I hate the Minnesota Twins

Really, I do.

Extremely ugly, painful and outright bad things happen when the Tigers play the Twins, today's strange loss being just another of many heartbreakers. That burning hate was an underlying sentiment in the game thread at Bless You Boys this afternoon. Every few innings, a "I hate the Twins" post would pop up, to every participant's agreement.


My other thoughts about the Minnesota Twins?

I find the Twins abhorrent, abominable, anathematic, defamatory, despicable, detestable, execrable, fastuous, flagitious, hateful, heinous, invidious, loathsome, nauseous, objectionable, obnoxious, odious, opprobrious, outrageous, repellant, repugnant, repulsive and vile.

I also feel an abhorrence, abomination, antipathy, aversion, detestation, hatred, horror, loathing, repellence, repellency, repugnance, repugnancy, repulsion and revulsion towards the Twins.

In fact, get a strong feeling of utter disgust and anathema toward the Twins whenever they play the Tigers. The Twins are anti-American, anti-God and anti any and all things good and righteous.

I'm a Twins bigot. I'm opposed to everything Twins. The Twins should have been contracted when MLB had the chance. I hate the Washington Senators, because they became the Minnesota Twins.

Just how much do I hate the Twins?

I hate them more than Todd Jones. I think that says it all.

As a Tigers fan who's still bitter over the 1987 playoffs...

...Pardon me for not feeling sorry for Twins fans over the awful trade of Johan Santana.

Yes, I still hold a grudge over all the nightmarish experiences the Tigers have suffered in the Homer/Baggie/Hefty/Metrodome. It's nice to revel in a little schafenfreude...

But from a Tigers fan point of view, even better than delighting in the Twins misfortune is the fact the AL Central officially became a 2 team race as of yesterday afternoon.

This trade is the equivalent of the Tigers getting Miguel Cabrera and Dontrelle Willis, yet not giving up Andrew Miller and Cameron Maybin. The Twinkies didn't even get the Mets' best prospect! The Minnesota front office out and out blew it when they didn't jump all over either the Yankees or Red Sox offers during the winter meetings.

My first though about the Santana trade? GOOD RIDDANCE!

I've said in the past that I don't buy the "We can't compete in a small market" BS. Have you ever known of any team owner that isn't personally rolling around in obscene amounts of greenbacks? This is what I said last August about Twins owner Scrooge McDuck Carl Pohlad...

Same goes for other hack owners, like small market poster boy Carl Pohlad of the Twins, who has a net worth over $2.6 BILLION, yet runs his team as if they live on poverty row. In actuality, the Twins have been one Hell of a good investment for the miserly Pohlad. He bought the Twinkies for the relative pittance of $44 million in 1984. They are now worth an estimated $288 million! That's well within the lower half of MLB, but nothing to sneeze at, either.

The cheapskate won't pay (Soon to be) free agent Johan Santana what the market rate is bound to be for a multiple Cy Young award winner, or ignore contract slotting, which would have allowed the Twins to possibly draft Santana's eventual replacement. (Because he is going to leave...)

Pohlad toes the MLB line, though he has deeper pockets than Scrooge McDuck, Hank Scorpio, and Daddy Warbucks combined. Please, I don't want to hear any "Woe is us" whining, from anyone other than frustrated fans...

Sure, Minnesota did ink Justin Morneau (Good signing) and Michael Cuddyer ($24 million for him?) to nice extensions, but they are still relatively early in their careers, thus somewhat affordable. I think it's safe to say, going by Pohlad's penny pinching track record, they won't be Twins when their next contract comes around.

The Twins are supposedly building their team to seriously compete in 2010, when their new stadium will be ready. Thing is, who knows what will happen in 2 seasons? Twins fans best hope at least a couple of the prospects received from the Mets pan out, let alone those currently in their system don't decline, or 2010 won't mean a damn thing. There's plenty of teams who have tried the same plan, only to have it backfire.

We Detroit fans remember when the Tigers were supposedly building for 2000, and the opening of Comerica Park. Unfortunately, the young core of players they locked into long-term deals turned out, to put it bluntly, suck. (Damion Easley, anyone?) 2000 ended up as the high water mark for that core of players, finishing all of 79-83.

It was an ugly, horrific downward spiral from then on. It took another 6 seasons for the Tigers to recover...Thanks to their finally spending money. Lots of money. Money not only on free agents, but in their farm system, on draft picks, the front office, and on their own players.

The American League has become a Cold War style arms race. If you want to compete with the superpowers, you stockpile weapons. You sure as Hell don't give them away for a relative pittance, hoping that you develop fancy new weapons over the next few years.

I'm thrilled the Tigers no longer operate with the same philosophy as the Twins. They are playing to win, and win now, (Yet still keeping one eye on the future) rather than crossing their fingers, and maybe, if everything goes right, winning in 2 or 3 seasons.

Detroit is not a small market. Thank God the Tigers are no longer behaving like it is...

The Tigers are in New York City today. The stretch run fireworks start tonight with 4 games against the Evil Empire.

In my mind, the Yankees will always be the Evil Empire, even if some small market fans are beginning to lump the Tigers in with the big spending, large market, teams. Without a doubt, Detroit's front office has been acting quite a bit like the Yankees in regard to signing draft picks.

The Tigers have tried the small market way of guaranteeing failure, by drafting players with signability in mind. They ended up with monstrous busts like Kenny Baugh and Matt Anderson.

Once Detroit's brain trust told the MLB establishment to basically "Get bent," the Tigers picked gems like Justin Verlander, Andrew Miller, and Cameron Maybin, and signed them to big contracts.

It's not a coincidence that the Tigers' future is now quite bright.

I'm sure Bud Selig is spitting mad at Mike Ilitch for ignoring draft pick salary slotting. If you have pissed off Bud-lite, in my mind, you must be doing something right.

Over the past few seasons, the Tigers have flexed their once atrophied large market muscles. Detroit is a top 10 media market (Or top 11, depending on where you look), and for a solid decade, the Tigers carried themselves as if they were comparable to the Kansas City's (31st) or Cincinnati's (33rd) of the world. They also joined them as bottom feeders in the standings.

The Tigers were selling themselves, and especially the fans, short. Thank goodness that is no longer the case.

Do I feel bad for the true small market teams? A little, mostly towards the fans, but not all that much for the franchises themselves. For the most part, the small market owners of the world are, to put it bluntly, richer than sin. But they do have short arms when come to reaching for their wallets.

If you can't afford, or refuse to spend enough, to stay in the game, then spare your fans the grief, and just sell the team. Unfortunately, being a pro sports owner has such a huge cache', and is a boost to their considerable ego, that the bottom feeding owners would rather run the teams into the ground, than give up the perks of ownership.

I've never seen anyone go broke owning a big time pro sports franchise. We all know that they tend to greatly appreciate in value. So when I hear a MLB owner cry "Oh my God, we can't compete, there's nothing we can do because we're a small market!" yet he is richer than God himself, I can't take him seriously.

For example, the Royals David Glass, thanks to his Wal-Mart ties, has a net worth of more than $300 million, and bought the KC franchise for $96 million in 2000. 7 years later, the Royals are supposedly worth $282 million, and that was with the team becoming awful on the field. Pretty good ROI, don't you think?

Despite the inflated value of his team, Glass thinks of singability, above all else, in the amateur draft.The Royals fanbase should be furious with their front office for cheaping out on their draft picks.

Same goes for other hack owners, like small market poster boy Carl Pohlad of the Twins, who has a net worth over $2.6 BILLION, yet runs his team as if they live on poverty row. In actuality, the Twins have been one Hell of a good investment for the miserly Pohlad. He bought the Twinkies for the relative pittance of $44 million in 1984. They are now worth an estimated $288 million! That's well within the lower half of MLB, but nothing to sneeze at, either.

The cheapskate won't pay (Soon to be) free agent Johan Santana what the market rate is bound to be for a multiple Cy Young award winner, or ignore contract slotting, which would have allowed the Twins to possibly draft Santana's eventual replacement. (Because he is going to leave...)

Pohlad toes the MLB line, though he has deeper pockets than Scrooge McDuck, Hank Scorpio, and Daddy Warbucks combined. Please, I don't want to hear any "Woe is us" whining, from anyone other than frustrated fans...

With that sort of money available, the signability of a high school or college ballplayer should never, ever come into question. To a Pohlad or Glass, the $7+ million Ilitch paid high school phenom Rick Porcello is walking around money. Yet they just shake their heads, point fingers, and blame owners like Ilitch for their mostly self-made woes.

What those owners are only concerned about is maximizing their current profits, at the cost of being competitive in the future. Saving a few million on their draft picks now is going to hurt them dearly on the field, and at the gate. You just know we'll end up with more labor strife in a few years, because gazillionaire small market owners want to pocket, rather than invest back in the team, every God damn penny their teams make.

And who gets bent over? The fans.

As pissed off we Detroit fans once were with the Tigers blatantly pinching pennies, we should now appreciate their freer spending ways. Mike Ilitch and the Tigers will never spend, or even have, the stupid amounts of money available to a New York or Boston, but there is no reason they can't effectively compete at the level below. Especially when it comes to the amateur draft.

The Tigers are no longer "Penny wise and pound foolish," skimping at the minor league level while paying journeymen major league free agents much more money than they're worth. Let's hope the small market central division teams never figure that out...

Once again, Lynn Henning asks the "Burning questions," TWFE has even more answers

For the 2nd time in a week, the Detroit News' Tigers writer, Lynn Henning, dips into the "Burning questions" shtick. I felt compelled to answer the questions myself, turning this into a continuing shtick running feature for TWFE. Be prepared to cover the Craig Monroe situation in depth. Again...

Q: What's the story behind Craig Monroe's demise? Will he straighten out, or are the Tigers in a bind?

Henning: Here is one of the more complex cases from a 2007 season that has been anything but simple for the Tigers. Monroe should have been good for 25 home runs and a batting average somewhere in the .250-.275 range. Instead, at age 30, he is batting .220, with nine home runs and a miserable .269 on-base average, with 78 strikeouts in 277 at-bats heading into Wednesday night's game.

No question, he could find his old groove and become a sturdy second-half contributor. But how long can a team wait? The Tigers finally had to deal with reality and replace him in left field with Marcus Thames, at least when pitching matchups call for it.

Big Al: What's the story? Monroe is on the decline, and has been for 3 seasons. I went off on Monroe situation earlier today, and if he wants to remain on the roster, Monroe has to start hitting. Immediately.

I don't think the Tigers will give Monroe much more rope. It spoke volumes that Timo Perez was in the lineup against the Twins this afternoon. Volumes...

Q. So what happens to Monroe?

Henning: The Tigers will be reluctant to give up on him. He still has youth, he has power, and most of the time he plays capably on defense. The Tigers can't be sure that rookie outfielder Ryan Raburn is ready for the big leagues. Nor is 32-year-old Timo Perez, who has done a marvelous job at Triple-A Toledo, necessarily a better bet for this season and beyond, even with his left-hand bat.

Big Al: Monroe rides the pine, unless a favorable matchup against a left handed pitcher comes along. That's what happens. That's all that can happen, as he seems to have fallen out of favor with Jim Leyland.

Raburn and Perez might not be better options, but it appears that the Tigers are going to play them regardless, and find out for sure.

Q: So, they make Monroe a part-time outfielder and right-hand bat off the bench?

Henning: That's the safest route. How it is received by Monroe is another question. He is a proud, sensitive player who thrives on being a contributor. Sitting on the bench won't be an easy adjustment for him.

Big Al: If Monroe doesn't take to becoming a part time bench player, and rocks the clubhouse boat, he won't be a Tiger for much longer.

Dave Dombrowski pretty much gave away another player who had outlived his usefulness as a Tiger, Mike Maroth. I bet someone will be willing to take a chance on Monroe with a PTBNL, thinking that a change of scenery will help his ailing bat. Especially if the Tigers eat some of his contract. It might come down to that, the Tigers eating what's left of his 1 year deal.

Q: Can the Tigers trade him as part of a package for another outfielder -- maybe a left-hand hitter who can also play first base?

Henning: The market for Monroe is going to be exceedingly thin. This is another of those situations where fans assume a player is more valuable than the marketplace has determined him to be.

Big Al: Thin? Thinner than Karen Carpenter. The question is, who would want Monroe? A corner outfielder whose main value is in hitting home runs, but has stopped hitting home runs, has no trade value. Period.

As I said, the Tigers would have to give Monroe away. I'm guessing they'd be lucky to get minor league roster filler. An actual prospect is out of the question.

Q: How will Thames hold up if he plays more regularly? He hit .199 during the second half of the 2006 season.

Henning: He will win some ballgames, even if his batting average slides (.257 heading into Wednesday's game). He has game-breaking power that becomes more of a factor because of Thames' tremendous ratio of home runs to at-bats. He is simply a very good man to have in the lineup, and a hitter other pitchers have to be super-careful against.

Big Al: I could care less about Thames batting average, just his slugging percentage. Over a full season, Thames will hit 35 home runs, if only by accident. So what if he hits .220? A modern day Rob Deer still has value. More value than Craig Monroe, at the very least.

Q: Why doesn't Thames hit for greater average?

Henning: He is a pull-hitter in the extreme. Notice how many foul balls he hits down the third-base line. You can practically count on at least one per at-bat, almost always early in the count. If he hit to all fields in the manner of Magglio Ordonez, he would be an All-Star. But he is more comfortable -- and probably more lethal from a power standpoint -- with his personal pull-hitting style.

Big Al: Again, Thames batting average means absolutely nothing. So what if he's a dead pull hitter, as long as the home runs come, that's fine by me. Thames has a better HR/AB ration than Gary Sheffield. This season Thames goes yard every 14 AB's, compared to Sheff's 15. Not that bad of company to be keeping.

Q: Speaking of Ordonez, will he cool off during the second half?

Henning: Sure. He already has dropped 20 points from his batting average, although that .378 stuff wasn't going to last forever. He still hits the ball hard to all fields. But it would not be surprising to see him dip, maybe significantly, during the second half as fatigue takes its toll.

Big Al: Even though his average has dropped, Ordonez's bat won the 1st 2 games of the Twins series. Pretty much single handedly...

I'd be hard for Maggs not to cool off, as he was scorching hot before the All-Star break. Still, .360 is nothing to sneeze at. That .360 average is coming from your clean up hitter, which is almost unheard of. Lest it not be forgotten, Magglio is still on pace to have marvelous power stats at the end of the season.

To be honest, I'd be perfectly fine with Ordonez's average dropping, if he continues to turn on the ball as well as he did against the Twins. Magglio with a power stroke is more valuable that Magglio as a singles hitter. Which is what Maggs was when his average went into the ozone.

Q: Second-half thoughts on the Tigers' race with Cleveland and the Twins?

Henning: How the Tigers won Tuesday night's game was extraordinary, all because that is precisely the game Minnesota always wins against Detroit in the Metrodome. I thought the called third strike Nate Robertson got on Joe Mauer was the game-winning moment -- the sliver of luck the Twins normally have go their way.

As for Cleveland, how the Indians continue to win comeback games is more than incredible. Percentages and probabilities suggest it can't continue. How the Tigers have remained in first place in the face of those comebacks is even more amazing.

Big Al: The Tigers sweeping the Twins at the Hefty-Baggie-Homer Dome had to be demoralizing. Especially irking to them had to be that the Tigers won 3 1 run games. That was stunning to even the most rabid Tigers fan.

The Twins, at home mind you, which as been a Detroit house of horrors for 2 decades, couldn't beat the Tigers, and their iffy bullpen. Not even with Johan Santana on the mound.

The Twins need to get some offense before the trade deadline. They have to get at least 1 more bat, probably 2, to compete with the Tigers and Tribe.

As for the Indians? With solid starting pitching, a good bullpen, and an offense nearly as good as the Tigers, means they are in the race for the duration. Travis Hafner alone is capable of carrying the Tribe for long stretches. If Hafner and Grady Sizemore both get hot, look out.

But the Tigers winning their series against Cleveland, along with sweeping the BoSox and Twins, 3 of the best teams in baseball, let everyone know that Detroit is the the team to beat if you want to win the AL pennant.

Burning questions from a crazy Detroit sports weekend

It's being called "Black Sunday," as all 3 of Detroit's teams lost.

But the only loss that really meant anything was the Red Wings', as that made their series with the Ducks 1-1. The Pistons losing to the Bulls is just delaying the inevitable, the of type emotionless performance that we were all expecting them to have sometime during their playoff run. It just happened to be yesterday. As for the Tigers, they just had one of those crazy Baggiedome games where nothing goes right, the sort you just forget about right after the final out.

After a weekend of Detroit sports craziness, some questions were left unanswered. Till now...

Will will we ever see Virgil Vasquez in a Tiger uniform again?

The Twins shelled poor Virgil for 9 hits and 6 runs less than 3 innings. Not an auspicious major league debut. So it might be quite a while before we see Vasquez again. But one game does not a career make. Let's hope Vasquez learns from his cup of coffee in the bigs, and makes it back to Detroit.

After seeing Vasquez struggle mightily in his first ever start, the best news Tigers fans could have heard was that phenom Andrew Miller's first double A start was a rousing success. The one question none of us can answer is, "When will Miller be called up?" I'm guessing it's going to be sooner than later.

How badly did the Tigers embarrass themselves on the worldwide leader's airwaves last night?

Less than Joe Morgan manages to every Sunday night. Even though the Tigers were given a thorough whipping, it was just 1 game in a 162 game season, folks. Games like these happen to even the best teams during a long season. Even Jim Leyland knew it was going to just one of those games, and threw in the towel early, if you go by his wholesale substituting.

To be honest, I'm thrilled beyond belief that the Tigers took 2 of 3 from the Twins, especially in that house of horrors known as the Baggiedome. Any trip to Minnesota where you win the series is a successful one.

What happened to all the Tigers' supposed pitching depth?

Some of it was traded to the Yankees for Gary Sheffield. The rest still isn't quite ready. But to say the Tigers don't have depth is unfair. Think about it, how many teams could bounce back from such a tough 1-2 injury punch as the Tigers have this season? Most teams would be happy to just tread water. The Tigers, on the other hand, have gone on a winning streak!

To still lead the Central division after arguably losing both your best starting and relief pitcher says volumes about the Tigers' talent and fortitude. Having The Gambler and Joel Zumaya return mid season will be a huge boost to the Tigers morale, and even more importantly, talent level.

Why are the Pistons so God damned confounding?

If I could figure out in advance what nights the Pistons would decide to take off, I'd make a killing in Vegas. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, it's just how they roll. The Pistons have rarely taken the easier road. Personally, I'd bet the farm that the Pistons close out the series on Tuesday. They normally bounce back quite well after one of their frustratingly blasé performances.

Is Flip Murray still rising after posterizing a helpless Kirk Hinrich?

Holy shit, who knew Flip had such mad hops? It was one of the few emotional moments in a game which the Pistons showed little. Too bad the only defense Hinrich had was to give Murray a shot in the nether regions. Just look at the screen grab that was posted at The Fanhouse.


Hinrich successfully went for the proverbial cock punch. He must cribbing cheap shot notes from Bruce Bowen. Seeing that now puts Murray's glaring reaction at Hinrich, which pissed off Bulls fans, in context.

What were the NHL replay judges looking at on the 3rd period goal that tied Red Wings - Ducks at 3-3?

Considering the time of night of Travis Moen's third-period goal, probably "The Family Guy." They sure as Hell weren't watching the instant replay. Dominik Hasek made the stop, then was shoved / pitchforked / bulldozed into the goal. Everyone but the replay judges saw it that way. I hope they enjoyed the wacky antics of Peter Griffin.

Are the Anaheim Ducks the better team?

Going from what my eyes are telling me, yes. When play is 5 on 5, the Ducks have dominated the Wings for long stretches. The Red Wings have been making hay with their special teams, and they will have to continue to cash in on the power play and stifle the Ducks while on the penalty kill, in order to win this series.

I'm not saying that the Red Wings won't win this series, even if they aren't the better team. If there is one thing we've learned from watching the NHL playoffs over the past few years, it's that the better team doesn't always win. The more opportunistic team wins. More than a little luck helps too. The Red Wings of 2003, 2004, and 2006 would concur. This series is far from over, and it will go 7 games.

What about the Lions?

What about them? They still blow.