The biggest game of the season: 1st quarter Lions - New York Football Giants thoughts

After taking a birthday hiatus from my Detroit Lions blogging, I'm back for another Sunday of Detroit Lions uber-blogging.

We are watching live from TWFE HQ, the 6-3 Detroit Lions vs the 6-3 New York Football Giants. The winner gets essentially a 2 game lead over other the for the NFC wild card, so today's matchup has huge playoff ramifications. (Never thought I'd be saying that 10 weeks ago...)

It's the most important game (Excluding the Super Bowl) in the short history of Ford Field. It's easily the Lions' most important since the Christmas Eve 2000 game against the Bears. That was a win or go home, do or die game which resulted in a heartbreaking last play loss (You go to Hell and you die, Paul Edinger! And take Stoney Case with you!), the firing of Gary Moeller, and ultimately ushered in the Matt Millen era.

We can only hope this Lions' matchup ends with a much better result...

We join FOX's broadcast team of Marv Albert's mongoloid looking brother Kenny, Moose Johnson, and the sideline reporter to whom English is a second language, the sweaty and obese Tony Siragusa.

The Lions receive the kickoff, and will start the 27. Lions safety Andres Brashir is shaken up on the return, let's cut to commercials, and I'll grab a frosty beverage...

OMG! Martz starts with a RUN?! Kevin Jones gets 5 on 1st down. Hey, it's a start... And it's Jones again, 1st down at the 40! The Lions are +33 yards rushing compared to last Sunday!

Jones again between the tackles, gets a couple, then he's around left end for 4 more. Come on, THROW DAMN THE BALL! I'm kidding, folks...

ARRRGH. Shades of Joey Blue Skies, as the Lions need 4, and it's a Kitna pass to McDonald for 3 1/2... God damn it to Hell, run the route to the sticks!

After an angled out of bounds Nick Harris punt, the Giants start at their 19.

And it's Peyton's less talented younger brother Eli starting with a 9 yard pass to Plaxico Burress, and misses him on a 2nd down pass. 3rd and 1, get the stop!

Damn it, former Lions draft bust Ruben Droughns gets 2 up the gut.

And we have out 1st penalty of the day, Lions D-line mistimes the snap, offsides Detroit. A short run, and an incompletion sets up another 3rd and short. Make a play, defense! Make a play...

The Giants make a bad play, 12 men in the huddle makes it 3rd and 6! Cool! Lions blow up the 3rd down screen, and the football Giants will punt. Not a bad 1st series for the Lions D. Goose says he likes what he's sees of the Lions defense so far, but it's hard to trust his judgment as I can't believe he can see through the folds of fat...

Detroit will start at their own 20 after the punt.

Awww, FOX shows Mike Martz sitting all by his lonesome on the bench. It's kind of sad...

Damn it, J Peterman is called for a personal foul face mask while pass blocking for Kitna. Shit...

YES! But on 2nd down, the Lions get it all back on a 20 yard out to McDonald! Damn, he was a good off season pickup!

WHOOO! Roy Williams is wide open, Kitna hits him for 26 yards up the middle! That's the Lions offense I know and love...

FUCKFUCKFUCK! Whew... Kitna is playing it fast and loose, and is bailed out by the refs, nearly losing a fumble that's called an incomplete pass. He somehow got the ball going forward with both his arms pinned down by the Giants lineman. What was Kitna thinking?! About God, I guess...

On 3rd and 9, Kitna just misses Williams down the right sideline. Roy almost made a spectacular catch!

Lions punt, and Harris again shows his mastery of the coffin corner kick, as the Giants will start at their 9.

GOD DAMN IT! Brandon Jacobs goes 34 yards with a dump off. The Lions looked a step slow on that play, considering Jacobs lumbers, rather than runs...

A short run and pass set up the Giants with another 3rd and short at the 49. STOP 'EM! And the Lions don't, as Peyton's dumber brother hits former Wolverine Amani "It's not a" Toomer for 15 yards. Fuckkkkkk...

Jacobs just RAN OVER Gerald Alexander, and gives the Giants a 1st down at the Lions 17. Alexander will get called out when watching film, he was literally pancaked by the running back.

On 2nd and 10, Cory Redding earns a couple of bucks worth of his multi-million dollar deal by busting up a run for a 4 yard loss. 3rd and 14, Giants are called for an illegal formation, but the Lions take the play, as the football Giants were short on the 3rd down try, leaving a 4th down FG attempt.

It's good from 29. 3-0 Giants with a little more than 30 seconds left in the 1st quarter. It took the FOX dip shits seeing the Giants actually lining up for the figgie before they realized the Lions declined the penalty.

As the kickoff goes for a touchback, it's good news for the Lions, as the Giants DE Mathias Kwasindsfgrjka is out with a broken leg. A Jones sweep is stuffed for no gain, and that's the 1st quarter.

It's the NY football Giants 3, Lions zip. The Lions weren't great, but they did play better than last week. Not that it's saying much. On to the 2nd quarter...