Thursday, October 05, 2006

Who is really running MLB? We learned the truth last night

If you weren't sure that the Yankees rule MLB with an iron fist, last night was conformation. Here's the memo...

From: George, Your Evil Overlord in NY
To: Bud-lite

As you can see, there's a VERY heavy drizzle around us. Enough to get you damp, and just little chilly. Brrrrr! We Yankees don't like getting wet, as it musses up Jeter's hair, and A-Rod doesn't like getting mud splattered on his uniform. He's funny that way. Our groundskeeper says that he doesn't think the heavy stuff going to come down for quite some time. But why take the chance of pissing us off?

Thing is, playing tonight just isn't going to work for us. Not at all. We have an old as dirt Mussina on the mound, and our middle relief leaves much to be desired. Keep this between friends (And you are a friend, right Bud?), but to be honest, outside of Rivera, our relief staff sucks. Don't worry, I plan on spending another 40-50 million in the off season to take care of it. But that's neither here nor there. Because of those concerns with our pitching, we HAVE to have at least a long delay, preferrably an outright postponement.

I know you don't like confrontations, so think of the consequences if we, the team of the east coast media elite, lose this series. You tell ESPN and FOX that they'll have an A's - Tigers series, and you already know what kind of shit they're going give you. Not the good kind.

You do WANT us in the World Series, don't you?

I thought as much.

We got to go, things to do, so we're taking off a little early. Jeter has a fluffing scheduled with ESPN at 11:00, the New York media at midnight, and he can't reschedule.

I see the Tigers are already warming up, Verlander's tossing in the pen. Don't worry about it, they need all the practice they can get. Tell Leyland to shove that in his mouth and smoke it!

Seriously, we have to go. We're halfway out the door. Anyway, let the Tigers know what we decided when you get the opportunity, OK? I'm sure that they'll be able to find a Motel 6 over in Jersey to stay at tonight.



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