Friday, March 10, 2006

Tommy, it's the NIT calling. They're asking if you got the invite, they were worried you weren't coming this year

Michigan basketball, specifically he of the mock turtleneck, Tommy Amaker, has the local blogosphere and all Wolverine fans in conniption fits. That they are "Spittin' mad" would be a good way to put it...

I'll admit that like most Michigan fans, I won't miss a football game. But college hoop is 5th or 6th on my sports radar, if I'm being generous to myself. Nearly a decade of Michigan flailing about blindly with the likes of Brian Ellerbee and TV networks force feeding us the likes of Dick Vitale (When he's in bed, he does't yell "I'm comimg!," he screams "DUKE! COACH K! DUKE!") and Billy Packer (Same as Dickie V, just substitute "ACC!" for "DUKE!") have taken a toll on my college basketball consciousness. I've watched a handful of Wolverine games this season, but I didn't go out of my way to watch. There are more important subjects to discuss, such as who's the 3rd point guard on the Pistons, and Joey Harrington, yay or nay?

But with the NCAA's just around the corner, and Michigan being one of the most prominently mentioned bubble teams by the (Lord, I hate this non-word...) "Bracketologists," my interest ratcheted up a several notches. So I watched all of the head scratching Indiana loss and the disaster that was yesterday's Minnesota debacle. The Gophers did everything in their lack of God given talent to give the game away, and Michigan kindly said, "Uh...Thanks, but no. We do appreciate the effort, though. Which way to the NIT?"

So what conclusion do you draw from the Wolverines staggering to the end of the season like a 16 year old drunk on Thunderbird? Tommy Amaker couldn't coach his way out of a middle school AAU tournament if you spotted him a front line of 6'2" freshmen.

I'm far from a hoops guru, but leaving your team in a zone when you are desperately in need of the ball, despite the glaring fact that you are three possessions down, and there is less than three minutes on the clock, well, that strategy would get you fired from said middle school gig. Yet Brent Mussburger was more than happy to mention that Michigan AD Bill Martin told him that Amaker was coming back next season. No matter if they make the NCAA's or not, because he's a "Classy person." What? The? Hell? You could hear jaws dropping from A2 to the far reaches of Wolverine fandom.

Walk up to your average Joe Wolverine fan on the street and ask him this question. Who would he prefer coaching the Wolverines? "Classy Guy Tommy" or "Prick asshole who wins occasionally?" I guarantee he'd say, "I'd prefer the prick asshole, as he would get Michigan something other than a standing NIT invite!"

What's even scarier to comtemplate is that if you hear some of the "Bracketologists" (I think they find the "Bracketologists" in the same place they find "Recruiting gurus" and "NFL Draftniks", which is in their mom's basement) today, Michigan is still in the big tournament. Probably as the last at large team, a low ass double digit seed, but still getting an invite. Again, What? The? Hell?

At this point, I'd rather see them not get invited. One, they have the look of a team has "One and done" written all over them. With a permanent marker. In capital letters. On their foreheads. Two, it'll be a plus on Mock Turtleneck Boy's resume. He'd be a lock to return next season. Is it wrong to root against Michigan with the basketball program hanging in the balance?

Who thought it would ever come do this? A significant part of the Michigan fanbase hope that both the football and basketball head coaches move on. It's something I never thought I'd see in my lifetime. Next thing you know, tOSU will get put on probation! What's that? They actually got a handslap? Then there's still hope...

1 comment:

  1. Big Al, I'm pretty sure you've already ruined my weekend with the image of what Dick Vitale yells in bed.

    On the bright side, I probably will lose weight as a result.