Sunday, October 05, 2008

Chicago Bears @ Detroit Lions - 2nd quarter: Abandon hope all ye who enter here

We start the 2nd quarter with Orton killing the Lions with essentially paper cuts, getting 6 on a short pass. He's nickel and diming the Bears down the field. But a Jones run loses 4, leaving 3rd and 8.

Orton misfires on 3rd, the Lions gets a stop. Cool. Another small victory.

But the Lions are losing the battle of field position, as they will start at their 10 after the punt.

It's Rudi left on 1st down, and there's a small hole! His down at the 25, the Lions get their first 1st down of the game. Another very small victory.

A pass to Roy gets 10! The Lions are on a mini-roll. 1st and 10 at the 35.

Kitna's back to pass...Blindsided! BALL! BEARS! TAKE! OVER! FUUUUUUUCK! Backus was badly beaten on a speed rush. Shit, the Lions offense is offensive.

The Bears start at the Detroit 24. 2 runs leaves 3rd and 1. Orton's back to pass, Orton wants to throw a fade of some sort, the WR is well covered, the play misses badly.

WHAT? The Bears are going for it on 4th and 1? HUH? Lovie Smith wants blood! It's Forte up the gut...STUFFED AT THE LINE! The Lions D makes a play! Well, what do you know? Miracles happen, I guess. Lions take over on downs!

Lions take over at their 15. Can the Lions do anything on offense? I doubt it.

A pass and run leave a 3rd and 4. Kitna with the short drop...Hits Calvin Johnson on a quick slant...Dropped. Hold on to the ball! Fuck me. It would have been a 1st down. Jesus, even Johnson is stinking up the joint.

Lions will punt, Hester dances to 50...And Ramzee Robinson throws Hester down 5 yards out of bounds! YOU DUMB FUCK! And there's the flag, 15 yard personal foul. This is the dumbest fucking team on the planet.

Bears will start on the Lions' 37, thanks to Robinson's brain cramp.

On 2nd and long, Lions BLITZ! Orton quickly finds a wide open reciever at the sticks, 1st down. So much for using the blitz to pressure the QB.

A short run and incompletion leave the Bears with another 3rd and long at the 24.

SCREEN! Dewayne White blows it up! Wait...FLAG! Lions offsides. Where's the God damn discipline Rod? HUH? HUH?

And of course, the Bears convert the 3rd down on a pass to Hester. Fucking Lions shooting themselves in the foot...again. FIRE SOMEONE!

On 2nd and 8 from the 9, Orton's back to throw...It's Forte at the 2...STRRRETCHES...TD! Fuck me, fuck you, fuck the Bears, and FUCK THE LIONS.

There's the red flag! Marinelli is going to challenge the call. Forte's knee might have been down when reaching for the goal line. Even if the Lions get the call, it's still going to be 1st and goal for the Bears. It's just delaying the inevitable.

And, as usual, the Lions don't get the call, play stands. Bears' TD. I have to agree, it was too close to change the call on the field.

10-0 Windy City. The crowd is heavy with Chicago fans, if you go by the LOUD cheering. I'm not at all surprised. Hey, more power to 'em. At least they have a decent team to follow.

Lions start at their 24 after another shitty return. FIRE KWAN!

What? Roy Williams makes a play! He takes a 5 yard pass, breaks a tackle, gets the 1st down! It's Roy again on a cross! He's over the 50! 1st down! As expected, the Lions have given up on the run.

Kitna to Megatron gets 7! They are moving the ball! Kitna's back to throw...He's sacked on a SCREEN? Jesus fucking Christ! How do you do that? Sacked on a screen?

The drive fizzles out, as Kitna throws behind Roy on 3rd and long. Lions will punt...AGAIN. ARRRRGH.

Touchback. Even Harris is getting into the sucking act.

Orton is back...Hester is WIDE OPEN on the sideline, brought down at the Detroit 48. Kyle Orton is chewing up the Lions' D. Kyle Orton?

A holding call has the Bears 1st and 20 at the Bears' 42. Another flag? This game is getting damn sloppy. Off-fucking-sides. SHIT!!! I'm getting mega-pissed.

Orton is back...lots of time...Davis is open down the sideline...down at the 19! Pretty pass by Orton, as he dropped it in nicely. It helps when the WR has 5 yards on the Lions corner.

A short pass has the Bears deep in Lions territory, and that is the 2 minute warning. THANK GOD! Only 32 minutes left in the game...

2nd and 3 from the 16. Orton drops pressure...There's Hester at the goal line...Easy TD. Bodden gave him a 3 yard cushion. WHY? WHY? WHY? He's not going to run by you in the RED ZONE!

17-0 Bears. On the bright side, it isn't 21-0, right? RIGHT? Fuck.

Lions will start at their 22 with 1:50 left. A short pass and run, 1st down, but the clock is running. 1:15 left.

Kitna is back...bounces off of Furrey's hands...OOOOOH...Near pick. FLAG! Motion, Lions. Can Marinelli be fired at halftime? Please?

It's 1st and 15..Roy on a slant...DROPPED! JESUS! DIE LIONS, DIE!

Kitna is back to throw...Roy cuts in...Kitna throws deep. WHAT THE FUCK? It's like they are playing on 2 different offenses. BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Kitna dumps the ball off to Smith on 3rd and 15. Yeah, that's opening up the fucking offense. Bears will get the ball back with 0:33 left.

They will let the clock run out, happy with a 17-0 lead. Hell, I would too.

The BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS rain down from the stands throughout Ford Field, for good reason.

The Bears have out gained the Lions 251 to 67. The motherfucking Bears!

This really says it all...

Orton 16-20-217-2 TD's-145.2 QB rating
Kitna 8-16-74-0-63.0 QB rating

Hell, at this point I'd give Orlovsky a shot in the 3rd quarter. Kitna and his receivers are playing 2 different game plans.

Another joke of a 1st half for the Lions. Seriously, fire Marinelli after this game. Fire his pounding the rock ass! Blow it all the fuck up. Millen was jonly a start.

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