Sunday, December 16, 2007

Bolts are here to kick ass, and chew bubble gum. They are all out of bubble gum - 2nd quarter Lions - Chargers thoughts

The 2nd quarter starts with Kitna dropping back...Looks for McDoanald...It's a God damn PICK! The LB, Wilhem, baited Kitna, made the pick, and is run out of bounds at the Chargers 49.

Fuck me, fuck the Lions, fuck the NFL.

When do the Wolverines kick off? Can Rich Rodriguez coach the bowl game instead of Lllloyd?

The Bolts start with a Turner run, get 6, and are into Lions territory.

Rives fades...Lions with pressure...Dumps it off, and loses 6 yards! 3rd and 10.

You're SHITTING me! It's a swing pass to Sproles, he RUNS THROUGH a Sims tackle, and gets the 1st down at the Lions 39. Awful tackling. Just fucking awful.

A run gets 2, and Rivers misfires on a pass. 3rd and 8 from the Detroit 37.

False start on the Bolts! Make it 3rd and 13.

Rivers drops back...looks...It's Chambers with a leaping catch at the 20! Caught it between 4 Lions. Christ. God damn, the Lions SUCK!

Then Redding jumps offsides. This is the stiff Millen made one of the highest paid tackles in the NFL? Why am I still a fan?

Turner up the gut...Move the Lions pile all the way to the 5! 1st and goal!

The Lion defense sucks it up, and somehow stuffs LT on a pair of runs. 3rd and goal from the Detroit 5.

It's a swing pass to LT, but it doesn't fool anyone, no gain. That's on Rivers, as LT had to make a nice play just to catch the ball.

It's Kaeding from 22 yards out. FG is good, the Bolts lead 20-0.

I hate life. I hate the Lions more.

I hate that Aveion Cason is returning kicks for the Lions, and I hate that he's down at the Detroit 32.

FUCKFUCKFUCKSHITSHIT! Kitna drops back...Pressured on a blitz...AND THROWS THE BALL RIGHT TO A BOLTS LINEMAN! PICK! Phillips strolls in from 35 yards out, touchdown Bolts.

Where's is your God now, Kitna? Maybe he could tell you to HOLD ON TO THE FUCKING BALL?!

With the PAT, it's 27 to fucking nothing, Chargers kicking the Lions' ass all over Qualcomm Field.

The Lions will start at the 35. Jones gets 6 on 1st down, 8 more on 2nd. 1st down Lions. YES! HELL YEAH! GO!GO!GO! That was sarcasm, if you didn't realize it...

A McDonald catch has the Lions in Bolts territory at the 44. Jones is piled up for a 2 yard loss on 1st down. But Kitna finds Middleton for the 1st down at the 38.

6 minutes left in the half. The clock can't move fast enough...

Duckett gets 3 off tackle. Gets 3 more off tackle. I guess the Lions are running clock... You're down 20-0!

Kitna drops back..IT"S NOT NOT A PICK He finds Middleton at the 30, 1st down.

A slant to CJ nets 7, a pass to Furrey suddenly has the Lions deep in Bolts territory at the 9. Start warming up your leg, Hanson!

What? Kitna finds Middleton open at the goal line! It's not a pick? Touchdown!

It's 27-7 Bolts with the PAT. The Lions radio guys are blowing smoke up the listener's asses, talking up the "fact" that the Lions now have momentum? Momentum my ass!

2:50 left in the half, as the Chargers start at the 20. The coverage team actually did their jobs?! How about that!

Bolts are happy to just run the ball, and clock, as it's LT getting 5. A dump off to LT gets the 1st down at the 31, and we have the 2 minute warning. Thank fucking God, the half is almost over!

LT off tackle gets 11. Rivers drops...Lions blitz...Davis with the catch at the Lions 45? I don't know about that, he was juggling the ball! Refs agree, as it's booth review time!

No catch! Incomplete, Bolts have a 3rd and 1 at their 42.

You know it's going to be LT.

COME ON! Fuck me! LT off tackle, HUGE God damn hole, and he's out of bounds at the Lions 9 yard line. Kill me now. Please. Put me out of my Lions fan misery...

A Sproles run lose one...A Rivers to Davis slant makes it 3rd and goal at the 1.

Rivers with a DEEP drop...It's Bolts TE Matamahamaluimaa wide open in the end zone...TD Bolts.

With the kick, it's 34-7 Chargers.

The Lions should be fucking embarrassed. A shameful performance so far. The Lions are playing like unadulterated shit.

Now it's getting hysterical! Cason takes the kick, and actually thinks he can outrun the coverage! He tries going wide, and is down at the 16! HA!

A Kitna to Furrey pass gets 16. TO Lions, 0:13 left.

It's Kitna to Johnson, he's down at the 50. TO Lions, 0:07 left.

Kitna drops back...Throws the ball out of bounds. 0:03 left.

Hail Mary time. Kitna throws a moon ball up for grabs...Someone has the ball! Can't tell who though...There's a battle...It's CJ with the catch, but he's down at the 1 yard line as time runs out on the half. Fucking figures, doesn't it?

All that drive did was make Kitna's stats look a little better, though 3 picks says it all.

At the half, it's the Bolts running away with the game, leading 34-7 over the team that is a curse upon Detroit, the black sheep of the city, the fucking Lions.


  1. Take a stand Big Al..

    Do what I did, just turn it off and watch Phil-Dal... at least they're showing Ms. Simpson the odd time...

    again, walk away and save yourself the harm.. this team and I are through this year.

  2. I wish I could. 1. I'm a masochist. 2. It's fun to just shit all over the Lions in the live blog. They do deserve it. 3. There's no other game to watch here in the D. No double header game on CBS, and the 2 FOX stations my cable carries, Detroit and Toledo, both have the Lions.

    I'll stick it out for the time being, and we'll see what happens...