Sunday, September 23, 2007

It's officially a defensive debacle: 2nd quarter Lions - Eagles thoughts

As we start the 2nd quarter, the Eagles are at the Lions 45, 1st and 10. On 2nd down, Buckhalter goes left, and isn't stopped till he gets to the Lions 11! Shit...

On 2nd and 10, McNabb is hit hard after he releases the ball by DeWayne White, but it makes no difference, as Curtis is wide wide wide open in the end zone. Another easy TD. 28-7 Eagles.

This is a disaster for Detroit. Same old, same old, they can't handle prosperity...

Philly is averaging almost 9 yards a carry. This is like watching the Oregon Ducks dismantle the Wolverines defense. Yes, it's that bad! It's that embarrassing! The Eagles are doing whatever they want, whenever they want.

It's obvious that the defense is going to be of no help, so it's up to the offense. The Lions start at their own 20, and they need something, anything, to spark them. So to get Detroit fired up on 1st down, Kitna...Is sacked.

2nd down, McDonald is open down the left sideline, but Kitna misses him... On 3rd down, Kitna has no chance, scrambles right, and is sacked for a 10 yard loss! The Lions look absolutely feeble against a decent Eagles team. The Vikings and Raiders are nowhere close to being as good as Philly.

After the punt the Eagles will start in Lions territory, at the 43. I sense another score coming.

McNabb fades back on 1st down, sets up with literally no pressure, AND NO ONE COVERS CURTIS! He's wide wide wide wide wide open on the left side, you'll never see an easier43 yard TD. 35-7 Eagles. With 11:32 left in the 2nd quarter!

Jesus Christ, this is nothing short of a debacle for the Lions. I told everyone not to buy into the Lions hype.

On 1st and 10 from the 20, it's Kitna to Calvin Johnson for 19 yards. A swing pass to Jones takes the Lions into Eagles' territory. And it's a false start on...Guess who? George Foster? I knew you'd figure that one out!

A short pass gets the 5 yards back, it's 2nd and 10. Kitna's hit, and he fumbles! But he recovers... Still, a 5 yard loss. 3rd and long...Kitna throws it up for grabs deep! It's Calvin Johnson with a circus catch at the 11! He's still down...Shit! From the replay, it's got to be just that the wind was knocked out of him, as Johnson landed flat on his back. A great catch, to say the very least...

Hell, back from commercial, and Johnson is still down! SHITSHITSHIT!!!

Now he's up, but walking slowly under his own power. Christ, that was a scare...

1st down, Williams drops a sure TD! But McDonald has his back, as Kitna hits McDonald for the 11 yard TD pass. Both former Rams WR's, Curtis and McDonald, are putting on quite the show today... 35-14, Eagles.

Well, the offense got back on track, but can the defense do anything? Oh Hell, Johnson is riding the golf cart to the locker room. Fuck! He may be done for the day...

The Eagles will start on their own 22. OK, this is just getting stupid silly. Westbrook takes a screen pass for 43 yards to the Lions 31! Good fucking Lord...

Word from Fox is Calvin Johnson has a back injury, going for x-rays. It would be typical Lions luck if Johnson end up missing a significant amount of time. Wonderful, now Ernie Sims is shaken up...

McNabb is 11-12 for 245 yards. And the half is not close to being over... The Lions D is an utter joke. As if to confirm that thought, Wesbrook breaks off another long run, taking the ball to the 7.

McNabb drops back..He's hit by Cory Smith...Fumble! Lions ball...No review? Nope, McNabb's arm was not going forward! Lions get a break!

On 2nd down...Kitna hits Williams on a 5 yard slant...And Williams runs away from the Eagles' defense!!!! 91 yard TD pass!

35-21 Eagles. But can the Lions defense get another stop? To their credit, the offense is trying to make a game of it...

On the kickoff, Buckhalter bungles the return, indecisive as to downing the ball, runs it out, and is stopped at the 11! McNabb scrambles for a short gain on 1st down. But Westbrook is unstoppable, it's another long run, this one for 17 yards. He's over 100 yards on the day.

On 2nd down from their 37, McNabb scrambles...Looks...And finds you know who. Curtis is open at the Lions 46. Curtis now has 9 catches for...Get this...205 yards!

Guess what else folks. I have Curtis on one of my fantasy teams. Think I thought to play him? Hell no...

You have got to be kidding me! Westbrook takes a swing pass, the Lions miss several tackles, Westbrook breaks 3 on his own, and takes it to the house. Pitiful display of tackling by the Lions. Absolutely pitiful. That was jaw droppingly bad defensive play by the Lions.

To make things even worse, Sims is dinged up again on the play as well.

42-21 Eagles. McNabb has 335 yards passing, and the HALF ISN'T OVER. I'm at a loss for words at this point...

1st down at the the Lions' 25. Williams catches a 7 yard pass. 2nd down...Yep, you know it, you expected it, a false start on Wilson. An incomplete pass is nullified by an Eagles penalty, 1st and 10 on the 33.

Sideline pass to Williams goes for 9 yards. Williams is up to 167 yards in the day. Kitna looks DEEP! But misses Williams. Luckily it turns out, as he was double covered. 3rd and 1, just over a 1 minute left.

Kitna hits Walters for a 1st down, ball now at the Eagles 46. McDonald catches another, a 23 yard catch to the Eagles 22! Time out Detroit! This is a God damn video game, not real football...

Incomplete pass on 1st down... Near pick on a slant on 2nd down... That was too close. 3rd and 10.

ARRRRRRRGH! Kitna scrambles right, and throws it up for grabs in the end zone. You know the result, Eagles pick. Kitna with his 3rd end zone pick in 3 games. That was a stupid, silly pass, one a veteran should never have tried. I could make a religion joke here, but I'll hold back...

Eagles take a knee, half is finally over. 42-21 Eagles. I'm fucking exhausted... So are the Eagles, after gaining 473 TOTAL YARDS! Not that the Lions were too shabby either, with 290 total yards.

The stats are arcade like...

Westbrook 102 rushing, 98 receiving. Curtis 205 receiving. McNabb 332 passing. Kitna 314 passing. Williams 167 receiving.

That's in one fucking half! I'm flabbergasted. The doofs on Fox say we may see 100 points combined. Personally, I think we'll see that from the Eagles themselves!

On to the 3rd quarter!

1 comment:

  1. I'm nauseous... I'm nauseous... I'm nauseous!!

    ReplyDelete