Friday, October 03, 2008

10 things you know I know I know, you know?

10. I'm not going to get overtly political here, but I have only one thing to say about John McCain's campaign pulling out of Michigan. If this now means we no longer have to suffer through an endless amount hateful, pushing the absolute borders of the truth, pound you over the head with the sledgehammer of spin, all out negative advertising from BOTH parties, then THANK FUCKING GOD! I've had more than my fill of political advertising, of any kind, thank you very much.

Michigan being considered a "battleground" state (till yesterday afternoon, anyway) meant both parties were pummeling we Michiganders about the head and face with with political ad after political ad during every local break on TV and radio. (you ex-pats should consider yourselves lucky!) Personally, I find these ads insulting. If you make your decision on which candidate to vote for based on TV ads, you're a moron. A fucking moron.

No matter if you are a Democrat, Republican or independent, please do a little research before you vote. I honestly think people invest more time into which new TV series they are going to watch, than whom is going to get their vote. It's shameful more people don't care about the political process, unpleasant as it may sometimes be.

That's as political as I'll allow myself to get... Let's talk sports.

9. You know the MSM is scraping the bottom of the barrel for ideas when you read the "bad team in one sport should talk to the good team's GM in another sport" piece. The Freep has gone over the top with this tripe.

First, Jamie Samuelson wrote the Lions need to hire Red Wings' GM Ken Holland. (though I do agree with his assessment that Holland is the best GM working in sports) Then Michael Rosenberg (who should really know better, as he's the best columnist in town) penned a piece saying the Lions should hire Pistons' GM Joe Dumars as the porn 'stached goon's replacement as Lions' president.

What? No love for Dave Dombrowski? Nah, I'm sure the Pizza Man has him on double secret probation after this fiasco of a season.

With the DD shout out out of the way, I have one comment for the both of them...

Get. A. Fucking. Grip.

Personally, I don't want the poisonous Lions, who destroy careers, not make them, anywhere near two of the best run franchises, in not only Detroit, but in all of sports. And who's to say their managerial skills would transfer over to another sport, anyway? We've actually had an example here in the D. Bo Schembechler's tenure as Tigers' president could best be described as an EPIC FAIL. Sure, he was handicapped by the insane ownership of Tom Monaghan, but Bo didn't distinguish himself, either. His years are best remembered only for the firing of God Ernie Harwell.

Yes, I know it wasn't Bo's decision, and he took the heat for both WJR and the Tigers. But no matter who made the decision, it was MASSIVELY bungled by everyone involved.

I'm a little off track, but the point is made. Should the Lions ask the Red Wings and Pistons for advice? Sure, it couldn't hurt. But attempting to hire a non football guy to run the team makes as much sense as a TV broadcaster taking over...

8. Speaking of Rosenberg, during today's interview with The Big Lead, he nails what is so good about living in the metro Detroit area.

Yet many of the people who live in southeast Michigan absolutely love the area. There is a ton of stuff to do, especially in the summer, and the cost of living is reasonable. There are two things you need to understand about Detroit. One is that it’s not a great place to visit, but it’s a great place to live. Once you know the landscape – once you know which bars to hit, where to catch a concert, where to sit outside and have a good meal – you’ll have a great time. The other thing you need to understand is that it is not cool to live here, so anybody who is preoccupied with being cool stays the hell away, leaving a vibrant, exciting part of the country for the rest of us. There are very few phonies in Detroit.


I love it when Rosenberg, talking about the time involved in writing his book about Bo and Woody, takes a back handed slap at local writers who spend more time spewing hot air on the radio, than writing a decent column.

But the difference is that I didn’t have to be in a radio studio for four hours every day when I should have been in the Tigers’ clubhouse or at Pistons practice.

Fucking word. He doesn't name names, but I will. The Little Fella, Wojo, Sharp, Foster, Caputo and The Worst Columnist in America.

As usual when TBL talks to MSM'ers, the interview is an excellent read.

7. I have to mention another columnist. Good friend of TWFE, and someone I consider a friend, though we've never met face to face (he's an internet buddy!), Mack Avenue Tigers' Kurt Mensching, was named top sports columnist (for his newspaper class as determined by circulation) by the Michigan Press Association. Here's the scoop from his newspaper, The Mining Journal:

The Mining Journal won three awards in the 2008 Michigan Press Association Better Newspaper Contest, including a first place for sports columns.

Mining Journal sports writer Kurt Mensching won the top award in the category for three columns on topics as diverse as the beginning of baseball season, Northern Michigan University football and high school sportsmanship at the Superior Dome.

Judges said Mensching's writing was "funny" and "stood out as very clean."

Unlike my writing, which is highly snarky and stands out as fucking filthy.

Seriously, job well done, sir. The Detroit blogosphere is as proud as punch!

But now that you're done winning awards and honors and stuff, get back to work on MAT, stat!

6. There are few sure things in life. Death, taxes, every Wobb Parker column will be awful, and the Wisconsin Badgers football team being total and utter frauds.

Last Saturday, I was thisGoddamnclose to writing off the Wolverines' season during what was possibly the worst half of football ever played on this, or any, planet.

To paraphrase The Comic Book Guy: "That was, without a doubt, the worst. Half. EVER. Rest assured, I was on the internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world."

But the Badgers, as is their wont, couldn't put an imploding Wolverine team away in the 1st half. Hell, Wisky should have been up 35-0, instead of only 19-0, at the half.

We all know what happened next. Michigan finds a rudimentary offense, the defense became scary good, and the Badgers ended up losing another heartbreaker to the not-so-mighty Wolverines.

Wisconsin was, is, and always will be, pretenders. Why should you think any different when they couldn't beat what still could be the worst Michigan team, in not only years, but in decades?

5. As for Sparty, they will go as far as Heisman candidate Javon Ringer takes them, maybe even the Rose Bowl. Really? Really! There's no juggernauts in the Big 10, so why not Sparty in Pasadena?

But if my math is correct, Ringer is on track for approximately 875 carries this season, so I expect body parts to be falling off of him by late October. That best not happen, as Ringer can win games. The only thing Spartans QB Brian Hoyer can do is lose them.

4. I have the White Sox-Devil Rays playoff game on at the moment. I sooooo thought it would be the Tigers representing the Central instead. Now that I've once again had the taste of October baseball, I need more. Christ, this season blew.

The Tigers won 88 games in 2007, which we all thought, well, sucked. But 88 wins would have won the division this year, so it's all relative. But there's no defending what happened this season. Which is why Jim Leyland better can his "I want an extension" bullshit, ASAP. He was as awful as his team in 2008. The Marlboro Man is on double secret probation, too.

3. What's the only thing worse than watching teams other than the Tigers in the MLB playoffs? Having to endure the ENDLESS promos for "FrankTV" during the MLB playoffs. For some stupid reason, TBS believes running a "FrankTV" promo every fucking half inning is going to make us want to watch.

Memo to TBS: At this point, after having Frank Caliendo shoved down my throat for two consecutive Octobers, I'd rather stab forks in my eyes than watch "FrankTV." Hey, it may be the funniest show on TV, but I don't care. Force feeding me more promos than McCain/Obama ads I see on a daily basis combined is only doing one thing. IT'S PISSING ME THE FUCK OFF! ENOUGH! STOP! NO MORE!

Please, no more...I give up. I'll do anything. Just stop with the "FrankTV" ads.

2. There is one redeeming quality to TBS's broadcasts, though. Curtis Granderson. He's a natural broadcaster. Grandy's going to have the networks throwing big money contracts at him when his career is over. I hope that won't be for another 10-12 years or so...

As bad as it looks for the Tigers today, not many teams have as young and talented of a core to build around as Granderson, Miguel Cabrera and Justin Verlander. Which is why Dombrowski is getting a mulligan for this past season. But he's getting only one.

1. At the top of the Freep's online sports page is the following headline:

"Lions' Ramirez will get his first offensive start Sunday"

YESYESYESYES! Why the excitement, you ask? I can finally use "It's just Manny being Manny" during my live blog this Sunday. I can see it now...

The ref flips on his mic, and says, "Holding, number 63!" Then I get to write "Holding? Hell, it's just Manny being Manny!" Good times, good times.

Hey, what of it? I need stuff like this to get through what's going to be another Lions loss.


  1. Ringer has been a beast so far, but Dantonio is either going to have to mix up how Ringer gets his touches, (more screens, toss plays) or give 10-15 of his carries to one of the backups.

    And does McCain pulling out of MI just leave a lot of open airtime for even shittier local political ads?

  2. Thanks, Al!

    And I know you're right. There's a lot to blog about and I'm not blogging worth crap! Don't take a week off or the next day and the next day and the next day just become even easier not to blog. I have to break that habit soon!

  3. "Personally, I find these ads insulting. If you make your decision on which candidate to vote for based on TV ads, you're a moron. A fucking moron."

    Do you have any idea just how LARGE the "fucking moron" demographic is in this country?

  4. Cliff, you're exactly right. Ringer was held in check today, and Sparty had their hands too full with Iowa. If Kirk Ferentz doesn't out think himself on those 4th down calls, Iowa very easily could have won. Hell, they probably should have won.

    Kurt, you're welcome! Now get to work! No more dilly dallying on MAT!

    Jenius, I'm all too aware of the "fucking moron" demographic in this country, and it scares the living SHIT out of me.