Sunday, December 09, 2007

That was painful: 4th quarter Lions - Cowboys thoughts

As the 4th quarter begins, we have the Cowboys facing a crucial 3rd and goal call. Romo's in the shotgun...It's Barber...He's upended at the 1 yard line! 4th and goal! YES!

Dallas is going for it! Oh, shit...

SHITSHITSHIT! Barber strolls into the end zone untouched, as a hole opened in the middle of the line, just as the water opened up for Moses. It was that fucking big...

37-21, Lions are still leading, but they may be reeling...

Cason takes the kick at the goal line, and he breaks it all the way to the 35! Nice, but if the Lions had someone, anyone, with speed returning kicks...No sense in dreaming about what you don't have...

Kitna starts out throwing...finds McDonald at the sideline for 13, and a 1st down at the 48!

It's a stretch play for Jones...He turns the corner! Jones is all the way to the Dallas 33, an 18 yard gain! Lions are responding well after the Dallas score!

Kitna's back to throw again...It's McHugh in the flat! 1st down at the Dallas 12! YESYESYES!

On 1st down, Kitna throws the ball away...2nd down...A quick toss to to CJ, but he can't break the tackle...Only gets 1.

Shit, CJ gets flagged for spiking the ball in frustration, delay of game, now 3rd and 14 at the 17.

And the drive fizzles out, as Kitna rolls right, and just throws the ball away. God damn it!

Hanson's on from 35, to make it a 2 score game. SHITSHITSHIT! Hanson's kick is wide fucking right...Just missed it. SON OF A BITCH! GOD DAMN IT! Oh yeah, fuck me...

That's 5 red zone possessions, and they've only converted for 2 TD's.

The 'Boys start from their 25. 1st down pass is incomplete. FUCK! Romo hits a streaking Crayton at the Lions 40 fucking 5!

Jones gets 8 on 1st down, then it's Romo to Hurd for the 1st down at the Lions 30. Rogers waddles off the field to get another blow. JESUS!

Romo looks to get 7...Incomplete. 2nd and 10.

Romo to Jones nets 5, 3rd and 5. Crowd is going nuts! Rogers is till on the fucking bench! The out of shape fuck is killing the Lions by not being able to stay on the field!

SHIT! Witten converts the 3rd down with a catch at the 17. Ah, Hell, now it's Romo to Crayton underneath, he's down at the Lions 5. This team is killing me!

1st and goal. False start, as Witten finally screws up, and fires off before the snap! 1st and goal from the Lions 10.

Dallas has to take a time out to avoid a delay of game penalty. The last 2 plays have been Lions-esque! 6:11 left in the game.

Shitfuck! The Lions can't cover Witten, as Romo drills a pass to him at the goal line....But the Lions are screaming they HAVE THE BALL! Refs agree! It's Lions ball, Witten fumbled!

What the...Oh my God, the Cowboys are suddenly playing like the Lions! Holy shit!

Lions take over, and it's Jones up the middle...But it's blown dead, Dallas took a time out.

1st and 10 again, Jones gets 4.

You're shitting me! Jones and Kitna nearly fuck up the handoff, Jones is down inside the 1. AAAARRRRGH!

Kitna's back to pass in the end zone...It's McDonald running an out at the 14...Complete! 1st fucking down! YES!

Lions lose 5 thanks to an illegal shift, 1st and 15 at the 9. Kitna hits McDonald at the 16, making it 2nd and 8. Come on, keep the clock running, just over 4 minutes left...

So much for that, as Kitna rolls right and throws the ball away. Huge play coming up...

Kitna's back to pass...IT'S MCDONALD! 1st down at he Lions 36! Fuck YES!

Jones gets 2 up the gut, clock running 2:45 and ticking...

Damn it to fucking Hell! Jones is hit behind the line, loses a yard! Dallas takes their last time out with 2:26 left.

3rd an 9, the biggest play of the game! SHIT! Kitna is pressured, and a dying quail of a throw falls incomplete... SHIT!!!

Harris' punt goes out of bounds at the Dallas 17, 2:15 left. Jesus, this is huge...

A dump off to Barber gets 6 yards, and that's the 2 minute warning. Let's all catch out breath, this has been a furiously played game that should be over. God damn Hanson and that missed field goal...

2:00 left, Dallas is out of time outs, and have 77 yards to go.

Romo is pressured, pass incomplete. 3rd and God damn 4!

AWWW SHIT! It's Witten for 13, he's down at the 34. It's Witten again, out of bounds at the 40. 2nd and 6.

Romo throws a slant to's behind him, and dropped! 3rd and 6!

Romo's back...He's hit...BALL!!!! It goes right to Paris Lennon, who kicks it back to Dallas, Cowboys recover. FALL ON THE FUCKING BALL YOU DUMB SHIT!

God damn it! Romo finds Barber, he's down at the Lions 47! Romo clocks it!

Lions called for too many men on the field? Jesus! fucking typical, 2nd and 5.

It's a pass to Witten, he's out at the Lions 36!

Then it's Romo to Hurd at the Lions 20! Fuck!!! 0:28 left. Booth review, to make sure Hurd got both feet in and had possession.

Call stands. Make a stop D!

Romo's back...Dump off to Barber...He's out at the 16. 0:22 left. Shit...

2nd and 6. Romo's back to pass...


Romo to Witten, TD. 0:18 left.

If the season wasn't over before this game, it sure motherfucking is now.

PAT is good. 28-27 Cowboys. I hate the Lions. I really do.

As expected, the Lions kickoff return BLOWS, Middleton is down at the 15.

FIRE KWAN AND MILLEN! Fire them all, I don't care...

0:11 left, Kitna throws it away. 0:06 left. No hope left either.

Kitna finds Jones about 10 yards down the field...He drops it. That's my Lions!

0:01 left in the game, and the season.

Kitna drops back...He's hit...Ball's on the turf...Someone recovers, but it doesn't make a difference as to who. Game and season over.

Lions lose their 5th game in a row, fall to 6-7. They may not be mathematically eliminated from the playoffs, but realistically? They're toast. Stick a big fucking fork in them, the Lions are done.

You know what's really going to bother me? That the Lions will claim that they are thisclose to being a good team. You know what? Good teams don't have moral victories. Good teams don't miss field goals to ice games. Good teams don't allow the opposition to drive 83 yards, with no time outs, and score the game winning TD. Good teams don't have to pooch kick every kickoff in deathly fear of allowing a long return. Good teams don't piss away a playoff spot.

The Lions aren't a good team.

Fuck me for rooting for this steaming pule of shit that calls itself a football team.


  1. You never hold back emotion, al! Always more entertaining than the actual game.

  2. Another Black Eye12/09/2007 5:26 PM

    WHy do I let myself get so emotionally involved. Thinking they win this and with momentum they might just find a way to sneak into the playoffs. I don't know what is more pathetic the Lions or the fact that I get so pissed off that I have to go out to the garage, drink a couple of beers and cool down for an hour.

    I have watched all but 2 games and the 2 I couldn't watch I was listening on the radio. Why can't I quit the Lions. Am I a drug addict or an abused spouse? Either way I just can't walk away.

  3. As a fellow long-suffering Lions fan, I once again find myself in the painful position of rooting for more losses -- so we can get that much closer to the end of the Matt Millen Era. The first half of this season was a mirage, and if the Lions manage to finish with a halfway-respectable record, it will be touted as "progress" and we'll be stuck with the status quo.

    So... keep it up, boys! Three more losses to go!

  4. i can't help myself, Kurt. The Lions just get my blood boiling! Boiling, I tell you!

    ABY, you're preaching to the choir. I tell myself every season to not get emotionally involved, but just like Michael Corleone, just when I think I'm out, the Lions suck me back in! This season, that 6-2 start reeled me in, hook, line and sinker.

    jvwalt, doesn't that suck? You have to root for your team to hit rock bottom, to lose the remaining games, in vain hope that will be enough to cause a full front office and on field housecleaning. Fucking Lions...

  5. What the hell is the deal with the ugly black uniforms? Why can't they wear the Honolulu? I hope Martz learned a valuable lesson this game: when you balance the attack, you might actually be competitive. I give up on this shit team. I do have tickets for the KC game. The main reason I'm going is to take my dad. He's a life-long Lions fan and has never seen them in person. Maybe he might witness a victory against the sucky Chiefs. Then again, maybe not.