Sunday, December 30, 2007

Only 4 torturous quarters left in the season: 1st quarter Lions-Packers thoughts

The NFL season is 3 hours away from ending for the Detroit Lions. 3 excruciating hours.

The Lions were exposed as frauds by their road game ineptitude, so it's quite fitting that their most disappointing season since 2000 ends on the road, against a team they haven't beaten in their own stadium in 16 seasons. Even with the Pack having nothing to play for, I don't expect the road losing streak to end today.

We are watching live the always frozen tundra at Green Bay's Lambeau Field. We are joined by the FOX C-team of Kenny Albert, Moose Johnston, and sideline reporter personality, who's only notable accomplishment is being a fat guy on a Super Bowl winning team, Tony Siragusa.

As Mike Martz is a dead coordinator walking, I'm curious as to how he calls today's game. Will he go out in a blaze of glory, having Jon Kitna throw the ball 60 times? We shall see...

Holy SHIT! Avieon Cason takes the kickoff, rumbles 52 yards, only brought down by a illegal trip! With the tripping penalty tacked on, the Lions start at the Pack 32! I didn't see that coming.

On 2nd and 9, it's CASON(?) catching a swing pass, getting a 1st down at the Packers 20! Cason will see plenty of time, with Tatum Bell, despite the season ending injury to Kevin Jones, being deactivated. Bell's bags are already packed. He can't get out of the D quick enough...

2 TJ Duckett runs leave the Lions 3rd and long. Kitna drops back...Furry has a step on the DB in the end zone...And is overthrown! Bad throw by Kitna, who had plenty of time.

Jason Hanson comes on, lines up for a 35 yard chip shot FG attempt. It's good! 3-0 Lions over the Packers on the frozen tundra.

The Pack will start at their own 39 to start their 1st drive. On 2nd and 5, Favre rolls right...There's no Lion within 20 yards of him...And Favre strolls 19 yards into Lions territory. The aged Favre is running wild! Boy howdy, were the Lions fished in on the misdirection.

On 2nd and 4 from the Lion 28, it's a handoff to Ryan Grant...He cuts back...And is UNTOUCHED as he glides into the end zone. That 4 play drive couldn't have been easier for the Pack. The Lions D was nowhere to be found.

After the PAT, it's 7-3, the playoff bound Packers lead the Motor City Kitties.

HUH? The Pack tries an onsides kick? What the fuck? the Lions easily recover, and will start at the Pack 45. Strange call for such a meaningless game.

2 Duckett runs have the Lions facing 3rd and 3. Albert is going on about Marinelli wanting EFFORT, while the Lions are showing little.

Kitna drops back...Calvin Johnson is wide open on a crossing pattern, and DROPS the fucking ball. That would have been a 1st down! CJ has been disappointing, to say the very least. Remember the talk of his winning rookie of the year?

Moose is busy making excuses for him from the broadcast booth. "Lions fans haven't seen the real Calvin Johnson!" We better not have, or the Lions are FUCKED.

Nice play by Mike Furrey to down the punt at the Packer 3 yard line. Hey, at least one guy showed up.

2 Grant runs have the Pack facing 3rd and 6. And the Lions have to call a time out for not having aenough men on the field. It's the last game of the season, and they still don't have stuff like who's supposed to be in on a certain formation down? Says a lot about Marinelli.

On 3rd down, Grant has a hole big enough for Siragusa to run through, getting 20 yards! So much for Ernie Sims saying they were going to keep Grant from getting a 1000 yard season! He's has more than half the 101 yards he needs in the 1st 10 minutes of the game!

Favre fades back...And hits MIA Bubba Franks for 24 yards! The Lions are mailing this one in so far.

2 incompetions have the Pack 3rd and 10 at the Lions 49. A stop would be nice...

Not gonna happen, as a swing pass to a back gets 12, and the 1st down. Then a Favre pass to Koren Robinson has the Packers at the Lions 16.

1st and 10, FLAG! Lions are offsides. Figures. 1st and 5 from the 11. I expect a Packers TD.

A Favre to Jones pass gets the Pack another 1st down. Word from the bench says Grant has a stingers, and may not be back. He may not get his 1000 yards after all.

On 1st and goal, Favre with a 3 step drop...Robinson is wide open in the end zone. Touchdown Packers.

After the PAT, it's 14-3 Pack. The Lions are once again playing like utter shit on the road. How can anyone say the Lions are improved, despite the 7 wins, when they are getting blown out in the 1st half of road games?

Lions will start at their 27 after more typical Cason return.

Martz has abandoned the running game, has he has Kitna looking deep on 1st down...He looks for CJ down the middle...PICK at the Lions 41! Awful pass. Just awful. Play Orlovsky! Play O'Sullivan! Play ANYONE ELSE!

An end around, and a Brandon Jackson run have the Pack at the Lions 24. A screen to Jackson gets 13 more yards. This is just too fucking easy. 1st and 10 at the 11.

The quarter ends on a Jackson 1 yard run. Thank fucking God.

After 1 quarter, the Packers have dominated the Lions in every phase of the game. For all the talk from Marinelli about "Every down" and "Pounding the rock," his team knows this game means dick, and are playing like it.

14-3 Packers over the Lions.

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