Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Clichés remain the refuge of a newspaper hack

The longer I'm a sports fan, the longer I blog about sports, the more bullshit I see being spewed from the quickly dying medium commonly known as a newspaper.

For the most part, with a few exceptions, beat writers don't insult their readers with uneducated, meant to irritate tripe. I don't always agree with their coverage, and they are all too often in lockstep, reporting the same exact stories. Nevertheless, they are on the front lines, actually reporting.

Columnists, on the other hand...

There's a reason more and more fans are getting their sports opinion from the web. Because most columnists are phoning it in. The latest example of hackery I found tonight in the Freep. No, it's not a piece from the usual hacks (Though they are often guilty themselves), but a Bernie Lincicome column reprinted from the Rocky Mountain News.

I'm not even going to bother rebutting what this clueless fool says about Detroit and the Red Wings. It's the same tired clichés we've been subjected to in the past, by every newspaper hack in the damn country. Detroit's dirty, it's crime ridden, it's not "Hockeytown," as it should be called "Loserville," Hasek is old, so are the rest of the Wings, the octopus tradition is stupid...


I know this clown is attempting to put semi- coherent sentences together for a Denver readership, Avs fans who probably believe this was an awful piece of writing as well. If you are going to do the same flea bitten, overdone, unimaginative "our city is so much better than the opposition city" column every other piss ant, know-nothing fishwrap columnist in the fucking country feels the need to commit to print, at least be creative and funny about it.

What actually made me laugh was this Lincicome character is writing as if Detroit-Colorado is still a rivalry! It hasn't been one in quite some time, since the moment Patrick Roy tried his "Statue of Liberty" move in 2002. Which is also the last time the Avalanche were actually a factor in the Western Conference.

Hell, I'm guessing this guy is as much of a bandwagon rider most columnists are, only writing about hockey when the playoffs come around. Which is why he has to stoop down to the level of turning in a column full of bad jokes and insults, as he knows little about the sport to begin with.

Utterly lame columns as this are a prime example as to why newspapers are an endangered species. Your daily paper is too often full of opinions spewed from old, the stuck in the past curmudgeons who think an IBM Selectric is advanced technology. In other words, it's the same shit, different day and city.

In fact, the Freep is just as guilty, as the only reason they printed Lincicome's drivel is the same reason Drew Sharp still has a job. To get a pissy, knee-jerk reaction out of Detroiters. In the world of fishwraps, a bad reaction is better than the type they usually get, which is none. If they sell a few extra papers, and get a few more page views in the process, even if it's in anger, then they're happy.

Who needs it? I don't. Those of you who have realized how homogenized and dumbed down the newspapers have become, and now get the vast majority of their news and sports opinion from the web, don't either.

We have better things to do, like seek out educated, thoughtful, well written and funny sports opinion on blogs and web sites. Finding the same in newspapers is as rare as a Nick Lidstrom goal from center ice. It happens on the rare occasion, but you should never, ever expect it.


  1. As someone who is subjected to the almost daily drivel of the Denver Post, I can only say that Lincicome is a cheap second rate imitation of Woody Paige, who is a complete butt-head, as his performances on the worldwide leader's 5:00 PM eastern time fluff reveal. In fact, Woody specializes in this brand of stupid column. The only decent columnist on the Post is Terry Frei, who actually knows something about hockey and cares about it as well. Mostly the Denver writers would fit right in with the unlamented Joe Falls, the classic cookie cutter columnist with dung for brains.

  2. Wow, I remember this guy from years ago down in Chicago...I think he was with the Tribune, but I'm not sure. Back during the Super Bowl Shuffle years. Frankly I don't remember why he left--to be honest I thought he was dead.