Sunday, December 30, 2007

I hate the Lions: 4th quarter Lions-Packers thoughts

The Packers start the 4th quarter having to punt, Furrey, is back for the Lions. It's a MONSTER! It's over Furrey's head...And it's downed at the 1 yard line. Jesus, that was a 73 yard punt!

The Packers will challenge, claiming Furrey touched the ball, making it 1st down, Packers ball at the 1. I have no idea what they were looking at, but the replays show that it was close, but Furrey didn't touch the punt.

Play stands as called. Thanks for wasting 5 minutes of my life, Green Bay.

The Lions are bunched tight, and Duckett falls forward for maybe a yard.


Kitna drops back on 2nd down, ALMOST steps on the end line when rolling out, then throws it away. That was close... The Lions say "Fuck it," and just run Duckett off tackle on 3rd down, getting a yard. Miller and Brandstatter are calling out the Lions for pussing out on 3rd down when they are losing by 3 scores.

Brandstatter: "A dive wouldn't have been my choice."

Now the damn Wolverines mouthpiece gets brave, in the final quarter of the season, offering a little criticism towards the Lions. Will wonders ever cease?

That Pack will take over on the Lions 40 after the punt. Let's get this game over...

2 runs, and a Nall completion to a 6th string wide out, have the Pack at the Lions 19.

You can see Nall gaining confidence in his throws. Who wouldn't when playing against the worst defense in the NFL?

It's now 3rd and 9 from the 18. Nall calls a time out. Fuck me. Run clock, you SOB!

The TO does no good, as Ball overthrows his receiver on 3rd down. Crosby will come on for the 38 yard field goal attempt.

It's good. The Pack extend their lead to 34-13, 10 minutes left in the Lions season. 10 minutes too many...

The Lions will start at the 31 after another meh Cason return.

A Kitna to McDonald connection gets 19 yards. FOX tells us that completion has put Kitna over the 4000 yard mark on the season.

He's the 8th QB in NFL history, and the 1st Lion, to have consecutive 4000 yard passing season. He has another record as well. The 2 emptiest 4000 yard seasons in NFL history.

On 2nd and 10 from the Pack 36, Kitna throws towards a double covered Johnson in the end zone, but overthrows EVERYONE.

On a 3rd and 10 pass, the Lions are called for holding. Make it 3rd and 20. False start on Woody, make it 3rd and 25. That's the Li0ns I know and HATE!

Kitna is pressured, dumps a pass to Cason, who DROPS it. Typical Lions. They will have to punt. Can we just punt the entire damn season?

After the kick, the Pack will start at their own 15, will 6:52 left in the season.

Let's hope the Packers run clock. So far, so good, 2 runs have the Pack facing 3rd and 7, with 5:30 left in the season. GO CLOCK!

Ah, Hell. Packers call time. Fuck!

FOX pimps the BCS, the Lions radio homers are talking Patriots. I'm fed up with both broadcasts...

A 3rd down run is short of the 1st, Pack will punt. Under 5 minutes left in this cock punch of a season.

Kitna comes back out as the Lions will start at their own 27. WHY PLAY KITNA? It's well past time to see what Orlovsky or O'Sullivan can do.

We already know what Kitna is capable of doing. He will put up empty stats, and turn the ball over at the most inopportune times. Book it for 2008!

A few Kitna completions have the Lions 1st and 10 at the Packers 46, with 3:50 left. GO CLOCK!

A pair of completions have Detroit to the Green Bay 26, with 3:09 left. GO GO GO CLOCK! RUN RUN RUN CLOCK!

Om 2nd and 10 from the 26, Kitna looks in the end zone for McDonald. He has a couple of steps on the DB, guessed it...Kitna overthrows the receiver....again.

A dropped pass by Duckett have the Lions 4th and 10 at the 26. This may be the last offensive play of the season! We can only hope...

Kitna drops back...It's a dump off to Sean McHugh at the 20, and that's where the drive ends. 5 yards short of the 1st down. How Harrington-esque, you think?

We have the 2 minute warning. I think we can close the book on the Lions season.

They'll finish 7-9, wth a 6-2 first half, and a 1-7 second half. 1 and fucking 7. 1 God damn win in the last 8 games, when the pressure was on. I hate to say it, but I can't think of anything more fitting...What a bunch of gutless wonders.

The Packers are taking a knee. It's all over but the crying. The Packers take a final knee, and the Lions season is mercifully over.

Just blow this team up. I honestly believe that this is the high water mark for this group of Lions. I have no faith in Marinelli, who has only shown that he talks a good game, as he sure as Hell can't coach one. Mike Martz is toast, so there will be a different offense next season. The other coordinator is Marinelli's son-in-law, so he's going nowhere, even though the Lions have the lowest ranked D in the NFL. Tampa 2 my fucking ass.

Let's not even talk about the moron that hired them all. We all know he's not going anywhere...

To be honest, I had more hope at the end of last season, even though they had a much worse record, than I do now.

That's life as a Lions fan. There's no hope. No hope at all.


  1. "That's life as a Lions fan. There's no hope. No hope at all."

    Never said more perfectly. I only recently got turned onto your blog so please PLEASE post next season. As a lifetime Lions fan this was just another season of obliterated dreams and false hope. Everybody needs to be fired in that .org

    Thanks for writing my new favorite lions commentary keep up the good work!

  2. Two nice, depressing ways to break down the score:

    One quarter of Brett Favre 21, four quarters of Lions 13.

    Craig Nall 13, Lions 13.

    Any questions?

  3. Thanks for the kind words, vanlandw! The 2nd anniversary on TWFE is coming up, and I'm still having a ball writing the blog. So I'm going nowhere. There will be some changes over the next few months, but TWFE will stay basically the same. I hope you hang around all year long, not just for Lions season!

    jvwalt, those stats say it all. I do have a question, though. The Lions are soul crushingly bad, and will remain so. Why do we punish ourselves by being fans of this team? It's not logical. I'll be back next season, though it makes no sense. I guess there's no logic in fandom...