Wednesday, July 12, 2006

It's a "Sports Dead Zone Wednesday" at TWFE!

Today is the worst sports day of the year, by far. We're in a dead zone. When your only viewing options for sports are the All-Star games for Triple A and the WNBA, you might just as well shut off the damn TV. If you seriously think that I'm going to watch crapola like "So You Think You Can Dance" or "Freddie," you are sadly mistaken. The big 4 networks might just as well shut down for the summer and run juiceman infomercials. That would be more entertaining than excrement like "Big Brother All-Stars." They aren't even trying anymore...

If you have ever watched the ESPY's, you should be ashamed of yourself. Ashamed. You're only encouraging the Worldwide Leader.

7 more years of FOX broadcasting MLB? No no no no no no! Say it isn't so, Joe...Buck. That's not good, not good at all. No sir. This also means...7 MORE YEARS OF GOD DAMN TIM MCCARVER! Christ almighty, that blows hard. I'm off to find icepicks to plunge into my ears and eyes.

Shanny's gone. Stevie's retired. Manny's off wandering the earth and there's still no #1 goalie under contract. Let alone the lack of a physical presence on the roster. But the Wings have resigned Dan Cleary and Brett Lebda, so all is well, right? Right? I didn't think so either...

I think we can all agree that no news is good news on the Psycho Eddie front. I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the idea of Belfour wearing the Winged Wheel. It makes no sense. Why is it the only people who think this is a good idea are the Red Wings? It's as if Matt Millen is making the personnel decisions.

Come on Double D, I'm still waiting on that big left handed bat. The first domino fell today with Aubrey Huff going to the Astros. Not that he's someone I thought you should target, but he was definitely a fallback option. I sure as Hell hope you are working on something more substantial, say a deal for Abreu or Soriano. You have to think the BoSox and Yankees are targeting the same names. I would be awfully disappointed if the lefty bat ends up being a 2nd or 3rd tier guy like Matt Stairs or Daryle Ward.

The worst thing of all about sports dead days? Talk radio trying to fill time. If I hear another dumb ass caller bring up a Tigers scrap heap player(s) for Bobby Abreu trade, someone's gonna get hurt. It's getting as bad as the running joke that was the "Pistons should trade Lindsey Hunter and Terry Mills for a (superstar to be named)" deals delusional fans would come up with a decade ago. I swear radio producers only let the brain dead on the air. Right, "Caputo?"

Why is Mateen Cleaves playing for the Pistons summer league team? There has to be plenty of other options available if a body is needed to fill out the roster. The Pistons have to know that he's an player that would be inactive 99% of the time, and get nothing but "DNP-coaches decision" stat lines if he were activated, correct? God forbid if the Pistons are contemplating Cleaves as part of the bench depth solution. Why not bring back John Long? At least he could play. Hell, they might as well see what Antoine Joubert is up to. If the Pistons are that hard up for a Sparty point guard, I'm sure Marcus Taylor has some free time on his hands.

God help me, I need a Tiger game on the air. After 3 days of Tim McCarver, Chris Berman, Joe Buck, Joe Morgan, and the "Baseball Tonight" crew, Rod Allen is an island of wisdom and sanity in comparison, Mario.

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