Saturday, August 04, 2007

As Joey Blue Skies whines incessantly, TWFE reads between the whines

With Atlanta's Michael Vick not playing football anytime soon, and probably never again, his backup, and new Falcons starter, the much reviled Joey Harrington, is in the news.

As I was pondering what to say about Detroit's latest QB fiasco (I'll have some thoughts on the Stanton to the IR decision later today), I ran across Fox Sports' John Czarnecki's recent interview with Detroit's previous QB fiasco, Joey Blue Skies. The happy footed one felt the need to explain why he's now ready to be a good quarterback, despite failing miserably in Detroit and Miami.

Here's Joey doing what he does best, looking 3 yards down field for his safety valve

As I read the interview, I just had to post my responses to Joey's complaints, excuses, and all around cluelessness.

"I feel like I've learned from my Lions' experience"

Learned what? That you sucked? It didn't take all that long for Lions fans to figure that out. Took fans of the Fish even less time.

"But I don't want to ever be over it because it reminds me of the type of player that I don't want to be."

Don't want to be the player that sucked? Makes sense, but I don't see it happening. You sucked in Detroit, sucked in Miami, and the odds are overwhelming that you'll suck in Atlanta.

"I was a different player in Detroit."

Well, a piano playing QB with happy feet and no accuracy definitely could be called "Different," to be sure. But different as in sucking less? No, you fit right in with a long line of QB failures in Detroit. Doesn't seem all that different to me.

"I came into a situation and tried to do too much for too many people."

Uh, to be honest, the only thing you did too much of was lose. I'm sure you didn't do nearly enough for Dre' Bly's taste, to say the very least.

"I tried to be something for everybody."

I'll agree that you sucked for everybody.

"What I learned from being that way is that I wasn't really being myself."

If you weren't Joey Harrington, then you were doing a damn fine imitation of Scott Mitchell at the end of his years in Detroit.

"And the ironic part is that in order to be whatever it takes to be a great quarterback you have to be a bit selfish sometimes and you have take care of your own well-being and it's something that I sacrificed in Detroit."

Considering your chronic happy feet, and innate ability to throw 3 yard dump offs on 3rd and 10, rather than stay in the pocket, look down field, and take a hit, Lions fans would agree that you did a damn good job of taking care of your own well-being. You want to talk about sacrifice? We fans sacrificed all hope of the Lions having even a .500 season during the Joey Blue Skies era.

"The first thing people told me was that the Lions hadn't had a quarterback since Bobby Layne."

And they still haven't...

"I was supposed to be some kind of savior. People told me I had one of the two toughest jobs in Detroit; the other is being goalie for the Red Wings."

A savior? More like a curse. A never ending curse of Detroit QB's who couldn't throw a ball in the ocean, hit the broad side of a barn, or, wonder of wonders, hit a receiver in stride. Actually, the 2 toughest jobs in Detroit are being a Lions fan ('nuff said), and the head of PR for the Lions. You try making the Matt Millen and William Clay Ford look good...

"The offense wasn't what I'm best suited for and I'll be the first person to tell you that."

The "Wet toast" offense blew royally, no question. Considering you've been discarded by 2 teams, and are the desperation choice of a 3rd, I think it's been confirmed that you're not suited to run ANY offense.

"The West Coast offense is based on a guy who can improvise, for a guy who can really make plays when things break down. I can do that, but I can't consistently do that."

Actually, we never saw you improvise, and then make a play, period. Unless throwing an incomplete pass into the feet of a running back in the flat on 3rd and long is considered consistently improvising.

"The way I am going to beat teams is by knowing more about them than they know about me. I mean, I'm going to know how to combat everything you are trying to do to me."

All the opposition needs to know about Joey Blue Skies is that if the D-line rush gets even remotely close to you in the pocket, the ball is leaving your hand in a hurry, the receiver being open or not be damned. Then again, it's not hard to defend your go to play, the bail out swing pass in the flat.

"I'm going to beat you with my head and I'm going to beat you with my arm."

Lions fans would like to take your arm, and beat you over your head with it. But when factoring in your arm's accuracy, we'd only hit your head 48% of the time.

"We talked for 30 minutes and I will tell you it's the longest time I've spent with any owner in my five years in the NFL."

Uh, William Clay Ford would never have lowered himself to actually talk to anyone who isn't...Well, he doesn't talk to anyone at all, save for the occasional incoherent conversations with Matt Millen. Even if he did try to talk to you, it would have been like trying to converse with Grandpa Simpson without his meds...

"I was asking him all these questions about Atlanta and the south because it is so new for us. A little while later my wife received four or five books on the history, the culture of Atlanta, things to do here. It was a classy move. I am so fortunate to be here, to be part of this city and to be part of a team led by a genuine man."

Ooooo, snap! I'd say he didn't like his time in the D, you think? As if Ford gives a shit...About anything or anyone, let alone a QB who couldn't complete a 10 yard pass if his life depended upon it.. And Joey, the feelings are mutual. Good riddance to happy footed trash...

"I can't believe the opportunity that I have. I couldn't have asked for anything better."

First off, I don't think Atlanta is all that happy with your "Opportunity." If the Vick stupidity gene hadn't kicked in, you'd be just another bad backup QB. Honestly, I'd love to hear what you'll have to say 8 losses into the season, when you'll be back to doing what you do best. Whine, play the piano, and hold a clipboard, as it sure as Hell isn't playing quarterback.


  1. "Lions fans would like to take your arm, and beat you over your head with it. But when factoring in your arm's accuracy, we'd only hit your head 48% of the time."


  2. agreed. that is the funniest thing i have read in a while.

  3. Hey "Big Al", FACT: The Detroit Lions SUCK, not Joey Harrington. Worst team in the league past 10 years. FACT: Joey Harrington punked you guys throwing 3 TDs on Thanksgiving 2006. MVP of the game. Remember that Big Al?? Hahaha. FACT: Joey Harrington has a 6-Mil contract from the Atlanta Falcons, and you sniveling turds in Loser Town still blame him for the fact your TEAM sucks!! Them are the FACTs Big Al!! The truth hurts, right? :)

  4. With respect to Brian's comments, I don't think you'll find many Lions fans in denial about the Lions sucking. Still, I think the world is a big enough place for both the Lions and Joey Harrington to suck in. Throwing TDs against the Lions is not an indication of great quarterbacking ability. The Thanksgiving game not withstanding, Joey was actually worse last year than his previous two years in Detroit. Would Joey suck this much if he hadn't been drafted by the Lions? That is debatable. But the fact that he sucks right now isn't really much of a question mark.