Friday, February 24, 2006

How NOT to fix the Lions

Oakland Press C-list columnist Pat Caputo compiles a list of quarterbacks he believes the Lions should attempt to sign. Keep in mind, most of the players listed haven't even been released by their current teams. Caputo decides to move forward with his wishful thinking of getting a big money QB anyway. But let's move past all that, and check out his list, which is in no specific order, shall we?

Patrick Ramsey - A bigger question mark than Joey Blue Skies. You would be taking a HUGE leap of faith in hoping Ramsey is better than Joey.

Jon Kitna
- Hasn't played much in two years. Then Kitna got to play the entire Pittsburgh playoff game, and we all remembered why the Bengals drafted Carson Palmer.

Drew Brees - I'd love to have Brees, but there are consequences. Brees would fry the salary cap, and the Lions would have to cut Joey, so another QB would still be needed. Has Brees recovered fully from his shoulder surgery? We have all seen how well Chad Pennington has played after his shoulder went under the knife.

Daunte Culpepper - Nothing but a pipe dream. He's also coming off of a catastrophic knee injury, let alone the Vikes would be crazy stupid to release the man they decided to keep instead of Randy Moss.

Steve McNair - Save a space on IR if you sign McNair. To say he's consistently injured is being generous. If McNair played behind the Lions line, you'd see his name in the obituaries before the season ended. The Titans are more likely to keep McNair, draft a QB, and look to move Billy Volek instead. If Caputo had said to go after Volek, I may have taken this column a little more seriously. Not much more, but a little...

Josh McCown - Possibly the only sensible thing Caputo said in this column. Not that McCown is close to a sure thing, considering the Cards resigned battered Kurt Warner rather than McCown.

Aaron Brooks
- Caputo must be kidding.

Brian Griese
- Yep, now I know he's got to be kidding.

Caputo calls Joey Harrington an "Enigma." No arguement here. I'm just as disappointed with Harrington, and the fact that he's going to be given another shot under center, as the rest of you. Probably more so, if you look at some of my previous posts. But take a good look at the above list of QB's that Caputo thinks would be an upgrade. I think a "Fire Caputo" campaign makes more sense than ditching Joey. I'd rather take my chances on Mike Martz molding Joey into a productive signal caller than go with pipe dreams and never-weres.

As a cherry on top of this steaming pile of a column, Caputo throws in three position players he feels are "Impact" players and would be good signings. Now he's really pulling names out of his nether regions...

Ty Law
- Sure, Law's coming off a nice year, but he's also going into his 12th NFL season. Law thinks he's worth more than his true market value, and don't forget old corners don't age well in the NFL. Why add another big contract to a defensive backfield that already has Dre' Bly, Fernando Bryant, and Kenoy Kennedy signed to big money?

Eric Moulds - This is an "IMPACT" player? An aging wideout on the downside of his career is just what the doctor ordered. Dr. Jeckyl, that is...

LaVar Arrington
- Arrington is an impact player when his head is on straight. According to the Redskins, that isn't all that often. Freelancing linebackers who refuse to follow assignments would be a really good fit with a hard ass head coach like Rod Marinelli, don't you think?

Caputo was a Lions beat writer at one time, so he's deluded himself into thinking he knows what he's talking about. This list proves otherwise. Caputo should stick to writing about baseball, where he still has a little credibility left.


  1. You have to give Caputo credit for one thing...reading that column you realize there's at least there's one person less qualified than Matt Millen to run an NFL team."

  2. HEY! You don't start out talking like that about me, okay? I've covered the team as a beat writer, so I know what I'm talking about, okay?

    And by the way, I look like Vince Vaughn, and there's nothing gay about me! NOTHING!

  3. I could be way off on this, but I doubt it: Media and fans making noise for the Lions to sign or trade for a top-tier free agent QB, a la Brees and Culpepper, are dreaming. I don't think the Lions aren't going to do that. Not this year. Joey's going to have a chance (his third of "last chances") to prove he can succeed in Martz's system.

    The Adam Schefters and John Claytons of the world are trying to put two and two together with the Lions and Brees (who might not even be able to play next season), disregarding the fact that it makes no sense for the Lions to devote that much money to one position, when there are so many others that need help on the roster.

    Of the players Caputo mentioned, I agree with you, Big Al, that McCown makes sense. And though he's hardly an "impact" player, signing Moulds as a veteran presence for the wide receiver corps might not be a bad idea - as long as he understands that's why he's here.

    And I always thought Caputo looked more like Howie Long.

  4. Hey Pat,

    As Ian said, I've always thought you claimed to be a doppelanger for Howie Long. Vince Vaughn? Not so much. Maybe his older, fatter, dumber brother. Okay?

    Thanks for commenting,

    Big Al

  5. Ian,

    If Moulds would come in and accept being a backup, (with a contract to match) acting as Kevin Johnson did last season, I'd love to have him the Honolulu blue and silver. But I doubt he'd accept being the #3 or 4 WR. Someone will give him starter money.

    Big Al