Sunday, September 07, 2008

Detroit Lions @ Atlanta Falcons live blog - 2nd quarter: Just kill me now. Put me out of my misery

Kitna throws a 5 yard out on 3rd and 9, Lions have to punt...again. I'm...I'm...I'm at a loss. A total loss.

At least Harris does his job, his punt pins the Falcons inside their 10 yard line. OK, that's 3 players who've shown up. CJ, Harris and Smith.

By the way, the Falcons have over 140 yards rushing. Ryan is 4-4. As I type this, Turner blows through several missed tackles on 2nd down, gets 10. Then he gets 7 more on 1st. The Falcons have to have over 150 yards on the ground!

Finally, the Lions stop a running play, Sims takes Turner down for a short loss. 3rd and 4.

The Lions take a defensive TIME OUT? What in the fucking Hell is going on? Seriously, what the fuck? This team is a joke.

Sims stops Norwood on 3rd down. Baby steps, I guess. You got to start somewhere.

Lions will start at their 37 after the punt. I'm about ready to start drinking heavily.

Kitna gets 9 on a short pass to CJ. JC says the Lions need small victories, or some such bullshit. What they need is a fucking enema.

3rd and 1. And the Lions have a FALSE START! Where's that damn accountability and discipline now, Rod? 3rd and 6.

Kitna gets 6 1/2 on a pass to McDonald. The drive stays alive. Smith gets 8 on 1st down. He's one of the few Lions who appears capable of breaking a play.

Smith makes a nice juke move, gets the 1st down. The Lions are trying to run the ball, you gotta give them that.

Kitna looks for CJ in the end zone, incomplete. What? There's a flag? Illegal touch, as Johnson went out of bounds before he touched the ball. Christ, what next?

Nice, Dan Campbell open in a middle seam, Kitna hits him at the Atlanta 21.

Kitna looks for CJ in the corner of the end zone...Ball is high, gets a hand on it, but can't hold on. 2nd down.

The Lions take their 2nd TO, with over 6 minutes left in the half. Wonder-fucking-ful game management, Rod.

The Lions really, really, really need a TD here...

Kitna is 9-12-89. Smith is 8-25. Ooooo, FOX shows Kitna blowing off the Lion' passing coordinator, KIPPY! Brown. The God Warrior ain't happy, and is embarrassing the coaches.

Kitna hits Williams for a 1st down inside the 10. Rudi Johnson is in, and gets nothing on 1st and goal. Huh? Leave Smith in, DAMMIT! LEAVE HIM IN!

Kitna scrambles, looks like he could run it into the end zone...But he throws high to a covered CJ instead. Great. Just great. 3rd and goal.

The 3rd down pass to Williams isn't even close...But there's a flag! Illegal contact on the Falcons. Lions keep the ball, 1st and goal.

And Kitna TAKES ANOTHER TIME OUT! The Lions used their last one. Lots of yelling on the sidelines, Kitna is pissed. At least he's upset, but how about making a play?

Smith gets a couple off tackle. 2nd and goal from the 3.

Yes! Smith up the gut for the TD! I think Kitna was upset that Smith wasn't in the game. Makes sense to me. 21-7, Falcons, a hair over 4 minutes left in the half.

I've calmed down some since the 1st quarter debacle, but I'm still not happy. No way in Hell should the Lions be down 2 scores to the Falcons. Just no fucking way.

UGH! Special teams blow the kick coverage, Norwood takes the ball into Lions territory. FIRE KWAN! The Lions catch a break, Norwood was barely out of bounds at the 37.

Why does Stan Kwan still have a job? The Lions' special teams have blown goats for the last 2 seasons.

Ryan has his 1st incompletion, leaves a 3rd and 10.

SACK! Dewayne White takes down Ryan. Falcons punt, Furry with a fair catch at the 31, with just under 3 minutes left.

The game has finally turning. The Lions didn't realize the season started till they were down 3 TD's. They are looking better. Not good, but better.

I spoke too soon, pass interference on Roy Williams. Shit. 1st and 20. As Roseann Roseannadanna used to say, "It's always something!"

2 minute warning. Thank fucking God this half from HELL is almost over.

OH MY GOD.
Ernie Sims is being taken off the field on a cart. It's an ankle injury. SHIT! When it rains, IT MOTHERFUCKING POURS!

It's 3rd and long...Kitna has plenty of time, and no one is open downfield. A dump off falls incomplete. So much for the Lions wide outs dominating, huh?

Harris punts, and Atlanta's blocker on the Lions' gunner DRILLS his own returner! He holds on to the ball, Falcons take over at their own 11.

The Lions force a 3 and out, as Paris Lenon blows a sure thing pick. Right through his hands. You fucking dumb ass! ARRRRGH! The Lions have been trying to replace that SOB for 2 seasons, yet he's still on the field. Jordon Dizon, where are you!? Oh yeah, you're not good enough to start.

Lions take over at their own 30. A screen to Smith gets 7. Kitna looks deep on 2nd down, hit CJ crossing the middle! GOGOGOGOGOGOGO! He's down at the 21 after a 50 yard gain! But there's no time outs!

Kitna throws the end zone jump ball on 2nd down..........Williams is in the corner...He brings it in!

TDTDTDTD! Beautiful catch! Both feet are in! FUCK YES! Wait...there's gonna be a booth review.

As we go to break, we hear someone on the FOX crew say, "That's a slam dunk." Agreed, there is no way the refs can turn the TD over, it was an obvious catch. Eve3n in real time, it was obvious Williams was in bounds. And it's good.

Lions only down 1 score, 21-14, with 0.16 left in the half. The 2nd quarter has been all Lions.

Hanson dribbles the ball downfield, Falcons down at the 34. They'll take a knee. 21-14 bad guys, with 30 minutes left.

That's the half. Wow. Just...Wow. What a weird damn half. Vassavagina tells us this is the highest scoring 1st half in the NFL today. I would think so, dipshit.

Quick stat rundown.

Ryan: 5-8-82-1TD
Turner: 10-135-2TD's
Jenkins: 1-62-1 TD

Kitna: 16-22-189-1 TD
Smith: 10-29-1 TD rushing, 3-20 receiving
Johnson: 5-86
Williams: 2-34-1 TD

I need a drink. Back for the 3rd shortly.

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