to be the one asking Webber about the numbers money in the cake years? Could there been anything more ironic?

Albom asks what he should have been able to report on if he had anything other than selling a ton of books on his mind back in the day. His wearing of Maize and Blue colored glasses made for a compelling story, that in hindsight, was nothing more than a bunch of romanticized bullshit.

So 15 years later, we have the 2 facing each other in a press conference. We had Webber, who complained in the book that he didn't have the cash to even buy a pizza, and complained that the NCAA was making millions off his likeness, despite (As we found out a few years later) taking hundreds of thousands under the table. We also had Albom, who believed (Or ignored) everything he was told, and didn't bother call Webber on any it at the time, now trying to get him to do so.

Talk about ironic...

Reading between the lines

We can only be so lucky. After a couple of days reprieve from our local columnists bloviating, they're back. In force. Lets see what's on their self important minds today.

I don't know what to say. I never would have thought it possible. Our favorite fiction writer, the Little Fella, opines bout sports, AGAIN? What's going on here? His radio show being cut to 2 hours daily must leave him with extra time on his hands. He decides to talk about the very obvious comparisons you'll find between two rust belt cities. Unfortunatly, it's the same column he's written since his 80's heyday. You know the one. Where he repeats the same slightly reworded phrase throughout the piece.

Same column, different decade.
Same shit, different day.

The Little Fella starts with the obvious...

We like Pittsburgh.
We are Pittsburgh.

I get it, we're all blue collar folk. He continues...

We like Jerome Bettis.
We are Jerome Bettis.

We are going to be soooo tired of the Bettis angle. Now it gets strange...

We like Ben's beard.
We are Ben's beard.

Beard? What the Hell? Then more weirdness...

It snows there.
It snows here.

Thanks for the weather report, Frodo. This is award winning writing? Need I go on? Cause I sure can't...

Next is Michael Rosenberg, who should be the lead Freep sports columnist. With all the extra curriculars going on locally, a pretty big rivalry game is flying under the radar. He writes of tonights MSU - U of M match-up. Actually, it's more of a "State of the Programs" address. Sparty fans will nod their heads in agreement, but as for Wolverine fans? The truth hurts.

So, do you think Michigan's basketball team can close the gap against Michigan State tonight?

Sure. As long as U-M beats MSU at least a half-dozen times -- by double digits, of course.

And then Michigan would have to clinch a couple of Final Four berths, restock the team and clinch another.

And then the Wolverines would need to sell out at least 60 straight games. Yes, it sounds like a lot. But MSU has sold out twice that many in a row.

And Tommy Amaker would have to adopt the "anybody, anytime, anywhere" scheduling attitude of Tom Izzo.

And maybe U-M could upgrade its facilities (arguably the worst in the Big Ten) to the same level as MSU's (arguably the best in the country).

But close the gap with one victory?

Are you kidding me?

Rosenberg hits the nail on the head. Hard. Pure and simple, MSU basketball is Michigan football, and vice vera. Tommy Amaker has made up little, if any, ground against the juggernaut that is Tom Izzo. Rosenberg then makes a very good point that the Michigan Mafia should take to heart.

But two years ago, when Michigan finally beat Michigan State (by two points in Ann Arbor), a lot of people said the Wolverines had "closed the gap." And if Michigan wins tonight, those same people will say it again.

I think it's insane.

Michael Rosenberg, voice of reason. The time is well past for a program of Michigan's stature to look for moral victories and deluding themselves about the gap between the two schools in hoop. But this piece leads me to ask one question. Does the Little Fella even know this game is being played?

There's a new face on the newspaper scene, and it's someone we all know. Art "Red Wings do no wrong" Regner looks to have a weekly spot in the Freep. It's imaginatively called "Art's Take of the Week." In a scathing opinion piece, Art...places a big, wet, sloppy french kiss on Chris Chelios.

Since joining the Red Wings in 1999, Chelios has been a no-nonsense, belligerent blue liner. His experience and passion for hockey makes him just as effective today as he was when he broke in with Montreal during the 1983-84 season.

Forty-four years ago today, Chris Chelios was born in Chicago. I never thought I ever would say this, but this kid from Detroit would like to wish that kid from Chicago happy birthday.

That's hard hitting journalism at it's best! Come on Art, the Wings lose two straight to the Predators and you write a puff piece on Chelios? It's pure Art Regner, Red Wing fluffer. It's comparable, at best, to a Wobb Parker-esque Joe Dumars suck up fest. Speaking of that...

Good Lord, more drivel from Wobb Parker. What's going on at the News? Wojo barely writes, but this guy keeps pounding out inanities almost daily. Today he blusters about his favorite sport, baseball. Why now? No one is thinking about baseball, and won't be for another month, save for the message board sabre wonks. The free agency push is over, the Tiger Caravan is a total non event if there ever was one, and there is some kind of big ass football thing-a-majig coming to town in a few days. Let alone there's a little basketball game going on about a half hour west, just ask Rosenberg. But Wobb feels the need to make something out of nothing, that nothing being an off hand comment from Todd Jones, of all people.

"I'd feel a whole lot better if we had one more guy that we knew we could get 200 innings out of," said Jones, who is one of many Tigers in the midst of touring the state to meet and greet fans. "I don't know who's out there in the free-agent market other than (Jeff) Weaver, but he's been here before. So I don't know how that's going to work.

"If we could have one more guy that would give us a chance to win every time he goes out, I think that would be important."

Jones answers his own question. All that's out there is Jeff Weaver. A career under .500 pitcher whom Scott Boras deems worthy of a 10 million a year contract. Weaver would NEVER want to come back to the Tigers voluntarily. Say what you want about Dave Dombrowski, but he's not that stupid.

Did this column even need to be written? One paragraph is basically Jones' quote and the next is a quote from Jim Leyland saying it sure would be nice to have a little more pitching.

"I'd like to have another pitcher. And I would like to have another guy in the bullpen, preferably a lefthander. We're better. I think we'll do OK. We're certainly not perfect yet, so we got a ways to go. But if we can come up with another starter and a left-handed reliever, I'd feel real good."

Jim Leyland just said a whole lot of nothing. And Wobb didn't add anything other than the obvious. In a nutshell, the baseball "Expert" Parker says...Jones once pitched for the Tigers, he left, he was really good last year but now he's old, and the Tigers hope he'll be really good this year. The End.

Columists. Can't get enough of 'em...

Stereotypes are the refuge of a hack

The Detroit bashing I expected the media to do with unrestrained glee hasn't happened as of yet. For example,Mike Downey, former Freep lead columnist (Pre Little Fella), has some very nice things to say about Detroit and it's denizens in the Chicago Tribune. The line that hit most home to me?

No wonder a lot of Michigan folk can't take a joke. Most of them have heard one too many.

Truer words have not been spoken.

Up to this point, I've seen more in defense of the D than what you might expect. But that defense has come from either local media, such as in Michael Rosenberg's well thought out Fox Sports column, or from those who have lived here and are thus sympathetic, such as Downey. More typical is this article by Fox Sports Randy Hill, which has a harmless snark to it. He gets extra credit for taking a snide swipe at the Little Fella.

But the NFL Travelling All-Stars & Motor Kings haven't yet hit town. As soon as the heavy hitters of the media land at Metro this weekend, step into 30 degree cold, and see dark skies, they'll wish they were in SoCal and the gloves will come off.

We Michiganders know the drill all too well. Stereotypes will be used in force, and with malice. I guarantee hack columnists and lazy broadcasters will use the following examples: Rioting fans (I'll forever curse Bubba Helms), it's too damn cold, Devil's Night fires, high crime rate, crazy corrupt mayor, Beirut (Thank you Michael Wilbon), Bahgdad, Millen's an idiot. Well, the last is more of a fact, but still...

Maybe I'm going a little overboard, but years of denigrating Detroit have taken a toll on everyone that lives in the metro area. It's become personal. We all remember the cracks made during the last two NBA Finals and the Ryder Cup. If there had been a referee, he'd have thrown a flag for "Piling on."

So, in fairness to Detroit...I'm making a preemptive strike, starting with the Super Bowl participants...

Seattle - Latte drinking, Birkenstock wearing hippies that riot. (Remember the WTO meetings?) They are under the impression that Kurt Kobain was a tortured genius, not a strung out addict.
Pittsburgh - Laid off steel workers who drink beer with funny names and think Myron Cope, of all people, is a God? What the Hell is with those stupid yellow towels? Hey, I saw "The Deer Hunter..."
Boston - Racist city whose Irish drunks think the world revolves around the Sox and Pats.(Just ask them) Have a huge a inferiority complex in regard to NYC.
NYC - Smug goodfellas who think the universe revolves around them, but for some reason have to go to Jersey to watch football.
Philly - Thugs who believe Steakums and Cheez Whiz on a bun is a delicacy. I hear they hate Santa too...
Miami - Cualquier persona habla inglés?
Atlanta - General Sherman went through there for a reason. Nothing but a bunch of good ol' boys who are the worst sports fans in the country, unless it involves cars truning left.
LA - Anyone actually from LA? Anyone at all? Home of the transient, front running, bandwagon fan. (Suddenly a college football town thanks to USC, wasn't the Coliseum half empty 5 years ago?) They can't keep a pro football team and think Kobe Bryant's a role model. You best be packing heat when driving the expressway.
Chicago - Politically corrupt (Dead people vote...multiple times), full of fat guys that root fer da Cubs and da Bears. Have a World Series winning team that they could give two shits about. Think Ditka is the messiah. Let's not forget Steve Bartman...
Cincinatti - Hicksville. One step up from Columbus, and they thought Pete Rose had a cool haircut.
Cleveland - "Mistake on the Lake." Nothing more to be said.
Dallas - Cowboy boot wearing nouveau riche, meaing they have gold plated gun racks and 22" rims on their F-150.
Houston - Wants to be like Dallas. Everyone drives a beat up pickup truck with a gun rack while drinking beer from a paper bag. Hey, I saw "Urban Cowboy..."
Phoenix - I wouldn't know, it's too damn hot to go outside. Want to steal our water.

I could go on, but why bother? I already know everything I need about other big cities, even if I've never been there before.

Memo to Jerry Green: I'm not an "anonymous blogger." I'm not a "wannabe journalist." You are still irrelevant

The Detroit News' semi-retired crank of a columnist, Jerry Green, is in a contemplative mood today over over something I wrote 6 weeks ago. He vents his aged, liver spotted spleen over yours truly in today's edition. (A tip o' the cap goes to Billfer, who let me know I was in Green's shaky cross hairs.)

He doesn't reference me by name, but calls me an "anonymous blogger," and "a wanna-be journalist" in response to what was literally a throwaway line in one of my ""Above the Fold" link dumps...

While wandering through the Internet a week or so ago, I happened upon a blog by a wanna-be journalist that caught my attention. Or kicked me where it hurt.

The Web site has vaporized in my computer, but the essence of the guy's opinionated statement is imperishable.

"Jerry Green is The News' curmudgeon. He writes only about dead people."

My initial reaction was that the blogger was another of those anonymous fools without sufficient gumption to identify himself and take the heat. Then I realized that the blogger whoever he -- or she -- is had nailed me right on.

Curmudgeon? Guilty as charged.

Writes only about dead people? Frequently.

Actually, I was afraid he was going to yell at me to get off his lawn, and to respect my elders!

Of course, Green paraphrases my quote, and doesn't mention the blog, or my far from anonymous name (Al Beaton, aka Big Al. Admittedly, my pic is obscured by a beer, but that's my normal state). God forbid he link to the offending post. As for calling me a fool? Guilty as charged.

Anyway, the following little jibe is what caused to Jerry contemplate his complete irrelevancy...

The News' resident curmudgeon, Jerry Green does what he does best, write about dead guys. In this case, the dead guy is long ago Wolverines coach Bernie Oosterbaan, whom Green compares to Lloyd Carr.

There is a glorious football coaching lineage at Michigan -- Oosterbaan to Bump Elliott to Bo Schembechler to Gary Moeller to Carr. And presumably onward. All of them class coaches and class men, educators, forgiving the occasional indiscretion.

Lloyd Carr was a protégé of Schembechler. And he fit the mold of Bennie Oosterbaan.

All I have to say is...He uses "Glorious" and "Gary Moeller" in the same sentence?.

At first, I thought Jerry was as angry as an old man that misses the early bird dinner special at Denny's. But as I read further, he instead attempts to give anonymous internet wannabe journalist whippersnappers a baseball history lesson.

The anonymous blogger might be interested to learn that this was called "The Dead Ball Era" by baseball historians.

The Cubbies won the pennant and then the World Series even though they lacked a potent offense. Evers led the team in hitting with a batting average of a flat .300.

Home runs were quite special, even if ESPN would not be around for another 71 years to invent the cliché, "He went yard." And to show the each and every home run, over and over, 10 times. That year, Tinker "Went Yard" on six occasions -- and he led the '08 Cubs in home runs.

History has never told us if Evers shook Tinker's hand after the slugger arrived at home plate -- as it were those two who, according to reports, refused to speak to one another.

Another saga from history a century ago!

He goes on to write about "Three Finger" Brown, and Fred Merkle, as if knowledgeable baseball fans don't know of them, or their famous (In Merkle's case, infamous) accomplishments.

Jerry, I'm not that young, I'm in my 40's. I know a ton of baseball history. I'm a fan who goes way back, who devoured baseball history books growing up. I'm keenly aware of the "Dead ball era." I know that Mordecai Brown was a hall of fame pitcher who had a nasty ass curve thanks to his losing digits as a kid. I know all about "Merkle's Boner." Heh...He said boner. (I'm a blogger, isn't that how I'm supposed to react?)

I just choose not to bore my readers, or more importantly, myself, by writing about Mordecai "Three Finger" Brown. History is well worth knowing, and we are sometimes doomed to repeat it, but living in the past has nothing to do with writing about today's brand of baseball. Fred Merkle would be as confused by today's game as Green is when given a cell phone...

Between you and me, I rarely read Green, mainly due to columns like today's "lesson." He doesn't relate to me, or anyone else who doesn't get a senior's discount, or find Clara Bow hot. He's an old crank, and as I said, he all too often writes "About dead guys." I honestly believe the only reason Green continues to write his column for the News is so he can continue to keep his silly little streak of covering every Super Bowl alive.

For all the other media members that read TWFE, and I know you're out there, let me clue you in. I do not want to be, or have ever claimed to be, a journalist. I have no training, save for English classes that taught me how to put more than 2 words together coherently. My major was business, for chrissakes!

Why would I want to be a "journalist?" So I can hold my nose in the air like your blog hating compatriot, Chris McCosky? So I can get free eats in the press box? So I can stop being a fan of the teams I've grown to love, as journalists claim they have to do? Please.

I know my writing would suffer greatly if I had to censor myself. There's no fun in that, and to me, blogging is all about fun. From what I've seen, you can rarely say that about journalism. If I were a "journalist," I couldn't insult Matt Millen on a daily basis, call the Little Fella the Little Fella, or claim Rob Parker's columns prove the "Worst columnist in America" is functionally retarded. Now that's FUN!

I'm just fine and dandy being a wannabe, a piss ant little blogger.

Jerry, I'm flattered you read TWFE. Just have the courtesy to remember to bookmark blog's URL before your computer magically "vaporizes" it.

Above the Fold - The Game, The Game, The Game

As someone who was lucky enough to come of age during the "10 Year War," forming my allegiance to the Wolverines and the Big 10 in general, along with a sense of utter disgust towards the Buckeyes, tomorrow is one of the biggest days of the year.

A little more than 24 hours from now, Michigan with take on Ohio State in the latest edition of the greatest rivalry in sports. Though tomorrow's matchup will not mean as much as it has in the past in regard to the national title picture (Admittedly, tOSU is still in the hunt to make the BCS title game as a long shot), it's still THE GAME. It'll always be THE GAME. In the Midwest, it's the only game that matters.

Thus, as you might expect, the MSM and Michigan blogosphere is atwitter with excitement...

At the Freep, the Little Fella, unable to control his overwhelming urge to drip his writing with an unbearable amount of sentiment, writes a love letter to Bo Schembechler. Get a room, Mitch...

Hey, Bo. There are still people talking about your funeral. I can't remember as many laughs and tears in the same place. Or as many large necks. Many of your old players are limping now, carrying big bellies, talking about hip replacements, but, man, do they love you. And do they remember every story, every mishap, every temper tantrum. I swear, there are more people on earth doing Bo Schembechler impersonations now than ever. Maybe because you can't hear us.

In fact, today's Freep sports section is a memorial to Bo, reprinting columns by Sharp, Rosenberg, and the Little Fella. Hey, we all miss Bo, but living in the past like this is so...Columbus-like...

Considering there are plenty of plot lines for tomorrow's game, especially regarding the future of Lloyd Carr, the Bo worship seems a bit over the top. I guess the Freep is saving all game preview articles and columns for their Saturday edition.

At the News, Wojo, in his Friday Big 10 pigskin picks column, thankfully stays away from memorializing Bo and actually sticks to his strong point, making jokes at the expense of the "Pickled eggs and moon pie" eating Bucknuts.

That stunner made Ohio State fans everywhere so happy, they loaded up on Appalachian State T-shirts and beer mugs while raucously debating whether Appalachian counted as a state or not. The Ohio State marching band even considered altering its famous routine to spell out script A-p-p-a-l-a-c-h-i-a-n but was told it exceeded the school's recommended daily allowance of syllables.

By the way, Wojo picks Michigan to win, 23-20.

The "Angel of the Big House," Angelique Chengelis, does the burning questions bit. Here's a question regarding CheatyPants McSweaterVest...

Q. Does OSU coach Jim Tressel have Lloyd Carr's number?

A. There is no doubt that since Tressel has been at OSU, everything has changed, and the tide has turned in Ohio State's favor.

The Buckeyes have won five of the last six, including the last three. With the exception of the 2004 game that OSU won 37-21, however, U-M's other four losses have been by an average of 4.5 points.

I know -- it's not about margin of victory, it's about who won.

At Mlive, being the home of the A2 News, it's Michigan mania this week. As the 4 Letter's "College Gameday" pregame show is rolling into town to cover Michigan-tOSU, there's an interview with former Bucknut, and foil to the misunderstood insane genius that is Lee Corso, Kirk Herbstreit. Herbie thinks the rivalry is getting "Out of hand."

It's a rivalry, he says, that has taken a turn for the worse. A showdown once built on mutual respect between coaches Bo Schembechler and Woody Hayes has gotten to be "out of hand."

"You get around the rivalry today and there's a lot of idiots when it comes to the fan bases," Herbstreit said. "It's gotten very nasty. It's gotten very personal."

Hey, Herbie lives in C-Bus, so he should know...

In the blogosphere, it's been a big week, especially for the daily must read MGoBlog, who broke the "Carr will retire" story. In today's "Unverified Voracity" catch-all post, Brian touches on Yahoo's Dan Wetzel column about the Carr retirement timeline, and Les Miles' will he/won't he dance regarding the Michigan job.

The only reason to hire a coach NOW NOW NOW is to keep Michigan's recruiting class together. Recruiting is important, but the difference between hiring someone three or four weeks after the OSU game -- probably about as fast as the process can go -- and eight is like, what, two kids? Three?

If you have a clear #1 coaching candidate (and unless Tedford says yes(!) to Michigan, Miles appears head and shoulders above all other available coaches) a couple of recruits is a piddling price to pay. Besides, if Michigan sits and twiddles its thumbs even after New Year's Day they've functionally named a coach already.

RBUAS eulogizes Lloyd, Hart, Henne, and Long...

Most of us spent the last six years negotiating with the universe to get Lloyd out of here. Only now, with one game left to coach, there is no rejoicing, there’s no relief, nor is there any immense sadness. In our heads, we know it is time for him to walk away. The heir to Bo’s throne is an old man now. But this game has never existed in places of reason; in our chest, none of this feels right.

Tomorrow, it is over for them all, it is over for this era, this dynasty, however plagued by the ability to let us down it might have been. The dynasty that won our hearts and little else, it is over for them.

As usual, MZone has their highly entertaining "Know your foe" Friday post. Obviously today's has everything you ever wanted to know about tOSU, but were afraid to ask...

Mascot – Brutus Buckeye. Brutus was born in 1965 and was the brainchild of Ray Bourhis and the student group Ohio Staters. At that time, most mascots were live animals and Bourhis proposed bringing a buck deer to the games but that proved too logistically difficult. The first Brutus costume weighed over 40 pounds. Through the years Brutus has had a number of face lifts – as well as some lipo evidently. But after the first incarnation, Brutus has appeared to be an angry, often drunk looking mascot.

In closing, I'm going to send you to the The Hoover Street Rag, which has a compilation audio clip of the only outright and unapologetic homer announcer I ever truly enjoyed listening to, the late, great Wolverines play by play man, Bob Ufer. I can never hear the term "Dr. Strangehayes" or his "Bo 'George Patton' Schembechler Scoring Horn" enough...

That's "Above the Fold" for Friday, 11-16-07! Go Blue!

Mitch Albom is skittish around humans? Wikipedia is a wonderful thing

The Little Fella must have royally pissed off someone with a Wikipedia account, as they decided to use their editing privileges liberally. His bio has become quite interesting. I'm guessing it'll be locked down shortly, so I have a screen cap that immortalizes his "Early years." Click on the picture to read about the Little Fella's wonder years...



If you're reading this Mr. Wikipedia editor dude, can you please do Rob Parker next?

Above the Fold - Mashup edition

Today's "Above the Fold" is more of a mashup, so to speak. There's a ton going on in Detroit sports, but not one local story is truly standing out to allow for my normal style of link dump. So I'll touch base as to what the Detroit MSM and bloggers are saying about sports talk radio, the Lions and religion, Marinelli's temper, the Wolverines' Mike Hart, shooting down Pistons rumormongering, slumping Czech goaltenders, and a saber's look at baseball run production.

As a follow up to the big changes that went down last week at sports talk radio WDFN, with the unceremonious dumping of their long running morning show, the News' Joanne Gertsner speaks with the parties involved, and notes even more changes in the M-F lineup. Personally, I was sad to hear that the clueless suits at Cheap Channel put the kibosh on the Jamie & Brady Show FOX 2 webcast...

The trio took their show, with Clear Channel's permission, to FOX 2 last Monday, for a Web-cast version. By all accounts, the show translated well, with listeners calling in to the new format.

Clear Channel changed its mind, pulling out its non-compete clause on the still-under-contract Brady and Samuelsen. So no more Web casts.

Their former morning show slot is now occupied by Rob Otto (6-8 a.m.) and Sean Baligian (8 a.m.-noon). WDFN decided over the weekend not to use syndicated programming for its morning show.

Yep, it's drama, drama, drama.

At the Freep, Drew Sharp puts away his knives, and looks into the relationship between the Lions bible-thumping QB, Jon Kitna, and the talented, trash talking wide receiver, Roy Williams. There was usual fluffing, but there was a passage in the article that really bothered me. (Bold is my emphasis)

The Lions were returning home from a trip. Kitna sat beside Williams on the team bus and asked him why he wasn't "walking with God."

"It was like an SAT question," Williams said.

Williams asked Kitna to change the subject, but the question wouldn't leave Williams' mind. He thought about it more. He maintained an open mind because of his respect for Kitna and how the quarterback has found serenity in the midst of a tempestuous life in the NFL.

You guys already know how I feel about Kitna. Prothletizing does not belong in the locker room. Period. If someone came up to me, and said the same thing Kitna said to Williams, I'd be insulted. With all due respect, I have this "Thing" about religion being thrown in my face. As for Kitna's approach to converting Williams, who's to say Williams isn't already God fearing? But it might be a God Kitna doesn't approve of... I give kudos to Williams to how he handled the situation, and his reply to Sharp.

How has Williams changed?

"I don't cuss in front of my mom," he said. "But once I get (to the locker room), I let them fly."

You have to love Roy, he's no hypocrite...

The Little Fella makes an appearance, as Saturday's BIG GAME in A2 has the sappy one interviewing the biggest trash talker this side of Roy Williams, the Wolverines' Mike Hart. No matter the forum, the Little Fella can't keep the overtly sentimental poofery out of his writing...

And that is precisely why he will be so sorely missed. Coach Lloyd Carr gets almost teary-eyed when you ask him what influence Hart has been in Ann Arbor the past four years. His teammates seem to stand up straighter when they talk about him.

Hart rubs off on people. His energy. His positivism. His confidence. There are guys you hate to play against and there are guys you wish were on your team. And I guarantee you almost every opponent Hart has faced has privately fantasized how much better it would be if Hart switched jerseys.

Lloyd Carr does NOT cry. He just has something in his eye...

At Mlive, the Killer answers emails from his acolytes, the cornbread eating loons in the Mlive Lions forum. Here's his answer to a question regarding the Sarge's temper...

Marinelli is absolutely brutal on these guys behind closed doors. It's not uncommon for him to call out players during a team meeting. Marinelli generally accentuates the positive but his criticisms can be biting, harsh and relentless. And it's not just the players who get it. When Marinelli gets his coaches behind closer doors, he's just as hard on them.

At Detroit Bad Boys, Matt takes the "Kobe was traded to the Pistons" rumor head on, saying the 4 letter wasted everyone's time on what was mostly conjecture.

Considering Bucher’s initial report essentially called Joe Dumars a liar, he has a built-in defense for the front office’s current denials. But still, enough red flags exist for both teams (Detroit’s team would be gutted; the Lakers aren’t getting the big name they’re seeking) for the discerning fan to doubt the rumors validity. Sadly, the rumor still grew long enough legs for me to feel compelled to finally comment, as much as I tried to ignore it.

I hope to Hell that's the last we hear of that silly rumor. Kobe will never play in Detroit. He's the prototype of a NY/Chi/LA kind of player.

The Red Wings have been hot, but Hasek has not. Eno ponders if Dom is done...

Coach Mike Babcock omitted Hasek as one of the guilty parties in last night's come-from-ahead loss (the Wings blew a 2-0 lead). My guess is that such free passes are being handed out now, in deference to all Hasek has done in his career. But they can't go on forever, if Dom continues to battle the puck -- and losing on most occasions.

I hope I'm proven wrong, but I fear that we've seen the last of the great goaltending play from Dominik Hasek.

If Eno's hunch is right, the Wings are in deep shit...

At Tiger Tales, Lee, the leading saber of the Tiger blogosphere, takes a very detailed look at "Team run production in 2007."

BA can be subtracted from SLG to give us isolated power (ISO), a purer measure of slugging ability than SLG. Similarly, BA can be “subtracted” from OBP to give us extra on base percentage (EOBP). Because BA and OBP have different denominators (at bats and plate appearances respectively), it is best not to use the equation OBP-BA. Instead, we subtract hits from times reached based in the numerator and use plate appearances as the denominator. That is, EOBP=(BB+HBP)/PA. So we now have BA, ISO and EOBP. The correlations between these three statistics range from .01 to .45 with the highest correlation between ISO and EOBP. These correlations are much lower that those between BA, OBP and SLG. This is because BA, ISO and EOBP are more independent of one another than BA, OBP and SLG.

Uh, is there going to be a test? Should I be taking notes? Will this be on the final? Oh God, oh God, oh God, I'm not ready for a pop quiz!

Uh, I'm sorry. I had a flashback to a very bad day in high school trig. We kid because we love, and I love your stuff, Lee!

That's the mashup edition of "Above the Fold" for Thursday, 11-15-07!

Journalists vs. Bloggers, round ∞

After watching some of the Bob Costas hosted town hall I had recorded (Hey, I was watching the Red Wings!), and turned off in disgust over the misinformation and clichés being thrown about blogs, bloggers, and their readership, while Will Leitch was being kneecapped by a raving lunatic, a few thoughts came to mind...

1. Mitch Albom, in the sports talk radio segment, was talking about standards and ethics? Please. Albom talking about ethics is comparable to me talking about religion. We really don't have much to do with the other.

This is a columnist who crossed a picket line 7 weeks into a bitter, year and a half long, newspaper strike, but had the gall to call out Ben Wallace for not being loyal over signing a Bulls free agent contract.

This is a columnist who blatantly fabricated a story, yet got nothing more than a slap on the hand by the Free Press. They would never actually can their star columnist for what normally would be a fireable offense to most writers. Yet Albom, the bastion of integrity, deigned to be a moral compass when it came to the University of Michigan hiring a football coach.

Speaking of Michigan, the Little Fella wrote the fabulous fiction masquerading as journalism called "Fab Five." Albom then thought he could make up for what he glossed over in the book by asking Chris Webber to come clean 15 YEARS LATER.

Ethics, smethics.

2. As for Michael Wilbon's going on about bloggers and their lack of credentials, I didn't know you needed any in order to give an opinion. I can't give an educated opinion because I didn't take journalism classes in college? Even though that opinion is coming from someone who watches more games, does more research, and writes more about the subject than the vast majority of columnists ever do.

Just look at the Little Fella's output. Why should I take his point of view seriously when he's not watching every game? Hell, how could he, as Albom's likely spending more time in Hollywood and New York, pumping out short, sappy novels designed to become saccharine screenplays, taking meetings with big media, being one of the "Gasbags" (Wilbon's word, not mine...Though I do agree) on ESPN and going to the bank.

Most of the bloggers I know do watch every game. Because we didn't witness it from the press box, while stuffing our mouth full of hot dogs and donuts from a free buffet, doesn't make our OPINION any less valid.

As for Wilbon's "I want to know where's it coming from" crack, that's easily remedied. Just read the damn blog! You only need to read a few of any blogger's posts to see if they bring a valid point of view. It doesn't take long to figure out if a blogger is capable of putting 2 coherent sentences together, making cogent points and spewing logical, if sometime knee-jerk, opinions. Problem solved. I didn't need to take journalism classes to figure it out...

3. Why all the confusion by the likes of Costas and the angry, crazy old coot, Buzz Bissinger, between a blog's content, and the comments? This isn't the first time I've seen this silly, under researched mistake made by big media. They tend to lump weblogs, weblog comments, message boards, fan websites, and anything else sports related on the internet, together as this evil, job threatening entity known as "Blogs."

The blogosphere is full of so many subsets, with such a massive variety of styles, I'm not surprised the very old media guard only bother to check out the 900 pound gorillas of the blogging world, and conclude every single, solitary blog must be the same. In their cloistered world, "All sports blogs = Deadspin."

If they did the same when writing a story, just skimming the surface, and not delving deeper...Oh, wait...

As for Deadspin, their influence in the blogosphere, and sports in general, is undeniable. Though Leitch and crew often do set the internet agenda, many bloggers, including myself, don't agree with everything they write. The comments section is a pissing match of oneupmanship. They can be awful lowbrow, profane and misogynistic. But you can't deny the site is well written, smart and often damn funny.

Then again, not everyone agrees with everything I write, and I can be as lowbrow, profane and misogynistic as anyone on the web. (Well, not KSK. --Link is EXTREMELY NSFW-- They're in a league of their own) God knows how much traffic Deadspin has sent my way over the past 2+ years, and it's really appreciated. Deadspin has helped many a blogger get noticed. Which is why the attack on Leitch so angered the blogosphere, as it felt as if we were all being attacked. One of our own was under fire, and if there is one thing sports bloggers do well, it's circle the wagons.

4. I'm not scared of the dark. I'm not scared of the boogyman. I'm not scared of monsters living under my bed. I'm scared to death Buzz Bissinger is going to kill me in my sleep. I'm thinking he's bringing Jerry Green with him...

What's even scarier is I'll be easy for the pissed off old loons to find, as I'll be in my mother's basement in my underwear.

5. On the flip side of the MSM vs. sports blogs argument was the absolute pleasure it was appearing on WDET's "Detroit Today," and speaking with host Craig Fahle. We 4 bloggers were treated with respect, and asked pertinent questions, while Craig showed a genuine interest in what we write about and in our opinions. Same goes for dealing with WDFN, who have embraced the Detroit blogosphere, seeing not the enemy, but a valuable resource for promotion and content.

In the end, after all the commotion of the past couple of days, nothing is going to change in the battle between "Journalists" and "Bloggers." The MSM will continue to either deride or ignore the internet revolution, at their peril. We bloggers will continue to rail against the MSM, popping off at any genuine or perceived slight.

This latest controversy will soon blow over. All will be as it was, both groups eying each other warily. Till the next insult is lobbed, and all the righteous indignation will come to the fore again. It's all becoming white noise.

Screw Mitch Albom. Screw him long and hard

In today's Freep, the Little Fella takes Detroit sports fans to task for not filling up the Joe last night.

Before I spend one more word on how good our hockey team played Thursday night, I have to say how bad it looked to see so many empty seats at Joe Louis Arena. Cheaper seats. Expensive seats. Empty clusters. Half-empty rows.

Uh, Mitch. During the playoffs, THERE ARE NO CHEAPER SEATS! Just less overpriced ones...

Remember the Cup? We loved that thing. We felt like we earned it -- every step. So what's the problem now? I know the economy is bad. I'm not telling people to hock the jewelry or find a job.

When you have to use the caveat "I'm not telling you," you actually are telling me...

But we're not talking 100,000 spots here, either. There are enough fans and money in our area to fill those absent clusters. Hey, if we can fill Lions seats, we can fill Red Wings seats.

My response? Fuck you, you heartless, over privileged fuck!

I know, it's not exactly Shakespeare, but "Fuck you" truly encapsulates exactly how I felt after reading Albom's self important tripe.

(By the way, when was the last time Albom was at Ford Field? Otherwise he'd know the expensive club level seating is mostly empty, and the Lions often filled their stadium only in thanks to the fans of the opposition team. You'll see just as many Bears and Packers fans at Ford Field, as fans of the Lions.)

It takes a ton of balls, or what's much more likely, being completely oblivious to the situation the middle class finds itself in here in Michigan, to call out fans for not spending money. What a clueless dumb ass. Just thinking about Albom's faux righteous indignation gets me furious.

I'm guessing Albom, when not churning out Oprah approved pap, spends his time in LA and New York rolling around in large piles of cash. Back here in rust belt reality-land, everyone I know is watching their money. Watching it closely.

I don't know a soul who could afford to drop several hundred dollars to attend a hockey game. Not one. I sure as Hell can't. Neither can anyone in my family, or my friends off or online.

I've used this analogy before, but it remains true. When given a choice between keeping a roof over your head, or buying overpriced Red Wings playoff tickets, there really isn't a choice.

Albom was once tuned into the pulse of Detroit, he knew what made the fans tick. Not anymore. He hasn't for over a decade. Not since Albom became a gasbag ESPN pundit, better known as an author, rather than a sportswriter, and spending most of his time on the left coast.

Otherwise he wouldn't have written this column, calling out hard working folk who are more worried about being foreclosed upon, paying medical bills, buying $4 a gallon gas, food prices rising, if their manufacturing job will even exist 6 months from now, than lining the pockets of a multi-billionaire, Mike Ilitch.

At this point, Albom would be better off sticking to writing saccharine novellas Oprah can turn into TV movies, than being the national voice of the Detroit sports fan. Because he has as much in common with we fans as I do with George W. Bush. That being nothing.

Mitch Albom can go to Hell. Or just stay in LA. Either is better than his remaining the "Voice of Detroit." Speak for whom you really know, the media elite. You sure as fuck don't speak for me.

Edit 4:00 PM: Albom doesn't speak for the Chief over at A2Y, either. IwoCPO went off on the Little Fella too.

Need more proof Detroit's sports columnists blow? Just ask the Associated Press Sports Editors

A tip o' the hat goes to The Big Lead for pointing me in the direction of the Associated Press Sports Editors' writing and section contests. These are awards given to the best newspaper sports sections and sports writers in the country.

You'd think an important media market like Detroit would do well in such a competition. Detroit ranks as the 11th largest market in the US. In an era where 2 competing papers are becoming a rarity around the country, Detroit has 2 dailies with a full compliment of columnists. There's 4 pro teams and 2 Big 10 schools to cover. So wouldn't you expect Detroit based columnists to win some writing awards?

Yet when judged by their peers, not a single columnist from the Free Press or News received a mention. Most notably missing was the Little Fella, the Freep's star columnist, who used to win sports writing awards like so many Cracker Jacks prizes. It's to be expected when your column takes a backseat to TV appearances, a radio show, screen writing, and sappy fiction.

This is a city with a rich heritage in sports columnists, going back to Joe Falls in the 60's and 70's, and Mike Downey in the 80's, to the Little Fella, when he used to give a shit about sports (He lost his fastball a decade ago). It's a shame we are now stuck with columnists churning out some of the lamest, knee-jerk, reactionary, ill-conceived, under researched, contrary for the sake of being contrary columns you'd never want to read.

Look at some of the out and out crap we've seen spewed by the fishwrap's best and brightest recently. The was Drew Sharp's hack job on the Red Wings' Ken Holland, and his hilariously writing 2 polar opposite opinions over Michigan's recruitment of Terrelle Pryor within a 2 week period. Jerry "Tough Tomatoes" Green cluelessly defending the indefensible Matt Millen, and his clumsily calling your humble blogger out over a perceived, yet truthful, slight. Don't forget Lynn Henning's embarrassing public whining over Brandon Inge not returning his phone calls. Then there's the worst offender of all. I can't forget to mention the entire output of Rob Parker, the consensus worst columnist in America.

I'm just scratching the surface here, but our local columnists have been on a roll when it comes to churning out tripe.

There's only 2 columnists in Detroit worth reading, Michael Rosenberg of the Freep and the News' Bob Wojnowski. But their output is far from being consistently good. Rosenberg too often goes for the funny (with varying degrees of success) than giving any actual opinion or analysis, and Wojo is so wrapped up in playing the dumb guy in his radio career, that his News column suffers for it.

According to the AP sports editors, there are is some quality coverage going on at out local fishwraps, it's just not coming from the columnists.

Even though the "stars" were ignored at award time, the Freep and News did have some winners, thanks to their reporters. Jon Paul Morosi, who's been often praised by TWFE, was one of the winners in the "Game story" category. Jo-Ann Barnas, Shawn Windsor and Mark Snyder won in the "Breaking news" category.

The Freep received an honorable mention in the 250K circulation category for their Sunday sports section, and a Top 10 in "Special," whatever that may be. The News won for their daily sports section in the 100K - 250K circulation category, and an honorable mention in "special." (I had no idea their circulation had dropped to that level)

The fact local reporters were honored for their grunt work, along with the sports sections as a whole, makes the columnists being snubbed all the more glaring.

Then again, news of our local columnists being shut out by the APSE shouldn't be surprising when outright hacks like Rob Parker and Drew Sharp, and washed up used-to-be's like Jerry Green, are gainfully employed by our local fishwraps.

I'll take "Full Metal Jacket analogies" for $200, Alex*

Personally, I'm exhausted from just reading the overwhelming amount of commentary written about Rod Marinelli. But the local columnists won't let up. It's Marinelli overload, day 2.

Warning: Extremely salty NSFW language ahead.

Lets start with the Freep.

In a stunning turn of events, the Little Fella writes another sports-centric column. That's his third since Sunday! I think that's more than he wrote in the previous 6 months. Frodo gives us a history lesson.

In my time covering this team, I have seen Darryl Rogers, Wayne Fontes, Bobby Ross, Gary Moeller, Marty Mornhinweg and Steve Mariucci all address the media to start their tenures. None of them did it as unflinchingly as Marinelli. None.

Rogers was flimflammy. Fontes was a clown. Ross barked. Moeller never knew his status. Mornhinweg -- well, he was a lost cause from his opening statements. And Mariucci was easygoing and cerebral.

WHAT THE!? He dissed Wayne? Now I'm pissed. But I digress... Yes Mitch, we all remember he Lions "Murderers Row" of coaches. So now comes the comparison to Marinelli.

Marinelli, in his crisp black suit, white shirt and blue tie, reminded me of Ed Harris playing John Glenn in "The Right Stuff." There was a glint in his eye, and his mouth curled often into a sly smile. He's 56. He has waited a long time. He's a Vietnam vet. And I know this much. I would not want to take on his troops in any war games.

I think Mitch puts the positive spin on the presser due to the fact that Marinelli scares the living shit out of him. In movie terms, Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, meet Pvt. Gomer Pyle. I can picture this exchange...

Rod Marinelli: How tall are you, private?
Little Fella: Sir, five-foot-nine, sir.
Rod Marinelli: Five-foot-nine? I didn't know they stacked shit that high!

Michael Rosenberg finally chimes in on the new "M & M Boys." He goes for the "Marenilli will be kicking ass and taking names / Millen is a bonehead" angle.

A month ago, none of us thought the Lions would hire Rod Marinelli. But you had to figure it would be somebody like Rod Marinelli: a guy who eats live alligators for breakfast. Marinelli majored in Fire and minored in Brimstone. He sounds like a Matt Millen kind of guy. (Scramble the letters of his name and you get "I adorr Millen," which Matt would tell you is the proper spelling.)

I'll admit that "I adorr Millen" cracked me up. Rosenberg has his moments.

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, meet Pvt. Joker...

Rod Marinelli: Private Rosenberg, why did you join the Freep?
Michael Rosenberg: Sir, to write, sir!
Rod Marinelli: So you're a writer!?
Michael Rosenberg: Sir, yes sir!
Rod Marinelli: Then let me see your writer face!
Michael Rosenberg: Sir?
Rod Marinelli: You got a writer face? ARRRRRRRRRGH! That's a writer face, let me see your writer face!
Michael Rosenberg: Ahhhh!
Rod Marinelli: Bullshit, you didn't convince me, let me see your REAL writer face!
Michael Rosenberg: AHHHHH!
Rod Marinelli: You still don't scare me! Work on it!
Michael Rosenberg: Sir, yes sir!

Over at the News, unfortunately the only Lion opinion piece is from the "Functionally retarded" (Kudos and credit for that crack go to Briandtw of The Sports Frog) Wobb Parker. What a piece of absolute drivel. He begins with the drill sergeant comparison.

"Morning men" is how he addressed the media. He answered questions by looking directly at the reporters who asked them. His voice was firm. It never wavered. That was all good. So he gets a few style points.

What was missing, however, was Marinelli's answering any tough questions. Considering he is being billed as a disciplinarian, it had to be disappointing for fans to hear him tackle nothing of substance.

Wait a second. Tough questions? First off, who's asking the questions? Shouldn't you be pointing fingers at yourself, as one of the ink stained wretches who was asking said questions? He stumbles on...

Time after time, Marinelli, a first-time head coach at age 56, wouldn't allow himself to be pinned down on anything fans really wanted to know.

Will the Lions make the playoffs next season? Marinelli, or so it seemed, started reciting "War and Peace" out loud.

"That's a great question," he said. "Like I stated earlier, it's a show-me game.

"I'm tired of talking. I think there's too much talk. Too much, 'Hey, this is me; this is what I'm going to do.' I don't believe in that. It's a show-me game."

What? He never answered the question when it was asked two other times.

Please, how clueless does Wobb think we are? As Ian of Sweaty Men Endeavors (Who first nailed the R. Lee Ermey angle, by the way) mentioned in comments to my last Marinelli post, what more do you expect at an introductory press confrence? He's not going to go into any kind of detail, it's more of a "This is who I am and this is my philosophy" presser. You actually think he's going to give his true opinions about Joey Blue Skies, the Lions past futility, or his offensive/defensive plans? That's not going to happen in a public forum, and Wobb knows that for a fact. But he won't stop the madness...

It would have been great for Marinelli to say about the playoffs: "Of course, we are going to make the playoffs next season. There's enough talent here to get that done. We just have to get some things straightened out. And if we don't make the playoffs in the next season or two, I won't be here. You guys will be right back here with a new coach."

Come on. Marinelli saying they would make the playoffs next year? He's not stupid. If Marinelli had said as such, the press would be throwing that prediction back in his face at the first available opportunity. Still, Parker continues to flail blindly...

On Harrington: "We need another quarterback. Joey is done in Motown."

Guess being frank hurts.

So what Marinelli basically said was: Don't hold me to any timetable about making the postseason. I don't want to put a number on it and add any extra pressure.

How sad.

And he was telling fans that he's in the dark about Harrington, too. That he doesn't have a clue on whether the guy can play or win in this town.

Did I read that correctly? Wobb thinks Marinelli is in the dark about Joey? We know that can't be true. Marinelli had to game plan against him, and Millen must have asked his thoughts during the interview process, you think? Yet Wobb writes he should burn his bridges with Joey before they have another starting QB under contract? That would be smart thinking, piss off your only experienced QB (I know how we all feel about Harrington, but there's no one else on the roster at this point) during your first day on the job. This just in, Wobb isn't just functionally retarded, he's certifiable!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, meet Pvt. Cowboy.

Rod Marinelli: Who said that? Who the fuck said that? Who's the slimy little communist shit, twinkle-toed cocksucker down here who just signed his own death warrant? Nobody, huh? The fairy fucking godmother said it. Out-fucking-standing. I will PT you all until you fucking die. I'll PT you until your assholes are sucking buttermilk.
[Rod Marinelli grabs Wobb Parker by the shirt]
Rod Marinelli: Was it you, you scroungy little fuck, huh?
Wobb Parker: Sir, no Sir!
Rod Marinelli : You little piece of shit! You look like a fucking worm, I bet it was you!

I cannot wait for the first confrontational presser after a bad loss. Just the thought of a Bobby Ross / Jim Mora style meltdown brings a smile to my face.

Oustanding!

*Apologies to Stanley Kubrick for bastardizing his wonderful dialog.