Monday, September 08, 2008

Detroit Lions @ Atlanta Falcons: The aftermath - Love stinks

24 hours after the Lions crushed our souls with another in a long line of inept performances, the reviews are in. They ain't pretty.

Dave at Gorilla Crouch asks, "How soon is now?"

“Do you believe in now?”

That’s the Detroit Lions’ tagline to try and sell tickets to their games. They’d better hope people who are considering supporting their team base their decisions on nifty marketing phrases rather than the actual product on the field as the Lions were embarrassed by the Atlanta Falcons in their season opener. That’s probably a safe bet though as who in their right mind would support the worst franchise in professional sports?

Fortunately, we sheep that are the fans of the worst franchise in professional sports may have finally seen enough. I don't expect to see many, if any, sellouts at Ford Field in 2008. There still may be a chance for a sellout this Sunday, as it is the home opener, plus the place will be full of drunk, stinking of brats, Cheeseheads. After that, all bets are off.

"Do you believe in in now?" Laughable. I don't believe in much, but I believe in the soul, the coc...No, I"m not going to that old well again. I'll just say I do not believe in the Lions. How could you? Honestly, how could you?

Let me go off on a rant for a second. I realize there are some fans out there cough//Mlive loons//cough who somehow believe you are not a "true fan" if you rip on the Lions, don't "beeeeliveee" in them. That a "real fan" always cheers for their team, rain or shine, for better or worse. What sanctimonious bullshit.

Just because I refuse to be bent over by the Lions year after year, and I'm extremely vocal about my displeasure, doesn't make me any less of a fan. Do not ever lecture me about fandom!

If buying into everything that comes out of Allen Park, and thinking Rod Marineli is a good coach because he says all the right things, makes me less of a fan, then so be it. Sorry, but I refuse to be a mindless sheep.

If the fans don't show their displeasure, nothing will never, ever improve. Well, they have, and they haven't, but you just can't stop tilting at windmills. If there is one thing being a fan of the Lions does to you, it makes tilt at windmill after windmill. One of these days, it just might work. Well, that's what I keep telling myself. Self-delusion is a wonderful thing.

I love the Lions, always have, always will. But it's a tough love.

Christy takes a break from blogging all things Red Wings, and lowers her high standards to talk Lions at Behind the Jersey:

So when I say that I’m not surprised the Lions lost their opening game, I truly mean it. Sure many of the pundits predicted a Lions win over the Atlanta Falcons and this was certainly a more winnable game for the Lions, but their loss and lacking of grabbing any lead during the game doesn’t surprise me any more. I refuse to predict a winning season for this organization any more because I don’t believe it will happen yet. Every year, we find ways to bring in some talented players via the draft, but struggle to put the talented pieces together in the puzzle called the NFL season.

I have to admit I had this game pegged as a Lions' win. Christy knew better. Shows what I know. Nothing should surprise me when it comes to the Lions, but that is the one way they manage to exceed our already low expectations. Losing in such an unimaginably awful way was a surprise to me. It shouldn't have been, but I let the exhibition season cloud my judgment. My bad.

Eno, ever the historian, alludes to the 1969 Steelers at Out of Bounds. And no, he's NOT comparing Mr. Pound The Rock to Hall of Famer Chuck Knoll, but notes the Lions actually lost to one of the worst Steelers teams ever. It's history repeating itself:

But then the Steelers went on to lose the remaining 13 games on their schedule. And the Lions regrouped to finish 9-4-1. The rookie Steelers coach? Just someone named Chuck Noll.

Now, I don't mean to say that the Atlanta Falcons will go 1-15 (although the Carolina Panthers did that a few years back, with a rookie QB in tow, after winning on Opening Day) -- and I ESPECIALLY don't mean to say that the Lions will finish 11-5 or something wacky like that. I just mean to point out that, as usual, just when you think that the Lions have done something new in the negative column, turns out that in their inglorious past they already did it.

It's worth pointing out that '69 Detroit team was on the rise, unlike the '08 version, making the playoffs the next season...Only to lose in one of the most crushing ways possible, 5-0. Who could possibly lose a playoff game 5-0? The Detroit Lions, that's who.

When it comes to history, I tend to believe early 20th century philosopher George Santayana, who said (paraphrasing), "Those who cannot learn from the past are doomed to repeat it." He must have been a fan of the Detroit Lions, as that platitude is as true as ever. I am also a follower of those late 20th century philosophers, The J. Geils Band, who quite percipiently said about my lifelong love of the Lions, "I've had the blues, the reds and the pinks, one thing's for sure...Love stinks."

After reading my day long descent into profane lunacy, another hockey blogger decided action had to be taken. The Chief at Abel To Yzerman offers we Lions fans sanctuary:

Today, I say this: put them down. Once and for all, listen to your friends and family who have tearfully pleaded with you for years. Your addiction has affected everything. Relationships. Employment. Your own mental health. You’re gaunt and emotionally wrecked. Aimless and wallowing at rock bottom. Mark the date. September 8th, 2008. It’s going to be hard. There is no doubt about that. But we’re here to help you.

But it's more than sanctuary. Our fathers led us astray, allowing us to fall into the Lions' clutches, cursing us to a life of sports desperation. A2Y is doing an intervention...

 Don't be scared. Homer's here to help...

We’ve been watching. For almost two decades we’ve stood back and witnessed your decay. Today it stops. We’re stepping in. It’s an intervention because you can’t be trusted to help yourselves. We’ve purchased your tickets. Pack a bag, a small one. This is Homer. He’s going to put you on the plane and he’s going to stay with you until you reach your destination. Don’t try to understand him. None of us can either.

We offer you this: The Detroit Red Wings.

As Baroque, a long-time commenter here at TWFE and one of the "A2Y 19," reminded us in the comments yesterday, "October 9th - Detroit Red Wings season opener. :)"

Thank fucking God.

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1 comment:

  1. I survived the first half. Well, wait. That's probably not the right term. I glanced toward the TV frequently and fought the urge to watch Brett Favre on CBS. Then at the half turned off TV, went outside and enjoyed the day. At least Lions football is good for getting you out of the house.