The Bears offense is putrid: 1st quarter Lions - Bears thoughts

From sold out Ford Field in downtown Detroit, it's the Chicago Bears kicking off to the the team that we both love and hate, the team that drives us to distraction, our Detroit Lions...

Lions start from the 20, and 2 runs between the tackles from Tatum Bell leaves a 3rd and 4. Jon Kitna dodges the rush nicely, and hits Mike Furrey, who's wide open down the right sideline! But in typical Lion fashion, he has a foot out of bounds when he catches the ball, no catch, Fuck!

On the punt, Devin Hester runs about 200 yards to get 30. Coverage looked to have him, but Hester just plain outran it. In more typical Lions luck, Hester fumbles, but gains an extra 5 yards as it goes out of bounds. Ball at the Lions 40.

A run and short pass leave a Bears 3rd and 3, burn a time out to talk about it.. Lots of time, but it's broken up. A Lions DB making a play? The world may stop spinning on it's axis!

It's a 52 yard FG attempt, BLOCKED by Big Baby with big push up the middle! Kennoy Kennedy catches the deflected ball in he air, and takes it 30 yards to the Bears 40! Tack on 15 for unnecessary roughness on the Bears! A wild start to this game...

Lions continue to try and establish the run with 2 more Bell runs, with not much luck, leaving 3rd and 6. Kitna rolls right, but takes 10th sack of the season. Bears come out with the ball, but no fumble is called. No one seems to know why, as it was a clear fumble on the replay. The play had to have been blown dead is my only guess. Lovie Smith throws the red flag, but whatever the officials tell him changes his mind. Lions dodge a big time bullet!

Given new life, Detroit MVP Jason Hanson drills a 49 yard field goal, and it's 3-0 Lions!

Bears take the kick, start at the 26. The Lions D comes out flying, getting a 3 and out as the Bears lose 4 yards on the "Drive." An intentional grounding call on a blown up 3rd down screen leaves the Bears DEEP in their own territory. A nice punt leave the Lions starting at their own 35.

Lions defense has been dominating on the first 2 series. I'm not sure if that's due to the Lions playing better, or more likely, in thanks to the Bears inept offense...

On the ensuing drive, there's a false start on...Guess who? Yep, George Foster!

On 2nd and 15, Kitna holds the ball waaay to long, and takes another sack! 3rd down is a blown play, causing Kitna to get hit again... The Lions offense has been as inept as the Bears to this point.

A punt and a nice Hester run back give the Bears the ball at their 45. The Lions had Hester hemmed in, but they just could not get their hands on the slippery SOB.

In your moment of Brett Favre love, FOX tells us that has just broken the career passing TD record. John Madden has an orgasm.

Now that I've rubbed one out in honor of Favre, back to the game!

The Bears offense continues to misfire, and it's another 3 and out. Griese has been Rex-riffic so far!

Lions take over on their 9, and Kevin Jones is now in the backfield. a Jones run, and Furrey catch leaves a 3rd and 2. Bears blitz...but Kitna finds Roy Williams on a short Z route for 7! First down!

Still, the Lions offense is struggling. Kitna is having big trouble finding any one open deep. On 3rd down and 9...Kitna looks, and looks, and it's...Another Kitna sack! But the Leo's are bailed out on a Bears offsides penalty!

On 3rd and 4, Kitna looks, and looks...And hits Williams at the 50! Beautiful twisting catch by Roy, as the pass was well behind him...

The Lions continue to pound the rock. 2 Bell runs, and it's 1 st down at the Bears 34.

On 2nd and 12, Kitna finds Troy Walters in a seam for 20 yards! 1st down at the 15, and it's red zone time. As we all know, that means it's time for Kitna to throw a pick... But on 1st down, it's Bell up the gut for 7 yards! And that's the 1st quarter, folks! 3-0, good guys.

Overall, a good one for the Lions.