Wednesday, September 20, 2006

EVERYBODY PANIC!!! - The Worldwide Leader is on the drugs edition

What's gotten into the the headline writers at the Worldwide Leader? As my dad might say, "They are on the drugs." Do they even look at the standings? The whole scenario is silly, as in the article that talks about the loss, it calls the White Sox postseason hopes "Faint." That's much closer to the truth.

The headline is laughable. If the Tigers are barely hanging on, just running on fumes, then what in the Hell are the White Sox running on? The obvious answer is, EMPTY.

Come on Bristol, even you clueless boneheads have to realize that the White Sox are on the verge of needing a miracle to make the playoffs. Wait...Let me correct myself, as I was wrong. The White Sox DO need a miracle to make the playoffs. The unwashed masses that is the White Sox fanbase are asking for divine intervention at this point.

You know why the Tigers lost last night? They faced a pitcher, Freddie Garcia, who is even hotter than the Twinkies. He's been so filthy over his last 2 starts, the 1927 Yankess wouldn't have had a chance against him. If Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig would have had trouble with Garcia, then the black hole of suck that is Neifi Perez didn't stand a chance.

The Tigers did what they needed to do in Chicago, win 1 game. The Gambler's win on Monday was the knife in the ChiSox's back. All that happened last night was that the Tigers didn't twist it. Yet. Jay Mariotti, and his poison pen, writing a gleeful obituary of the White Sox season could happen tonight.

But there are still Tiger fans, thanks to Detroit fishwrap sooper geeniuses like Wobb Parker, that are still in full on panic mode.

Even if the good guys lose tonight, there is nothing, I repeat, NOTHING, to panic about. When there are less than 2 weeks left in the season, I'll take losing 1 game in the standings, while having 3 games come off the schedule. At that rate, the Tigers could lose their playoff seeding sometime late in the divisional round...

Yes, the damn Twins are only a half game back. I would much prefer the Tigers win the division. Despite all the bile eminating from Bristol and Wobb, you still have to consider the Tigers the favorites to win the Central. That's even if they lose the division lead over the next day or 2, which is entirely possible. Time, and the schedule, are both in the Tigers favor.

Everyone, just relax. RELAX!

Is this stretch of winning 1, then losing 2, frustrating? Without question. But that was why we were so giddy when the Tiger had stretched their lead to 10 games. That lead would allow them quite a bit of wiggle room as the season wore on. They have needed every bit of that once massive lead.

This is a typical pennant race, for those of you that are too young to have lived through one. Even if your nerves are jangled, and your blood pressure spikes because of a Tiger loss, think back to last year. Last year, when we totally ignored the Tigers, and obsessed over the awful Lions. Talking about good and bad Tiger playoff scenarios is infinitely better than discussing anything about the ship of fools that is our Detroit Lions.

So just take your finger off the panic button, and walk away...

Enjoy the next few weeks. There's nothing better than your team being in a pennant race. And the Tigers will make the playoffs, maybe as the wildcard, maybe as the Central champs. Of course, that's barring divine intervention, or the ghost of Gene Mauch.


  1. hello jay mariotti!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. I feel a lot better since you talked me down off the ledge in August, Al. Besides, even if the Tigers WILD CARD lead was a half game, they're playing with house money at this point as far as I'm concerned. They're on pace to win 96 games. You can't ask for much more than that. If 96 games isn't enough to win a playoff spot, I'll be extremely dissapointed, but so be it.