Thursday, January 12, 2006

Want to learn how to interpet a personal ad?

A female friend, who actually answered an internet personal I had posted, asked me to break down another personal with my "Guydar." This was an actual ad as posted on Yahoo, with my snarky opinions interjected. Here goes...

I enjoy camping (Camping out on the couch with the remote and a bag of chips) and taking a canoe ride (Once rode the ferry to Bob-Lo Island) , a picnic on the beach (Watched a chick flick with his ex wife/GF and this scene was in the movie), and weekend trips to scenic places (Mom's backyard), gardening my own vegi's (That's not a vegetable, that's mold growing in the fridge. Mold is a vegetable, right?) , and dining out at times too (Doesn't know how to boil water, so it's eat out or starve). I like to do lots of things from amusement parks (See the Bob-Lo trip mentioned above, and doesn't mention that he got sick on the Rotor) to reading (Comic books in the bathroom, TV Guide, and the back of a Lucky Charms cereal box), playing cards (Watches "The World Series of Poker" on ESPN) to board games (Will only play Trivial Pursuit because he read all the answer cards, otherwise it's Candyland or Chutes and Ladders) and puzzles (the harder the better) (Hard being the TV Guide crossword puzzle - 1 across, "Bo & Luke starred in The ____ of Hazzard"). I have a 13 year old son who gets alot of my time (Because he's constantly talking to the principal about his delinquent kid). I am very a dynamic person as most of us are (Found the word "Dynamic" when he went to to find the antonym of boring). I cannot handle the bar sceen (I forgot to use my spell check...again) anymore (usually if i go its with friends / not to meet ladies and spill stupid pickup lines all over them). (Has given up on the bar "sceen" as women his own age don't go to the bar anymore to meet men. The younger women make fun of him but are willing to let him continue buying them drinks) I am not perfect (Code for neurotic and dysfunctional) and will discuss my weaknesses (Why do you think he's single, because of his strengths?) with anyone willing to get to know me (No one has replied to his ad, hopes you can't read between the lines). I will try my best to respond to all serious responses (Desperate for some action!) . So drop me a line (His picture is 8 years out of date and 30 pounds lighter as well) and see if ya get a bite. (You will get a stalker in return)

By the way, my friend agreed with my code cracking...

Remember, this is the inside dope, mums the word, you didn't hear it from me... I don't want to lose what's left of my "Guy street cred."

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