Wednesday, June 28, 2006

The question...Who will be the left handed power bat? The answer is...Da Meat Hook?

The Tigers are overturning every possible stone in their desperate search for a powerful left handed bat. Under one of those stones, Dave Dombrowski has found a switch hitting DH/1B/3B/LF jack of all trades. Good news, right? Well, maybe not. The "Jack of all trades" is Dmitri Young, who fits the "Master of none" part of the equation.

Da Meat Hook is headed for a rehab stint in Lakeland. In case you were wondering, Betty Ford has not opened a clinic in Florida.

As Dmeat may be back in the Tigers pitcture, it's time to do something TWFE loves, and hasn't done since the days of Darko. What might that be? A Pro and Con exercise!

Pro: Dmeat can play 3 positions.
Con: He plays none of them well.

Pro: He's has a history of being a good hitter.
Con: Expecially of 21 year old women.

Pro: Young swings from both sides.
Con: When punching 21 year old women.

Pro: He has shown power from the left side.
Con: When punching 21 year old women.

Pro: He connects for a good average from the right side.
Con: When punching 21 year old women.

Pro: He can DH.
Con: Because you want him nowhere near glove leather...Or 21 year old women.

Pro: Da Meat Hook is in the best shape of his life.
Con: If you like a pear shape.

Pro: Now that he's in better shape, his speed has increased.
Con: When running from bench warrants.

Pro: Expect the all you can eat buffets in Lakeland to have a spike in sales.
Con: Liquor stores can only hope for a relapse.

Pro: He brings something to the clubhouse.
Con: That something being clubhouse cancer, cliques, and police investigations.

Pro: Young is a role model.
Con: Example #1 of Dmitri's influence is his brother Delmon, who uses umpires as batting tees.

Pro: Dmitri is already under contract.
Con: So is Nook Logan, and I don't want him anywhere near Detroit either.

Pro: Da Meat Hook coming back may end any trade talks for a left handed bat.
Con: Who needs Bobby Abrau when you have Dmitri Young?

So Dmitri Young may be back in a Tiger uniform. As if Jim Leyland doesn't have enough on his managerial plate. Well, we know Dmeat's plate will be full...

No comments:

Post a Comment