The worst columnist in America has the cure to what ails the Pistons...Chris Webber?

As I sat down at my balky PC this morning (my wireless keyboard hates me), I had an email from a friend of TWFE alerting me to the latest Rob Parker column. That person was wondering "What was he thinking?"

Honestly, I have the same thought after EVERY Parker column. But his missive in today's News is Parker at his worst.

Today, the functionally retarded one carries the torch for Chris Webber returning to the Pistons.

If the Pistons can get a deal done -- and that would take clearing a roster spot -- Webber will be a welcome addition to the team, just as he was around this time a year ago.

It's interesting to note that Parker has no quotes from the Pistons, or from Webber. Where's he getting this info? Is it all just conjecture? All we've heard is that the Pistons have said the roster is currently full.

That's why I have to wonder if Joe Dumars himself gave this story to Parker to run out there as a trial balloon, to see how the idea of C-Webb returning flies with both the public and MSM at large. If you ask me, it's going to go over as well as Parker's clueless 2006 column undeservedly and gleefuly trashing Tigers' GM Dave Dombrowski. In other words, not well at all.

Parker continues with a little revisionist history...

Granted, things didn't work out fully because the Pistons failed to advance to the NBA Finals, losing instead to the Cavaliers in the Eastern Conference finals.

But in no way was it solely Webber's fault. Things just came apart at the end and the Pistons didn't get the guard play they needed. That shouldn't make anyone worry for a minute that Webber can't help this team.

"Just came apart?" If you want to call totally imploding "just coming apart," them I might agree. Yes, Rip Hamilton, and especially Chauncey Billups played well below their capabilities. But Parker makes it sound as if the Pistons just had a bad couple of games, rather than a complete and utter collapse. It wasn't the bump in the road Parker's wording makes it out to be, as the Pistons were outright embarrassed by the Cavs.

The Cavs being blown out by the Spurs in the NBA Finals made losing the series even more painful for the Pistons, and their fans. There was NO WAY IN HELL Detroit should have lost to what was essentially a one man team. Yet, the Pistons somehow managed to do the impossible, lose the conference finals to one man surrounded by 11 balls of suck.

Parker continues with his blathering...

They aren't looking for Webber to be a savior -- which is great because he isn't one any longer. Still, Webber has something to offer, especially off the bench.

Webber, who will be 35 in March, is a perfect post player to run your offense through. He's an excellent passer. Normally, when he delivers the ball, Webber provides an easier look at the basket for a teammate.

Sure, C-Webb may be 35 in March. If I can use my public schooling math skills correctly, that means Webber is 34 years old. A very creaky 34 years old. You might as well age Webber's knees in dog years.

Despite Parker's careful wording regarding Webber's age, you can't hide the fact he has been in in the association for 14 seasons. That's a ton of wear and tear, and as we saw last year, it's showing on Webber. He was literally dragging himself, and his creaky knees, up and down the court at the end of the season.

Parker also conveniently ignores Webber's matador style defense. With those knees, with his lack of lateral mobility, Webber couldn't cover me, and I'm a middle aged, arthritic pylon.

Is Webber still a slick low past passer? Damn straight. Is what he brings to the Pistons key for their success? No, as they go as Billups and Rasheed Wallace go. Period.

You can see Webber playing 12-15 minutes a night. Best of all, coach Flip Saunders can see quickly if he's able to help or not. Last season as a starter, Webber was either very good or very bad.

If it's one of those bad nights, you go to someone else. If Webber is playing well, then you get all those minutes out of him.

Parker sees Webber getting 12+ minutes a night. But the question should be, does Webber see himself playing so little? Come on, everyone knows he's going to harp about playing time. It's what Webber does, even when he was averaging just over 29 minutes a game in the 06-07 regular season.

Then Parker starts getting silly...

Go back to last season. The Pistons had one of their best stretches once Webber became a starter, going 16-4. They also started the playoffs on fire, winning their first seven games and 10 of their first 12.

This time around, Webber will come in rested and not be coming off an injury that limited him to just 18 games with the 76ers last season.

In 43 games for Detroit, Webber averaged 11.3 points, 6.7 rebounds and three assists.

And some nights, there even were flashes of brilliance.

This is typical Parker, using stats selectively, cherry picking what he needs to make his shaky argument credible. Otherwise known as Parkerizing a column.

No one cares about the regular season, it's all about the playoffs. Here's C-Webb's playoff stats...

25+ minutes, 9.9 PPG, 6.3RPG, and 1.5 APG. Down across the board. It was a viscous circle. you could say the stats were down thanks to playing 4 less minutes, but he was getting less PT due to his disappearing while on the floor. Honestly, Webber should not have been getting those kind of minutes as it was, as he was running on fumes in the playoffs.

More importantly, Webber was totally non-existent against the Cavs. He did next to nothing in that series. I want to see "flashes of brilliance" when it counts, not against NBA bottom dwellers in March.

Then, to fill column inches, the functionally retarded one lists C-Webb's accomplishments.

Webber, selected after his sophomore season by the Orlando Magic with the first overall pick and then traded to the Golden State Warriors, has done just about everything you can do in the league except win a championship.

He was rookie of the year in 1994 and has made it to the All-Star Game five times, been to the postseason a bunch of times and made a ton of cash.

None of that is pertinent to the discussion at hand. None of it. Webber isn't that player anymore, and hasn't been in quite some time, not since his microfracture surgery. Compared to the player he once was, Webber's shadow is a shadow of his former self.

Parker fails to mention Webber's college and pro teams have never won the big game. Not at Michigan, as they never could close the deal in the NCAA's, and more tellingly, his teams never won the Big 10. Nor at Sacramento (His Golden St. Washington and Philly teams never had a chance), where some very talented teams ultimately underachieved, never getting past the western finals. (which they only reached once)

Parker finishes his tripe filled column with a tug at the heartstrings...

Last year, Webber was two victories away from making The Finals.

Here, he would have one more shot to finally win it all.

Awww. The only reason this is an issue is that Webber is a native Detroiter. Win one for C-Webb! Fortunately, the Pistons aren't run on sentiment, just performance. And at this point of his career, despite Parker's belief, Webber would just be hanging on, hoping to to get a ring that he had little to do with winning.

I once loved Chris Webber as a player. But he's not that same player. Not at 34, with knees made of paper mache. It's time folks realized it, even if the worst columnist in America doesn't.

Above the Fold - Enough of the "Will he or won't he?" speculation

The 2 huge blogosphere stories today are in regard two subjects I couldn't care less about, the Congressional Mitchell Report hearings, and Steve Jobs' Macworld keynote.

Both are overrated, with plenty of flash and little to no substance. Considering our congress is all show, and no go, doing little to stem the PED tide, and most computer users don't have a need to drop 2 grand for what is essentially a slick operating system running on standard PC hardware, their importance in the big scheme of things seem more than a tad overblown.

Nothing will change because Congress puts on a steroid dog and pony show, and Apple will always be a niche player in everything but MP3 players. So what's the big damn deal?

Detroit has it's own share of overblown stories.

The most overblown being the unhealthy, almost obscene, fascination over high school football recruit Terrelle Pryor. Michigan or tOSU? What school's hat/sweatshirt is he wearing today? Is he the next coming of Vick and Young combined? Michigan will win a 4 national titles with Pryor under center! Michigan is toast if Pryor doesn't commit!

As much as we've heard otherwise, Pryor is a high school kid, not football Jesus!

For example, the Freep has 2 long form articles about Pryor in today's web edition. One is an article looking at the success/failure of #1 QB recruits...

If Michigan gets its coveted commitment from Terrelle Pryor, the nation's No. 1 recruit according to Rivals.com, is the dual-threat quarterback guaranteed to be a star?

Most people who have seen Pryor play would say yes. But history isn't exactly on their side.

OK, that's fine. A well researched article confirming the mercurial nature of high school recruits. You can never be sure what you are going to get, no 18 year old football player, no matter how talented, is a sure thing.

But there is also a breathless Chicago Tribune article that's a fluff piece on Pryor "mania." Any article that quotes Drew Sharp as an expert leaves much to be desired.

Michigan was barely in the picture until Rodriguez — “Rich Rod,” Pryor calls him — took the Wolverines job. Rodriguez phoned Pryor with the news before letting almost anyone else know.

Now hardcore Michigan fans are in freak-out mode over Pryor.

Detroit Free Press columnist Drew Sharp wrote that Rodriguez “must keep Pryor away from Jim Tressel. He must do whatever it takes. Failure is not an option.”

Please. One recruit is NOT going to make or break Michigan, even if the biased Sharp claims otherwise. Michigan will survive if Pryor commits elsewhere, even tOSU. It may take a couple of seasons to get the Rodriguez spread running at full speed, but long term, the Wolverines will still be the Wolverines, with or without, Pryor.

All this talk about a high school kid just confirms what how sleazy and overblown college recruiting can be. And we wonder why bit time college football players have a sense of entitlement, that they are above everything. You head would get quite large if you had the eyes of the MSM watching and reporting your every move.

The other story that is getting entirely too much push is Chris Webber's odyssey, another "will he, or won't he?" story.

What got me going was WXYT spending a couple of hours on this non-topic during their mid-day show, will Webber be a Piston? Why spend so much time on something that has little chance of happening? It's 1 hour plus I'll never get back, and will get called out for when I arrive at the pearly gates. "You wasted your life listening to a nonsensical topic on sports talk radio! That's gonna buy you some time in purgatory, son!"

The Freep is also far from blame free, as they also write about Webber's nothing quote to a Sactown reporter.

Former Piston Chris Webber said in a Sacramento TV interview Sunday that he expected to be playing "in two weeks." He wouldn't name teams but said a handful had offered him a spot.

The Pistons have maintained that they are speaking with Webber and his agent but would only bring him back as the team's fourth big man. They also would need to clear a roster spot because they are at the league limit of 15.

It wasn't a long article, but it is a useless waste of bandwidth. Webber doesn't fit on the Pistons, not this season. Webber is going to go where he can get PT, and he's NOT going to get it in Detroit.

First off, does anyone seriously believe Webber would agree to the the Pistons 4th big man? For that matter, that the Pistons would want to waive someone to sign a once great player who is a shadow of his former self, who could give you maybe 8 minutes a game? Me neither.

Hell, at this point of their careers, Primoz Brezec is a more useful player for the Pistons, and Brezec won't harp about playing time. Unlike Webber...

Re-signing Webber would go against everything Joe Dumars and Flip Saunders have said about developing the youth on the bench. That's just what the Pistons need, another old big man to take time away from Jason Maxiell and Amir Johnson. (Not that Johnson is getting much anyway...)

I like the current chemistry of this Pistons team, don't go mucking it up with a shadow of his former self Chris Webber.

That's "Above the Fold" for Tuesday, 1-15-07!

Quick thoughts on a cold as Hell Detroit afternoon

I just wanted to throw a few of my thoughts out there that don't need a full blown post to themselves...

How quickly does time fly? Ron Artest is coming to town for the first time since the Palace brawl, and it's not HUGE news.

Between 'Sheed hatin' on Worldwide Leader dot com reporters, the drawn out Chris Webber signing, and Kevin Garnett doing his best Carmelo Anthony imitation when Antonio McDyess clenched his fists, Sactown coming to the Palace is almost under the radar. Ron Artest has become, if not a non story, more of a sideshow to the daily Pistons soap opera.

Unfortunately, crazy ass Artest in Detroit gives the WWLiS ample reason to replay the "Malice at the Palace" lowlights endlessly today. That's even though the main combatants are on new teams, the law has closed the book on the matter, and damn near everyone would rather just put it in the past and move on at this point. But give ESPN even a slight opening, and they'll ram through with the video.

Chris Webber is already paying dividends. C-Webb, despite not knowing the offense and being far from top playing shape, still put up a very nice stat line last night. 16 points, 7 boards, and 4 assists in 38 minutes. To be honest, Joe Dumars needed a good signing. After the free agent busts picked up in the off season, getting Webber was a nice recovery.

I won't say that I've lost confidence in Joe D, but the personnel decisions made since the Darko debacle had, at the very least, shaken my faith in the Pistons front office decision making process. So far Webber has looked like a promising addition, restoring luster to Dumars' slightly tarnished reputation as a top notch GM.

I still cannot fathom that a team QB'ed by Rex Grossman is in the NFC championship game. That got to thinking how far the Lions are from being title contenders, when compared to the 4 teams left playing. I thought that would make a nice post, a topic to tackle when I had a little more time, drawing up comparisons between the teams. Then I remembered the Lions have an incompetent boob making their personnel decisions, and realized it would be an exercise in futility. Utter futility.

This off season, the drafting of Mike Williams is continuing to haunt the incompetent boob. With the draft coming up soon, the Lions may have a a difficult decision on their hands. Do they dare take a skill position player with the 2nd overall pick? Knowing how offensive the offensive line has been, will Millen take tackle Joe Thomas? If he does so, Millen will have to pass up taking a possible franchise QB in Jamarcus Russell, or the player that is currently consider the top overall rated player in the draft, wide receiver Calvin Johnson.

Millen takes the lineman, and the Lions may be passing up on absolute offensive studs who may be difference makers for years. Take either skill player, and there will be a chorus of "What in the Hell is he thinking? They need to build from the inside out!"

I would not want to be in his shoes on draft day, as either direction Millen goes, he's going to lose in the eyes of the fans.

Mitch Albom's rewriting history again

Today, Mitch Albom wrote of his "Questioning" of Chris Webber during the Pistons press conference. Not surprisingly, Mitch gives himself too much credit, while dissing the rest of the media in attendance. Here's the Little Fella's version...

"at a news conference Tuesday where, for the first 10 minutes, the questions were basically light, bright and easy, I asked what I felt, as a journalist, needed to be asked.

I asked about Michigan. And booster Ed Martin. And money."

From reading that, the Little Fella would have you believe while the other members of the media were tossing softball after softball, he went after Webber with his 6-guns blazing, taking no prisoners. Much in the same way the late Joe Falls ambushed Mike Ilitch and Phil Garner with pointed questions about the direction of the Tigers franchise during their introduction of Garner as the new manager.

First off, as Ian mentioned in the comments to yesterday's "Ironic" post, WXYT's Dennis Fithian first broached the subject with Webber, if in a round about way. But as for Albom, here's the actual question Mitch asked, taken directly from the transcript of the presser posted on the Detroit Pistons website.

Chris, welcome back. Do you want to take this opportunity to talk about the Michigan situation? The Ed Martin and everything that happened. Talk about, “when it’s all said and done, well I will tell everything what really went on.” You have a great forum here and a chance to address that. What do you want to say about that and to the people of Michigan?

Mitch proudly claimed he asked about Michigan, Ed Martin, and the money. If fact, if that was true, the question would have come off a little more pointed and confrontational, wouldn't you think?

Perhaps something like...

"Are you ever going to apologize to the university and its fans for your part part in having the Michigan basketball program put on probation, thanks to your taking money from Ed Martin?"

To be honest, I'd bet that is damn close to what Drew Sharp would have asked. He's known for that kind of grandstanding. That sure wasn't what Mitch asked. The Little Fella gave Webber an easy out in the way he worded his "Tough" question.

I think was really gets me about the column is this little nugget.

"as someone who spent the better part of two years all but living around Webber and the Fab Five, I really hope it works out."

As I said yesterday, no other writer had that kind of behind the scenes access during those wild Michigan years. Which begs the question, how does a player take $280K, and a JOURNALIST not notice?

Something else bothers me about the whole Webber/Albom situation. Was the middle of a press conference the right time and place to ask Webber for his mea culpa in regard to the Martin scandal? In my mind, not even close. Webber is a smart guy. If he had been dumb enough to answer the "Question" Mitch asked, a media feeding frenzy would have ensued. It'd have been open season on Webber, and all questioning about his role on the Pistons would have gone out the front entrance of the Palace. NO WAY was Webber going to say anything, and the Little Fella knew it. It was a pure showboat, look-at-me move by a so-called "Media star."

Mitch also whines that Webber has said for years that "It's not the right time." Thing is, Webber has every right to decide when is "The right time." The cynic in me guesses that the "Right time" will be after Webber retires, and follows the path taken by other controversial athletes (Pete Rose and Jose Conseco come to mind), and has a book/website/TV show/product to pimp.

As a Michigan fan, I'm over the whole damn thing. It's water long under the bridge. And it's not as if Webber is the only one to blame. In the column, Mitch allows Steve Fisher to come off as an innocent in the whole affair, saying that, "He (Fisher) believed Chris." Personally, I find it hard to fathom that the head coach of a major conference team had no knowledge of the shady goings on that hovered around HIS program.

But that's another post for another day.

What it comes down to is this... The only people who haven't moved on from the Ed Martin scandal are newspaper columnists trying to sell papers, sports talk radio hosts trying to grab ratings, and a small handful of Michigan basketball fans who still hold a grudge.

I'm not saying that the vast majority of basketball fans willing to forgive and forget, to live and let live, are right or wrong. It just is what it is...

Personally, I just want to see the Pistons right their ship, rather than continue to talk about a long dead numbers runner and the grief that he caused.

Isn't it ironic?

No, this isn't a post about Alanis Morissette singing about what a jerkass Dave Coulier was to her. Hold it, I'm off on my 90's pop culture, that was "You Oughta Know." Nor is it about her incorrect use of irony. ("A black fly in your Chardonnay" and "A traffic jam when you're already late" aren't ironic, just bad luck...)


What this post is about was the questioning that took place during Chris Webber press conference this afternoon. It's more about who asked a certain question, the one we knew was going to be asked. And why it was dripping with irony.

For the most part, we got the usual "Who/what/where/why/how" sort of softball questioning, and the pat answers you'd expect.

Then the Little Fella, believing himself to be the "Journalist" that he thinks he is, cinched his belt, gritted his teeth, gathered up all his gumption, and asked Webber of he had anything to say about the University of Michigan "Situation," or as he called it, "The elephant in the room."

As expected, Webber danced around the question, as he has for years. He said he was there to talk about the Pistons.

What's funny, or should I say, "Ironic," is that there was no writer who had more unfettered access to the Michigan basketball program, Webber, and the rest of the Fab 5, than Mitch Albom.

During the Ed Martin years, the supposed best sportswriter in the U.S. observed everything that was going down in Ann Arbor, witness to a basketball program careening towards renegade status. The Little Fella then somehow wrote that wonderful piece of fiction, a big sloppy French kiss to the baggy shorts and black socks era, a book called "Fab Five."

Unfortunately, the fiction that was "Fab Five" gave the Little Fella his start as one of the most popular writers of simple, short, syrupy sap in the world, with titles like "The 5 People Morrie Met in Heaven for One More Tuesday."

But the Little Fella to be the one asking Webber about the numbers money in the cake years? Could there been anything more ironic?

Albom asks what he should have been able to report on if he had anything other than selling a ton of books on his mind back in the day. His wearing of Maize and Blue colored glasses made for a compelling story, that in hindsight, was nothing more than a bunch of romanticized bullshit.

So 15 years later, we have the 2 facing each other in a press conference. We had Webber, who complained in the book that he didn't have the cash to even buy a pizza, and complained that the NCAA was making millions off his likeness, despite (As we found out a few years later) taking hundreds of thousands under the table. We also had Albom, who believed (Or ignored) everything he was told, and didn't bother call Webber on any it at the time, now trying to get him to do so.

Talk about ironic...

C-Webb to the Pistons? Maybe Bonzi or Mo-Pete? Talk about rolling the dice...

If you can say one thing about Joe Dumars, it's that he's not afraid to make BIG moves. Dumars is also not afraid to admit that a mistake was made, and will correct it ASAP, rather than let it fester. Even if it did take 3 seasons to realize that Darko was never going to make it in the D. When Joe D decided it was time, right or wrong, full value or not, he got rid of the "Human Victory Cigar."

Which brings us to the hot rumors surrounding the Pistons, Chris Webber, Morris Peterson, and Bonzi Wells.

Numerous sources are saying that C-Webb to the Palace is a done deal. We're also reading that the Pistons have made several inquiries about Wells and Mo-Pete, as both are reportedly on the block. It's also obvious that Nazr Mohammed's minutes have been steadily decreasing and he is headed to the bench, and that Flip Murray is not the solution to much of anything.

Then we have all the chemistry issues mentioned by Tayshaun Prince, the benching of Dale Davis due to his (Supposedly) blowing off a practice, the Chauncey Billups injury and coming free agency, 'Sheed's state of mind (Let alone his ankle), and that the East race is wide open, and anyone's for the taking. That's not to forget that Flip Saunders earlier this week took the Pistons to task on their season long lack of consistent focus and effort.

It's looking more and more that Dumars' recognizes all this, and knows that action, maybe something drastic, needs to be taken.

I think all the rumors surrounding the Pistons interest in Webber, plus Wells and Mo-Pete, confirms that Dumars' believes that the Pistons are not winning the NBA title as currently constructed.

Why not take a chance on C-Webb? It's just going to cost money. He brings skills to the table that none of the other big men have. But it's not a slam dunk that Chris Webber is the answer. He's no longer the dynamic big man he was during the Fab 5 years. Or even the Sacramento years. We all know the downsides of Webber, those being his knees, defense, and the U of M/Ed Martin/time out baggage, which you know the media is going to ask about.


Even though Webber is no longer as good as he once was, he's still better than Antonio McDyess (As he's currently playing, which is not well) Jason Maxiel (But do not take away his minutes, I love his upside), Nazr Mohammed (More on him below), and Dale Davis (Trade bait thanks to his expiring contract). If the Webber stories are true, Nazr is probably the odd man out, not Jason Maxiel. Thank goodness.

If signing C-Webb is even money, then I'm guessing that getting a Bonzi Wells or Mo-Pete are much longer shots. Especially Peterson, who does not have nearly the baggage of noted head case Bonzi. I'd much rather have Mo-Pete, but he'd be a hard get. Wells has the more tradeable contract, as it matches up fairly well with Flip Murray. Exchanging those 2 makes a ton of sense, as both look like they need a change of scenery.

But the Webber move would be the big one, the move everyone is talking about. A coup that makes the Pistons favorites in the East. It would also but a ton of pressure on Flip Saunders. Could you picture 'Sheed, C-webb, and (God forbid) Bonzi on the same roster? If I'm Saunders, I'm asking for combat pay...

All the rumors also lead one to think...

That the Spurs were right about Nazr Mohammed, and the Pistons now realize the contract was a mistake. A 30 million dollar panic move. His minutes have not been consistent all season, and are now rapidly diminishing.

They don't think that McDyess' slow start is a temporary thing, but that he's trending down. The signs are there that he's begun his decline. Even if he picks up the pace, at the very least, insurance is needed. Dice only has so many minutes left in those surgery ravaged knees.

The team needs a spark similar to the boost 'Sheed gave them in 2004. Then we have the 'Sheed "Knucklehead" factor. It's been held in check for 2+ seasons, but have his recent play and actions been a sign of a return of the "Jailblazer" 'Sheed? Personally, I hope not, as I've really enjoyed Rasheed and his unselfish play. But you have to admit that the knucklehead stuff always in the back of your mind.

That the Pistons likely have 1 more good run in them as currently built, so they need to pull out the stops before the title window closes altogether. Billups returning is not a sure thing. Flip Saunders is continually mentioned as the primary target in the Minnesota Gophers' coaching search. Even with the good play of Maxiel and (sporadicly) Delfino, and Blaylock, the core of the team is aging. The East is horribly weak. If you can win the East, anything can happen, as we saw in 2004.

This is the season for Dumars and the Pistons to go all in.

So, after all is said and written, is Chris Webber the answer?

I'm not going to let all the Wolverine bad blood color my thinking when it comes to Webber. Hell, I sometimes wonder if I wouldn't have done the same thing if I were a 19 year old in Webber's situation. I've always said I'll root for my teams, even if a controversial player were signed. I'm not going to say differently now. If Chris Webber can help the Pistons win it all, and I think he could, then I say to go for it.

Webber may not be the final answer, but he just may be part of the solution.