Wednesday, December 12, 2007

The Detroit Lions as seen thru the music of...Bob Seger

Good friend of TWFE, Awful Chief, informed me a couple of days ago that he thought that KSK had "borrowed" my format of "As seen thru the music of" posts with their Led Zeppelin/NFL version. I'll just say that in blogging, imitation the sincerest form if flattery. And it's not as matching sports figures to media is that original of an idea anyway. But yeah, it did seem awful similar.

But that's neither here nor there. Awful Chief's comment did get me to thinking that I'm overdue for another one of those posts...

The first concert I ever attended, more years ago than I care to mention, was a Bob Seger show at Cobo Arena. I'll just say it was in support of an album that has "Moves" in the title. OK, I admit it, I'm fucking old.

But I digress...

If you grew up in Detroit, you are a Bob Seger fan. No ifs, ands or buts about it. The man is a Detroit icon, if there ever was one. Back in the day, when album oriented rock ruled FM radio, Seger ruled the airwaves, as a staple on stations like WRIF, W4, and WLLZ. Actually, he was a staple on Detroit rock stations well before he broke nationally.

Between never leaving the area, allowing "Like a Rock" to be licensed by Chevy to sell trucks, the only reason being to help out autoworkers, to his life long fandom of Detroit sports, becoming a member of the "Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, " Seger has always been a blue collar hero in the D.

Who cares if he sings the occasional ballad? Seger can rock with the best...

As I haven't used a local act in this series of music based posts, I figure I'd start with the most iconic of them all, Bob Seger.The Detroit Lions are iconic in their own way, a very bad way. But iconic is iconic, even if it involves being known as legendary losers, right?

So one icon meets another, the Lions as seen thru the music of Detroit legend, Bob Seger.

The Detroit Lions: "Ship of Fools" - Does this need any explanation?

William Clay Ford: "Turn the Page" - Lions fans have been praying that WCF would "Turn the Page" on the Matt Millen era for going on 7 years.

Bill Ford Jr: "The Aftermath" - Junior is the one who encouraged his father to hire Matt Millen. The aftermath of that hire has not been pretty...

Stan Kwan: "Travellin' Man" - What the Lions special teams coach will be the end of the season.

Mike Martz: "You'll Accomp'ny Me" - What Kwan will be telling Martz at season's end.

Rod Marinelli: "Miami" - Where the Sarge is threatening to ship players who don't buy into his "Pound Like a Rock" philosophy. It doesn't seem to be working, unfortunately...

Matt Millen: "I've got Time" - As if 7 years isn't enough...

Jon Kitna: "Fire Down Below" - What is the one thing our favorite bible thumping QB fears more than God, opposing defenses, or his leaky offensive line? The "Fire Down Below." Get it? Uh, that's a reference to Hell, people!

Shaun Rogers: "Roll Me Away" - Offensive lines no longer need to actually block the Lions out if shape/obese/roly poly/chubby/fat ass defensive tackle, they just roll him him out of the way.

Roy Williams: "Beautiful Loser" - Well, I have to admit that Roy is a handsome handsome man! What are you looking at? Hey, I don't swing that way...Not that's there's anything wrong with that!

Kalimba Edwards: "The Fire Inside" - Edwards has totally lost his. If he ever had it to begin with...

DeWayne White: "Ramblin' Gamblin' Man" - Think he's thinking twice about his gamble in signing a free agent deal with the Detroit Lions?

Jason Hanson: "Lookin' Back" - The longest tenured Lion has to wonder why he's stayed all these seasons, as he looks back on the carnage that has been the Lions over the past 16 years.

Calvin Johnson: "Katmandu" - After one season with the Lions, when asked if he'd like to return next year, CJ replied, "I figure, baby, I've got nothing to lose! I'm tired of being blue! That's why I'm going to Katmandu! Up to the mountains where I'm going to! If I ever get out of here, That's what I'm gonna do!"

George Foster and Tatum Bell: "Get out of Denver" - You think George "What's the snap count?" Foster and Tatum "He's still on the team?" Bell hope Bob Seger would write a sequel called "Get Back to Denver?" How about "Never Leave Denver?" OK, that was damn obvious and too easy.

Aveion Cason : "Makin' Thunderbirds" - What Cason would be doing now if not, for whatever God damn reason, Martz hadn't taken a shine to him.

Fernando Bryant: "Shakedown" - What Bryant essentially did in getting a undeservedly huge free agent deal out of Millen years ago.

Jeff Backus: "Good for Me" - When he was given an totally undeserved monster contract by Millen a few years ago, what else could Backus say, but, "Good for Me!" Jeff, it's been bad for us!

Damion Woody: "Stealer" - In 2004 Millen signed Woody to a 6 year, $31 million contract that included a $9 million signing bonus. Can you think of a more fitting song?

Cory Redding: "U.M.C. (Upper Middle Class)" - The defensive tackle with no sacks in 2007 signed a 7 year, $49 million contract with a $13 million signing bonus last off season. He's no longer "Upper Middle Class." Thanks to Matt Millen, he's fucking rich!

Lions fans: "Still the Same" - Does this need any explanation?

Big Al: "Tryin' to Live My Life Without You" - I've tried again and again to ditch my Lions fandom. As much as I try, it never works. I keep coming back for more abuse. I'm going to head off and cry now...


  1. Don't forget WABX. Okay, so this is a stretch, but I always really liked (still do) "Her Strut":

    Sometimes they'll want to leave her
    Just give up and leave her
    But they would never play that scene

    I've been like that every season, for the most part.

  2. I should have thrown the ABX Air Aces in there paavo. Loved the free form style of WABX, definitely a pioneering AOR station.

    Damn, that lyric works perfectly! And now I have the guitar riff of "Her Strut" stuck in head!

  3. Nicely done. I'm just jealous you were there when Live Bullet was recorded. BUT, it was recorded (partly) on my Birthday.

    Sadly, I missed it. I do have a consolation: I was at the first concert ever held at the Joe.