Chicago White Sox, R.I.P.

The Chicago White Sox are no more. Like the remarkable Norwegian Blue, they aren't resting, they're stone dead. They're bleedin' demised, and definitely deceased. They're pinin' for the fjords, and pushin' up the daisies. They have ceased to be, expired and gone to meet their maker. They're a stiff, bereft of life, resting in peace. Their metabolic processes are now history. The White Sox have kicked the bucket, shuffled off this mortal coil, run down the curtain, and joined the choir invisibile. The Sox are an ex-champion... (Apologies to Monty Python, and dead parrots everywhere...)

The knife the Tigers stuck in the Sox's playoff chances on Monday, was shoved in deeper, and then twisted, last night. The playoff chances of the White Sox went from infinitesimal to non-existent. Couldn't happen to a nicer team.

Opposition coaches and the umpires owe the Tigers a hearty thank you and pat on the back for saving them from the White Sox's white trash fan base.


Is anyone going to miss the mouth of Ozzie Guillen?


Or Chicago's tabloid media, led by the handsomely deplorable Jay Mariotti?


How about Tiger killer Joe Crede? How fitting was that to have him end the game with a double play?


The Tigers did everyone a big time favor by eliminating baseball's the world's biggest douchebag, A.J. Cheaterynski.


No one, absolutely no one, is going to miss Bobby "Cane Toad" Jenks...


(Cane toad and picture courtesy of Sam at Roar of the Tigers)

The White Sox time of death was aproximately 11 pm EDT on 9/20/2006. Cause of death was via bludgeoning with home runs, and overwhelming pitching from the opposition. A lack of timely hitting and declining pitching was a contributing factor in their passing.

We won't have the Chicago White Sox to kick around anymore. They won't be missed.