Chad Ocho Cinco? That's child's play. How about "George What's The Snap Count?"

With Bengals' wide receiver Chad Johnson changing his legal name to Chad Ocho Cinco, it got me to thinking. Rather than change their last name to reflect their number (Jon Kitna Ocho, Dewayne Smith Nueve Nueve), what if some of the Detroit Lions changed their last name to reflect their true nature? So I took the liberty...

Jon Kitna "God Warrior"

Drew Stanton "Injured Reserve"

Dan Orlovsky "Clipboard Hero"

George Foster "Yellow Flag"

Roy Williams "Loudmouth"

Calvin Johnson "Freak"

Tatum Bell "System Back"

Kevin Smith "Smith"

Jeff Backus "Overpaid"

Jason Hanson "Methuselah"

Cory Redding "One Year Wonder"

Shaun Cody "Bust"

Brian Calhoun "Bust Too"

Chuck Darby "Coaches Pet"

Brian Kelly "Coaches Pet Too"

Paris Lenon "Sucks"

Alex Smith "Sucks Too"

Jordon Dizon "Bench Warmer"

Gosder Cherilus "Bench Warmer Too"

Avieon Cason "Really Sucks"

Artose Pinner "Retread"

Jerome Felton "Fullback By Default"

Shaun McDonald "I Miss Mike Martz"

Mike Furrey "So do I"

Casey FitzSimmons "Irish Guy"

Andre Fluellen "Flu Girl's Name"

Stephen Peterman "My First Name Isn't J"

Kalvin Pearson "It Really Is Spelled With A K"

Rod Marinelli "Didn't Know What I Was Getting Into When I Took This Godforsaken Job From Hell"

Matt Millen "Idiotic Dumb Ass Suck Up Hope Killing Moron"

William Clay Ford "HUH?"