I weep for what has happened to our society...

...A society that worships at the ground of EA Sports, and their Madden franchise. I watched this jaw dropping video (If you read "The Big Lead," you may have already seen this) wondering what in the Hell has happened to the youth of our once great nation...



I'm glad to see that there are others like me, who refuse to trudge along with the unwashed (As I'm sure they are, thanks to playing Madden nonstop since midnight) masses. Reading the following comment in my last Madden post by Andrew allows me to think that there is some reason to believe that all is not lost for the youth of America...

I bought Madden 07 for $30 a few weeks before 08 was set to come out and the nerds at EB Games looked at me like I was insane. Yes, I want this game because it's 30 bucks cheaper than the one you're going to buy in about a month, and I get to go home and play a NEW game now, while you sit at home holding your dick.

After watching the video, I think that most of those shown waiting in line for Madden do exactly as Andrew says...

It also has me pondering if any of these guys have played the game at any sort of organized level. Pop Warner? Junior high? High school? Even on a sandlot? Because I honestly wonder...

I got to learn and love football by actually playing it on the field, rather than sitting in front of a big screen TV memorizing "Attributes" and "Hot routes."

Despite what my ranting would have you believe, I have nothing against playing Madden. Like any other red-blooded American male, I love video games too.

But to treat it as a religion, as these guys do? Have they not heard of the term, "In moderation?" Why wear team jerseys, like a priest wears his collar, while waiting in line? Do you want to end up like the the 44 year old porn 'stache wearing Madden fan interviewed in the video, who says he doesn't work, and does nothing but play Madden? How many of these clowns would seriously consider buying a Madden championship ring? Holy mother of God, a RING?

Come on guys. Get at least a semblance of a life. And that's coming from someone who has admitted in this blog that I don't have much of one myself...

All I can say is the doofs shown in the video need one thing. To get laid. And good luck in the attempt, as they are going to need it.

Madden NFL 08 hits the streets at midnight...

...and why should I care? Because it means I can pick up a used copy of Madden 2007 for under 15 bucks.

I'm an old school gamer, dammit! I'll school your PS3 ass! Intellivison was the bee's knees!
I played Madden against the Kaiser! What time does Matlock come on!?

You may think you're going to read the rants of an aging video game Luddite curmudgeon, but that's far from the case. I'm an old school gamer. Been one for over 30 years.

My first game system was Pong back in the 70's. It was in stunning black & white, and we LIKED it! (I also walked 5 miles uphill to school, wore an onion on my belt, and wasn't allowed to drink water during 2 a days, and we LIKED it! Kids today...)

It could play handball too. The 70's weren't the damn Stone Ages, you know...

I spent hour upon hour with my Mattel Intellivison, and then bonded with my Colecovision. Both were much better systems than the ubiquitous Atari 2600. Plus I'm left handed, and the fire button is on the wrong side for me...

I was never a Nintendo fan boy, missing out on the NES and SNES years as I was busy doing what 20-somethings do, like starting a career, getting married, and drinking.

But I received a Sega Genesis from the then wife for Christmas in the early 90's, and I jumped back into gaming. That was also when I got my first exposure to the Madden franchise, with Madden '94. I loved it, as you could actually play full seasons with real NFL teams and rosters. By the way, Barry Sanders was unstoppable.

Barry Sanders was to Madden 94 as Bo Jackson was to Tecmo Bowl .
You couldn't stop him, and you couldn't hope to contain him!

I've played Madden on and off ever since, but I fell off the gaming wagon again when life got in the way in the late 90's, missing out on the PS1 years. But jumping back into gaming after buying a PS2 when the prices finally got reasonable, ($250 was my sweet spot, around 2001-ish. I'm now on my 2nd PS2) I began to play Madden again. But I haven't bought a Madden release since '02 edition. For good reason...

I became a fan of the competition. I bought a copy of NFL 2K5. Blasphemous, right? Not in my mind.

Why? Because it was $30 cheaper! I have much more loyalty to my wallet than I ever would for EA and John Madden. (It's also a damn good game, just as good as Madden, and I've played the Hell out of it)

If the 2K games could hit the streets with a $19.95 price point brand new, I couldn't see spending top dollar for a game that was basically the same thing. In fact, I'm still playing NFL 2K5, when I feel the need for a little football video gaming.

But it's more than just the money that keeps me from buying Madden every year. Well, to be honest, a lot of it is about the money, but there's a few other good reasons...

Unlike the Madden sheep, I don't feel the need to have updated rosters, as I could care less if I have the correct 3rd string running back when I'm playing as the Jacksonville Jaguars. With game systems having memory cards and hard drives, and the ability to go online, couldn't EA just sell, or make available for download, the updated rosters for the completists of the world? No, as that makes too much sense, and would cut into their cash cow.

I'm never in the mood to get my ass handed to me 100-3, and be trash talked to boot, by a profanity spewing 15 year old who obsesses over Madden 12 hours a day, so online play isn't for me.

I don't want the latest questionable "Improvement" in game play, as it takes me forever to master all the button combos as it is. I never understood the gamer's need for minimal improvements in game play, as it's nothing more than a cash grab by EA. And it can be argued that often the "Improvements" EA makes aren't improvements at all, but only change for the sake of bullshit change.

Most of all, I really don't appreciate to being bent over, then anally raped, while having my pocket picked of $50+ by Electronic Arts, a monopolistic corporation who said, "If we can't beat 'em, we'll outspend 'em, so we'll buy exclusive rights from the NFL, and force 2K Sports to go away."

Let alone there's the fact I don't have a spare $400-$600 laying around to buy a next generation system, either a Xbox 360, or a PS3. Thank goodness for small favors, as then I'd be paying $60+ to be bent over by EA.

Even though I don't have the slightest idea what the video game bearing my name looks like,
give me all your money! BOOM!

I guess if you don't mind being led around the nose by a corporation that only cares about wringing every last stinking dime out of gamers, go ahead and spend your hard earned cash on the latest entry of the Madden franchise.

Personally, I'm more than happy to wait for the inevitable price drop, and even then, I'm not sure I'll drop my cash on the line.

Screw Madden, and screw EA. I'm off to cruise eBay, see what Intellivison's are going for nowadays. Now THAT was a video game system...

This weeks sign of the apocalypse: iPhone insanity

As Justin Verlander is just having one of those games, as he couldn't find the strike zone even if you gave him a map, GPS, Google Earth, and a bloodhound trained to find home plate, allow me to go off on a non-sports tangent. Or more correctly, a rant...

I've been watching the jaw droppingly intense Apple iPhone insanity all day. If you read the tech blogs at all, the "Jesus Phone" dominated their posting for most of the week, and has reached a fever pitch today. The MSM has jumped in feet first, national and local, interviewing people who have so much time on their hands, they can afford to que up for a God damn cell phone.

This phone will make you smarter, sexier, richer, cooler, and guarantees you'll get laid, if you believe God Steve Jobs

Admittedly, it's a gorgeous, high tech God damn cell phone, but it's a God damn cell phone all the same.

I find it hard to believe that someone would wait in line for 8, 12, 24, or more hours just for the privilege of spending over 600 bones on a piece of 1st generation technology. Then again, I think it's insane to wait in line for anything for that length of time, be it concert tickets, a movie, a sporting event. You name it, I refuse to stand in line for it.

I never understood the rush to buy/watch something the first day it's available. I never see a movie the first weekend it opens. (I love fighting rude crowds, and sitting in the first row with loud as hell teenagers) I never buy a video game/album/DVD when it's first released, especially at full price. ($50+ for Madden? No f'n way. I'll buy it used, or wait for the $30 price cut a few months down the line) I'll never buy the latest technology in it's 1st generation. (Thank God I didn't buy a Betamax)

Look at the schmucks that waited in line for hours, if not days, for a Sony PS3. A few months later, those systems are piled up in the stores like so much cordwood. Those that bought a PS3 hoping to turn a profit either had to sell them at face value, sheepishly return it to the store, or God forbid, keep the PS3 and actually play it.

If you were so desperate that you actually paid scalper's prices for a video game system, when they were readily available a month later, well, you're a idiot. Patience is a virtue for a reason.

Unfortunately, you can't talk sense to the early adopters. They must have the latest and greatest, even though the latest and greatest won't work as nearly as well as the item they currently have. As cool as the Jesus Phone is, you know it's going to be just like any other 1st gen appliance. Expensive, fragile and buggy.

In fact, I'll venture to say that there's only 3 types of people who would buy an iPhone today, tomorrow, next week, or next month. You're either a crazy gadget freak (If you got the cash, more power to you), you are trying to one up the Jones' (Who owns last month's latest and greatest smart phone), or you're trying to cash in on iPhone frenzy, and will hope to sell the thing on eBay at a massive markup. (I hope you lose money on the deal, you vulture)

WWJD? He'd buy an iPhone, of course! Even He would want to be smarter, sexier, richer, cooler, and get some...

Thinking about it, there is 1 more iPhone buyer. The Apple fanboy, who will buy anything Steve Jobs tells them to. If it's priced at a premium, when something else can do the same job less expensively, but not as stylishly, it must be an Apple.

Personally, I'd love to have an iPhone. Who wouldn't? But I'm willing to wait till the price drops to a point where I don't have to give up eating for a couple of months to be able to pay for it.

Hmm, what to do with my cash? Pay the rent, eat, or...I know, I'll buy an iPhone! I'll be broke as Monty Burns after he lost his nuclear plant, but I'll be the coolest guy in the food stamp line. Hey, being on disability tends to limit your spending options, and make you a tad cranky...

I've done the math. $500-$600, depending on the HD size, for the phone. At least $60 a month for a mandatory 2 year contract with AT&T. If my rudimentary math skills are still working, that's $1940 to $2040 to have the honor of owning Steve Jobs' newest status symbol. That's not including any odds, ends, bling, or other cell phone related crap.

Again, if you have the cash to burn, more power to you,I'd love to be in your shoes. But come on, does anyone really need an iPhone, especially at those prices? Then again, who knew everybody and your sister would own an iPod, or one of it's variants?

I'll be thankful when the iPhone mania passes me by, when the MSM, bloggers, and everyone else moves on to the next big thing. Be it dead wrestlers, swearing toddlers, dramatic chipmunks, dogfighting football players, or the MLB All Star game...

When that happens, you can reach me on my slick, and working perfectly, Samsung phone so generously given to me by Sprint. I won't be a hip as those Apple fanboys buying their Steve Jobs approved iPhones today, but I won't be 2 grand in the hole, either. (I had to work my Sprint phone in somehow people!)