Monday, January 22, 2007

Why I hate Peyton Manning, and other championship Sunday musings

Is it just me, or was I the only person who found himself rooting for the Patriots last night? It was a great game, and Indy deserves all the credit in the world for coming back to win against such a battle tested team as the Pats. But I was disappointed in the result. Yes, I was disappointed that the big market Patriots, the 00's team of the decade, lost.

To be honest, when it comes to my feelings in regard to the Indianapolis Colts and the Patriots, it's 6 of 1, half dozen of the other. In other words, as a Lions fan, I can't help but be insanely jealous of the success of both franchises.

As for why I ended up rooting the way I did, most of it came down to Tom Brady and his Michigan Wolverines ties. That's even though he has become the iconic "Tom Terriffic," the man whose picture Bill Simmons rubs one out to every night and twice on Sunday.

Despite his massive success, Brady still comes off as regular Joe, or about as regular as a multi-millionaire, good looking, model dating, SNL hosting, Super Bowl winning QB can be. But Bill Belichick, on the other hand... Even though I'll admit that's he's a great coach, he's about as likable as Dick Cheney, with an even pricklier personality, and a much worse wardrobe. Let alone the disgusting fact that Belichick is an adulterer who helped break up a marriage, which in my mind makes him an absolute douchebag.

As for the Colts, Tony Dungy seems like a nice guy who has persevered through some tough times, both personally and professionally. He's a damn good coach, more than a bit holier than thou (I'm not a fan of those who "Thank God" after a win), but without the hubris of a Belichick. Peyton Manning, on the other hand... He's a willing victim of media overexposure, or as the GF told me last night, "Manning's a commercial whore! He endorses everything!"

I'm not sure I can take 2 more weeks of Manning being fluffed by the media, and you know it's going to happen. On top of the MSM man-love for Manning, we will continually be pummeled over the head with Mannning's ads for Gatorade, DirecTv,and that damn MasterCard ad with the,"They're not booing, they're saying "MOOOOVERS!" line. Enough already of that gomer with the fivehead hawking crap on my television, please.

So the thought of having to endure everything that is Peyton Manning overload, which has already begun, by the way, was the tipping point. The obnoxious ubiquitousness of Manning overtly pimping everything under the sun overrode my utter contempt for Belichick.

I'm warning you now, by the time the Super Bowl finally kicks off, you are not going to want to hear the 2 words "Peyton Manning" ever again. EVER again.

As for the NFC game, I'm still attempting to wrap my mind around the fact that a Bears team with Rex Grossman under center is going to the Super Bowl. Rex Grossman? Grossman makes Jon Kitna look like Tom Brady!

So a one dimensional team, the Chicago Bears, won the NFC. The Bears are a throwback team. Well, more like a backwards lateral team, as you only have to go back to the 2000 Baltimore Ravens. Win with defense, and don't F yourself over on offense. Unfortunately for the Lions, they can't win with defense, and do F themselves over on offense.

The Bears are direct competitors with the Motor City Kitties. They somehow went all the way to the Super Bowl, and did so with an extremely flawed team. Which, as a Lions fan, brings a question to mind. Could the Lions build a team with a defense so dominating, they win despite having a below average (Or worse) offense? (Or for that matter, vice versa, win with a Martz era Rams style offense and average defense?) Could the Lions EVER put together a run similar to the Bears'?

No. Never. Can't happen. Don't make me laugh. Are you insane?!

That's how far away our Detroit Lions are from being a contender. We fans can't even envision a scenario where they are in contention.


  1. "They're not booing, they're saying "MOOOOVERS!" is such a dumb line, yet I find myself chuckling each time!

  2. I'm thrilled that someone else knows what a fivehead is. Bravo.

  3. Does Pryton have a sore vagina tonoght?

  4. Payton is a girl

  5. Payton will go down with a knee injury week 4 and he will never make a comeback.