Answering Mack Avenue Tigers' semi-rhetorical questions!

Just like last season, with the Tigers playing their first game of the season on Fox Sports Detroit Plus, Charter is screwing up the feed, and giving me nothing but a black screen. God damn Charter still hates me!

As I'm stuck listening to the Tigers game, and Jim Price's heavy breathing, over terrestrial radio, and watching an absolutely meaningless Pistons game on the main FSD feed with the sound turned down, I figured it would be a good time to post. But what?

I've been waiting for a round of Lynn Henning's burning questions, but the News hasn't started their weekly Tigers Extra section, so no questions. Then I remembered over at Mack Avenue Tigers, in a fit of pique, Kurt posted several meant to be rhetorical questions in frustration over the Tigers start.

Boy howdy, I got me some questions!

So let's answer some of Lynn Henning's burning questions of Kurt Mensching's semi-rhetorical questions!

1. WHAT THE SAM HELL IS GOING ON??!

I DON'T KNOW! I HONESTLY DON'T KNOW! GOD AS MY WITNESS, I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA! THE TIGERS ARE CURSED? MIKE ILITCH IS BEING PUNISHED BY THE KARMA GODS?

In other words, your guess is as good as mine.

(Actually, Kurt has fessed up, and is taking full blame! His post explains everything!)

2. At what point is manager Jim Leyland’s job in question as he leads a $138M winless team he repeatedly claims “isn’t ready” and states, “That’s the manager’s fault.”

It won't happen this season, if ever. Leyland and Dave Dombrowski go too far back for either to do anything as rash as Leyland's leaving the Tigers under any circumstances. I have to admit thoughts of Sparky Anderson's sabbatical/leave of absence/bailing in the middle of the 1989 season have run through my mind. Same for Leyland walking on the Rockies when things took a turn for the worse after 1 season.

The manager gets too much credit when a team is winning. Conversely, the manager gets too much of the blame when they lose, and the losing could soon reach EPIC proportions. If the Tigers can't pull out of their death spiral soon, anything could happen. Anything.

3. When does a World Series season off to a bad start become a World Series season in peril?

Sparky used to say "Give me 45 games" to know what he had. He also said (paraphrasing), "You win 60, you lose 60, it's what you do with the other 42 that decides your season." Sparky also spoke English like it was his 2nd language, so take it as you may.

So we are a long way off from saying the World Series is in peril. But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't already worried.

At the very worst, if the Tigers are hovering around .500 at the All-Star break, I think they'll get themselves in the playoff hunt. Hell, they may have righted the ship by that time, and playing to expectations. Thus, I'm withholding full judgment on the season till early July. It's still too early to go off half cocked, even though I'd really, really, really like to... (In other words, I reserve to right to change my mind at any time, and go ape shit regarding the Tigers!)

4. Further, when does a World Series season in peril become a season with no hope of a World Series?

If they are struggling by the time the All-Star game rolls around, double digits back of 1st place, I'd feel safe in writing them off. But baseball is a funny game. The Tigers could, just as easily as they have suffered through a 7 game losing streak, whip around and run off a 7-8 game winning streak. Especially once they get past their gauntlet of an April schedule.

The worst thing to happen with the Tigers was starting the season against a pair of teams that seem to have their number, the Royals and White Sox. They probably would have won a couple of games against another team.

5. And finally, what if they were never really a World Series caliber team?

Then we'll be watching a non-World Series caliber team for at least the next 2-3 seasons. There's several older players signed to BIG money contracts (Ordonez, Sheffield, Polanco, Guillen, to name a few) that would be damn hard to trade.

We'll also spend the final months of the season second guessing Dombrowski (and ourselves, for that matter, as every one of us liked how the Tigers were constructed) for putting so much faith in Fernando Rodney, trading for Edgar Renteria and Dontrelle Willis (I'll always say getting Cabrera was worth the cost. Any cost), and having the 2nd highest payroll in baseball for such a minuscule return.

6. Will this nightmare ever end?

It's not looking good for tonight's game being the breakthrough, as the BoSox have a 2-0 lead in the 3rd inning.

So to answer the question, if tonight is any indication, this nightmare will continue for quite some time. The Tigers are still not hitting. There was another error (The second in two days, after going errorless for over a year) by Polanco. Bonderman walking in a run. Guillen still clueless with his footwork at 1st base, unable to stay on the bag on a Cabrera throw. Runners stranded in scoring position in 2 of the first 3 innings. It's just more of the same!

It's as bad as...as...2003. Yes, I said it! The 2008 Tigers are playing as if they are the awful 2003 Tigers. Jesus...

7. Which Tigers are most easily tradable for quality prospects?

As we are talking hypotheticals...

I hate to say it, but Jeremy Bonderman. Considering the high prices free agent pitching commanded this past off season, his contract is signed long-term to a contract, and pitching is at a premium. With his upside (Though I'm beginning to wonder if we'll ever see it) and relative youth (He's only 25), I'm sure you could get a very nice haul for him. Could it happen if the Tigers continue to disappoint? I wouldn't rule anything out if, God forbid, the ugliness continues.

(OH MY GOD! RENTERIA WITH A 2 RUN DOUBLE! TIE GAME IN THE 4TH! PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE LET THAT BE THE PLAY THAT TURNS AROUND THE SEASON! THAMES GOES YARD! 4-2 TIGERS! IS THIS THE NIGHT?)

Bonus question:

8. SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE SAM HELL IS GOING ON??!!?

We're living in "Bizarro World?" God/Buddha/Allah/The Flying Spaghetti Monster/Zeus/God Shammgod hates Tiger fans?

My best guess? We'll wake up tomorrow, and just like Pam Ewing on Dallas, see Bobby Ewing taking a shower, and we'll find out it was all a dream. It was only a dream. A nightmare to be sure, but only a dream...