Sunday, September 23, 2007

It's empty stats time: 4th quarter Lions - Eagles thoughts

As we start the 4th, McNabb has 381 yards passing and 4 TD's. Despite that, the Lions force 2 incomplete passes, and wonder of wonders, force a punt!

Lion ball at their 35. I'm going to try and gut it out, even if all the offensive fireworks has my hands cramping up from all the typing... Oh, the pain, the pain...

To start the drive, it's a 3 yard pass to Bell. The Lions are going to need more than that to make a game out of this. A short pass to Williams leaves 3rd and 2. Kitna hits Williams in a seam, and he actually holds on to it, for 24 yards! 1st down at the Eagle 34.

Another pass to Williams, 2nd and 2. It's Calhoun catching a pass down the middle, 1st down at the 15!

Gah! Kitna misses an open McDonald at the goal line! Sweep to Calhoun gets maybe a yard, 3rd and long. It's 4 down territory if you ask me, a field goal does nothing.

Kitna scrambles...And drops the ball! Christ almighty, it's Eagles' ball inside the 15! Still 49-21 Eagles. Game's been over for a while, but there's always the fantasy stats to keep you interested.

Kitna, even if he has a combination of God, Allah, and Zeus on his side, is still a God damn turnover machine... Leadership is moot if YOU CAN'T HOLD ON TO THE FUCKING BALL!

The Lions force another 3 and out. Well, Curtis forced the 3 and out, as he dropped a 3rd down pass that would have moved the chains.

The pace of this game has really slowed down, after that track meet of a 1st half.

After a punt, a Lions block in the back penalty on the return, then a false start, they start this drive at their own 26. A quick look at the stats, Kitna has 401 yards passing, McNabb 381.

Kitna is sacked on 1st down. Kitna holds on to the ball on 2nd, looks downfield, and FUMBLES! Fuck. Eagles ball at the Lions 22.

This game is example number one that is the good and bad of Jon Kitna. He can move the Lions against any defense, but his turnovers just kill any momentum. He's responsible for 3 today, 2 costing the Lions scoring chances, one setting up an Eagles score.

McNabb looks for the TD on 1st down, pass interference Detroit! 1st and goal, Philly. On 2nd down, Hunt scores for the Eagles, diving in untouched from the 2. Another much too easy score, as Fox shows Marty Moronwheg on the sidelines. I'm guessing he's enjoying himself... 56-21 Eagles.

After a Calhoun run and a Philly personal foul, Lions are at their own 47, just over 7 minutes left in the game. Free play, Eagles are offside, but Kitna had to throw it away. 2st and 5.

1st down pass to Furry. This game is over, but Kitna will at least pad his fantasy stats. Short slant to McDonald. Kitna is up to 414 yards in the air. Pass to McDonald has the ball inside the Eagles 20. Lions are driving, time for a turnover?

Not a turnover, but something almost as harmful. Holding on the Lions moves the ball back to the 27. Screen pass fools no one, loses 5 yards. 2nd and 24, might as well be 2nd and forever.

Short pass gains little on 2nd, Eagles sack Kitna for the 8th time on 3rd down. On 4th and 23 Kitna does a Joey Harrington, and checks down to a running back. Eagles take over at their 21, and Kevin Kolb, McNabb's probable replacement, is under center.

McNabb is done for the day, only after completing 80% of his passes. He finishes 21-26-381-4-0, fantasy owners get a hard on upon hearing those stats...

Now the Lions decide to start using time outs? WHY? The game is over!

3rd and 17, Kolb is hit, and fumbles. Lions ball, on the 7! Unfortunately, it's much too little, way too late. Kitna is still under center? WHY? The game is over!

Kitna throws the ball into the stands on 1st and 2nd down, on 3rd he runs for no gain, not sliding in the process.

Again, why is Kitna even in the game? It makes absolutely no sense! The Lions know their only chance to win games is with Kitna under center. So why risk playing him at the end of a blowout? You know he won't slide, and will take chances. It's another in a series of asinine coaching decisions by Marinelli.

And as if to prove my point, Kitna gets hit, and sacked, on 4th down. What is Marinelli thinking? My guess? He's not...

The Eagles are ready to start kneeling down with just under 2 minutes left, yet the Lions somehow manage a 5 yard penalty. Doesn't make any difference, as this game was toast long before now.

Game is officially over, Eagles win 56-21. This was an all around debacle for the Lions. Now do you know why I warned fans from getting overly excited about the Lions? This is what they ALWAYS do, lose badly after playing well...

Christ, only the Lions would follow up 2 wins by giving up 56 points in a blowout loss. When asked about the awful results, I'm going guess that Marinelli will say that the Lions will need to "Keep fighting," "Keep working" "To pound the rock."

Screw you, and your cliches'. Pound THIS, Marinelli!


  1. "McNabb is done for the day, only after completing 80% of his passes. He finishes 21-26-381-4-0"

    A white quarterback would have done way better.

    I wonder if Kitna is trying to force the sergeant's hand somehow. Kitna is a competitor, if nothing else. So he wants to get out there, and I don't know if the Sergeant ever wants to tell him "no". He should, but perhaps he just wants to let him do his thing.

    Stupid, but it's at least an explanation.

    Imagine how bad it would have been if the Eagles were at full strength.

  2. Rarely have I seen our defense play that bad.