Wednesday, August 01, 2007

A preseason message from Matt Millen

Hi Detriot Liuns fans! Matt Millen hear. I now you are all concerned and wurried about the bad news comeing out of training camp. I'm hear to eaze you're minds. Bear with me, and Ill clu you into the reel scoop.

Drew Stanton is having knee sergery - He wuzn't going to play anyways. So whut's the big damn deal? All he's wus goning to do wuz study Martz's playbook anyways. I have full confidance that Jon Kitna isn't goning to get hurt. I've even ordered him a "Gazoo" helmut, like that dude in Bufalo used to ware. I'm not wuried one bit.

We have 16 different wide recievers either under contract, or considred as "Dead money" in regard to our celery cap - My bad. Won't hapen again. Promise.

Calven Johnson is holding out - Again, no plroblem. Why do you think they'res 16 recievers under contract? Duh! If he's as gud as everyones says, missing camp won;t make any difference anyways.

Teddy Lehman hert his shoulder - Not my fault. Blame Mareinelli! I told him too tak eit easy, but noooooo, he had to have them hit each udder. I told him so....

Kevin Jones won't be at 110% when the season starts - That's why I has 7 runing backs in camp! Why do you think I tradded for Jack Tatum and signed BJ Bukket? Duh!

I made Corey Redding the highest paid defensive tackle in the NFL, even tho no one says hes a "Impact" player - Again, my bad. I thought he wuz a wide reciever. Won't hapen again.

Jon Kitna says we'll won 10 games - I thnk he's wrong to. Were really goning to win 14 gasmes! That's whut I telled Billy Ford, anyways. He beleives everything I tell him abyways.

See? Their's nuthing too wurry about. All is well with the Detriot Liuns! Thanks too me!

Trust me! The Fords du, and so shuld you. So pleese, no "Fire Me" chants. No walkouts. No bouycots. No wearing the udder teams jersees. I have it all under control.

See you in in the funnie papers!

Matt Milen

1 comment:

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