Wednesday, January 16, 2008

What was Rich Rodriguez shredding?

Seriously, what was so important that Rich Rodriguez "allegedly" spent hours upon hours "allegedly" destroying? Inquiring minds in Michigan and West Virginia would really like to know. I'm going to take a guess from the point of view from each fanbase...

Who knew such a lowly office appliance could cause so much grief?

What WVU fans swear was in Coach Rod's shredder:

The paper trail of his NCAA violations
Credit card receipts from PED vendors
Canceled checks from paying his players
Cooked accounting books
Counterfeit 100 dollar bills
Forged term papers
Fake time cards for phantom jobs
Phone records regarding calls to hookers and drug dealers
Betting slips
All records of his throwing the Pitt game
His WVU diploma
The broken hearts of WVU fans

What Michigan fans believe Coach Rod was shredding:

Cabbage for cole slaw
Potatoes for hash browns
Junk mail
West Virginia newspapers
His WVU contract
His $4 million dollar buyout agreement
The broken hearts of WVU fans

What Rich Rodriguez actually shred:

Enough non-vital information to make the his replacement's job harder, and piss off the WVU administration, but not enough to cause legal trouble.

Whichever of my scenarios are correct, I'm sure we've haven't heard the last of "filegate," "shreddergate," or whatever "gate" name the MSM gives it.

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