Who's the biggest idiot in Detroit? It's neck and neck between Rob Parker and Drew Sharp

We have proof that Rob Parker has no idea what he's talking about. I've called him "Functionally retarded" for a reason. Just read this, this, and this if you need convincing.

In fact, I thought Wobb stood alone in his ineptitude as a Detroit columnist.

Then TWFE reader Jon D pointed out Drew Sharp's ill-thought out, ill-informed, and ill-everything column in this morning's Freep. The premise behind Sharp's lunacy?

Trade Jeremy Bonderman for...wait for it...Johan Santana!

If winning the World Series remains the Tigers’ prime objective next year, they can’t sit idly by and let Boston or the Yankees pluck two-time Cy Young Award winner Johan Santana from Minnesota.

While the Red Sox and Yankees offer the Twins a package of primary prospects, the Tigers should dangle Jeremy Bonderman along with some lower minor league prospects. It would ensure them the best one-two lefty-righty starting duo in the American League with Santana and Justin Verlander.

OK, the Tigers should trade Jeremy Bonderman for Johan Santana. It could happen. In another dimension, where black is white, up is down, good is bad, and insane is sane.

The Twins would NEVER trade arguably the best pitcher in all of baseball to a division rival. Never, ever gonna happen. That would be sheer lunacy on the Twins part.

A breakdown in starting pitching cost the Tigers more last season than an injury-riddled bullpen or Gary Sheffield’s bad shoulder. There’s no questioning that Verlander’s inconsistency late in the season is more likely an aberration, but it’s not a certainty that Bonderman can overcome the obstacles that rendered him a hostage to first-inning difficulties.

This passage is quite Parker-like, in that Sharp makes a definitive statement, with nothing to actually back it up.

We all know that the reason the Tigers faded down the stretch was due to their pitching issues, mostly brought on by injury. Interestingly, Sharp also claims Justin Verlander was was inconsistent late in the season, but has no stats to back it up. So let's look 'em up, shall we?

Justin Verlander was 7-2 in 11 starts during August and September. The team was 8-3 over those 11 starts. His era as of 8/6/07? 3.60. His ERA after his last start on 9/29/07? 3.66.

Was Verlander as dominant as he was during the first half? No, it was obvious that he tired some, but as you can see, he pitched through it. I'll take that sort of "Inconsistency" from a pitcher anytime.

As for Bonderman's being "Hostage to first-inning difficulties?" We found out that Bonderman was pitching through a SORE ELBOW from July on, an injury that he didn't tell anyone about. That could explain plenty in regard to the first inning struggles.

Remember, the first inning stuff wasn't really an issue in the season's first half, when Bonderman almost made the All-Star game. In fact, Bonderman was dominant. It wasn't one until the elbow injury.

He has got the lightning stuff, but there remain concerns regarding his mental toughness. The Twins might show more interest in a 24-year-old with five years of major league experience who’s already under contract for another four years at a reasonable price.

Wait a second. Sure, the Twins are unquestionably cheap, and would like the fact that Bonderman's under contract for quite some time. But why would the Twins want damaged goods for an elite arm? Bonderman's a head case, if you believe Sharp, and even worse, he's coming off of an elbow injury that made him ineffective for the entirety of the season's second half.

If I'm the Twins, I'm walking away from that scenario. Fast!

They’ve already purged enough prospects from the farm system in landing shortstop Edgar Renteria and it would be idiocy parting with Cameron Maybin and/or Rick Porcello in any package for the 28-year-old Santana. It will require a little more outside-the-box thinking to get the better of the Yankees and Red Sox in their annual exercise of looting the less financially fortunate.

Sharp admits the idiocy in parting with Maybin and/or Porcello. It's also idiocy to think you can actually trade Porcello. He signed with Detroit on August 13th. Under MLB rules, you can't trade a minor league prospect in the first 6 months after he signs. If he was unofficially part of a deal, Porcello would have to be a PTBNL, much like Bonderman was in the Jeff Weaver trade.

Considering the elite status of Santana, I doubt the Twins fanbase is going to be happy with a PTBNL as the cornerstone of any trade. Even though Porcello is a prime time prospect, he's 2-3 years, possibly more, away. The Twins want prospects that can help much sooner than that, like next season. The prospects being talked about in deals with either the Yankees or Red Sox confirm that thought.

The Tigers just don't have the ammo to go after a Santana, even if it was plausible.

Sharp says it'll take outside-the-box thinking to make a deal. It's that sort of outside-the-box thinking that give us this tripe disguised as a column.

Bonderman for Santana is the sort of trade that only happens in the clueless brains of hack columnists, or out of touch, rose colored glasses wearing fans. At least those clueless fans aren't being paid good money to write a feature column for a fishwrap, appear regularly on the worldwide leader, and spew inanities on local sports talk radio.

Sharp, on the other hand...