Monday, August 25, 2008

Morons in the media: Case number 002*

SI's Peter King, in his Monday MMQB column, writes about the Bengals, and their asinine re-signing of the number 5 (with a bullet) criminal on the FBI's "Most Wanted" list, wide out Chris Henry. Obviously, the Cincy media, and most of Cincy's fans, is aghast. But King felt the need to dis the continually dumped upon fanbase by finding some mouth breathing moron's comment on a Cincinnati Enquirer message board.

The signing is ridiculous and reprehensible, and (Enquirer columnist Paul Daugherty) Daugherty is overwhelmingly correct. But read the message boards in Bengal Land, and you get a different story. This from "XElitist03,'' on the newspaper's Bengals forum: "paul daugherty should quit his job before he gets fired. he is miserable. he is more miserable than chris henry. i would much rather have chris henry in cincinnati gang-banging than paul writing another article for the newspaper.''

Thanks for that fine bit of perspective, XElitist03.
It was easy for the Bengals to find Henry. 
He was in court...

Let me clue you in, Mr. Media Elitist. The LAST place you want to go for anything remotely close to intelligent discourse is a newspaper forum. The likelier someone will spew racist/sexist/ignorant bile on a newspaper forum or comment thread, the lower the IQ of said someone. The above "gang-banging" quote being a prime example of my "mouth breathing morons post on newspaper websites" corollary. (I need to come up with a snappier name for my corollary, like Bill Simmons and his 100 or so...)

I'm guessing the quoted XElitist03 has the mental acuity of an institutionalized baboon. (I apologize to any baboons who might be reading TWFE. I'm all for baboons. Clyde should have won an Oscar for "Every Which Way But Loose." Wait, wasn't Clyde an orangutan? Well, you get my drift.)

Fish wraps think they are being oh so very web 2.0 by allowing their "readers" to comment on articles. By the spelling errors, bizarre syntax and insane logic used, I doubt any forum commenter can read past a 2nd grade level, let alone comprehend how despicable they make themselves appear. (I apologize to any 2nd graders currently reading TWFE. Kids, be cool, stay in school!)

It's just as bad in Detroit. The Freep and Mlive allow comments, believing it makes them appear more internet savvy, when it only attracts the web's lowest common denominator. After reading those comments for a few months when I was doing a fish wrap "Comment of the Day," I've never been able to recover the numerous brain cells destroyed in my masochistic mission to document their sheer idiocy. (Thus my confusing baboons and orangutans.)

It isn't hard to find smart sports fans online. A quick Google search would ghave allowed King to find plenty of Bengals fans upset over the re-signing of a common criminal. But it wouldn't have fit the misguided point SI's supposed finest was trying to make.

It's all too easy for the media to piss all over fans thanks to newspapers and their clueless mishandling of comment threads and forums. It's the ugly underbelly of the web, where you can find thousands just like XElitist03.

Want to find the most disgusting and vile take on any story? Find a newspaper website that allows comments. It's clear Peter King already figured that one out.

*What's case number 001? Anything written by Rob Parker. But you already knew that, didn't you?


  1. There was a time I might have disagreed, Al, but that time has passed. Newspaper comments are a waste of everyone's time. I don't bother reading them. it's just idiots bickering. Just like forums, for the most part. Not all forums stink, but many do.

    My paper started off with allowing comments but has since turned off the option. I am glad for that.

  2. You're working for smart people, Kurt.

    There are some good, solid forums on the web. MotownSports and The Swamp at The Sports Frog to name 2.

    But all too often, especially at big sites, it's just as you say. Idiocy abounds. Go to the comments after articles at Yahoo, AOL, the big newspapers, the Gawker sites, and it's nothing but endless bickering with a fair amount of trolling.

    Reading the BS going on in internet comment threads and forums, I swear we're seeing the devolution of mankind.