If today's column is any indication, Jerry Green should keep writing about dead guys

If the Detroit News' resident curmudgeon Jerry Green ever wondered why he's been marginalized to the point of having a web only column on Sundays, today's tour de force of craposity explains why.

We all know the only reason Green is still employed is so he can keep the silly streak of attending every Super Bowl alive. If he continues to churn out tripe that DEFENDS Matt Millen, as he did today, he can expect to stay home for Super Bowl XLIII.

In my half-century plus of viewing and writing about games and players in Michigan, no other individual has been bashed and vilified with the intensity and venom as Matt Millen.

Perhaps, I am the outrageous one. I still admire Matt Millen for his guts and his eloquence. I am, I believe, the sole surviving defender of Matt Millen in Detroit media. There is this old-fashioned belief that character counts, that honesty matters -- and when character and honesty and principle are parts of an individual's makeup -- I don't give much of a hoot about the perpetual losing of a football team.

Most everybody else disagrees.

Tough tomatoes!

Tough tomatoes? What the HELL? Is that some sort of snappy, hard-boiled repartee from the 1930's? Like "23 skiddoo?" Or calling guys "palookas" and chicks "broads?" I think I'm going to start using "Tough tomatoes" in my everyday life.

"Hey Al, don't you think you're being hard on addled senior citizens like Jerry Green?"

"Tough tomatoes!"

How dense is Green? Millen has been bashed with such ferocity for a reason. 81 reasons in 7 years, to be exact. No GM in recorded sports history has been so bad for so long. Millen is setting records for ineptitude that will NEVER be broken.

Then to claim the incompetent Millen ELOQUENT?! On what fucking planet? Doesn't Green remember such Millen verbal gems as "Where are your testicles?" How about the moron calling Johnny Morton a "Faggot?" If that's eloquence, I'm Rob Parker.

If Green had been as awful as Millen has been, the old dude would be out of a job. Uh...Wait...

Green goes on to say "Millen was at his gutsiest" for talking to the media on Thursday. WHAT? Millen was been in hiding all God damn season! He hadn't shown his face to anyone who could ask him a question since August 2007. Millen has been nowhere to be found till this week, and Green thinks that's GUTSY?!

The column becomes even more insane...

He was exactly what the Lions' aching fans had begged Bill Ford for through a couple of futile decades. Hire a football guy to operate the football team.

Millen was a football guy. A football guy with winning in his resume.

Not anymore, Jerry. Not anymore...

Was Millen greeted with open arms? Definitely, as both the fans and media knew major change was needed. But after 7 seasons, there's absolutely no defending Millen as a "football guy." Millen has proven to be anything but a "football guy." Maybe a "football numbskull." Even a "football dimwit." But a "football guy?" Not so much...

Green is attempting to defend the utterly indefensible, and he's failing miserably.

Winning starts with the judgment and procurement of talented athletes. And it continues with the hiring of the head coach and follows with consistency within the coaching staff.

Matt Millen has made his confessions now. He has echoed all the critics, the radio mouths, the outraged street hikers in the Millen Man March. He has grabbed the blame, slashed himself with the dagger.

Could this "column" be any more condescending? Everything is A-OK, because Millen accepted some blame? You have to be kidding! He's done so after EVERY FUCKING SEASON! Letting the dumb ass off the hook because he accepts blame is nothing short of flabbergasting.

Millen has destroyed the Detroit franchise. He's a league wide embarrassment. The incompetent boob has become the butt of jokes at the scouting combine. It's going to take YEARS for the team to recover from Millen's clueless decision making. But Green thinks that's OK, because the imbecile is sorry? I've never heard such asinine reasoning. Then again, we should expect such asinine tripe when it's coming from an old fart who thinks "tough tomatoes" is a witty comeback.

"Beyond awful," he says, and it is so true.

It is so true, too, that Matt Millen remains a man of character and honesty, of guts and eloquence.

Bill Belichick, he is not -- and tough tomatoes!

Uh...Wha....I'm...I'm at a loss for words.

Green says Millen carries himself with character, honestly, guts and eloquence? I've just entered Bizarro World. Down is up, right is wrong, and Millen is great football man who has no peer.

I can only guess that Green has confused Millen with one of the smart, qualified, successful GM's in Detroit. You can give those deserved compliments to Joe Dumars, Ken Holland or Dave Dombrowski, and not be ridiculed. It'd be silly.

But to compliment MILLEN? You DESERVE to ridiculed! It DEMANDS to be ridiculed.

Millen has as much character as Karl Rove. He's as honest as Tommy "Yeah...That's the ticket" Flanagan. He has all the guts of disemboweled steer, and the eloquence of a drunk after a 3 day bender.

I have to ask... Did the editors at the Detroit News run this column as a joke? If they did, then it's one Hell of a good laugh. Because in no way could they have thought Green was being deadly serious.

I'm guessing when the News' editors went to Green, asking if he actually wanted to run this oddly fascinating, yet quite disturbing column, he replied...

"Tough tomatoes!"

Then Green said something about the Kaiser, wearing an onion on his belt, and wanting 5 bees for a quarter.

Rob Parker is insane

In today's News, the "Worst columnist in America" takes a look at what the Tigers need to add in free agency. The functionally retarded one, Rob Parker, thinks the Tigers need to add //GASP// a starting pitcher. Well, no shit, Parker.


Unfortunately, reading the column is an exercise in sheer stupidity. It literally left me slack-jawed. The insanity follows...

The following moronic paragraph is "Parkerizing" at it's ugliest and most blatant, cherry picking specific stats to inflate his FLAWED beyond belief column.

Here are three who are interesting and possibly could help Detroit: Kris Benson, Shawn Chacon, Brett Tomko.

Benson was 11-12 with a 4.82 ERA with the Orioles. In 2005 with the Mets, he was 10-8 with a 4.13 ERA. Chacon was 5-4 with a 3.94 ERA with the Pirates. But with the Yankees two years ago, he was 7-2 with a 2.85 ERA in 12 starts. Tomko is a bigger gamble. He was 4-12 last season between the Dodgers and Padres. A few years ago, however, he won 11 games.

You're kidding, right? Not even a mention of who's probably the best starting pitcher left in free agency, Kenny Rogers? A pitcher who has stated that Detroit is his 1st choice? Parker wants to replace a legitimate #1 starter in The Gambler with STIFFS? How stupid does he take Tigers fans to be?

Brett Tomko last won as many as 11 games in 2004. In fact, that's his career year, as he also posted his best ERA, a staggeringly average 4.04. In fact, Tomko has been awful, and 2007 was his worst season yet.

Tomko was 4-12 last season. Sure, going strictly by wins and losses is not a good way to judge a pitcher's effectiveness. Let's look just a tad deeper. Parker doesn't mention that Tomko's ERA in '07 was 5.55, and his WHIP was an astronomical 1.50. Yet Parker thinks the Tigers should take a gamble on Tomko? That's not taking a gamble, that's playing Russian roulette with a bullet in every chamber.

As for Shawn Chacon? You know how many innings he's pitched the last 2 season's total? 205. He's averaged a little over 100 innings a season in '06 and '07. His WHIP? 1.72 and 1.49. That's pitiful, and that's NOT a pitcher I want to see on a team that is gunning for a pennant.

Kris Benson is your quintessential .500 pitcher. At least he's a better choice than Tomko and Chacon. The best you can say about Benson is that he eats innings, averaging 172 a season over his 7 year career. His career WHIP is a not good 1.38. He's basically a worse Nate Robertson. That being a number 5 starter, at best, on a good team. The Tigers are a very good team.

Remember, Benson, Chacon, and Tomko are Parker's "Wish list," pitchers he has hand picked to essentially replace Kenny Rogers, who can be argued is an "Ace."

If the column wasn't bad enough already, Parker takes a direct right turn into "Nonsensical" with the following...

Willis was 10-15 with a 5.17 ERA but is much better than that. Two years ago, he won 22 games. The last 20-game winner in the Tigers' rotation was Bill Gullickson in 1991. Kazmir was 13-9 with a 3.48 ERA. He's a star in the making and could have a breakout season pitching with the Tigers' potent lineup.

And the Tigers have some players to offer, including outfielders Ryan Raburn and Marcus Thames.

Oh my God, that last line is laughable! You are going to offer either a Rob Deer-like 4th outfielder, or a utility man with 69 games of MLB experience, as your prime trade bait for either Willis or Kazmir? That's a joke, right? Parker can't be serious. Unfortunately, he is. Thames or Raburn would be, at best, a throw in for any trade that would snag a quality starting pitcher.

After the trade for Edgar Renteria cost the Tigers 2 of their top 5 prospects, to think the Tigers would deal from a now weaker farm system for a top flight starting pitcher, is silly. But the truth doesn't stop the "Worst columnist in America."

You know what it's going to take to get a pitcher the quality of a 23 year old Kazmir? Cameron Maybin is only a start. Throw in Andrew Miller, and then the Devil Rays might actually pick up the phone. But even that's a stretch.

In all actuality, the Rays would never trade Kazmir, unless you overwhelmed them with an offer that would totally empty your farm system. Teams don't trade 23 year old starters with the upside of Kazmir. It would be the equivalent of the Tigers trading Justin Verlander. You just don't do it. Unless you no longer want to be a MLB GM...

There has been some talk that Willis would be available. As Willis is the Marlins ace, if you want him in your rotation, you are going to pay a dear price via trade. It may not take quite that much to pry Willis from the Marlins as compared to Kazmir, but it would take at least 1 of the Tigers best prospects to even get the Marlins to listen. But the more I think about it, the price would be similar to Kazmir, that being way too much...

Yet Parker thinks Thames and Raburn would yeild good starting pitching... Good God damn Lord, that's uber-stupid!

Then the news' so-called baseball "Expert" writes this...

The reason the Tigers didn't make it back to the playoffs was because of pitching, not hitting.

A 9 year old could come up better analysis. In fact, a 9 year old could write a better column. The Detroit News should be ashamed to print such outright tripe.

Chris McCosky doesn't like me

The MSM is at it again, as another columnist rips into the blogosphere, trying to protect his own quickly dying turf.

I was alerted this morning by Bill, of The Detroit Tigers Weblog, that the Detroit News' Pistons beat writer, Chris McCosky, went off on a rant regarding blogs, using the Joel Zumaya story as a leaping off point. Bill's quite thoughtful and measured response to McCosky's tripe can be found here.

Notice something? I just attributed what I "Heard" to both another blog, and to the fish wrap itself, something McCosky claims is rarely the case.

"A lot of times these bloggers use the work of legitimate reporters. They will lift facts and segments of stories and cut and paste them onto their blog. Rarely, if ever, though, do they bother to credit the source."

That's an outright lie. I know I always link to the fish wrap or website where I get my info, and the vast majority of bloggers do also. Bloggers have always been more than willing to share credit and info compared to the MSM. It's bad blogging courtesy to do otherwise, and you will be quickly called out by the blogosphere if you don't. That's also lazy, Rob Parker-like writing, conveniently ignoring those facts in order to make his flawed point.

Ask McCosky, or any other MSM beat writer, where they get info for their “Around the League” style notes and rumor columns. They don’t get it all on their own, trust me. Where’s the attribution to other newspapers and writers? I don’t see it. Never have, and I never will. Pot, please meet kettle.

McCosky seems to be purposely (Or cluelessly) lumping blogs with message boards over the Zumaya story to make his argument credible.

Bloggers are having a field day speculating on how Joel Zumaya really injured his shoulder. Nobody believes a heavy box fell on him. So the Internet is rife with stories about how he fell off his dirt bike.

That's pure bullshit.

Again, he's ignoring the truth. NONE of the Tigers bloggers did any rumormongering over Zumaya's shoulder injury, and how it may have happened. NONE. The bloggers just took Zumaya at his word. Sure, you could easily find the dirt bike rumor on the message boards, but those are a totally different animal, despite what McCosky might believe.

No one can say for sure what may have happened, other than Zumaya, and his family. It's irresponsible to speculate otherwise. But that didn’t stop both of Detroit's sports talk radio stations from talking about the rumor. Where’s his beef with them?

I find this next paragraph laughable.

With blogging and Web sites, it seems the hard work, standards, accountability, courage all of that is bypassed. Who needs to study this stuff, or attend games, or conduct interviews when you can just sit in your basement and clack out whatever comes through your head, right? If I rip somebody, or if I get something wrong, who cares? Nobody will see me.

When you see a column bashing blogs and other alternative media, writers like McCosky come off as offended that they are actually being called out on their opinions. They always go for the "Living in mom's basement while typing in their underwear" stereotype. He's so offended, he goes to the no longer factual or humorous stereotype a second time...

But you do have to know most reporters at legitimate news sources work hard to deliver fair, accurate and pertinent information. And what they do is vastly different than what the clever dude in his pajamas is doing on his computer, down in his basement.

If you are going to take potshots at us, at least try to be funny, and show a little creativity. Then again, when you talk about creativity and newspapers, never the twain shall meet.

In fact, the only supposed advantage McCosky has over most bloggers is access, and if you ask me, that’s often a detriment. Do you really think beat writers pass on to the readers what he's really thinking, or actually knows? Please. He has to censor himself in order to he to keep that so-called Holy Grail called access. Between you and me, I wouldn’t want that access, as it's overrated. I’d have to censor myself in everything I write. I wouldn't be able to call out Matt Millen as a blithering idiot who couldn't run a Pop Warner team, for example. But I digess...

When I say that access is overrated, it's that the athletes themselves are so guarded in their dealings with writers, you get nothing more from them than worthless drivel. When was the last time you ever heard anything other than platitudes come from the mouth of an athlete? For every informative/inflammatory statement a beat writer may get, we get hundreds of "Both teams played hard" style quotes.

McCosky, and the rest of the MSM, are fighting a war that they have already lost, despite the MSM trying to delude themselves in thinking otherwise. The newspapers are dead and dying. It's adapt or die, and the MSM writers are kicking and screaming their way into oblivion. To be honest, I find the writing on many blogs is infinitely more entertaining than what you’ll find in the fish wraps on a daily basis.

It comes down to this. If I want to find out the thoughts of the players after a game, I’ll go to the fish wrap. Even that's no longer necessary, as I can get the AP wire copy, in numerous places around the web, within an hour after the game ends. As it is,the newspaper recaps are redundant. Read what the beat writers from each newspaper write after a game. It's almost interchangeable.

Most readers have watched the game themselves, so they don't need newspaper recaps. They want opinion, not a rehashing of what they've already seen. If I want entertaining, thoughtful, and (Especially) timely opinion, I find myself going to the blogs. That more and more sports fans are doing the same thing scares the Hell out of MSM writers, leading to bash-fests like McCosky's, spewing that bloggers aren't "Journalists."

My reply? When have we ever claimed to be?

If McCosky and his ilk want to rip blogs, go right ahead. Just get your facts straight in regard to how the blogosphere works before you go off half cocked. More importantly, don’t expect bloggers to take it lying down.

Taking a trip back in baseball time

When you don't have a ton of spare cash, or are just a cheap bastard, you tend to check out the deal and freebie websites, such as SlickDeals.net. The hidden gem of that site is the free magazine subscription forum, which posters talk about, well, free magazine subscription offers.

Thanks to that forum, I have a 17 year subscription to Maxim, 14 to Stuff (Hey, they kept offering, I kept accepting), and about 10 others. The latest of which is a 1 year sub to that old chestnut, "Baseball Digest."

Yes, the same magazine that you most likely read for the latest baseball scoop when you were 12. Same cheap newsprint quality, same small size, same comic book like advertising, and the same unwavering and strict adherence of only using traditional stats to determine a ballplayers worth.

In other words, nothing has changed since the last time I actually read a "Baseball Digest" in full, which I'm guessing is a good 30 years ago.

OPS? ERA+? WHIP? VORP? Sabermetrics has no standing in the world of "Baseball Digest." Once you open it up, you enter a magical place where you are a good hitter if you hit .270, defense is solely judged by a player's fielding percentage, and wins or saves by a pitcher is the be all, end all.

Reading "Baseball Digest" was like going back in time to 1975, where every player is a great player, and he's an even better person. Never a negative thing is to be said in an issue of "Baseball Digest."

A typical article is the generic "The Art of Clutch Hitting," which uses the usual suspects as examples. That being Ortiz and Jeter, and they also like the "Pesky" David Eckstein. I guess a couple of hits in the World Series makes you "Clutch," even though the rest of your career has shown you to be utterly average.

The crux of the article is that you know a clutch hitter when you see him. Deep insight was never a strong suit of "Baseball Digest."

The cover story is a puff piece on Grady Sizemore, "The Tribe's Rising Star." Did you know he's entering the conversation as the best all-around player in the game? That Grady is a special player, and a special person? That everybody loves Grady? And don't forget that he's always striving to be better, or his undeniable charisma...

Another interesting article is "Under Pressure," about the unique skills they say are required of a closer. That being such arbitrary, non-measurable things as "Lots of Attitude." All I can say is that any article about closers that even mentions Bob Wickman and Joe Borowski (Which this does, prominently) is more of a curiosity, than even remotely informative. My only other thought was, "Where's Todd Jones?" Oh yeah, he's a writer for that other print dinosaur, "The Sporting News."

Even more fascinating is the reader mail, otherwise known as "The Fans Speak Out." What is most noticeable is that the fans who write in seem to have never heard of the internet, let alone Google, Baseball-reference.com, Retrosheet.org, MLB.com, or the countless other baseball resources available on the web.

Why would I think the letters were so strange? Due to people writing in, and asking to see such things as s specific box score from decades ago, the 2007 HOF veterans committee voting results, the stats of Warren Spahn and Bud Harrelson, and most bizarrely, someone asking what season Jack Sanford of the Phillies won his MVP award?

Wow. Just wow.

The big "Baseball Digest" opinion piece tells readers who are the best all-around centerfielders in baseball, or as it should actually be titled, the most well known centerfielders.

1. Andruw Jones - Belongs if you ignore 2007, but he's showing lots of wear on the treads.
2. Torii Hunter - No argument here, having a great contract walk year.
3. Carlos Beltran - I'll give it to them, but having a down 2007.
4. Grady Sizemore - No argument, will only get better. Plus, he's the cover boy!
5. Jim Edmonds - Here on reputation only, on the verge of being washed up.
6. Johnny Damon - Another listed due to reputation only, definitely on the down side, and having one of his worst seasons.

Not even a mention of Ichiro, Curtis Granderson, Vernon Wells, or Nick Swisher, to name just a few.

In fact, they don't really use any specific reasoning, or breaking down of stats. But the number of Gold Gloves won (We all know how questionable that award can be) and numerous un-measurables as "Great range," "Strong arm," "He's a great player," and "Can go get 'em" seem to be quite important...

It amazes me to look back at my childhood, and think I took what I read in this rag as bible. Now, it's more of a curio. A rose colored glasses look at Major League Baseball. A trip back to the bygone days when we didn't know (Or care) that a player was blatantly cheating on his wife, and "Scrappiness" was more important than slugging percentage.

"Baseball Digest" is a reminder of what once was, and will never be again. I'm not sure if that's a good thing, or not...

The "Worst Columnist in America" reaches a new low

Things have been quiet on the Wobb Parker front recently. Me thinks mostly due to the fact that the "Worst Columnist in America" was busy trying to hitch his sorry ass to "Cold Pizza."

Now that he's done, and most likely failed, with his social climbing, Wobb comes back swinging with his most asinine and utterly insipid column since his attempt to slander the Tigers' Dave Dombrowski, by calling him the worst GM in Detroit.

In fact, I think Wobb has reached a new level of ineptness. Parker reached for the brass ring of stupidity, and has grasped that stupidity with a death grip.

Why am I waxing rhapsodic over the cluelessness of Parker? Wobb turned in a column, printed in today's Detroit News, that has even the most rabid Michigan basketball fan saying, "What the fuck?"

I quote...

Tommy Amaker shouldn't be fired.

Not today. Not next week. Not after this season.

Every blogger, newspaper columnist, Michigan apologist, and fan had long concluded that the Amaker era has been a spectacular failure, and that his coming back for this season was most undeserved. So the thought that Amaker "Deserves" even more time as the face of Wolverines hoop must come from... 1) A lunatic who should be committed 2) The functionally retarded or 3) The worst columnist in America.

About the only line in this entire column deep, sloppy French kiss to Amaker that makes any sense is, "The program truly is clean."

Other than that, there should be no defending the results of Tommy Amaker. But how Parker tries...

He continues to land A-list recruits.

Who either plateau, or actually regress, rather than improve during their careers.

Parker uses Daniel Horton as a shining example of Amaker's coaching acumen. Horton was a great freshman, unfortunately he was never better. Michigan fans know that Horton never truly lived up to his potential. He was basically the same player all 4 years. Horton came to Michigan as a good player, who after a Big Ten Freshman of the Year award, looked like a NBA 1st round pick. Horton left Michigan as a good player, who wasn't even drafted.

The other example Wobb uses is DeShawn Sims. He of the 3 points, 2 rebounds and 33.8% shooting, all in 9 minutes a game. If you go by Amaker's MO, judging by how players like Horton and Courtney Sims have turned out, DeShawn Sims is not going to get all that much better.

The column takes a turn for the bizarre with this paragraph...

Those who say Amaker hasn't done anything are grossly misled. With Amaker at the helm, Michigan won an NIT title in 2004 and lost to South Carolina in the NIT final last year. That doesn't sound like players who don't want to play for a coach. In fact, it's the opposite. It tells you what kind of a motivator he honestly is.

To defend Amaker by using his "Success" in the NIT Michigan Invitational Tournament, is ...Well, I don't have a word that describes the absolute idiocy of that paragraph. Michigan does well in the NIT, a losers bracket whose only reason for existence is to fill time on the Worldwide Leader, and give the mediocre teams that go some extra practice time, so that proves he's a "MOTIVATOR?"

That's jaw droppingly dumb.

The college basketball world revolves around one thing, and one thing only. Making the only tournament that matters, the NCAA's. For a school of Michigan's stature, with a history of good to excellent basketball teams, to not even sniff the true basketball postseason for the entirety of Amaker's tenure, is unforgivable. Unless, of course, you're Rob Parker.

Wobb really begins to stretch for reasons to keep Amaker with this nugget.

Amaker, who took Seton Hall to the NCAA Tournament in 2000, probably would have made the tournament twice by now if injuries didn't ravish his team two years in a row. It's not an excuse, it's just plain fact.

So Amaker has made the NCAA's in the past? 7 YEARS AGO?! Whoop-de-God-damn-do! Look closer at his record, and it shows that in his previous 9 seasons coaching in both the Big East and Big Ten, 2000 is the only NCAA his teams have made. And to blame injuries? Considering the Wolverines' creampuff scheduling, they were NCAA bubble teams at best, injuries or not. Last season's Big Ten tournament collapse, a fiasco against an awful Minnesota team that kept them from consideration for a lower seed at-large bid, is conveniently ignored.

At this point, it appears that Amaker making the NCAA's was nothing more than a fluke. 4 of his teams were .500 or worse, another was 1 game above break even, and one was 4 games above. If you include this season, that leaves only 4 teams that could be even considered remotely successful. And it's common knowledge that Michigan built their winning records under Amaker thanks to an embarrassingly easy out of conference schedule, playing the likes of community colleges, directional schools, orphanages, intramural teams, and Ann Arbor Pioneer high school. Pardon, me, I got carried away. Michigan's schedule wasn't even THAT tough...

Still, Parker continues to praise Amaker, by comparing him to...Gary Williams at Maryland?

Maryland gave coach Gary Williams time to fix its troubled program. Williams took over in 1989. Five years later, the program's first season off probation, the Terrapins received their first NCAA bid since 1988. Williams led Maryland to a national championship in 2002. Hence, it wound up taking Williams 13 years to accomplish his ultimate goal.

Hold it. Sure, Williams had to take over a probation hindered program, as did Amaker. But Williams took over a program that is in what is generally considered the toughest basketball conference around, the ACC. Before you compare Amaker to Williams, let the stats talk. Williams - 11 consecutive NCAA's, became a perennial Sweet Sixteen participant, two Final Fours, one championship. Amaker - One NCAA appearance, 7 YEARS AGO.

Saying that Michigan should keep Amaker because he MIGHT turn out to be as good as Williams, despite massive evidence to the contrary, is comparable to saying the Lions should keep Matt Millen as GM because he might be as good as Ron Wolf. Both are laughable comparisons.

The entire column is laughable. As laughable as one of Parker's Joe Dumars' mandated Pistons love-ins. It never ceases to amaze me that a big market fish wrap continues to print such non thought out, ill researched, slanted, crap.

Addendum 2/3/07: Ian has a great take on Wobb's column as well...

TWFE predicted Drew Sharp's Parcells to the Lions column. I also predicted the sun to rise in the east & 'Sheed to lead the league in T's

Yesterday, in my "Bill Parcells is never coming to the Lions" post, I predicted that at least one of the local ink stained wretches would call for the Lions to make a play for the Tuna. As always, Detroit columnists are as uninspired as Michigan's Rose Bowl play calling.

In today's Freep, Drew Sharp, out of fresh ideas, and considering he had a deadline, took the Parcells bait. I'd be convinced that I had some sort of ESP if the resulting column hadn't been so predictable...

Targeting Parcells is common sense -- but, of course, the Fords have long sought immunity from that virus. However, if the Lions endure another miserable season, the Fords inevitably will seek another new beginning, and they'd be smart to make a preemptive strike now.

What a flipping pipe dream. William Clay Ford has never been smart, have never done anything preemptively, and there is absolutely no reason to believe that they are about to start now.

Unfortunately for fans of good football everywhere, Matt Millen is going nowhere. This coulmn might be worth running 10 months from now, when the Lions will be in the midst of their 7th consecutive double digit losing season, and the fans are planing their yearly protest.

Until that time, calling for the Lions to make any front office changes are going to fall upon Ford's senile ears. Sharp's column was a waste of newsprint. What else is new?