If I'm pissing off the (really) old guard, I must be doing something right

Back in early January, I wrote a piece about the Detroit News columnist Jerry Green, who had mentioned TWFE in his column (My saying "he only writes about dead people"), but didn't attribute where it came from.

As is my wont, I wrote several hundred words worth of old people jokes, while reminding the MSM in general the last thing I'd ever call myself is a journalist. I'm not fair and balanced, I'm entirely biased and partial. I'm just a fan of Detroit sports who happens to have bully pulpit, and willing to use it to call out the local MSM.

Well, 3 whole months months later, while doing a Google search, Jerry found my post. He wasn't at all happy, and decided to let me know of his displeasure. His reply arrived via email over the weekend. How do I know it was from him? It was from a personal AOL email address, and we all know AOL is the refuge of the computer illiterate, and the aged.

When I told my best friend about Jerry's pissy message, he said, "You gotta blog about it!" So I am...

Here's what Jerry had to say about my post...

I just read your memo to me, Big Al. I gave you too much credit for wanting to be a journalist. Sorry about that.

And I had to read the entire memo to learn that you did have a last night, just like the rest of us.

If you had the guts of a Drew Sharp or a Jay Mariotti, you'd top your blog with your full name.

I congratulate you for being over 40. Were you talking asge or IQ?

It is true that I am a senior. And it is true that I am technically retired. It also is true that The News kept me on to write once a week on line and that I am a curmudgeon and I write about a lot of dead people.
That is known as history.

I'm thrilled to be told that you actually do read books -- or at least that somebody reads them to you.

Oh, and some more truthes -- Millen was not the first to screw up the Lions. Fontes was not the first lousy coach that the Lions had (although he did manage to reach the playoffs and even win one). The Lions have been screwed up ever since Russ Thomas became their general manager -- and I pretty much made a career out of criticizing Russ Thomas.
Then the grandpas of today's bloggers called me negative.
It so happens that I was a curmudegon then, too.
But at least I had the guts to put my whole name on top of the articles.


Last truth: I have actually looked at TWFE twice now, both times when I checked Google.

And thanks for letting me know that Denny's has an early bird special. I presume that is a dining adventure for you.

Feel free to respond to this email.

J F G

As you can see, Jerry's not all that happy with me, essentially calling me a cowardly moron who thinks Denny's is the be all, end all. (I'll admit "Moons over my Hammy" is a delicacy!)

In response to the rest of the vitriolic message, if it made Jerry feel a little better venting his spleen, giving me a dose of my own medicine, I'm cool with that. He has every right. Being called out comes with the territory. Hell, I've been called an idiot several times over by readers of TWFE. If write something stupid, you all are the first to let me know, as I should be.

I did have to laugh when Drew Sharp and Jay Mariotti are described as "courageous." I'm thrilled I'm nowhere near as "courageous" as those two. I'd never be able to live with myself if I wrote outrageous tripe only designed to piss readers off with contrarian opinion. God forbid I ever become like them.

It's a silly comparison anyway, as it's well known that Mariotti never goes into locker rooms. He rarely, if ever, faces the people he bashes in his columns. (As much as I don't care for his columns, to Sharp's credit, he's no Mariotti, facing those he rips) To be fair, I don't either, but it's not in the blogger job description. On the flip, I'm easy enough to find. Jerry managed to do so.

As for putting my full name on the TWFE masthead, so to speak? I'll admit, he has a point. I'm quite aware it's long been a bone of contention in regard to bloggers, as seen by the recent coming out by the no longer anonymous writers of Fire Joe Morgan and The Big Lead.

Unlike those great blogs, I've never been cloaked in anonymity. I've mentioned my full name in past TWFE posts, it's in all my email correspondence and posted on my other blog, SideLion Report. Anyway, my last name is now in the "Who's behind the scenes" area of TWFE. I hope that makes everyone happy.

As for Jerry listing off his credentials as a muck raker who ticked off our grandfathers? No wonder my grandfather Pippi was so cranky! And I always thought it was me and my long hair. I'm glad we cleared that up...

I've never claimed I was a heroic brain surgeon or even a crusading journalist. Far from it. I'm just a smart ass who answers to no one other than the readers of my blogs. I'm not constrained by editors, deadlines, language restrictions or even good taste. I couldn't write any other way.

I figure I must be doing something right if dedicated bloggers like myself are pissing off the old guard journalists and columnists. It's a brave new world, the old guard best get used to it.

Above the fold - Columnists say the darnedest things

It being Friday, it's once again time to see what bon mots and uninformed opinion the supposed best and brightest in the newspaper world, our local sports columnists, spew in print and on their websites. Buckle up, as it's usually a bumpy ride.

At the Detroit News, lead columnist Bob Wojnowski writes about the Tigers, and wonder of wonders, his column is NOT about Brandon Inge! (Though he can't help himself, and does mention the pouty super-sub) Instead, Wojo puts together a list for us, the 5 Tigers who must, in his mind, be at their best for the Tigers to win in 2008.

His picks?

No. 5: Kenny Rogers
No. 4: Pudge Rodriguez
No. 3: Gary Sheffield
No. 2: Jeremy Bonderman

A drum roll please....THE MOST IMPORTANT TIGER IS...

No. 1: Todd Jones

Why does Wojo believe the smoke and mirrors closer from Hell, the batting practice fastball throwing Roller Coaster, Todd Jones, has to the "Most Important Tiger?"

Dave Dombrowski surely will make a move to restock the bullpen because there's no way he can let another promising season get wrecked by relievers. Jones is the only reliable guy, which makes him the one the Tigers need most. He had 38 saves last season (six blown chances), understands the pressure and almost always works his way out of mini-slumps.

Is he dominant? Nope. Is he far more effective than many acknowledge? Yep.

Is he important? Yep. The MOST important? Nope. Not even close.

I think Kenny Rogers and Jeremy Bonderman are an interchangeable 1 and 2. For that matter, the most important reliever isn't even Jones. It's Fernando Rodney. Let's make him number 3.

Closers are overrated. Saves are even more overrated. Closers normally enter with a lead, often with a multi-run cushion, with no one on base, and only need to pitch one inning. Set up men, on the other hand, more often than not, enter with runners on base, pitch more than one inning, have to quell rallies when often a stikeout is needed, and the game is still in the balance.

Ask yourself this...Could you ever see Jones pitching in the high leverage situations Rodney (or Joel Zumaya, when healthy) finds himself in. If you thought his closing was scary... But Jones as a set up man? I wouldn't last the season. I'd blow a mental gasket after his first few appearances.

When analysts talk about the Tigers' possible Achilles heel, they don't bring up Jones. It's the starting pitching. The lack of quality pitching depth in the organization means the Tigers absolutely need The Gambler and Bonderman to pitch to expectations. For that matter, let's make 4 and 5 Dontrelle Willis and Nate Robertson. The starting pitching is that important.

To put it bluntly, Wojo is full of shit.

For another, better, take on who are the "Most Important Tigers," check out Kurt's list at Mack Avenue Tigers. He doesn't agree with Wojo, either.

In the Friday catch all column "Behind the Scenes," Mike O'Hara brings up the former Lion, the round mound of Cleveland town (I know, that rhyme sucked), Biggest Baby Shaun Rogers. O'Hara compares chub's weight to the price of gold...

Rogers' new deal pays him $42 million over six years.

At the time of the deal, gold was selling for $991.50 an ounce. A 370-pound slab of gold is worth $5,869,680.

In my mind, over the last 8 games of the Lions' 2007 season, Rogers wasn't worth the price of the paper used to print a counterfeit $1 bill. He was more invisible than Jeremy Bonderman's change up. To think the Browns signed him to such a monster contract extension is the definition of insanity.

Is Rogers a good player? Yes, when he wants to be. Believe me, Rogers won't want to be, $42 million contract or not. Now if Bigger Baby was being paid in candy bars, pies, cakes and donuts? Well, that's different. Rogers would be a All-Pro...

At the Freep, Michael Rosenberg wrote about Kenyan distance runners who have taken refuge from persecution in Ann Arbor. It was a good, well written column covering an important subject we truly needed to learn more about. In fact, it was quite disturbing reading about the Hell those runners go through back home.

Well, then. I can't make fun of that, wouldn't be right. I'd be a bigger ass than I already am.

Let's move on...

The closest thing to a column at the Freep touching on Detroit sports was WDFN's Jamie Samuelson's blog post. It's about...Brandon Inge! Yes! That's something I can pick apart!

Jamie asks himself the following question..,

Jim Leyland recently said that he knows Brandon Inge doesn’t want to catch. Does any part of the Inge situation seem weird?

The answer? Yes.

Well, there was more to it...

Is this Inge’s fault or the fault of an overzealous media who seem to genuinely like him? I’m not sure. Inge would be well advised to either keep his mouth shut or just say the right thing. He’s not helping himself out. And the media would be well served by just moving on to the next story. I’d much rather read daily updates on the health of Joel Zumaya or Fernando Rodney than anything else on Inge. When he’s traded, call me. Other than that, please, can we stop obsessing about a role player?

I have to say I agree. In fact, the entire Tigers blogosphere agrees. Actually, damn near every Tigers fan agrees. Everyone who gives a shit about the Tigers agrees!

The only people who don't agree are the Tiger beat writers. They apparently find Inge fascinating beyond belief, hang on his every word, then print every pouty word in the next day's fishwrap. Enough already. Please?

I'd be just fine if we didn't hear anything more from "Mr. I Didn't Mean What I Said, It Was Taken Out Of Context" till opening day, or when he's traded, whatever comes first.

That's "Above the Fold" for Friday, 3-7-08!

Need more proof Detroit's sports columnists blow? Just ask the Associated Press Sports Editors

A tip o' the hat goes to The Big Lead for pointing me in the direction of the Associated Press Sports Editors' writing and section contests. These are awards given to the best newspaper sports sections and sports writers in the country.

You'd think an important media market like Detroit would do well in such a competition. Detroit ranks as the 11th largest market in the US. In an era where 2 competing papers are becoming a rarity around the country, Detroit has 2 dailies with a full compliment of columnists. There's 4 pro teams and 2 Big 10 schools to cover. So wouldn't you expect Detroit based columnists to win some writing awards?

Yet when judged by their peers, not a single columnist from the Free Press or News received a mention. Most notably missing was the Little Fella, the Freep's star columnist, who used to win sports writing awards like so many Cracker Jacks prizes. It's to be expected when your column takes a backseat to TV appearances, a radio show, screen writing, and sappy fiction.

This is a city with a rich heritage in sports columnists, going back to Joe Falls in the 60's and 70's, and Mike Downey in the 80's, to the Little Fella, when he used to give a shit about sports (He lost his fastball a decade ago). It's a shame we are now stuck with columnists churning out some of the lamest, knee-jerk, reactionary, ill-conceived, under researched, contrary for the sake of being contrary columns you'd never want to read.

Look at some of the out and out crap we've seen spewed by the fishwrap's best and brightest recently. The was Drew Sharp's hack job on the Red Wings' Ken Holland, and his hilariously writing 2 polar opposite opinions over Michigan's recruitment of Terrelle Pryor within a 2 week period. Jerry "Tough Tomatoes" Green cluelessly defending the indefensible Matt Millen, and his clumsily calling your humble blogger out over a perceived, yet truthful, slight. Don't forget Lynn Henning's embarrassing public whining over Brandon Inge not returning his phone calls. Then there's the worst offender of all. I can't forget to mention the entire output of Rob Parker, the consensus worst columnist in America.

I'm just scratching the surface here, but our local columnists have been on a roll when it comes to churning out tripe.

There's only 2 columnists in Detroit worth reading, Michael Rosenberg of the Freep and the News' Bob Wojnowski. But their output is far from being consistently good. Rosenberg too often goes for the funny (with varying degrees of success) than giving any actual opinion or analysis, and Wojo is so wrapped up in playing the dumb guy in his radio career, that his News column suffers for it.

According to the AP sports editors, there are is some quality coverage going on at out local fishwraps, it's just not coming from the columnists.

Even though the "stars" were ignored at award time, the Freep and News did have some winners, thanks to their reporters. Jon Paul Morosi, who's been often praised by TWFE, was one of the winners in the "Game story" category. Jo-Ann Barnas, Shawn Windsor and Mark Snyder won in the "Breaking news" category.

The Freep received an honorable mention in the 250K circulation category for their Sunday sports section, and a Top 10 in "Special," whatever that may be. The News won for their daily sports section in the 100K - 250K circulation category, and an honorable mention in "special." (I had no idea their circulation had dropped to that level)

The fact local reporters were honored for their grunt work, along with the sports sections as a whole, makes the columnists being snubbed all the more glaring.

Then again, news of our local columnists being shut out by the APSE shouldn't be surprising when outright hacks like Rob Parker and Drew Sharp, and washed up used-to-be's like Jerry Green, are gainfully employed by our local fishwraps.

Above the fold - Columnists say the darnedest things

It's Friday, and you know what that means?

It's the end of the week? Well, DUH. But that's not the answer I was looking for, people. Lost is on? Uh, that was last night, dude. You missed a kick ass episode. The latest Matthew McConaughey flick hits the the theaters? Who the Hell cares? The last flick of the naked bongo player's I enjoyed was "Dazed and Confused." He's never been better than playing Wooderson...

"All right, all right, all right."

"That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age."

"Let me tell you this, the older you do get the more rules they're gonna try to get you to follow. You just gotta keep livin' man, L-I-V-I-N."

That's DEEP stuff, man... But I digress.

It's Friday, which means we take a tour of the local fishwraps, and see what Detroit's best and brightest asinine and clueless columnists have to say.

Let's start at the News, so we can get it over with. "It" being the latest tripe spewed from the worst columnist in America. The functionally retarded Rob Parker, who makes the mentally challenged Skip Bayless look like a MENSA member during their painful exchanges on the 4 Letter, writes about the most pressing issue in Detroit sports today!

Say goodbye to Swin Cash.

Cash, a Detroit Shock forward for six seasons, will be traded within the next two weeks.

OH MY GOD! I can't believe it! This news is horrib...Uh, wait a second. This column is about who? Swin Cash? Of that basketball team that is deep in their off season? The team no one watches or cares about? In that league the NBA tries to force feed down our throats every summer?

The trade is inevitable because of a feud between Cash and Shock coach Bill Laimbeer. The two just didn't see eye-to-eye the last couple of seasons.

I guess it is. Well then. No one gives a shit, Parker. Literally no one. Even you should know that...

Now, Cash will play elsewhere.

And Parker should write elsewhere. Anywhere. Actually, nowhere would be best for all concerned. Let's wash our hands of this waste of newsprint, and quickly move on.

It appears Lynn Henning has gotten over his Brandon Inge hissy fit of a couple of weeks ago, as he chimes in today with a column about Inge, and where he would be best used. Unfortunately, Henning rehashes ideas that the Tigers blogosphere brought up...2 weeks ago.

The Tigers will want Inge to return as their starting catcher, given that Pudge Rodriguez is almost certainly into his final season in Detroit. Inge will continue to want to play third base -- here, anywhere.

Will there be a market for him? Probably not, unless Inge hits up a storm in 2008 as a super-sub, which figures to be his role.

Sure as shit, this is old news.

After telling us nothing new about Inge, Henning also conjures up numbers for a possible Miguel Cabrera long-term contract.

The thought advanced here is that they will probably talk about a deal somewhere in the vicinity of five years for $100 million or six years for $125 million. They will argue, as they did successfully in the case of Curtis Granderson and his renewal, that free agency can still be an option for Cabrera at a young age, say 30 or 31.

Nothing ground shaking here either. For quite some time it's been damn obvious any Cabrera deal is going to start in the $20 million per season range. Henning is just wasting our time...Again.

In the Freep, Michael Rosenberg delves into a subject few have been talking about...Rich Rodriguez and Terrelle Pryor. At least Rosenberg is honest about the
Pryor fatigue we are all feeling...

As Terrelle Pryor waits to --

No! PLEASE tell me you're not writing about Terrelle Pryor! If I read one more word about this kid I'm going to de-commit from the planet.

If he doesn't move on from this over-covered subject, I'm de-committing from this column!

Anyway, this is not about West Virginia v. Rodriguez.

Thank fucking GOD!

This is about a theory that many of the e-mailers espouse: the Pat White Theory.

OK, I'm still reading...

I find the Pat White Theory interesting for two reasons. First of all, I don't buy the conclusion. It's one thing to rip a coach for losing with a great player, quite another to rip him for winning with a great player.

This reminds me of the people who say Lloyd Carr never would have won the national championship without Charles Woodson. So what? He had him.

Actually, I think many feel that Michigan, and Woodson, won the national title in spite of Lloyd's unimaginative coaching. But that's not what this column is about...Let's see where Rosenberg is going, shall we?

Rodriguez seems smart enough to adapt if he doesn't get Pryor. As he says, he likes to win too much to not adapt. If Rodriguez does not land Terrelle Pryor, he can plug in one of his other quarterbacks, or maybe shift running back Carlos Brown to quarterback, and have some success.

But to produce the kind of offense he wants, the kind Michigan hired him for, Rodriguez needs that special athlete at quarterback. Rich Rodriguez doesn't need Pat White. He needs the next Pat White.

That would be nice, but unless lightening strikes with Pryor, Michigan is not getting their system QB this year. What Rosenberg forgets to mention is Rodriguez has run a version of the spread with a QB who wasn't near as mobile as White. Shaun King threw for a ton of yards at Tulane while RichRod was the offensive coordinator.

Rather than the run first WVU offense, I'm guessing we'll see some sort of hybrid spread, alternating dropback QB Steven Threat and whatever run first QB stands out, much in the way Urban Meyer did with Chris Leak and Tim Tebow in his first season at Florida.

At this point, I don't really care. I'm just praying for Pryor to just make his damn decision already, so we can all move on!

In a column I won't pick apart or make fun of, The Oakland Press' Pat Caputo touches on the sad, pitiful tale of former Tiger broadcaster Lary Sorneson. He doesn't say much of his recent arrest, getting popped for his 7th DUI, while blowing a .48 BAC (They're both jaw dropping numbers). Instead, Caputo writes of past experiences with Sorenson while both were covering the Tigers. He doesn't pillory him, or cast blame, he just feels sorry for Sorenson's sickness and nearly hopeless situation.

Look at this guy. A former major league player. Had a much-coveted broadcasting job. By all accounts, his family life was good - except for his drinking. And now he's left with nothing but press clippings of shame.

I know there are people who don't - and won't - feel sorry for Lary. I don't blame them. Many people - way too many - have lost loved ones because of drunken drivers. It's one of the great curses on society.

What else is there to say? Sorenson needs to be kept off the roads, as it's clear he's a vehicular homicide waiting to happen. Honestly, I'm surprised he hasn't killed someone, or been killed. Considering he's a habitual offender, do you lock him up, and throw away the key? Or do you try to get him the help he so desperately needs, as he's not a menace when sober. Sorenson needs the sort of treatment he probably won't get in a state prison. That's for the courts to decide.

It's an awful, ugly, sorry story all the way around. A story I doubt will have a happy ending.

That's "Above the Fold" for Friday, 2-8-08!

Why fans are fed up with the MSM: Brandon Inge edition

Over the past week, MSM writers David Mayo and Lynn Henning bitterly called out Brandon Inge for his total silence since the news of his trade demand broke. They both wrote whiny, bitchy, pissy little columns complaining that Inge wouldn't speak to the media at a Grand Rapids "FAN" meet and greet. The obvious word being "FAN" and not "MEDIA."

For example, Henning writes in the Detroit News...

Just to put some ongoing discourtesy in clearer perspective, Inge has been on the receiving end of more than a dozen calls -- personally made to his cell, to his home, and elsewhere -- since October, many weeks before the Cabrera trade displaced him from his job as starting third baseman.

When he never heard from Inge, rather than back off, he became even more aggressive...

After the Cabrera trade left him in limbo, leading to a more aggressive flurry of calls

Oh, the fucking humanity, Inge just wouldn't return his calls! The guy is as intrusive as a bill collector or a telemarketer, though with less personality. I bet Henning calls at dinner time as well...

In the middle of his fine whine, Henning actually answers his own question as to why Inge won't call him back.

If Inge believes the situation is sensitive and he prefers not to talk, then fine, that's his prerogative.

Oh, you know why Inge isn't talking? So why waste my time, and yours, by killing several trees worth of newsprint with what is essentially a hissy fit?

TWFE has exclusive shots of Henning...

And of Mayo after being snubbed by Brandon Inge...

Mayo's bitch fest in the Grand Rapids Press was just as pitiful as Henning's...

In lieu of a players-only room in the clubhouse to hide in, which is Inge's usual trick, he orchestrated Friday's media boycott long before his arrival. The Griffins, citing information gained from Inge's agent, sent out an e-mail informing media the player would not grant interviews.

So you knew Inge's appearance was "FANS ONLY" well ahead of time, yet you decided to, for lack of a better word, ambush Inge anyway? Why on earth would you expect him to talk?

Mayo then calls out Inge for his 2007 performance, implying that Inge wasn't very talkative during the regular season, either...

We've seen this lack of accountability before. It was on full display during Inge's ridiculously bad second half last season, when he hit three home runs after June 12.

A few things to keep in mind. One, what does Inge's 2007 season have to do with his not talking now? Other than it being one of the reasons the Tigers made the Cabrera trade, nothing.

Two, that Inge was supposedly uncooperative is news to anyone that follows the Tigers. I've never read or heard any of the beat writers complaining about a lack of cooperation from Inge.

Three, the MSM bitches about bloggers calling out players and journalists with no accountability. When Mayo calls Inge "ridiculously bad," we see a columnist, whom I'm guessing rarely, if ever, covers the Tigers in person, just do what bloggers are accused of doing. Mayo comes off as having an ax to grind, and he sure as Hell furiously grinds away...

Are the fans curious as to why Inge wants a trade? Of course. Is it there a divine right that we need to know why? Not that I know of. I'm not saying that Inge is totally in the right. Dealing with the media is a big part of his VERY well paid job. Inge could have made everyone's life a little easier if he had called the reporters back after the 50th call. Even the 100th.

Still, I have to ask...Are we living in Nazi Germany? (First time I've ever invoked Godwin's Law in a post!) Communist Russia? I took a quick look around, even went outside, and far as I can tell, the Cold War is over, we won, and this still the U.S.A. Free speech include having the freedom not to speak. Inge doesn't have to talk if he doesn't want to. In fact, it damn obvious he doesn't. Period.

Spring training is in 3 weeks. If Inge isn't traded, and it's looking more and more like he won't be, I'm positive that the subject of the trade demand will be brought up almost immediately by the Tigers, and Inge will finally talk. Praise be, and thank fucking God, Inge will finally have to answer Henning's and Mayo's questions.

And we won't have to read any more self-serving, whiny tripe from writers that should know better.